[Comprehensive] Jasmine became the queen bee

His wife was always ahead of her time.

It's not out of jealousy, it's just like overnight, people all over the street are suddenly obsessed with the consonant "tw", what's your Twitter account, I retweeted, I want to tweet...you Followed me?What is the trend today?

At this time, he would think of a busy night when Jessie took his hand, pulled him from a pile of victim materials to the computer, and said excitedly: "You will never guess that I found out What!"

He looked at the crude website in front of him, and his mind was still on the Doncaster murder and cremation case in 1990.

"It was an invalid domain name before, and the content just appeared today," Jessica's blue eyes were shining. "It is very likely that we will be their first users!"

"Us?" He looked at his hand that was still held by Jessica, her knuckles were softly entangled between his fingers, and the numbers and place names faded away.

"Yes, you and me." Jessica pointed to him and then to herself, "I just registered accounts for the two of us."

"Account." He repeated, "Plural, if this amazing website doesn't allow you to apply for two accounts at the same time, how did you manage to let 'us' become the first user?"

"Well——" Jessica thought for a while, wrinkled her nose and smiled, "Well, in fact, you are the first person to register on Twitter!"

Scotland Yard can wait, as he is now the Copernicus of a no-name website.He accepted the title like a coronation, and they even had a rather entertaining ceremony.

"You won't regret it," Jessica said between laughs. "It's going to be as famous as Facebook in the future."

His wife is likely to be a descendant of a witch. She saw future humans from a certain crystal ball. Each of them was holding their mobile phone and giggling as if their brain had been invaded by a virus.If he had known that, he would have hacked that website to save the planet at that very moment.

Unfortunately, he didn't.So, now, at this moment, there is a person standing in front of him and speaking to him with an Indian accent:

"Sherlock, do you have twitter? I bet you do, so can you follow me? I'm one step away from 1000 followers!"

Rajan was a forensic assistant at Butts Hospital and head of the laboratory where he now works.Indian, overweight, average IQ, no criminal record.Mantras are "This is my lab", "You're crazy", "I'm going to get in trouble".

"No." He didn't take his eyes off the microscope.

One second, two seconds... The person facing him didn't speak, he should be planning some big move.

Reluctantly, he averted his eyes from the swimming cells, quickly slipped off his gloves and pulled out his phone before Rajan could say anything irrevocable.

"Of course I can follow you." He clicked on the blue bird on his phone.

The dissatisfaction on Rajan's face eased a little, "Well, how many fans do you have?"

"As of my last login, 1." He quickly entered the password with both hands.

"Haha." Rajan made a mocking voice, "Jesse got 100 million followers last month, you know?"

He glanced at Rajan and entered the code again.

"I really want to know how she did it, it's unbelievable... why are you so slow?" Rajan brought his dark face closer, "Your account has been frozen, when was the last time you logged in?"

"2006." He stood up and walked around to the other side of the table, out of Rajan's prying eyes.

"How is it possible? I suspect that there was no Twitter at that time." Rajan chased after him persistently.

"Of course." He raised the phone to eye level, and walked to the next room without squinting.Rajan followed, jumping up from time to time to look at his screen, and didn't stop until he saw the whip-scarred corpse in the middle of the room.

"My God! What did you do to this dead man? Allah will not forgive me!" Rajan held his head in his hands and shouted, pulling his hair, uttering a few meaningless words mixed with speaking mother tongue.

"You should be aware that you just had two beliefs in one sentence." He ignored Rajan's fuss almost every time, and bent down to observe the changes in the welt.

"You are a devil, no matter what religion you are in." Rajan exhaled bitterly through his nostrils, "The first time I met you, you were wearing a wedding ring, which made me think you were a A reliable married man. Actually, you are the craziest lunatic."

"Maybe you have some misunderstanding about marriage." He fiddled with one arm of the corpse, squeezing the scar on it.

"Then Jessie must have had a bigger misunderstanding to marry you," Rajan hummed. "She must be a lesbian, and she married you to deceive others."

This judgment is full of prejudice... He can only comfort himself in his heart that this is the effort of a person with an average IQ to understand the unreasonable things in this world, and there is nothing to be angry about.

"Speaking of which, Rajan, it's time for me to go home for dinner." He put the stiff finger back on the corpse, "As you said, Jessica and I had to put the 'formal marriage 'Keep it going...'"

Rajan nodded with a look of "you really should".

He forcefully forced a smile, "If a fresh corpse arrives tomorrow, the death time will be within 24 hours..."

Seeing Rajan staring and trying to say something in disbelief, he immediately went on to say, "I promise you will have 1000 fans within an hour."

Rajan's mouth finally closed.

*****************

When he left Butts Hospital, it was raining lightly outside. He hailed a taxi and said "220 Baker Street".But the car was stuck on the road before it could drive out of Smithfield.He's ashamed of himself for picking such a bad time, but traffic in London is less predictable than it used to be.

Twenty minutes before the promised hour, he took out his phone and clicked on the app again.It took him 20 minutes to answer a few inexplicable questions, sent several emails, but still failed to log in.

Who changed the password?Is it Jessica?

With 10 minutes left, he discouragedly started to apply for a new account.

sherlock holmes...

sherlockholmes01...

Sherlock_Holmes...

realsherlockholmes...

After trying all the combinations over and over again, he finally understood why Jessica wanted to register before everyone else. This is a first-come, first-served invisible resource-who wants to add What about a number? sherlockholmes45, as if to say "there are 44 people with the same name and surname as me, and I am the 45th, because I am one step late, and I don't know how many people will be later."This is too bad.

With 1 minute left, he finally succeeded in entering the next step.

With 40 seconds left, he found Rajan's account.

With 20 seconds left, Rajan's fan count went from 999 to 1000.

At least he won't be turned away tomorrow. If he's lucky, Rajan will secretly leave a good test object for him.

He closed his eyes and rubbed between his brows.Finding Rajan at the Butts Hospital was purely coincidental, but Jessica had a weird look on her face when she knew it, and became weird when he first complained about Rajan's greed and uncontrollable.

"Not everyone will give you selfless devotion," she said in a mocking tone, "Do you think that Gogo Finger will be like... submissive?"

Of course not everyone, but most of them are right under his control.But Jessica became even angrier after hearing his answer, so he said after her mood improved that he had other options, such as Miss Lane from another laboratory...

"Then you're sure she must be completely under your control?" Jessica said sourly, threw the dirty laundry in her hand on his head, turned and walked away.

He has absolutely no control over anything like this baseless accusation.So since then he has had no choice.

The scary thing is that Jessica and Rajan became good friends later.From then on, there was one more person who felt sorry for Jessica's marriage.

Fortunately, he managed to control Rajan in the end.Of course Rajan will feel that he is controlling him, don't doubt it, this is also his purpose.

He stared at the blue bird on the screen, and clicked in again.He found Jessica's account on Rajan's watchlist.Although he knows his wife is a social networker, but 100 million followers - this is an achievement.

Jessica's headshot is her profile, and the sunlight outlines the perfect outline of her forehead, nose tip and lips.With a picture of a tropical rainforest in the background, the bio reads "wife, bad cook, astrophysicist and one-time time traveler".

His fingers slid down, most of what Jessica posted was flat, #MondayMotivation, #FridayNightYouShould,

#国际书书日，#英国少妇我支持，#Kate 王婚婷了，#今天的首页，#When you burnt the eggs again...

When she just surpassed 100 million followers recently, she launched a #AskJessie question, answering silly questions like "Which is easier, a wife or an astrophysicist?", to which she said "probably the wife" , "Who took your avatar photo?", she said "I can't be more real", "Can you really time travel?", she said "Of course I will, I'm not lying"...

After swiping through dozens of tweets, he finally came across a less boring one.

@JessieHarris: Made a low cal veggie bar today and someone said "I'm pretty sure it's for horses". [Laughing and crying] #危除的厨师# and her motivation#You won’t understand

He is very sure that this very certain someone is himself. This tweet has been retweeted more than 2 times and liked more than 3 times, which is better than the last one "Stay in the laboratory until the early morning #When Friday Night Arrives #我爱My work" was much higher with less than a thousand retweets.

He went in satisfied, but saw the first reply:

@JohnHoney: @JessieHarris who said that?

What a dull question.

The first item in Jessica's profile is "wife". Is it strange that her husband appears here?

Fortunately, except for this one, the rest of the replies are almost all "That must be your husband", "What a happy family", "Someone is your husband", etc. It seems that there are still a few smart people among these 100 million people of.

He went back to the top, looked at @JohnHoney and his comment, which was extremely obtrusive, and suddenly realized that there was something wrong with @JohnHoney's avatar - a big golden retriever dog, and he saw the same pattern on John's computer more than once.He clicks into @JohnHoney's profile and finds his profile as "Blogger, Veteran, Temporary Assistant to Scotland Yard Consulting Detectives".

Well, this is John, you can't expect a person to have an IQ on social media that they don't have in real life.

John's homepage is even more boring, in addition to posting some trivial life, it is constantly promoting his own blog that is out of reality.

He returned to Jessica's homepage, and kindly reminded John under the sentence "who said that":

@JohnHoney: @JessieHarris who said that?

@OATOSherlockHolmes: @[email protected] world's greatest mind

He continued to scroll down and swiped through dozens more before seeing one related to him.Jessica first retweeted a "My husband is crying ugly at work and won't let me comfort him #写歌是真实事", and then replied "My husband is also a freelancer, he will be at work Sudden nervous laughing #truth”

what?

He had never laughed out loud, let alone nervously, since he was born.

John replied again, the content was "#confirmed", and there was another account that was obviously Lestrade's account saying "this is why your husband is a freelancer and his colleagues applied collectively".

Frowning involuntarily, he replied @Greg_Lestrade70.

@OATOSherlockHolmes: @Greg_Lestrade70 That's why Scotland Yard's cracking rate is down year on year, my colleagues collectively create.

He clicked on Lestrade's homepage, and found that the profile picture was a pink cartoon pig's head, and the age of the information was actually 25 years old.He casually replied under the first one, "This person may strike up a conversation with you, so you must know that he is not 25 years old, nor is he a cartoon pig, and he is still working in the most unpromising place in the world."

He came back, ready to perfectly clear up the "neurotic laugh" rumor, neither as a weak refutation under despair, nor as a strong criticism.However, after struggling for a long time, he couldn't do these two points at the same time within 140 letters, so he gave up replying and continued to slide down.

Well, Jessica replied with a love-eyed look to her brother Raymond, who is now in the US.It was a selfie of Raymond with a stubbled face, a receding chin, wide eyes and raised eyebrows, which were not aesthetically pleasing.He clicked on Raymond's homepage, and was instantly rendered almost colorblind by the flashing, ever-changing images of the rainbow, paired with photos from gay gangs in Spain.In addition, there are many selfies from the same angle, with backgrounds ranging from the bed, the street, the beach, to my long-haired boyfriend, to the long-haired boyfriend on the bed.He guessed that Twitter's reporting function should not be very easy to use, and they should introduce a grading system.

In any case, he decisively clicked the report.

Well, another brother, this time his own brother.Jessica retweeted a "Merry Christmas" tweet from McCoff.I really didn't expect that a person like McCoff who is about to step into the grave will make the final struggle on the road of aging, which is admirable... Oh no, he retracted his words, the strong patriotism of McCoff's homepage is impressive Nausea, the profile picture is a photo with the Queen, the background is the British flag, the profile is a link to the government's official website, and the top content is "God Save the Queen". Apart from retweeting the Prime Minister's tweets, the rest are congratulations on various festivals like telling the time.

Although he knew that this was probably done by an intern, this kind of flattery that seemed to be in the same line made him unable to stay for another second.

The author has something to say:

I have been brainstorming on the road for the past few days, I hope you like it~

Because the recent plot push is a bit confusing, I wrote a side story to change my mood. Since the main line collapsed, the author has been in the awkward writing of doubting life_(:з」∠)_

So, if the little angels have anything you want to see, you can leave a message, I will consider it, really! !

If you can't add it to the main thread, you can post a side story! !Author Bacteria needs a little push! !

#From now on incarnation point song platform#Customized Service Open#I am the first author in Jinjiang who asked readers for inspiration for writing#But I am so desperate

In short, thank you for waiting~Refill~~

I feel like I am one step closer to 1w5! !It will be released early this morning or tomorrow, don't wait! !don't wait! !don't wait! !