Dream, Cherry and Emerald Traveler

——If you and I see the same world, then we should be friends, right?

I always remember the words of Kakyoin.

Regarding the story of me and Kakyoin, it doesn’t feel inconsistent to use the description of “after failing to make friends, make persistent efforts and become more frustrated and courageous”.

When I was young, I really wanted to be his friend and play with him, but because I couldn't really see his green emperor, I was excluded from his inner world after all.

For so many years, he almost never took the initiative to tell me what was on his mind and thoughts.

The world I see in his eyes is different from that of him, which is the root cause of my inability to open his heart.

Kakyoin is a very special boy.

Completely different from other naughty elementary school students of the same age who go to the house and climb trees to cause trouble, he is introverted, quiet and lonely.Like a little prince standing alone outside the world, observing the world through a mirror.

Talk to him, ask him questions, and he'll answer you politely.But I never take the initiative to chat with people, nor play with other children.Only I took advantage of being close to home and could go to and from school with him.

After school, the rich boy in the class showed off that he had bought a new game, and invited a bunch of classmates to play at home. Only Kakyoin had no special expression, and refused unmoved.

A little boy from the same neighborhood summoned up his courage and asked him warmly and kindly to catch unicorns, but he politely refused.

I forgot which comic book I saw the line from—a lonely person will not hurt others, but will only hurt himself constantly.

This line, together with the figure of Kakyoin alone, is deeply engraved in my heart, always aching.

After class, those clear glass-like pupils always look out of the window.Whenever this happens, I can't help but guess what he is looking at.

Maybe it's looking at the blue sky, maybe it's looking at the ball net blown up by the wind on the playground.

Ever since I found out that he has a "partner" that no one else can see, I have been full of curiosity about him.Looking back now, I still feel that I was a bit stupid at that time, and I couldn't get tired of guessing his mind.

Perhaps curiosity is the beginning, after observing for a long time, that kind of curiosity gradually becomes a habit and obsession.Unknowingly, she kept staring at him, unable to look away.

His eyes are beautiful, especially when they are smudged with warm colors by the evening sun, as if they were covered with a hazy mist.

He is smart, so his grades are very good, and he is usually serious in class, but once or twice he will suffer from lack of sleep due to indulging in his favorite games. , falling on the buccal side.

In fact, after getting acquainted with him, you will find that loneliness and melancholy are just his outer shell, and the inside is the deepest tenderness and delicateness.The evidence is that he is warm and considerate to his family, and he is not impatient with my persistent "entanglement". Instead, he began to care about my life like taking care of his sister.

Kakyoin rarely smiles, but occasionally she smiles very sweetly and cutely.

His real character is actually black-bellied and mischievous, with a "bad" side unique to boys.

He likes to eat cherries, and can even eat cherries in tricks.When he saw the string of "rero" for the first time, he was a little embarrassed when I was dumbfounded, but then he seemed to let himself go, and asked me if I wanted to learn it.

He is also a little smug, very concerned about his own image.The uniform he wears is clean, his hair is combed neatly, and sometimes he straightens his wind-blown bangs in front of his own reflection on the window glass.

I still remember that at that time, there was a boy in the class who was rejected because of the invitation. He felt embarrassed, felt that he was arrogant and looked down upon others, and deliberately asked him to trouble him to teach him a lesson.

The result is of course asking for trouble. Even without the help of the Green Emperor, Kakyoin can fight back with an eye for an eye, without even leaving any clues that can be caught by teachers or parents.I don't know what he did specifically. In short, those boys seemed to have encountered something terrible, and they started to walk around him since then, obviously leaving a psychological shadow.

…………

After entering junior high school, his stature began to grow rapidly.It seems that in the blink of an eye, it has grown from about the same height as me to a head taller than me.

Probably girls are always precocious.The first time I realized that something had changed was in the summer of the second year of middle school.

"Ah, damn it, why did you lose again, obviously this is my best game..."

I stared at the villain with a face made of cubes and the little football on the screen, and I almost threw the handle away in anger.

Probably because my swollen face was too funny, Kakyoin on the side propped his face and smiled rarely.The summer sun smudged his hair through the window, forming circles and gradients.

I was a little annoyed by his laugh, and in order to avenge my hatred, I raised my hand and ruffled his hair.It caused his whole head to be hairy, and some strands were still curled up.

Because he was at home on vacation, he didn't wear a uniform, but a casual attire at home.Coupled with the freshly baked hairstyle, it completely lost its usual elegance and added a bit of rare cuteness and childishness.

Looking at it, I became a little dazed, and my heart felt a little bad.But the culprit didn't notice it, and leaned towards me.

"Actually, it wasn't difficult to defend the ball just now." He reached for the handle on my side, as if he wanted to guide me.But before I could let go of my hand, his slender fingers covered it, so his agile operation was wasted. The sound of breathing became clear.

I tried my best to look away, panicked, and my cheeks were hot, but I said in my mouth: "Mr. Kakyoin, you are really good, tell me, have you played this game many times in advance?"

Although our team scored a goal on the screen, there was not much time left, and the score was 5:2. It was the result of him deliberately letting me score a goal-losing without any suspense.

It was his smiling eyes that answered me, and the curvature of his lips was refreshing.

At this time, the usual calmness, rationality, coldness and melancholy disappeared, and there was only a young man who was purely elated because of his victory.

"Okay, I'm going to buy ice cream here, what flavor do you want?" Before he could answer, I said to myself, "Okay, cherry flavor, I know."

"Wait, honeydew melon tastes better, and I want to try other flavors occasionally."

I glanced at him, and tried to struggle: "Speaking of which, the color of honeydew melon is the same as that of your emperor, won't there be any obstacles when eating it?"

I asked him to draw his Green Emperor before, so I still remember the bright green color.

Kakyoin probably thought it was a little funny.He raised his hand, rubbed the top of my head condescendingly, and replied calmly, "No."

The weight coming from the top of my head is very light, but it makes me unable to resist.I raised my eyes and glanced at him quietly, then quickly looked away as if I had been burned.

...............

I still have many, many memories of him.As long as I think about it, countless pictures will come to my eyes.

The significance of Kakyoin to me has long been beyond what I can summarize.I don't know when I fell in love with him.Maybe I liked it from the beginning, but the weight and nature of that love are constantly changing.

And this liking, unconsciously, became deeper and deeper as time went by.Until one day, I saw him reaching out to help a girl who had tripped over in the corridor. The blush on his face when he thanked her and the familiar look on his face made me dazed for a whole day.

I thought, is that the way I look at Kakyoin every day?

Say good morning to him every day.

When I saw his Adam's apple rolled when he drank water in physical education class.

When I was taking pre-exam tutoring together, just before falling asleep, he poked my waist suddenly, and I shrank in shock, let out a strange cry, and then looked up to see him smiling.

I like Kakyoin, so when I look at him, I must have the same eyes as that girl.

So obvious, so undisguised.But he seems to have never changed his attitude towards me, just because he is too familiar and closer than before.

Feelings of sourness, sadness, and irritability were tangled in his chest like a mess, and he became absent-minded even in class.

I couldn't fall asleep at night, so I finally couldn't help getting up and walking to the balcony.Looking in the direction of his room, he folded himself into a ball with his arms folded.

It was also summer that day, and the moon was so white that it reminded me of the first time I saw Kakyoin in the park, and how he looked when he went out to search for a long time because he was worried, and finally found me who was lost by hide-and-seek.The refreshing and clean expression and the gentle and comforting gaze made me feel comfortable and at ease.

However, I clearly know that my feelings for him are different from his feelings for me.

I understand that I may also be special to him, because only I know that he has a "partner" that no one else can see.But that specialness wasn't enough to make him open up to me.

I was stupid, didn't know what I had to do to get him to reciprocate my feelings, and was afraid of breaking the bond I had built so hard.

Compared to losing him, I'd rather maintain the relationship of childhood tameness in the fuzzy boundaries, and it's better than broken expectations.

In the long night, I wrote his name on the window with my fingers, over and over again, as if this would relieve the love and suffering in my heart, without realizing that my fingers were frozen hard.

On the day of the junior high school graduation ceremony, I imitated my seniors and secretly took the buttons on his uniform, put them in a small box with other "treasures" I collected, and locked them in a drawer.

I don't know whether to be thankful or sad, but he didn't pay much attention when he found out.

I know that one day I will be unable to suppress this growing feeling and confess to him.But until that day comes, I can only endure it desperately, maintaining the same way of getting along in the past.