[HP] Can you be gentle with me

The woman stared at the boss.

Snape wasn't blind, he could see the horror in her eyes—

He was so confused by something that he would be so impulsive and reckless!Merlin... he shouldn't have done this - damn it!

"Tahlia──" he said, and found that his voice was slightly hoarse, and cursed himself again.

no respond.

Tahlia was leaning against the wall, shaking...so violently that she could barely stand.

Snape wanted to slap himself hard, but he didn't need to think much about why Tahlia was reacting this way, so he softened his voice and spoke again. "……Feel sorry."

Tahlia's body froze for a moment, and then trembled more violently. The tears that had just been wiped away gushed out again, but this time they didn't stay in the eye sockets, and they fell down her cheeks one by one as if she was looking for a channel for catharsis.

"I..." She said tremblingly, but her voice fell silent immediately.

She never forgot.

These memories that always appear in her nightmares over and over again, she has never been able to forget.

Even if she knew exactly where she was now, there was nothing she could do to stop her body from reacting to past hurts—she was afraid.After the unexplainable gentleness, the violent coercion that followed was even more bewildering and still viciously hit her in her mind...

In any case, she was indeed afraid of the man standing in front of him.She had no way of knowing whether this person would drag her back to the hell she had escaped so hard in the next second.

"I...let me leave..." She tried a few times, and finally succeeded in making a sound, although the fear in her voice could not be suppressed even by herself. "May I?"

Snape immediately backed away obediently, making no gestures that might provoke Tahlia again, which was obviously the wise choice.

Tahlia's body was still trembling, and she even staggered when she walked, as if she was completely lost. Snape didn't follow immediately, but deliberately kept some distance from her, but then he saw the situation ahead After that, I couldn't care about the episode just now, and took a few big strides forward quickly.

"Tahlia!" He yanked Tahlia past him, preventing her from stepping on the air and suddenly moving to the side stairs, but this move was too unexpected, and the result was that the woman who was already in a state of trance lost her center of gravity and fell down. In a second, the whole person fell on top of Snape, and Snape happened to be in the situation of pulling him back forcefully. Under the influence of both forces, he couldn't stand still, and fell directly backward on the floor of the corridor.

Damn.

Protests came from his back due to the heavy intimate contact with the floor, but he gritted his teeth and ignored the pain that rushed into his mind at that moment, and unconsciously wrapped his arms around Tahlia, but immediately realized why he relaxed his strength──

Curse on those crappy stairs!

This situation will definitely make Tahlia more afraid──

"You──" He blurted out, but the words that followed were all swallowed by him forcefully.

Tahlia didn't move at all.

After they fell to the ground, she was just lying on top of Snape, completely unresponsive, just lying on her stomach... Considering what he had done before, she should have moved away from herself violently.

Tahlia is still not in the right shape...

Snape didn't dare to make any moves, fearing that his inadvertent actions would trigger the deep fear in the woman's heart again.He could see the black hair in front of him, but he couldn't see the expression on Tahlia's face now.

The corridor was silent, Snape could almost hear the sound of his heart beating in his chest, and under the influence of Tahlia's apparently ambiguous movements with himself, the heartbeat was accelerating so violently that he didn't notice it, and now he was forced to It can be said that the woman who was holding her no longer trembled from fear.

Snape took several deep breaths, forcing himself to be still, telling himself not to pay attention to the smell of woodwork mixed with a little sweat wafting from Tahlia's body into his nostrils.

"Sorry..." After a long time, Tahlia's voice reached Snape's ears softly, and then she slowly pushed herself up and backed away, stood up, thought for a while, and stretched out a hand towards Snape soundlessly. hand. "I'm so confident."

Snape froze for a few seconds, and when he realized, he had already held her hand, stood up with strength, and patted the robe on his body. "No... those stairs are inherently unpredictable."

Tahlia looked up. "Severus, I don't like people making excuses for me. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong." She said calmly. "...It seems that I am not suitable for walking alone in the castle now──I wonder if I can trouble you to take me to my office?" She paused for a moment, and then added another sentence. "Please?"

How could there be a problem.

Snape wanted to say that directly, but it would probably make Tahlia even more wary, thinking, he sighed softly without letting the other party notice, and reached out to grab an arm of the woman in front of him. "Until you get acquainted with the castle, I will be responsible for guiding you." He whispered, and then slowly continued walking forward while holding onto Tahlia.

Along the way, Snape couldn't stop the thoughts racing through his mind. The way to Tahlia's old office was not short, but it was not long, and they were standing in front of that door before long.

Snape opened the door first, letting Tahlia in before he followed.

Tahlia groped forward slowly, seeming to be familiar with this former residence. During the process, Snape always maintained the same posture, standing quietly in front of the door.

"You haven't touched here." After a long time, Tahlia said, it was an affirmative sentence.

"What Dumbledore meant," Snape said. "Strictly speaking you never formally resigned from him—"

"Then I'm obviously the most absent faculty member ever." Tahlia pulled out a book, even though she didn't mean to open it, but handed it out. Snape thought for a moment, then stepped forward to take it . "...what's the title of the book?" she asked.

Snape took a look. "The Rise and Fall of Dark Arts in the 17th Century."

"Oh..." Tahlia responded. "Then you take it."

"Ok?"

"I don't need it anymore." Tahlia said calmly. "It should be said... I don't need these anymore, you can take them all." As he said, he nodded his chin towards the bookcase standing on a large wall in front of him. "Unfortunately, I couldn't read all of them—"

Snape pursed his lips and didn't reply.

"...Actually, I really didn't think I'd come back." Tahlia continued on her own, not paying attention to Snape's reaction at all. "Totally out of my plan..."

Snape still didn't reply.

"Aren't you going to ask me what my original plan was?" Tahlia turned around suddenly, looking at Snape. "If you asked, I might be able to tell you—"

"Tahlia, that's enough."

"...I'm serious, Severus, if you ask me... I might actually tell you—"

"I said, enough." Snape grabbed Tahlia's arm.

Tahlia closed her mouth, moved slightly to shake off Snape's hand, lowered her head slowly, and spoke weakly for a while. "……I'm really tired."

"You do deserve a good rest," Snape said quietly, and with a wave of his wand, the door to the bedroom opened.Gently pushed Tahlia towards the bedroom before asking. "Where's your luggage?"

Tahlia froze for a few seconds before answering. "...I didn't bring anything with me."

"You just came back without preparing anything?" Snape closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, they tightly locked on the haggard face of the woman in front of him, and sighed.

Tahlia lowered her head and said nothing.

"Clothing? Utensils?" Snape asked, but Tahlia just kept shaking her head.

"It's not a big deal...I believe my original clothes are still in my room." She lowered her eyes and said softly. "Since you said Albus kept this place, then the things I put here in the past should still be where they should be."

A brief silence.

After a moment, Snape reached into his robes and pulled out a white bag. "hand."

Tahlia froze for a few seconds, obviously not reacting. "What?"

Sighing again, Snape didn't repeat what he said just now, he grabbed the woman's hand and stuffed the white bag into her hand. "I believe this thing belongs to you."

"You..." Tahlia fumbled for the bag in her hand. "Where did you get it?"

"The drawers in your room," Snape said quietly. "Apparently you just remembered to take the wand."

Tahlia turned her face away, then slowly lowered her head, kneading the soft bag. "I forgot."

"I think you should understand."

"... understand what?"

Snape raised his hand, hesitating for a moment before covering Tahlia's hand holding her interspatial bag. "Like I said before, sadness should not be faced with depression, one day you will not be able to bear it──"

"Then wait until the day you really can't take it anymore." Tahlia interrupted Snape stiffly. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to take me back to that place at that time..." She said, breaking away from Snape's hand. "But you can rest assured, even if you want me to go back now... I can't do anything—" At that time, she was too confused to act impulsively.

Now she simply doesn't have the courage to go back to that place.

Although the bloodstains have probably been cleaned up by those late Aurors, the smell of blood in the air still seems to be entangled with her, and it can't be eliminated for a long time, and what did she think before... She asked Snape to take her back anyway that place?

"But you're right, it's time for me to rest." She lowered her face and said coldly. "Good night."

Snape sighed, reached out and gently brushed Tahlia's messy hair out of order, ordering himself to ignore her stiffening body again, hesitated for a while, and finally made a decision, even if it might scare her again.He leaned down slightly, kissed her lightly on the forehead, and spoke in a low voice. "Good night." After saying that, he quickly turned around and walked away.

"Severus."

The moment he was about to step out of the door, a small voice came into his ears, Snape stopped, turned his head slowly, and felt that his heart began to beat irregularly again.

"Whatever you were going to do—whatever you said you were going to...don't go on."

Tahlia stood expressionless, the light there was dim, but it didn't prevent Snape from seeing his expression clearly, and the words floated into his ears flatly and without a trace of emotion.

Snape stared silently at the woman in front of him for a while, without saying a word, turned around and walked out, closing the door behind him.

The answer is no.

No matter what, he won't let go.

In the office, Tahlia was silent, her fists clenched tightly to keep them from shaking involuntarily.

She didn't know if Snape heard her last words, she just knew that she was not right now──

Snape was right, she couldn't keep herself from being affected by Derek's death, it even made her lose her mind, thinking only of dying with him-

If Nigel found out, he would be sad again, wouldn't he?

Smiling ironically, Tahlia went straight into the bedroom, and opened the door of the closet from memory. It seemed that the house elves cleaned them regularly. Come.Stretching out her hand to touch it, she was satisfied to find that the clothes she had put in it in the past were still in place.

All the cells in her body are clamoring for her to lie down on the bed and get a good night's sleep. There may be many troubles waiting for her tomorrow, but she can't do that yet...

She clearly knew that if she didn't wash off the bloody smell that was covering her body now, she would not be able to sleep peacefully anyway, even if she was not even wearing the blood-stained Muggle suit now.

But when she stood in front of the bathroom door, she hesitated.

For some reason, Tahlia suddenly felt that if she just washed off the blood and lay on the bed, she would never miss Derek again──she didn't even know where her inexplicable thoughts came from...

Derek was really nice to her, and she really liked him... She didn't want to put his death behind her so easily—

She likes him, she's really sure about it!She likes him!Otherwise, she would never have agreed to Derek's proposal──

she likes……

Before she knew it, her knees touched the ground, and her hands were propped in front of her, suppressing her grief──

Did Snape think he would?

How could she choose to swallow the pain instead of driving it out of her head if she could?

he died……

She had told Nigel earlier that death meant never seeing him again.

And he died.

died……

can't see...

Maybe this is the curse...

to his repressed sorrow—

"Derek..."

Repressed.

There was complete darkness in front of Tahlia's eyes, and the man's name was whispered in her mouth, but his face could not be seen in her mind, she couldn't even think of his face to miss him──

Ironically, another man's face was vividly occupying her thoughts, standing at the door of her office, handing out the locket.

damn...

Tahlia shook her head vigorously, driving the figure out of her head completely, replacing it with a blond man who seemed to be covered in a fog, stood up again, staggered into the bathroom, and waited until she dried her hair It was already half an hour later when I fell on the bed.

"You are all the same." She curled up on the bed, letting the quilt cover her whole body, ignoring the suffocating discomfort caused by being covered.The right hand unconsciously rubbed the ring on the left finger. "Every... is the same... It's too much──"

Everyone abandoned her, leaving her alone...

Drowsiness hit, Tahlia closed her eyes in a daze.

Always... leave her behind──