Do not lie to me

Later, when Shang Xuechen went to see a doctor again, Ji Shuping had to accompany him no matter what he said.

"Okay, okay. I understand, it won't be like this in the future. You don't have to follow me every time." Shang Xuechen said impatiently after putting on his seat belt.

"No!" Ji Shuping was not to be outdone, "I can't let you go like this anymore."

Shang Xuechen sank into the seat and urged Ji Shuping to turn on the heater in the car, pulled his clothes to wrap himself tightly and said, "It's getting cold so fast."

Ji Shuping stretched out his hand towards the air outlet, checked the temperature and then checked Shang Xuechen's seat belt.

"I'm not a child, do I want you to be so nervous?"

Hearing what he said, Ji Shuping sighed, raised his hand to pull his collar and said, "Yang Lian said that if you want to get better, you must create a good environment for you. But..."

Shang Xuechen's eyelashes trembled, and his eyes just fell on Ji Shuping's hand on his collar. He picked up Ji Shuping's words and said, "But, I didn't let myself go."

"Why exactly? You go to see Zhou Yuan again and again? It's because..." Ji Shuping swallowed, and even found it difficult to say the name, but he said it anyway, because Ji Shuping was afraid, afraid that he wouldn't understand Shang Xuechen asked, "Is it because of Qi Liang?"

"There are many reasons." Shang Xuechen raised his head and let out a breath against the window glass, then stretched out his hand to wipe away the fog on the glass, and looked at the scenery on the street outside, "There are reasons for Qi Liang, reasons for Wen Ting, and me. Damn reason. More importantly..."

"What's more important?" Ji Shuping asked him anxiously.

Shang Xuechen looked up at the sky outside the window, and couldn't help but wonder when will it snow this year?

"What's more, I don't want you to bear these burdens with me. You have done enough by giving up Ji."

"Do you still mind that I don't allow Qi Liang to come to you?" Ji Shuping still asked this question. Since they decided to live a stable life, Ji Shuping has never dared to mention Qi Liang to him again. thing.He thought that Shang Xuechen forgave him and let go, but unfortunately it was not like that, Shang Xuechen just didn't say anything.

"Nothing." Shang Xuechen replied perfunctorily, "Let's go. Otherwise, we will be late, and Yang Lian's billing time is very valuable."

He didn't want to say it, and Ji Shuping couldn't ask, so he put down the handbrake, stepped on the accelerator and drove out of the car.The two had nothing to say all the way, each with their own thoughts.Ji Shuping drove the car in silence, while Shang Xuechen lazily leaned on the back of the car and only watched the trees on the street passing by quickly.

When they arrived at Yang Lian's place, Ji Shuping stood in the reception room outside and watched Shang Xuechen push the door into Yang Lian's office.He can only accompany Shang Xuechen here, and outsiders are not allowed in the treatment.

As soon as Shang Xuechen opened the door and came in, he greeted Yang Lian casually as usual, "Hey, Zai Zai." After speaking, he lay down on the sofa familiarly.

Yang Lian dug out Shang Xuechen's diagnosis and treatment records, got up from behind the desk, walked around the table and walked in front of Shang Xuechen, "Can you stop calling me by my nickname. I don't know you that well." As Yang Lian said, he sat down on the sofa on the other side, just sitting opposite to Shang Xuechen. He tapped the coffee table with a pen, "Get up."

Shang Xuechen was still lying down, but tilted his head to look at Yang Lian, "No, I'll just lie down like this. I don't feel so much resistance to treatment when I call you by your nickname."

"Excuse!" Yang Lian rolled his eyes at him, turned over a page of records and asked him, "How is it that you quit drinking recently?"

"It's okay." Shang Xuechen lay down and just looked at the ceiling, "As you said, don't quit all at once, and get rid of alcohol dependence little by little. Recently, I don't have the strong desire for alcohol as before."

"Then..." Yang Lian took a pen and ticked the item of quitting alcohol, "After quitting alcohol, has your sleep been affected?"

Shang Xuechen looked at the ceiling for a while before answering, "No."

Yang Lian took a pen to click some records, and then asked, "Did you take the medicine on time?"

Shang Xuechen answered simply this time, "Yes."

"Will there still be anxiety?"

"No."

The room fell silent, and Yang Lian stopped pointing the pen suddenly, "Then why are you lying?"

Shang Xuechen was stunned, turned over and sat up on the sofa, "I really can't hide it from you."

Yang Lian looked at him and asked, "Are you really anxious?"

Shang Xuechen sighed and nodded.

"I heard from Ji Shuping that you always go to see Zhou Yuan recently. Why?"

Shang Xuechen looked down at the glass of water on the coffee table, "You don't even understand."

"How can you know if I understand or not if you haven't said anything?"

Shang Xuechen's hand loosened and tightened, and finally he only said, "Because I love him very much."

Yang Lian frowned, the "he" in this sentence refers to Ji Shuping, Yang Lian understood, but what does this have to do with Ji Shuping?

Shang Xuechen raised his head and smiled at Yang Lian, "I told you that you don't understand." Then he stood up, "Okay, that's it for today."

Yang Lian immediately stood up and stopped him, "Whether you understand or not is another matter. But you have to understand that what you need to learn now is to confide, and learn to resolve your anxiety by yourself. It's not that you just give up communicating and giving up if someone doesn't understand." communication. If this continues, your illness will not get better!"

Shang Xuechen looked at Yang Lian, and when he raised his head, he heard Yang Lian say, "You know he is waiting outside, so you should also know that he will always guard you. Didn't you make up your mind before receiving treatment?" Is it? The determination to live a normal life with him."

Shang Xuechen sighed and sat back down again.Yang Lian heaved a sigh of relief, turned around and sat back, planning to start over.

"I love him very much. Because I love him so much, I panic. There is only me and him in my life now. It's a bit monotonous but it's really happy. This happiness comes too fast and too big, and I'm a little overwhelmed." Shang Xuechen He smiled, turned his head to look at Yang Lian and said, "You know people with my disease are easy to be pessimistic. Besides, I have lived a life of ups and downs since I was a child. I have never lived a stable and ordinary life like now, so I am afraid instead. I'm afraid that something will happen to me suddenly one day, and then I really can't stand it."

"It seems that your life was really hard when you were young. So now you are still trembling in the face of happiness."

Shang Xuechen forced a smile, and heaved a sigh of relief when he thought of the days when he was struggling to make a living, "Actually, it wasn't very bitter, but I experienced it once, and I lost everything overnight. Relatives, money, everything there is none left."

"That's why you can easily feel insecure."

"It should be."

"Then after seeing Zhou Yuan, have you become more at ease?"

Shang Xuechen shook his head, "No. After seeing her, I felt even more uneasy. Because I found that I seemed to be gradually forgetting Qi Liang, and I clearly wanted to remember him well. Qi Liang is actually very afraid of being forget."

"So this is actually a vicious circle. You are afraid of forgetting Qi Liang, but you dare not mention it to Ji Shuping, and because Qi Liang feels guilty, so you go to see Zhou Yuan again and again to remind yourself not to forget Qi Liang. But every time you see Zhou Yuan , the more you find that you really seem to have forgotten Qi Liang. Besides..." Yang Lian paused, Shang Xuechen looked up at him, waiting for his next words.

Yang Lian tapped and tapped the pen, finally put down the pen and closed the record, "As you said at the beginning, you love him very much. You love him, but you don't want him to bear your negative emotions. You actually put Zhou Yuan has become your venting point. Listen, the so-called communication between people is to family members, friends, and lovers. You can tell your anxieties to those close to you to get comfort .This will not make the distance between you far. On the contrary, if you take the person you hate as a point of release for your emotions, then your emotions will only get worse." Yang Lian looked up at the clock on the wall, Get up from the couch, "It's almost time. You're doing a great job of quitting alcohol. I think our next phase is for you to learn to talk about your anxieties with people close to you, instead of being afraid that your anxieties will push your lover away." Far. Come on little by little, and when you learn to confide, then you will be able to gradually release your dependence on drugs."

Shang Xuechen lowered his head, "You are really billing on time. Can't we talk about ten yuan even if we know each other?"

"Then I'll send you another message." Yang Lian had already sat back on his office chair, "You love him very much, and he loves you very much. You can tell him these things."

Shang Xuechen sat silently on the sofa for a while, Yang Lian didn't urge him and just sorted out his documents.After a while, Shang Xuechen finally got up, seeing that he had no intention of saying goodbye to Yang Lian, he just walked towards the door in silence, when he got to the door, he suddenly turned around and asked Yang Lian, "Can you hypnotize? "

Yang Lian stopped his hands on the keyboard, and re-discovered Shang Xuechen's medical records, "So you have insomnia recently?"

"No, I can sleep well. I just want to ask you, can you hypnotize people? Just like on TV, let the hypnotized people only follow your instructions."

"Yes. But it's not as mysterious as you think. As a treatment method, it is occasionally used in the treatment of patients' cognition. Most of them are used in patients with severe insomnia to help them fall asleep better."

Shang Xuechen bit his lip, turned his head and closed the door and left.Yang Lian was startled by the sound of his closing the door, shook his head and said, "I really don't think of this as a living place anymore, and I don't even say hello."

Seeing Shang Xuechen coming out, Ji Shuping immediately sat up from the sofa facing the door. He walked up to Shang Xuechen, and originally wanted to reach out to stroke his hair, but stopped as soon as he stretched out his hand, he was a little uncertain I'm not sure how Shang Xuechen feels.Shang Xuechen looked at Ji Shuping's hand stretched out towards him, then looked up at Ji Shuping again, recalling Yang Lian's words several times in his mind.

This person in front of me, this person who is worried about himself is my lover.

Thinking this way, Shang Xuechen reached out and grabbed Ji Shuping's hand that had stopped in mid-air.He looked at Ji Shuping's face carefully, and blamed himself for worrying him too much, so that Ji Shuping, who was originally decisive, became too worried even when he stretched out his hand.Shang Xuechen stepped forward, leaned his head on his shoulder and said, "I'm sorry."

Ji Shuping reached out and touched his head, "There's nothing to be sorry about. You don't need to say sorry to me."

Shang Xuechen smiled. He opened his mouth and planned to have a serious talk with Ji Shuping, but his throat suddenly choked when he spoke.Shang Xuechen swallowed, it was really as easy as he thought, in the end it was Ji Shuping who spoke first, "Let's go back first."

"En." Shang Xuechen closed his eyes and nodded.

"Don't worry." Ji Shuping stroked his hair and said softly, "I've made plans to be with you for the rest of my life, so don't worry."

"En!" Shang Xuechen hugged Ji Shuping tightly before letting go, he raised his head and said to Ji Shuping with a smile, "Then let's go back first."

On the way back, Shang Xuechen looked at the gray sky outside and asked Ji Shuping, "I don't know when it will snow this year."

"I'm so afraid of snow." Ji Shuping turned the steering wheel with a self-deprecating smile, "You're like the snow boy in the fairy tale you told me two days ago, bringing comfort to others but disappearing suddenly. Where did you find that fairy tale?"

Shang Xuechen smiled along with Ji Shuping, Ji Shuping would warm him a cup of milk before going to bed, and he would read fairy tales to Ji Shuping when he had nothing to do.Shang Xuechen propped his chin and turned his head to look at Ji Shuping, "It turns out that fairy tales don't all have happy endings."

"Yeah." Ji Shuping stepped on the brakes and waited for the traffic light. He would reach out to hold Shang Xuechen's hand in just a moment, "Fairy tales are obviously cuter than life, but they still have some unsatisfactory places. In the past, I A little greedy, now I can't."

"How to say?"

Ji Shuping rubbed the back of Shang Xuechen's hand with his thumb, "As long as you are by my side, no matter what you do, I will accompany you. So if there is a little problem in the future, I won't mind. I will still be there, when you turn around where you can see it.”

Shang Xuechen stared at Ji Shuping intently, he understood what Ji Shuping was referring to in terms of future minor problems, but because of his own illness, he asked Ji Shuping, "You reiterated to me over and over again, in order to let me Are you at ease?"

"Yes, I will confirm with you over and over again, and promise you. I will say it until the end of this life, even if you are annoying, I will still say it over and over again."

Shang Xuechen smiled and turned his head to look at the traffic light in front of him, "If it wasn't about to turn green, I really want to kiss you hard."

"No, if it's not like that, just come if you think about it." Ji Shuping stretched his neck to go, Shang Xuechen pushed his head and turned his head and pointed to the back, "Didn't you hear the horn from behind?"

Ji Shuping was a little regretful that he missed the opportunity, and he stepped on the gas pedal a little bit aggrieved.Shang Xuechen grasped the handle on the door frame, but there was a smile on his face.When Ji Shu calmed down, Shang Xuechen took a deep breath before speaking, "Qi Liang was buried at the time of March [-]th. A lot of things happened to us before, and Shen Ao couldn't let go. It was hard The ashes were taken back, but the burial was still too late. In the end, Qi Liang couldn't even find peace after his death."

"That's all because..." Ji Shuping originally wanted to say that it was all because of Shen Ao, but he had no choice but to evade it in front of Shang Xuechen. In the end, he only sighed and asked Shang Xuechen. , "Are you going to see him?"

Shang Xuechen shook his head, "Don't dare."

"Then do you still want to see Zhou Yuan in the future?"

"Try not to." Shang Xuechen took a deep breath, "Shu Ping, I don't mean to blame you for the matter about Qi Liang. It's my own problem. Now that my life is suddenly stable, I suddenly feel scared. When I fell asleep You are by my side, when I wake up in the middle of the night, you will reach out to pat me on the back, and when I wake up in the morning, I will just see you coming out of the hotel gym, with the smell of body wash on your body after taking a shower, hugging me and pressing down the hair on the top of your head .I am very happy, these are all very good to me. So happy that happiness is about to rush to my head. However, when I was young, I encountered an accident, and I lost everything overnight. From then on, I started to live carefully. My influence is so great that I am easily afraid now, afraid that I will suddenly become a person with nothing when I wake up the next day. And there is..." Shang Xuechen paused and lowered his head.

Ji Shuping parked the car on the side of the road, took his hand to his mouth, bowed his head and kissed the back of his hand, "If you don't want to say it, forget it."

Shang Xuechen pursed his lips, his shoulders slumped in the last moment of relief, he shook his head and whispered, "I'm afraid I won't dare to speak in the future. Apart from the misfortune I encountered when I was young, there is also the matter of Qi Liang It also made me afraid of the capriciousness of fate. When I woke up that day, Qi Liang was already cold. There was clearly a suitcase he packed in the living room. He booked the plane ticket, and he was still drinking with me the night before. The wine cup said goodbye, and he smiled and said to me that he hoped that I would be fine in the future. Even..." Shang Xuechen's voice choked up a little, "He even thought about Shen Ao's affairs. I actually care about it too, I am very concerned about what to write on the unfinished postcard he left behind."

Ji Shuping stretched out his hand to hug him, Shang Xuechen lay on his chest and sobbed, "I dare not see him. I dare not see him because I am too happy. Because he...he and Shen Ao..."

Ji Shuping didn't hear the words very clearly, Shang Xuechen was already crying, but Ji Shuping knew in his heart, because Qi Liang and Shen Ao are not like me and you.This time Ji Shuping didn't open his mouth to say it's okay as usual, and the current situation is not suitable to use the three words "it's okay" to comfort the crying people.Even Ji Shuping couldn't say "it's not your fault".He just reached out and patted Shang Xuechen's back, giving him breath so that he wouldn't choke himself.

The car stopped on the side of the road for a while, because there were still people sitting in the car, the traffic police did not come to post the ticket.But after stopping for a long time, the traffic police knocked on their windows impatiently, "Parking is not allowed here."

Ji Shuping was about to ask the traffic police to issue a ticket, but Shang Xuechen got up from his arms and wiped his tears, saying, "Sorry, let's go now." After talking about Ji Shuping, Ji Shuping shook his head He closed the window and stepped on the accelerator to drive the car again.

It was dark when we got back to the hotel.After Shang Xuechen took a hot bath, he lay down on the sofa and watched TV boredly.When Ji Shuping came out after washing, he brought a cup of hot milk.

"Drink and go to bed early."

Shang Xuechen looked at the cup of steaming milk in his hand, and said, "Wait a minute, I want to sit by myself for a while." As soon as he finished speaking, he saw Ji Shuping bent over to sit down.Shang Xuechen got up and pushed Ji Shuping into the room, "I want to stay by myself for a while, you go to sleep and don't wait for me."

Ji Shuping was pushed ahead by him, turned his head to see that Shang Xuechen hadn't spoken yet, and Shang Xuechen immediately said, "I'll just watch TV for a while. I promise!"

Ji Shuping could only compromise and said, "Then don't be too late, I'll wait..."

"Don't wait for me, go to bed first. You wake up early in the morning and go to the gym. But don't wait for me, I have to watch TV for a long time."

Ji Shuping thought for a while, he couldn't watch him too closely and he had to give him some space, "Okay, then I'll go to bed first." He turned around and hugged Shang Xuechen vigorously, "You Don't be too late."

Shang Xuechen patted him on the shoulder and said, "Yes, I see."

He watched Ji Shuping enter the room and lay down on the bed, then returned to the living room and sat down on the sofa in peace of mind, pulled a blanket over his shoulders and watched the decryption program about hypnosis on TV.

Shang Xuechen put on a blanket and watched TV until late at night. His phone vibrated twice and he received a text message. He picked up his phone to check the text message and checked the time, only to realize that it was so late.The text message sent was a weather alert from the operator, which said it would snow tonight.

Shang Xuechen turned his head and looked out the window, it was already five minutes past twelve.Just when the snow started to fall, he wrapped his blanket and walked to the French window, watching the snow drifting piece by piece, he sighed, "I didn't expect it to fall so early this year." Then he turned his head and looked into the dark room, "Ji Shuping You should be asleep by now."

The window was opened, and when the snow drifted in, because the heating was turned on in the room, the snow melted before it even reached the palm of my hand.Shang Xuechen glanced at the wet palms and shrunk his mouth in discouragement. Unconvinced, he poked his hands out further, but he still couldn't catch a single snowflake.He closed the window, pulled the blanket that fell from his shoulders, "Forget it, let's sleep."

He tiptoed into the room, lifted the quilt and was about to get in, when Ji Shuping, who was lying flat, suddenly turned over to face him.Shang Xuechen was stunned, afraid that he would wake Ji Shuping up.Fortunately, Ji Shuping didn't respond.But he was not in a hurry to get under the covers, he just squatted beside the bed and looked at Ji Shuping who was asleep with his eyes closed.

Shang Xuechen looked at it for a while, then looked down at the hand he just reached out to catch Xuehua, smiled, pulled away the quilt, reached in and touched Ji Shuping's stomach.

Ji Shuping was not awakened by Bing's sudden shock as he expected, and then bounced off the bed.Ji Shuping, who still had his eyes closed, touched Shang Xuechen's hand on his stomach, pulled it up and put it on his chest to cover it.

Shang Xuechen was a little disappointed, he really wanted to see Ji Shuping's startled look, "Why don't you pretend to be asleep."

Ji Shuping opened his eyes, just in time to see Shang Xuechen squatting beside the bed looking at him with his head propped up, and asked him, "How did you see that?"

"Why can't I see it." Shang Xuechen raised his chin proudly, "I didn't tell you to go to bed earlier."

"How can I sleep with peace of mind if you haven't slept?" Ji Shuping lifted the quilt to signal him to come in quickly, "Why are your hands so cold? Get under the quilt quickly."

Shang Xuechen smiled and shook his head, wanting to withdraw his hand, Ji Shuping tightly covered it so that he could not withdraw it.I had no choice but to point out with the hand supporting my chin, "It's snowing outside, do you want to play with the snow?"

Ji Shuping just got up from the bed, Shang Xuechen saw him get up, smiled and turned to look for clothes in the closet, "Why don't we go down and have a snow fight."

It's a pity that Ji Shuping didn't accept his proposal, and took Shang Xuechen's arm, making him turn around on the spot. Before he could stand still, Ji Shuping bent down again and picked him up horizontally and walked to the living room.

Shang Xuechen looked at Ji Shuping with his arms around his neck and asked, "What are you doing?"

"It's impossible to go down and play in the snow. You are such a cold person."

"How do you know I'm afraid of the cold?"

Ji Shuping put the man down in front of the French window, hugged him from behind, wrapped them tightly in another batch of blankets, and then stretched out his hand to open the upper half window, "I still remember that winter when you wrapped yourself inside and out. There are three layers."

As soon as the window was opened, cold air rushed to his face, Shang Xuechen sniffled his nose, and Ji Shuping immediately reached out and rubbed his face.Shang Xuechen didn't care too much about the cold, because he was hugged and the heater was turned on in the room.He reached out to catch the snowflakes as before, and then heard Ji Shuping behind him say, "And I'm afraid, the snow will get heavy all of a sudden, and you will disappear again."

"Aren't I right here?"

"Yes." Ji Shuping's chest was tightly pressed against Shang Xuechen's back, and his hand went out along his arm to cover the back of his hand. He held Shang Xuechen's hand and stretched out the window to catch snowflakes, " You are here now."

Shang Xuechen still didn't catch a single snowflake, because the snow melted as soon as it fell into his palm, but he persistently stretched out his hand out of the window, and stayed with him for Ji Shuping's sake for no other reason.Shang Xuechen looked at the snow falling all over the sky outside, and the roof of the building was gradually turning white. He said to Ji Shuping, "Look, now that the snow has gotten bigger, I'm still here."

Ji Shuping echoed him, "Well, you're still there when the snow gets bigger."

"So, Shuping, don't worry, I will always be here in the future."

Ji Shuping lowered his head and touched Shang Xuechen's ear tip with his own lips, "I know."

"Then can you promise me one thing?"

"You said."

"I want to steal someone. Ah—" Shang Xuechen screamed, because as soon as he finished speaking, Ji Shuping bit his ear hard, Shang Xuechen hurriedly explained, "Listen to me first! I didn't mean that! I just stole someone. Ah——, no, no, I didn't say it clearly enough, let me go and stop biting!"