[Comprehensive] I am in love with your male god, what do you want to say?

Tenshin Goten

(This chapter is also a Sawada episode)

Three years later, Tsunayoshi Sawada was 25 years old.

At the age of 25, compared to when he was 22, he is a bit more tactful and calm in character.His face was the same as before, delicate and gentle.However, the past three years turned into three 360-day boundless years that overlapped repeatedly, and his eyes were engraved with mysterious and indelible marks.If the 22-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada has a pair of clear and innocent eyes, then the eyes of the 25-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada are like mist, hiding countless unexplained stories.

Sawada Tsunayoshi feels old.

On her 25th birthday, Tsunayoshi Sawada got an extra birthday present.The Vengley headquarters replaced the portrait of the 22-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada hanging in the hall, and he was replaced by the 25-year-old him.

The 22-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada was wearing a black suit and wearing the style of King Vongola I. At that time, he was very immature and young, and his soft brown eyes were like flowing beautiful autumn water.But the 25-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada went to see his 22-year-old self again, and he didn't know what kind of mood he was at that time.

He couldn't understand himself more and more.

His spirit and flesh were separated from each other.

Once Keigo Atobe came to him, sat opposite him, and chatted with him calmly.This is one of the few meetings. The two first chatted about each other's daily life in an ordinary way. Atobe said that he had a new girlfriend.

"I broke up with Matsumoto Risa." There was a faint smile hidden in Atobe's gray eyes, "I was dumped."

Sawada Tsunayoshi didn't know what to say at the time.

His mind was blank, he thought about himself sadly, regretted that he had not recovered from the shadow of Xie Lingling, and was lingering until now.He was in too much pain, his heart was cold, and he even lost the ability to love.

After thinking hard for a long time, Sawada finally said softly: "Congratulations."

you're free.

He thought that Keigo Atobe had completely abandoned the past and forgotten all the love and hatred in the past.Sawada envied and rejoiced, while he was in pain, another voice in his heart reminded him in surprise: In this case, Xie Lingling will belong to you alone.

But later he was saddened by Keigo Atobe's self-deception.

Sawada Tsunayoshi saw Keigo Atobe's girlfriend by chance.In the hall of Atobe's house, Atobe hugged her affectionately, the girl's eyes were soft, and she rubbed her arms obediently.Her short hair is like a well-behaved black cat, with the color of silk.

She has a face that is very similar to Xie Lingling, especially her eyes, the corners of which are slightly raised, and she looks cold and distant when she is not smiling.

When Sawada chatted with her, the girl's crisp voice was soft and sweet.She complained to him, "It's all Jingwu's fault, I like long hair so much, but he took me to the barber shop to have my hair cut!"

Sawada Tsunayoshi just smiled.

He sighed in a low voice later: "...Forgive him."

He thought that Keigo Atobe suffered the same indelible scars as him, but the paths the two of them had to take were completely different.

Atobe did not give up, he just chose another way.

Later, Tsunayoshi Sawada was 26 years old.

He is still shining, slender and elegant, wearing a decent but expensive three-piece suit, walking on the edge of the mafia's invisible light.He is becoming more and more unfathomable, and his secretive temperament has attracted the attention of many women.

Then a beautiful blue-blooded beauty offered him an olive branch.

She said arrogantly and awkwardly: "Mr. Sawada, the whole of Italy is huge, and there are thousands of charming men. It is your honor that I can choose you."

Sawada simply refused.

At that time, everyone did not understand his behavior.In their view, what a blessing it should be to have such a noble and bright wife.

Even Takeshi Yamamoto, who was by his side, said, "Gangna, I think she is suitable for you."

"That's just what you think, I don't think it's suitable, it's just not suitable." Sawada said softly.

So it's done.

The 26-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada has really developed a bad habit.

He is used to smoking.

The 22-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada smokes only because of love. The 26-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada smokes because he cannot but because of love, and also has a numbness developed by time.

He has entered a complete ice-cold state, his eyes are dark, even if he smiles, his eyes are like dark clouds that cannot be opened by the sun.

Often in the dead of night, he opened the door of the balcony, and under the night wind, he took out a cigarette from his pocket, lit a blue flame with the lighter at his fingertips, held one between his index finger and middle finger, and then swallowed it facing the sky. Clouds and fog.

The 26-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada did one more thing.

He brought back Hayato, who was on mission in the United States.

Not seeing each other for four years, there seems to be a sense of distance between the two of them.He was a little silent. The years brought him a sense of vicissitudes, but it was a pity that it was not reflected in his skin, but filled his green eyes.

He's a little thinner, but still in great spirits.

Sawada Tsunayoshi stood opposite the prison temple, with a smile on his face.In fact, there was no joy welling up in his heart at that time.

Why are you laughing?

Probably out of habit.

"Welcome back," he said with a smile.

"Judaimu..." Jidai still called his name with his magnetic and hoarse voice.A trace of sadness flashed across his face, and he lowered his eyes.Four years had changed his stubbornness, and he said to him in a contrite tone, "I'm sorry."

The "sorry" that came four years late, the "sorry" that Tsunayoshi Sawada waited for for four years.

Sawada continued to laugh: "Kujiji-kun, I have forgiven you. I was indeed acting on my own will." He paused, and then said, "You are still my guardian of Arashi, and this will not change. "

Because of this sentence, the 26-year-old invincible prison temple Hayato shed tears.

Those vivid pasts seem to be in front of us. The 22-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada had a cold war with him because of Xie Lingling's disappearance. He hated him so much at the time, and while actively alienating him, he became taciturn.

The 22-year-old prison temple Hayato is stubborn and stubborn, and he didn't explain the reason until the end.

He didn't say "sorry" either.

The 22-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada broke with him.

Both are now 26 years old.

Two youths with youthful bodies, but their hearts are old people who are dying.

The grievances and grievances between the old people will be slowly erased with time.

Sawada Tsunayoshi finally forgave him.

This year is No.20 seven years old.

Tsunayoshi Sawada blew out the candles on the cake, and Kyoko Sasakawa applauded for his birthday.She made it a point to ask him out on the night of his birthday, and the two had dinner in a quiet restaurant.

Kyoko Sasakawa still has beautiful long orange hair and gentle eyes. She always speaks in a low voice, just like Nadeshiko.

"Gangji-jun." She called him.

five years.

Kyoko Sasakawa hinted at him for five full years.

Sawada Tsunayoshi smiled: "Huh? What's the matter, Kyoko?"

Jingzi's face suddenly turned red. Under the dim light of the restaurant, the blush was not obvious, but it made her eyes shine like water, extremely bright.

"Gunji-kun, I think..."

She hesitated, a hint of shyness hidden in her voice.

When Tsunayoshi Sawada was in middle school, he admired Kyoko Sasakawa so much.At that time, she was the goddess of his dreams, the perfect muse in the hearts of all men in the school.She has a good personality, gentle and lovely speech, excellent grades, and even women maintain respect and love for her.

And Tsunayoshi Sawada, who was in his teens at the time, was poor and frustrated, with zero grades in every field, decadent and unmotivated, and he was not good at anything.

Because of longing, so will have a crush on.

At that time, Sawada Tsunayoshi didn't really like Sasakawa Kyoko.

For him, "Kyoko Sasakawa" is a perfect "ideal".

"Gunji-kun, I think I like..."

"No, Kyoko." Sawada's voice was like a quiet air current in the deep sea. "Do not say."

Sawada Tsunayoshi stared at Kyoko's beautiful orange eyes with deep eyes.

"..." Kyoko fell silent.

"Let's go back." Sawada Tsunayoshi whispered, "Thank you for spending my 27th birthday with me."

"Kunaji..."

"I'm very happy, Kyoko, thank you." He finally laughed.

Even if it's not a happy smile.

Like him, she is a sad person who cannot love.

Sawada Tsunayoshi finally rejected Kyoko Sasakawa.For him, the future without Xie Lingling is just a barren desert.

He is the lifeless grain of sand within.

Already 27 years old, Tsunayoshi Sawada couldn't be any younger. At the age of 25, he already felt aging, until now, two years later, he once again felt the ruthlessness of the sharp knife of time.

Even his mother was urging him in a hurry.

She said, "Ah Gang, are you not ready to get married yet?"

"Ah, Mom..." Sawada smiled helplessly, "Can you wait a little longer?"

He is still waiting.

Waiting for Xie Lingling to appear again.

He thought, as long as Xie Lingling reappeared in his eyes for a second, then the five years of lonely waiting would be worth it.

He put the ring that matched Xie Lingling on his finger.He had worn it for five years, and this time on his 27th birthday, he had a whim and took out the ring that Xie Lingling returned to him at that moment.

He stuffed it in his pocket.

Sawada stubbornly believes that as long as he keeps the ring for one day, Xie Lingling will always come back.

Then he went home, he took off his heavy and restrictive clothes, and he went to the bathroom to take a shower.When the scalding hot water was poured on the white and soft skin, Sawada Tsunayoshi's cold and numb heart finally became soft because of the hot dull pain.

At the same time as being gentle and soft, the overwhelming feeling of suffocation came up again.

He shed tears silently in the hot water.In the end, those tears were no longer his grief, but just a past memory stored in his body.

He put on his pajamas mechanically, and wiped the broken hair on the top of his head with a dry towel.

He thought he was 27 years old.

Sawada Tsunayoshi took out a pack of cigarettes from the cabinet, he took out one, and lit it slowly.

He took a sip, pulling the corners of his mouth to make a smile.

He failed.

In the empty and quiet room, Sawada Tsunayoshi didn't even bother to smile.

Then go upstairs.

But he felt extraordinarily different today.The lights on the stairs were faintly on, and Tsunayoshi Sawada walked slowly. Standing at the door of his room, he suddenly smelled a wonderful fragrance.

This is by no means what the perfume smells like.

An unspeakable emotion sprouted in Sawada Tsunayoshi's heart.He raised his hand to the latch to open the door.However, at the moment before opening the door, the complicated sense of fear made his fingers tremble uncontrollably.

No, don't expect it.

After anticipation, there is endless emptiness.

He opened the door with fear.The windows in the room were opened for some reason, the breeze drifted in along the windows, and the olive trees outside the windows rustled.

Suddenly, a strand of white skirt floated to the corner of his eyes.

Five years, one thousand 460 days.In this day and night.

Sawada Tsunayoshi has been waiting.

He thought it was a hallucination, blinked his eyes, and a layer of damp heat suddenly surged up the dry eye circles, he tried to suppress this irritable feeling, but it was in vain.

The girl sat on his desk with an extremely cold face.

She glanced over and saw Tsunayoshi Sawada, with a smile on her lips.

"...Long time no see." Tsunayoshi Sawada didn't know what to say.

After the extreme longing, the greeting when they reunited was so sparse and ordinary.

He lowered his head in bewilderment.

"I'm reading your diary."

Xie Lingling said.

She spread out a notebook in her hand, the white pages were like rustling snow.

The 22-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada loves to write a diary, but the 27-year-old has long since left that habit behind.

Even he himself forgot what he wrote.

"I forgot what I wrote," said Tsunayoshi Sawada.

Xie Lingling's fingers were pressing on one of the pages, on which were densely packed handwriting.

"On one of the pages, you excerpted a poem."

"what?"

"A poem by Shakespeare."

"..." Tsunayoshi Sawada fell silent suddenly.

"You know which song it is, right?"

"Ok, I know."

Xie Lingling suddenly said: "In the past few years, I have seen many of you from many years ago. 19 years old, 20 years old, 22 years old, and now you."

"I'm 27 years old."

"..."

"I've been waiting for you for five years."

Xie Lingling's face was as cold as ice, nothing had changed.

Sawada Tsunayoshi's heart was extremely soft at the moment, he looked at Xie Lingling's face, his eyes became extremely affectionate.

The thoughts in his head took his breath away.

"Are you still going?"

"..."

"Don't talk." Before she could respond, Sawada Tsunayoshi smiled, this time, it was genuine joy.

He said, "I love you."

"No matter where you go, you have to know that I love you."

"I love you more than anyone else."

That day, Xie Lingling went to Italy under the leadership of Prison Temple. The two said a few words, and then made love passionately.

22-year-old Tsunayoshi Sawada wakes up at night.He sat down at the desk and wrote the poem in his notebook.

How can I compare you to summer?

You are not only cuter than it, but also more gentle than it:

The strong wind tramples May's beloved Jiaorui,

The lease term in summer is too short:

The eyes of heaven sometimes shine too hard,

Its shining golden face is often concealed:

Destroyed by chance or impermanent heaven,

There is no fragrance that does not eventually wither or perish.

But your long summer never fades,

I will not lose your beautiful red fragrance,

Or Death boasted that you wandered in its shadow,

When you are as long as poetry in immortal poetry.

As long as there are humans, or humans have eyes,

This poem will live on and give you life.

-Complete-

The author has something to say: Regarding the stalk of writing the poem at the end, the foreshadowing was laid in Chapter 46 of Love and Desire.

It's finally over, didn't you expect it?

hhhh I didn't think of that either, I thought I'd write it longer.

But now I feel that this ending is also very good, I really like it.

There should be extra episodes later, not many.

All in all, thank you for your company and support over the past few months, thank you~

hhhh If you are grateful, let’s put it in the extra episode, so I hope everyone can watch the last extra episode.I will say a few words in what the author has to say.

I wrote a bit sloppy today, and I stayed up late with my gay friend until four o'clock in the morning.

Finally, I would like to thank my friends for providing me with Shakespeare's poems~