little miss austin

He once naively thought that he and Alice could always be together, be together forever, live together and die together.When you fall in love with a girl you have known since childhood, you will always have her shadow in your life, you can't forget her, and you can't stop loving her.

So, this is why people say that first love is always unforgettable, no matter whether the other person left you with painful or sweet memories.

His chest was throbbing with pain, like the burning lungs after running hard, but this time it wasn't the lungs that hurt, but the heart.

He stopped at the edge of a forest, got off his horse, and walked in a disturbed manner.

She is getting engaged!

His heart ached unbearably, he waved his horsewhip and whipped a bush beside him indiscriminately.

How could she be engaged to someone else!

His eyes were red with anger.

Alice and Byron became lovers, but he didn't worry about it. Byron would never consider getting married at all, and she didn't want to get married. Their relationship could end at any time, and Byron was never a problem.But Oliver - they accompany each other, Alice has a disease that will die, Oliver is with her; he is wounded from the battlefield, she is with him.

The shameless Oliver!He took advantage of Alice's kindness and asked her to stay by his side. Alice would definitely visit him when she heard that he was hurt, and he only needed to put on a pitiful look to let her stay.

Hateful Hateful Hateful!

He suddenly realized that Oliver could always achieve his goals.Oliver is not the kind of flamboyant personality, and he is careful in doing things. There are many boys of similar age in this area, but he is the "child from other people's family", the kind of child who will be taken out by other parents as a role model for their sons.Everything about him seems to be so logical. Where they want to play, who they want to play with, who they want to play with, and who they want to be friends with, he has always made up his mind until Alice appeared, the one who made the decision The child becomes Alice.

He still remembers the first time he saw Alice. It was a summer day. As usual, they took off their clothes and went swimming in the creek between Newton Manor and Faraday Manor. Alice rode a pony and took her with her. Seeing Oliver's servant, he got off his horse, stood by the river, and talked to Oliver.

The boys sank into the water in panic because they were all naked, with only their heads exposed.

She was ten and a half years old at the time, a little girl, wearing a beautiful calico dress, two braids, and a wreath of wildflowers on her hair, very cute; Little snow white teeth, so cute.

Oliver asked her if she could swim, and she shook her head regretfully, saying that although there are many brothers, they are not at home and no one taught her how to swim.He said suddenly, he—they could teach her.

She opened her eyes wide, nodded quickly, and said that it is not easy to change clothes now, and she will come to learn swimming tomorrow when she prepares her clothes.

When she rode away, Oliver pushed him into the water to tidy up.

He tried his best to wipe the tears from his face, but because he really didn't know what to do, the tears couldn't be stopped at all.

Newton Manor.

After Ivo left, Alice left the living room immediately.

Oliver knew she was angry about the engagement ball, so he quickly chased after her, "Alice!"

"Don't talk to me." She shook off his hand.

"Sorry, I shouldn't talk casually."

"Do you have to make him so angry?"

"I won't feel sorry for him, I have to let him remember that you are mine now, and he can't get close to you again."

"I'm mine! I'm not yours, nor anyone else's." She shouted angrily.

"Alice! We should talk about some important issues."

"Talking about what?" She went up the stairs.

"Like, do you want to get engaged?"

"I haven't made up my mind yet."

"I proposed to you before, do you remember?"

"remember."

"Then... will you accept my marriage proposal this time?"

"I haven't made up my mind yet."

He stopped, "Alice."

She turned to look at him.

"Come here." He stretched out his hands.

She put her hands into his.

He took her into his room, took her to the bedroom, and made her sit on the bed.Take out a small velvet box from the bedside table, "This is the same ring from last time." Then take out another small velvet box, "This is what my father gave me, the engagement ring he gave to my mother back then. Which one do you like?" pieces?"

One is a ruby ​​ring of about 6 carats, with a golden ring and hollow patterns on both sides of the gem.

One is a sapphire ring of about 8 carats, also a gold band, with a small aquamarine on each side of the gemstone.

All are beautiful.

The two rings were about the same size, and Alice wore one on each of her left and right hands.

Oliver secretly breathed a sigh of relief, "If you like them all, I will keep them." He sat beside her, brushed her hair lightly, and kissed her shoulders, neck, and behind her ears lightly.

There is no need to say anything.

It wasn't a very good proposal, and he didn't even say the word "marry".

The last marriage proposal was also bad, he forced her to wear a ring, hurt her, and even fought with Ivo.

Ah, Ivo!If he hadn't come here today, he might have to wait until he came back from vacation before proposing to her again. To some extent, he really wanted to thank Ivo.What he said about the "engagement ball" was entirely out of jealousy, and he just wanted to make Ivo feel sad, so that he would quit and no longer pursue Alice.

This is unavoidable, there is no third person allowed on the road of love, but as long as Ivo gives up his love, they will still be friends.

After dinner, it was getting dark, and the servant suddenly reported that Master Gordon had come again.

Alice had just brought Oliver to the lounge and was going to read today's newspaper to him.

"Please come in," she ordered the servant.

Soon, Ivo came in.

He didn't wear a hat, and his hair was disheveled by the wind because he was riding too fast.He stroked his hair absently, "Alice, can I talk to you alone?"

He didn't look at Oliver, and Alice didn't look at Oliver.

She put down the newspaper in her hand, "Follow me." She walked out of the lounge and opened the door of the next game room.

Ivo followed into the game room and closed the door behind him.

There are pool tables, card tables, and chess tables in the game room, and there are chandeliers full of candles hanging from the ceiling.

Alice found a table at random, sat down at the table, "Sit."

Ivo then sat on the chair opposite her.

A brief silence.

Ivo stared at the chessboard on the table, and Alice looked at him.

After about ten minutes, Ivo said, "Alice," he said hoarsely, "Did Oliver propose to you?"

She didn't speak, just held out her left hand, with a ruby ​​ring on her left ring finger.

He was shocked and stammered a bit, "But, but you don't have a ring on your hand this afternoon, you—he—he gave you the ring after I left, didn't you?"

She nodded.

He stood up abruptly, "Damn it! Why does he always get what he wants?"

She looked up at him, saw him walking back and forth in a panic, thought for a while, and then called out to him, "Ivo."

He froze all of a sudden, looked at his toes, and then glanced at her in a panic.

"You... don't cry. You are a man, not a boy, don't cry."

Big tears rolled down from his eyes, and he cried stubbornly and sadly, "We...do you love him?"

"Probably love."

"Then it's still uncertain?" He frowned in pain, "Didn't you say you wouldn't get married? Then why did you agree to his proposal?!"

"Being engaged doesn't mean we're going to get married. He's willing not to get married, and he doesn't ask me to have children."

"But you didn't ask me...you ask me, you ask me! I can agree!" He wiped his tears with the back of his hand in embarrassment, but the tears were like a mountain stream, and he couldn't wipe them off. .

She handed him a handkerchief, but he stubbornly and childishly refused to take it.

She stood up, gently supported his chin with her left hand, and gently wiped away his tears with her right hand.

"Alice, Alice, Alice." He sobbed and called her name, calling her repeatedly. "How can I make you change your mind? Tell me, I will do what you want me to do. If he can promise you, I can promise you too. Aren't you happy with me? You have been They like me better, I know that."

"But I'm not a little girl anymore. I like you, and I like Oliver, 'like', not 'love'. You've grown up, and you've turned your teenage friendship into love, but I don't know... I can I like you both at the same time, but you," she frowned in annoyance, "you won't understand what I want. I want love, but I don't want bondage, yes, I'm selfish, and there's nothing wrong with thinking about myself, Why can't I think of myself instead of you? If you can't accept it, go away. I don't need any of you to live well. This world is cruel, but it's also very simple. Just Most things can be achieved with money, I'm already rich, I don't need a man to survive, and I don't care what people gossip about me behind my back. I'm a woman who can become notorious , but as long as I don't care, no one can hurt me with gossip—"

Ivo was shocked, and Oliver who just opened the door of the game room was also shocked.

Alice glanced at Oliver at the door in a hurry, "Both of you are not suitable for me, you want an heir, but I am the only woman in this country who knows that she never wants children, don't say 'she still Young, she doesn't know what she wants', this is a terrible prejudice, I knew when I was 10 years old that I would not have children in the future. As for marriage and family, I don't want it either, I have a lot of money, and I still I am very suspicious, I don’t trust people who are not related to me by blood, my property belongs to me only, and no one can touch me—”

"Who told you about your property?" Oliver walked over, "You are indeed a very suspicious woman. You never told me how much money you have. My father knew that you had extra land, and it was because of him The piece of land that I wanted to buy was bought by you, so he inquired a little bit."

Ivo yelled, "I haven't finished talking to her yet, you go out."

Oliver looked at him amusedly, "This is my home, I can come in if I want."

Ivo was annoyed and glared at him.

"Oliver, you go out first."

"After you talk to him, I'll talk to you too."

uh ok. "Okay, you go out first."

Ivo stopped crying, but his eye circles were still red, as if he had just cried.

He looks very small. He is 26 years old and still looks like he is only 20 years old. Even with a beard, he still looks like a big boy who is trying to be mature.

He has really changed a lot. Before, he only knew how to have fun, and his mind was full of thoughts about where to play today and where to go tomorrow. Now...he has grown into a mature man--well, ignore him too young No face counts—he becomes a courageous and quick-witted reporter, and he carves out his career with professional risks no less, and sometimes more, than Oliver on the battlefield.He never complained, it was his own choice after all, and he rarely told her about the various dangerous things he encountered unless she asked.

The serious illness she got a few years ago became a watershed in the lives of the three of them. Facing the test of life and death can make people think carefully about life.

who I am.

What should I do.

What kind of person do I want to be.

What kind of life do I want.

Everyone has made a choice based on their true will.

"Does he love you?" Ivo calmed down.

"It should be love."

"I love you, I've told you so many times."

"I know, I heard it all."

"My love for you will never be less than Oliver's love for you, it will only be more and stronger. You...you didn't even ask me. I am from Ireland to England, from Dublin to Liverpool, from Liverpool to Malta Deira Island, how did I miss you along the way." He reached out and brushed her forehead hair, "I don't have your portrait, I haven't seen you for half a year, I'm desperately thinking about what you look like, the first time we met The dress you wore when you played the game, you never played by the rules, pretended to fall, pretended to cry to trick me out, and laughed at me and laughed at me for being an idiot. I miss you, miss you more and more every day, you Is my sunshine, my only love."

He tried hard to hold back his tears, "I understand what you said, you want me to mature and become a man, I'm doing pretty well, right? I want to be a man you can rely on, I can cry in front of you, absolutely Don't pretend to be masculine, you don't have to always be strong in front of me, you can be a fragile woman occasionally, you can cry in my arms when you are sad, and I will hold you and comfort you, just like when I was a child. Alice , we are all the same people, Oliver is not like us. We all want to be happy, we want love, I have always been the one who understands you best, and you like to team up with me when you play games. Alice, we There are so many common memories between them, have you forgotten them all?"

Alice discovers for the first time that he can also be very persuasive. He has indeed changed, matured, and is very good at using language and using their shared memories. He is worthy of a graduate of literature.

"Ivo..."

He took a velvet pouch from his coat pocket, opened it, and took out a ring.

"I bought it with my own money, and Henry gave me the manuscript fee. It's not worth much, it's just a very ordinary gold ring. I've seen you wear a silver ring that looks very similar to this one before. So I said to the goldsmith, I want a ring like this. I thought I'd propose to you when I got back to London, but you... you're not in London."

He squeezed the gold ring between his fingers and forced a smile, "On Madeira Island, Oliver proposed to you, he prepared the ring, and I... I didn't even think about proposing to you at the time, I always felt that you It's mine, we will always be together, don't worry about the proposal. Now think about it, how stupid I was! I should have proposed to you the moment I saw you again, agreed to all your requests, regardless of those How absurd the request seemed to me at the time—”

"You, do you want to marry me too?"

"Yes, a marriage proposal. No, it's a promise. This ring means I love you. I won't make demands on you, and I won't force you to do anything you don't like. I may never understand your thoughts , but I will respect you, respect you [-]%. I will not pretend that I really understand what you are thinking, you are difficult to understand, you are different from other girls, I love you for who you are, you are different You. I've been wrong before. I'm so stupid to want you to be one of those normal girls. You're not, you'll always be different. Alice, my one and only, would you like to be with me ?”

The candlelight shone on the golden ring, and the golden light was shining.

Oliver was still in the next lounge.

The lounge is half the size of the games room, with comfortable sofas and a fireplace.

It was quite cold in England at the beginning of October, and the firewood was burning in the fireplace, making a small crackling sound.

Oliver sat in front of the fireplace, looking at the flames in the fireplace.

The flames glowed warm and bright, like sunlight but warmer than it.

He couldn't read too clearly, and couldn't read books or newspapers by himself. Every night, Alice would read to him the news from today's newspapers, and they quickly developed some common habits.

Servants came and went, bringing him wine, and a basket of wood, which he placed by the fire.He told the servants to get out as soon as they were done and not to come in all the time.

liqueur.

It is very mellow and strong enough, half a bottle of wine is drunk without knowing it.

Since he lost his eyesight, his hearing has become relatively more sensitive, and he can hear footsteps in the next room—but it is still impossible to hear voices—the sound of doors opening and closing, the sound of Ivo's riding boots in the corridor, someone The sound of pushing the door open.

Very light footsteps, barely audible.She wore house slippers, the ones with pink lamb leather pompoms, soft soles, almost silent when stepping on the carpet, what he actually heard was the "rustling" sound of her skirt rubbing against each other.

She reached out and pressed his shoulder lightly.

Then, she whispered in his ear, "Ollie, say you love me."

Newton Manor did not hold any engagement ball, and Oliver and Alice returned to London over the weekend.

Ivo also returned to London on the same day, staggering a station back and forth. He caught up in the afternoon, and came to sit with them when they were resting at the station in the evening.

The atmosphere was a bit weird, but the two men actually had a good chat.

Alice rested her chin on the side, seemed to have something on her mind, and seldom spoke.

The men glanced at her now and then to see if she was getting bored, and she wasn't, just not in the mood.

Jacob came over and said that he had booked the hotel next door, and was a little surprised that Ivo appeared.

Alice asked, "Ivo, have you booked a hotel yet?"

"not yet."

"Jacob, book another room for Master Ivo."

Then she pushed away the plate in front of her and stood up, "I'm tired, I'm going to rest first."

There is no bathtub in the hotel, only a tub to take a shower.Alice was lying in the tub, with soap, shampoo, and towels on the shelves next to her.

Kate is washing her hair and gently massaging her scalp. The shampoo contains jasmine essential oil, which has a delicate fragrance.

"Miss, Master Ivo won't fight with Master Oliver, will he?"

"No. What? Are you worried that they will fight to the death for me?"

"Isn't it?"

"No, they've known each other far longer than I have known each other, without me they would have been best friends and still are. It's common for two best friends or brothers to fall in love with the same girl because they Their aesthetics and outlook on life are roughly similar, and I can't stop them from loving me."

"Miss is so cute, it's normal for them to love you."

Alice smiled, "Yeah, I'm fine, of course they'll love me."

"Miss, who do you love?"

"Maybe both, or neither."

Kate was confused, "Can this be done?"

"Ordinary people can only deal with one relationship, but some people can deal with several relationships at the same time."

"Like—Master George?"

"Yes, George is a good example." Alice pondered for a while, could it be that she is the same as Byron?A casual, unscrupulous guy?She is not casual enough, because this society has a high tolerance for vagabonds, and if a woman has a man other than her husband, she will be nailed to the stigmata of "slut", and people will talk about her excitedly behind her back Gossip, once she is shut out, the door of the social world will be closed to her. If she is unwilling to be lonely and wants to have a social life, she can only join forces with her "like".

Using Byron as an example again, the patriarchal society is tolerant of prodigal sons like Byron, and his extramarital affairs with married women have not affected his social interaction at all. This is because men think women are "items". The Viscount of Melbourne was not really annoyed until rumors of his wife's pregnancy broke out, and the Earl of Oxford was even more indifferent to it.Mrs. Caroline Lamb and Mrs. Oxford are not "good women", both are married women. This may be Byron's emotional preference for mature women, or it may be because married women do not exist for him to be responsible for.