[Comprehensive] Did Zhixi watch pretty boys today?

What kind of feeling is it to spend seven years carving a person's appearance in memory?

How many seven years can a person have in his life?

……

Until now, no one knows why Hong Jiaodong broke the glass of the building one afternoon during the summer vacation seven years ago, and rushed out desperately——

If it wasn't because he was "lucky" enough to be rescued by the mountain lady who happened to pass by when he was about to fall, then there would be no such person as Hong Jiaodong in this world.

No one can see her.

It wasn't until he woke up from the hospital, then a teenager, that he realized it: only he could see her that afternoon.Only he saw her clothes fluttering and her long hair flying under the sun, only he received the call, and only he saw her stepping forward without hesitation with a smile on her face.

So they couldn't understand why he lost control, refused to communicate, and in the worst case, suffered from aphasia.

In the first two years, Hong Jiaodong had nightmares almost every night.In the dream, he tried his best to break through the thick glass to get close to her, but he couldn't reach her no matter what. He could only watch helplessly as the girl fell from the roof of the building like a bird with its wings broken, and then disappeared into the air.

Unlike all the others, since that day, Hong Jiaodong stopped looking for her.

"Looking for" means that there is still hope, hope, and the most secret desire in my heart.

But he saw her leave with his own eyes, in such a decisive way.

From then on, he fell into the quagmire of despair. At the age of 15, his life seemed to be cut by an invisible knife. The crack was so deep that when he dreamed back at midnight, he looked at it by the moonlight. They were all bone-deep wounds.

Perhaps the body activated its self-protection mechanism under extreme circumstances. Later, his nightmare condition eased a little, so he started to walk.

From the dormitory building to the library, from the playground to the school gate, and then to the apartment where she lived briefly... For a long time, Hong Jiaodong walked along these roads silently and earnestly, carefully observing the scenery along the way : A corner of the teaching building under the sky, students in twos and threes on the playground, tall and straight trees fluttering in the wind, and wild flowers growing tenaciously in the cracks between bricks and stones...

Has she ever paid attention to these details.

What was she thinking while walking on these roads?

How different is the world in her eyes from the world in his eyes?

For a long time he walked and thought.

As if he had more of her like this, as if she was still by his side, as long as he shouted, he would turn around and show a faint smile.

Everything about Zhixi, to Hong Jiaodong, was like a withdrawal reaction: whenever he thought he was slowly letting go, they would rush back like a gust of wind on the wasteland carrying sand and rocks, sporadic A few words, strawberry milk in a convenience store, even a glimpse of coffee on the street corner...

Either way, he could fall into the abyss again.

From the third year onwards, every Hero Science student in his class began to work in line with the work of the Hero Office. Everyone spent less and less time in school, and it seemed that everyone was pushing hard to move forward. , people are eager to become better and stronger, to become what they want.Looking at their appearance, the boy couldn't help worrying: If she came back one day, would she be disappointed when she saw how she fell into the dust?At that time he thought.

Started to worry again: the world is so big, will she not find herself?

Relying on self-deceiving worries, Hong Jiaodong began to recover—the speed of recovery made even Andeva feel unbelievable, although this father who failed in caring for his son's psychological growth did not know from the beginning to the end that during the previous period , what exactly happened.

But in short, cheering up is a good thing.

The boy began to grow and become stronger at an astonishing speed—he was already good enough, but his subsequent growth still made everyone around him look sideways.

But no, no one has ever asked him what was the driving force for him to work so hard.

If someone asks this question, then he will see this restrained and dazzling young man in front of him—no, it should be a young man at that time, or the subtle dividing point between a young man and a young man—and say: "If I If she doesn't stand high enough, if she comes back one day and can't find me, I will be very sad."

In the next two years, everything seemed to be slowly getting better. Among the graduates of that class, there were still a few people who were as outstanding as Hong Jiaodong. There is more and more attention, and gradually, it has become the primary force representing the "new generation" in the eyes of everyone.

Hong Jiaodong still dreams from time to time, but it is no longer a nightmare.In the dream, there was a sky full of stars that traveled through billions of light years to reach him. He stretched out his hand, and the stars fell down, shining brightly, and then turned into her appearance.

At that time, the girl was wearing a soft gauze skirt, the skirt fluttered slightly, she grabbed his fingertips, with a sly smile on her lips, and said, "I'm back."

When he wakes up, his pillowcase is always damp.

The next transformation occurred in the sixth year.

At that time, he was 21 years old and had just finished the third "seven years" of his life.

All kinds of girls began to appear around him, some were gentle and dignified, some were smart and flying. They loved life and worked hard to move forward. They were "good girls" in everyone's eyes and would turn into beautiful girls on weekends Zhuang wears exquisite clothes and laughs on the street, and can manage everything in life meticulously and properly in every ordinary day. They know how to measure, know how to advance and retreat, and they shine in their respective fields.

They all like him.

After rejecting the third girl's request for dating, Hong Jiaodong found out the old cell phone he used in high school—the cell phone he hadn't used since that day.He should be thankful that after such a long time, its parts have not been damaged too much.

Then he clicked on the photo album that only saved one picture.

It was evening at that time, and the dim yellow light came in from the window glass on one side, which could vaguely illuminate the fine dust in the air, his fingers trembled, and his breathing was short of breath—how long has it been?Since when has he never seen her again?

The young man thought that he would feel unfamiliar with the person in the photo—you must know that after such a long period of time, he deliberately forgot a person, and when he remembered it again, it always felt delicate.

But no.

He looked at the girl in the photo whose eyes were slightly wide open due to surprise, and felt that the sockets of her eyes were hot and hot. He fixedly stared at her face, motionless, afraid that some kind of salty and scorching liquid would come out of him in the next moment. Eye sockets slipped.

Hong Jiaodong is not unfamiliar at all.

He looked at this photo, their only chapter photo together—it couldn't even be called a "photo"—and it didn't feel strange to him at all.

It turns out that there is a feeling that has already melted into the blood and carved into the bone marrow, accompanied by every breath and heartbeat.

He transferred that photo to his current mobile phone and set it as the desktop again.Later, every time a girl took the opportunity to get closer to him, Hu would let her see his phone intentionally or unintentionally.

"We met in high school."

"We're not together."

"She has gone far away, and I am waiting for her to come back."

"...Because I like her very much."

Because he was waiting for her to come back.

But... Will she come back?

"The girl today looks a bit like you when she smiles. I almost couldn't help it, and I agreed."

"...the one who lied to you, they are not you, I will not agree."

"But when are you coming back?"

Looking at the photo on the phone, a faint smile appeared in his eyes.

……

That's when he stopped a criminal on the street and saved the panicked kid, as he had done countless times in the past.

At that time, the little girl was holding the dusty rabbit doll with one hand, and holding him with the other, and whispered in his ear, "...she told Yangcai just now, don't be afraid."

The high walls that had been whitewashed layer by layer over six years were smashed into pieces in an instant. The sun was hot and red, and the night sky was full of stars. look--

Everything is just a moment.

Six years flew by like a passing cloud, and he fell back into the nightmare he had once again. The scene in front of him stretched and switched rapidly. When he saw her standing on the ring of the sports festival, he was astonished and angrily said: "Jiao Dong, how dare you treat me like this?" With such a heavy hand?!"

The sound is still in my ears.

Those things about growth, abandonment, and self-deception that are still unforgettable are so fresh, bright, and shining, and they look like they have not been eroded by the years.

At that time, Hong Jiaodong understood that what he thought of as "letting go" and "being strong" were all just illusions.

The needle that was buried in the softest part of her heart many years ago, the end that passed through the needle thread, had always been held in her hand.

Just a few words can make him lose his armor and make him crumble.

……

The black-haired girl had already fallen asleep, her body curled up slightly under the quilt, and a shallow gully formed between her brows.

[Alice], it was her personality, he remembered, the ability to create illusions.

Is everything in front of me just an illusion?He gently took her hand that was outside the quilt, not daring to use any more strength, as if he was afraid that something would be broken, and then he gathered it into the quilt.

For so many moments, he wanted to create a fantasy for himself, a fantasy with her.

just now……

[Just now, I don't intend to break free from this illusion. ]

Hong Jiao Dong stared at the person on the bed intently, as if he wanted to carve her into his own eyes.The indifferent and distant eyes were ignited, and the light and heat pierced the heart and his dusty soul. He heard his own heartbeat, beating like a drum, hitting his chest.

He died the first year.

In the second year, I still haven't survived.

The third year became The Walking Dead, until the fourth and fifth years.

In the sixth year, new shoots came out and stars swayed gently on the tips. Someone stole it and hid it in the bottom of the sea. He couldn't reach it with his hands.

In the seventh year, the fire had just been extinguished, the thunderstorm was about to fall, and the scorching sun disappeared... He finally waited for the starlight in his dream.