Escape

"Why haven't you left yet?"

Zheng Xiaoyu sat in front of me and buttoned up her underwear, put on a transparent white shirt, lifted her knee-length skirt, put on a thin police uniform jacket, and zipped up her black short boots.She fumbled for a cigarette case from the window sill, took out a cigarette and lit it, took a lazy puff, and then threw the cigarette case into the trash can.Her eyes stayed in the trash can for a while, and then she smiled half-understanding.

"Of course I can't go, I'm still waiting for you to be responsible for me." She fell down beside me and put her hand on my chest blatantly, "You were too anxious last night and didn't even take safety measures, I If something goes wrong..."

"I'll take charge."

I took her hand away, sat up by myself, and took out my pants from the bedside table and put them on.

"I drank too much last night, I apologize. Too many things have happened recently, and my mind is a bit messed up. Can you... let me just sit and think for a while?"

She looked at me indifferently, took another drag on her cigarette, and then climbed out of bed.

"Then think about it slowly. But there is something I have to tell you..." She leaned into my ear and whispered, "You need to practice your skills more, you can't rely on brute force alone in the relationship between men and women. If you need a partner , I will accompany you at any time."

She blew a puff of smoke in my face, and when I didn't respond, she walked straight to the door.She seemed to have kicked something in front of the door, bent down to pick it up, put it in her pocket, and left with a crisp sound.

After I couldn't hear the sound of high heels, I went around the bed to look at the trash can under the window sill. Under the empty cigarette box, there were several balls of crumpled tissues and a few cigarette butts of different lengths.

I am not at home these days, the user of these cigarettes can only be one person.

Late night, cigarettes, paper towels, bed... I can't believe that he would do it through the things they associate with.What did he do, what was he thinking?He must know what happened last night, what forced him to acquiesce?

I didn't have the energy to think about it anymore, I just wanted to see him as soon as possible.

But when I rushed to his bedroom, there was no one there.I dialed his phone, and after the cold reminder, there was a resolute hang up.A few seconds later, a text message came through.

"We're watching a movie, what's up?"

us?A nameless fire tore me apart, it manipulated me to the gym, I looked at the hard, hard beanbag, imagined him to be myself, and pounded it with punch after punch.

What exactly did he do?

No.What did I do?

What the hell did I do?

It was getting dark and he came back.

"Who did you watch it with? A movie." I asked.

"Wu Jing."

"...are you together?"

"Ah."

"When?"

"some days ago."

I opened my mouth, closed it again, and then took out the lighter without hesitation, lit a cigarette in front of him, and took a puff.After talking for a while, I spoke again.

"You don't talk about loyalty, kid. As soon as I leave, you will find a woman behind my back."

"Aren't you the same?" He said with a smile on his face, "But can you keep your voice down when you bring your girlfriend home for the night, I almost sued you for disturbing the people."

I was stunned suddenly, did Zheng Xiaoyu tell him?How did I drink so much last night that I can't remember anything now.The last memory before the fragment is that Zheng Xiaoyu kissed me in front of the big guys, and then the brothers handed me the wine one cup after another.

Did she confess, did I agree?Can not remember.

"Xu Zhi, the few days I'm not here..."

I was about to ask what happened when Xu Zhi interrupted me.

"By the way, I might move in with Wu Jing tomorrow. She rented a house outside. It's a little smaller than your house, but it's more convenient for couples to rent less."

Moved to live with Wu Jing, am I wrong?I wanted to ask, but Xu Zhi still didn't give me a chance. It felt like he wasn't talking to me at all.

"After I move out, you and your girlfriend can live together. My stay here is too much of a hindrance to you two. Then I will go to tidy up the room first. I thought I would live here for a long time, but I brought a bunch of them. Things, maybe I have to throw some away..."

After listening to him spit out a long series of words like a machine gun, I watched him walk back to his room again.

I began to doubt myself, where did that Xu Zhi go a few nights ago?It's like he never existed.If so, what about the wads of paper and cigarette butts in the bedroom?

After recovering, he realized that the cigarette between his fingers had already fallen to the ground.It was dying and burning, and I couldn't bear the look of this dying struggle, so I stomped it out.

The sound of thunder pierced through the sky.

A rain fell all night, I smoked a pack of cigarettes all night, I thought about one idea all night.

After a long time, the rain stopped.A small patch of light was arched by the window, and I opened the window, and the smell of dirt after the rain overcame the smell of smoke.

I cooked the last breakfast for Xu Zhi, and he said that my cooking skills are getting better and better, and I am almost catching up with Wu Jing.I held the chopsticks tightly and resisted the urge to lift the table.

"I can't help it. My family's Xiaoyu's ten fingers don't touch the spring water. As a husband, I must be able to go to the hall and go to the kitchen."

He smiled, bowed his head and took two mouthfuls of rice.

"Is everything packed?"

"Okay, let's go later."

"Do you want me to carry your luggage for you?"

"No, I can move it myself."

I cleaned up the bowls and chopsticks and piled them in the kitchen randomly.After I came out, I couldn't see him anywhere, thinking that maybe he dragged his suitcase and left while I was away.

I don't want to say anything, I don't feel anything, I've never been so numb.

I went back to the bedroom, touched a cigarette mechanically, put it in my mouth, didn't light it, just held it like that.Lying on the bed in a daze, staring at the electric fan spinning on the ceiling.

I had a dream.A dining table was shrouded in warm yellow light, and the sound of the news broadcast on the TV fluctuated.

Wu Jing brought plates of delicacies to the table, and Zheng Xiaoyu squatted in front of the TV, playing fake sex with a little boy who looked like me.Turning around, Xu Zhi was sitting at the dining table reading a book.He saw me, put the book aside, took a piece of braised fish with chopsticks and fed it.As soon as I opened my mouth, a little girl grabbed the corner of my clothes.

"The two of you just know how to sit and go to the kitchen to prepare food."

"Xiao Xu, that's not how you hold a gun. Auntie will teach you."

"Dad, Dad, I want to eat..."

"Hurry up and eat, Wu Jing's craftsmanship is really good."

"Dong dong dong."

The knock on the door pulled me out of bed and pushed me to open the door.

"You didn't leave?"

I looked at Xu Zhi who came in from the door, thinking that I was still in a dream.

Without even looking me in the eye, he entered the room and threw a bulging envelope on the bed.He came to my desk again and took out the books that he lent me to read when he taught me ideology and politics. The rest of the miscellaneous books suddenly lost their support and swayed.

He held the stack of books and turned to leave.

I rushed forward and hugged him.

He tried to turn around in my arms, and I had no choice but to increase my strength, for fear that if I didn't pay attention, he would be wiped out.

But I forgot that he is someone I can't get even in my dreams.His figure and smell had already melted into the air.No matter how hard you try to hold this breath, it will only rest for a while, and then dissipate with a gust of wind.

"Xu Zhi, did you forget to say something..."

He responded bluntly without thinking: "Officer Lu, thank you for taking care of me during this time. I put the rent on your bed, and I also returned the things you left with me. Can we go now? "

"Can you not go?" I asked.

"...we'll see you again," he replied.

I finally let go and watched him close the door and leave.

He's gone, this time for real.

I sat back on the bed, picked up the envelope, and tore it apart indiscriminately.A bundle of red banknotes hit the bed like a brick, and there was a small foreign object on top of the bundle of banknotes.

It was a rose petal that had dried up and turned yellow and curled up in a shapeless ball.

I took out the phone, and as I expected, Zheng Xiaoyu had already saved her number in it while I was asleep.I dialed her number and she was connected immediately.

"Can you come as a sparring partner now?"

"You figured it out?"

"Figured out."

It doesn't matter if you get drunk or have a dream.

In the end, it is no match for the dawn.