[Comprehensive] How to raise this pill without writing about Su Wen

"Wait, wait a minute, what did you suddenly say, Tsurumaru!" Akiba was suddenly at a loss, never expecting that Tsurumaru would ask this question, but she calmed down soon, "This kind of time is also included in' and The time we were together', so I won't deny it."

But why did she feel that Tsurumaru's words had ulterior motives? ?

"Oh? Is that so!" Tsurumaru applauded softly, "This is really great."

"But this and that are two different things!" Qiuye gestured a big cross with her arm, "Feeling happiness and having love are not synonymous, can they? And I...!"

When talking about this matter, Qiuye's emotions became agitated for some reason, her words were stuck in her throat, her lips trembled slightly, and her heartbeat couldn't stop speeding up.

There was no way to coherently say what came next.

"Master...?"

"And I... It's not that I don't understand that feeling at all, it's just... It's just me..."

Still can't say it.

Throat feels like it's being burned.

Why does Tsurumaru have to mention the only thing she cares about?If possible, of course she would like to be "loved" and "loved" like ordinary people, but only in this hommaru, in the opposite Yinyangliao, in this different space that is completely independent from the real world, can she be able to do so. Be able to become the "ordinary person" she expected.

Wanting to suppress the burning sensation and uneasiness, she pushed open the loose cork on the wine bottle, poured the wine into the glass that she had placed on the table but hadn't touched for a long time, and then poured the wine Put the wine aside, pick up the glass and take a sip.The rich lick fruit flavor mixed with the taste of alcohol spread in her mouth, which made her feel at ease.

"I'm just... as expected, I can't really understand the feelings I've never had before..."

Speaking inconsistent words, but these are her true words.

"Hmm...? Is it because of something that happened in this world before?"

It was the first time he saw Qiu Ye like this, but he had no way to comfort her, so he had to follow her words and ask.

"...It's quite a boring story, are you sure you want to hear it?" Qiu Ye shook the wine glass in her hand, and then took another sip.

"Of course, I'm really looking forward to hearing the story of the Lord's past."

Even if it is "someone I liked before" or "the story of my ex-boyfriend", he will recognize it, anyway, it is the past tense... What Tsurumaru didn't expect was that what Akiba said, completely unrelated to these.

Rather, if she had ever met such a person, she might not—

As she said, if her life so far is compiled into a story, it must be a boring story with no point.

Most of the children born in powerful families are educated in this way - "to be an elite", "to be perfect", "to be stronger than anyone else", because they are children of the [XX] family.

Because she is a child of the Hoshino family.

Although it can't be called one of the best, it can be regarded as among the best.Her parents never gave up the dream of squeezing into the front row, so it is only natural that they hope that their children will work hard and become the best people in the world.

It's like a tool.

To put it bluntly, it is the capital that parents use to show off. When mentioning their children to outsiders, it feels like showing off the dress they just bought.

How can ordinary people have feelings for "items" that are consumables?

Until now, she has never received "love" from her parents.

In this regard, her brother is the same.

Because I have never experienced love, I don't know how to love other people.He is humble and polite to outsiders, but he can only be mean to his sister, because Qiuye is the only one who can make him do this.

If anything, her life has been tortured so far.

I have never experienced love, and I am forced to put on a mask for myself.

When I was young, I wanted to attract the attention of my parents and did a few stupid things, but the parents not only refused to buy it, but also "educated" her several times.

She didn't know how stupid she was until she saw the story of "Wolf is Coming".

She didn't intend to lie, but in the eyes of her parents (villagers), what she (the protagonist) said would always be a lie.Even if she does encounter setbacks (wolves), it is just an illusion that does not exist.

pain.

I have been wearing a mask all the time, and I can't tell the truth. Fortunately, there is a "brother" on top of me. Even if I don't do my best, as long as I am in the front row, my parents will not criticize me too much.

But because of the "mask", she will still try her best to ask herself to be the best and perfect, as if this is her duty.

She worked so hard for a reason.

She wants to escape from this house.

As long as she tries hard to put aside the relationship with this family, she can be herself again.

She had met a young lady who had a similar experience to her before and said a certain sentence to her, which made her unforgettable forever.

——"Anyway, we are only used as tools in the end, and our parents arrange to marry men from other families that are beneficial to us, and then repeat this boring cycle. Isn't this the fate that awaits us?"

Yes, probably waiting for her is such a formulaic fate.

That's why she is struggling to break free, and one day she will leave here.

Most human beings will judge a person by their appearance, or if they only look at the appearance, they will not see the incomplete part inside.Because of wearing a mask, she has never made friends, and because of wearing a mask, she has always given a perfect impression, and naturally there are not a few people who confess to her.

She reads every love letter.

She obviously watched it all, but she couldn't understand what kind of emotion it was.

Not long after entering junior high school, she met a certain boy at school who had known each other because of her parents.

It feels somewhat similar to myself, but completely different.

They will always meet on campus, and he and she will greet each other and make daily greetings.For her, this was just a necessary task, and Akiba thought it was the same for him.

But she didn't think he was wearing a thick mask like herself.

Why exactly—?Obviously he is much, much better than himself.

I don't understand.

Qiuye would always run to the roof of the teaching building and look down from the roof. This habit did not change until she was in high school.

She always wondered what it would be like to jump over this railing.

If she jumped from here, would she be free?

do not know.

She also couldn't understand this point.

I just simply thought that it would be great if I could jump down.

It was the same day, she grabbed the grid of the railing and looked at the ground, but there was the sound of the door being pushed open from behind.

Turning around subconsciously, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that it was the boy.

I just breathed a sigh of relief.

There is still a fake smile on the surface.

The topic of the two was still just ordinary greetings, and she didn't know what to say to others other than that.I like to come to the rooftop only because there are usually no people here.

That is, just trying to avoid human contact.

Then I thought about the question "whether I can get freedom by jumping off" day after day.

At least in her opinion, the students who walk together in twos and threes on the playground, talking and laughing together, and those who take time to practice club activities during lunch break are probably free.

The same is true of him in front of him.

When she passed the basketball club a few days ago, she saw him.Although she couldn't see the specific scene clearly, she was sure that he was playing basketball differently than usual.

He couldn't describe the feeling well.

So, she asked him like this——

Are you happy playing basketball?

The boy neither affirmed nor denied, as if he understood what Akiba really wanted to say, he just answered her like this——

If you like it, you will be very happy.

How about Hoshino-san looking for something he likes too?

In this case, maybe you can understand it.

She kept thinking about what the boy said.

Something she likes...?It doesn't exist at all, right?

After all, she can't even understand feelings.

I'm just envious of ordinary people who don't need to wear masks, and want to be such ordinary people.

After saying goodbye to the boy, she returned to the class, holding her face in a daze.

favorite things.

Does such a thing exist in the world?

Accidentally, Qiuye heard the chatting content of the girls around.

"Yesterday, I finished reading Mr. Irie's new work."

"Ah, I watched it too...it's really touching."

"Right, right, I've been crying for a long time, ah... just thinking about it makes me feel like I'm going to cry again."

"That's why you're wearing sunglasses today?"

"if not!"

……

Akiba glanced casually and saw the cover and name of the book.

There is no way to understand.

Aren't the stories in the book all false?Why cry over false stories?

Incomprehensible.

Unlike her elder brother who is picked up by a driver every day, Qiu Ye insists on walking.

Passing by the bookstore on her way home from school, she looked into the store while thinking about the conversations of her classmates.

On the most conspicuous shelf, she saw the novel that her classmates were discussing today.

...not out of interest.

only--

Why, at that time, a strong premonition sprouted in her heart——she must buy this book.

By the time she regained consciousness, she was already standing in front of the cashier with this book.

The language is mediocre, and the story can't be called ups and downs, or even storytelling.

It's just an ordinary novel about "love".

But why?

It's not even as good as the words written by myself. Why can't the tears stop falling after reading it?

Obviously she couldn't understand this kind of feeling, it was something she never had.

……

Ah, so it is.

At that moment, she suddenly understood.

This is love?

Although it was just a fictional story, she did experience the "feelings".

This is emotion.

As long as you carefully understand what you want to express between the lines, you can feel sad and happy even if you have never experienced it.

Words are like magic.

She understood things that she had never understood until now.

After that, it became out of control, and the novel became the only meaningful thing in her life.

Maybe it's just using words to experience things that she doesn't have, but she is indeed slowly changing from before.

Very happy.

Whether it is before or after reading the novel, she will feel happy.

She also gradually understood what the boy said, "If you like it, you will be very happy."

Even though she still wears a mask on the outside and keeps a distance from people, her inner thoughts have changed.

I will still go to the rooftop, but I no longer think about whether I can be free through the railing, but read the words in the book through the sunlight and tranquility.

Probably because I read a lot of light novels, my inner activities became more colorful.I will secretly pick up what my classmates say or make complaints about it, and I will also imagine the state of getting along with them.

But really becoming a "friend" is still exempt.

In the current state, it is even more impossible for her to interact with people. If she accidentally exposes her true nature, the image she has worked so hard to build over the years will all collapse.

So she chose to create.

I wrote all the things I wanted to say and express, and I wrote all my sorrows, joys, and "feelings" that I couldn't understand well into novels.

Dealing with editors at publishing houses can be troublesome, which is why she chose the Internet.

Her name is Hoshino Akiba, so her pseudonym is Moon Chao Haruka.

It is a pseudonym that is completely opposite to my own name, and it is also something written by my inner self that is completely different from my appearance.

Probably the true self... or something like that.

Although her parents and elder brother will still put pressure on her, at least now she has something she wants to do.She can also use this hobby and wish to earn a small income for herself, and one day she will escape from this house by herself, and then completely take off the mask on her face.

At that time, she will be able to completely change back to herself.

The novel I wrote is more popular than expected, and I will be able to hear my name from my classmates soon.Whenever she hears others talk about her story, she feels very happy.

For her, it's communication.

This is the only way to completely convey your own thoughts to others.

Being affirmed by readers is a very, very happy thing.

Happier than any other compliment.

That's why she kept writing, and she tried to write various stories.

— “Any” story does.

So she also thought occasionally, although it is very common for the boy who changed himself to win the game or win the first place, but he must be the most important only when he wins "basketball". Be happy and happy.

The teenager's parents are the ones his own parents have long wanted to please.

When she was about to graduate from middle school, Qiu Ye's parents asked her to apply for the same high school as the boy.

She naturally knew what her parents were planning, and while laughing at her parents, don't try to climb up all the way, others might look down on you at all, while thinking that it would not be bad to go to the same college as the teenager.

After all, it was the boy's words that changed him.

She will find the meaning of her life.

But when she went to talk to the boy again and wanted to thank him, the boy seemed to be a different person.

"Happy? I don't remember ever saying that."

"No victory means nothing... No, victory is absolute."

She didn't know why the boy at that time would say such cold words.

Just plain, feel sad.

Started to get scared of him too.

He was not the boy he knew.

Qiu Ye didn't want to obey her parents anymore, so she tried every means to find an unremarkable private school to enroll in.My parents were furious about this, but because my older brother happened to have a high degree at that time, my parents let me go.

Anyway, it is her elder brother who will inherit the family business. Her task at home is not to embarrass the family members, and then throw it out as a tool to marry any family more powerful than her own... If she doesn't resist, what is waiting for her is Such an ending.

Before school started, in order to make herself look more inconspicuous, and to make herself look more similar to her identity as a "writer", she cut her bangs, bought hair accessories, and found black-rimmed glasses without prescription ...No matter how you look at it, she is like a literary girl.

As for my new school...

The classmate Qi Mu at her next table looked subtly similar to that boy, which surprised her.

The beautiful girl Teruhashi in the same class attracted the attention of all the boys, which made her feel a lot easier.

Well, anyway...it's relatively easy.

During the summer vacation, she tried to challenge and write a drag racing plot, which was well received by readers. She was out of control and wrote the whole summer vacation, and she was also racing intermittently after school started.

until--

Until Foxnosuke appeared in front of her.

Before that, Akiba had also heard about the "God Judge Project", so he was not surprised by Fox's appearance.The reason why she rejected Fox's help was firstly because her parents would never agree, and if they agreed without authorization, they might not spare her this time, and secondly, because she was afraid that after becoming a god judge, she would not be able to write novels.

...that's how it should be.

But after being forcibly thrown into the Honmaru by Foxnosuke, she could only break the pot and start working as a god judge.In that huge space, there is no human being other than himself.

In other words, no one was looking at her anymore.

Here, she is not the daughter of the Hoshino family, but just a "spirit judge".

Slowly trying to take off the mask, fully revealing the real self that is usually covered by the mask.

Only here is she like this.

So she really, really likes every Fusangshin in Honmaru, and hopes that they can all be happy.

Because I am happy here.

It is the Fusangshen who taught her what "happiness" is, so she will do her best for them.

Parents occasionally go to the government to ask the government to "return" themselves.

Don't say she doesn't want to go back, the government will not return her.

Even if her parents came to find her in Honmaru, she felt that she would resist them without hesitation.

Living with everyone in Honmaru, she feels like she can do anything.

The story ends here.

"That's it, I'm done."

The topic was not very pleasant, Qiuye just smiled wryly while drinking wine and finished the whole story about herself.

"What a boring story, Tsurumaru thinks so too, right?"

"Well, I just have one question."

Tsurumaru stroked his chin.

"Who was that boy you mentioned when you were in junior high school?" I always felt that my position was suddenly threatened!

"Is this what you focus on!!"

"The reason why the lord will write a drag racing scene is not clear at all!"

"...Stop your focus for a moment!?"

Akiba's heart is broken.

Fuck, shouldn't it be normal to comfort her and hug her at times like this, saying that everyone and I will always be by your side? ?Why is the reaction of this crane ball so unpredictable! !

Because of Tsurumaru's question, the sad atmosphere in the room suddenly disappeared.

She didn't want to cry at all, she just wanted to beat him hard.

The moment Akiba stretched out her hand to grab Tsurumaru's face, she suddenly understood.

...It's to adjust the atmosphere, that's why I said that.

Really, this guy, he usually looks unreliable at all, but when it matters, he...

She endured tears for a long time, but at this moment they fell.

The author has something to say: The boy in middle school was Akashi!The team leader forced soy sauce 23333333333333

The number of words has exploded, so read one chapter as two chapters!love me! (go away

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读者“阿飘”,灌溉营养液+102017-07-0501:50:40

读者“天下第一总攻”,灌溉营养液+12017-07-0419:09:03

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