[HP] Mrs. Snape

I am a wandering soul floating in the world, no, it should be said that I am the body of a walking dead.

Ever since my only daughter died in a car accident, I have been drifting. At first, I still had the strength to argue with my husband, complaining to each other why he didn’t take good care of the child, but later, slowly, I didn’t even have the strength to fight. , we even lost interest in looking at each other, the child was lost, the family collapsed...

My husband and I hit it off when we got married.

I am an old girl. My mother gave birth to me when she was almost 40 years old. Since I was a child, my parents have always taught me that a girl should be strong and not rely on others, but on herself!To learn to protect yourself, no one can rely on!

Maybe the mentality of my parents who can't stay with me for a long time has gradually developed a strong character.

So, I was the first to do everything. In college, when other girls were looking for their boyfriends to buy bags and shoes, I had already used the money I earned from a part-time job for a semester to buy two sets of famous brands for myself from head to toe!Even underwear and socks are bought directly from France!Although my parents objected to my spending money on dressing and dressing, firstly, I had grown up and had my own ideas, and they were beyond their reach. Secondly, after all, I earned the money myself. Although my parents asked me Strict, but still very respectful of my own ideas, especially as an adult.

A few years later, when my classmates were facing unemployment after graduation, I started to start my own decoration company as soon as I graduated. Although there were only three people including myself, it was my first I am very proud and satisfied with this career.

The company is gradually expanding, and the business is getting wider and wider. When we have more than 50 employees and our business is almost all over the city, our small company also ushered in the acquisition of a state-owned enterprise. I weighed it carefully for a while. , agreed to the acquisition, but declined the invitation to work in a large company.

This acquisition gave me a net worth of millions. Although this money was nothing in the eyes of the bosses, to me at that time, it was indeed a real start-up fund for my career!Then I used this money to switch to the construction industry. At that time, all cities in mainland China were engaged in construction and building buildings. I couldn’t afford real estate and my capital was too small, but the construction materials industry still made me a lot of money, and I also had my own. The first joint stock company.

Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention my husband. My husband is the person in charge of the state-owned enterprise that starts with the Chinese characters and talks to me about the acquisition.Originally, my small Xiami company was not in his eyes at all, but at that time, their company had just entered our second-tier city and was in urgent need of a breakthrough, so I fell into his eyes like this, no matter the company or the person.

He started to pursue me, and I didn't hold back. After two dates, I told him directly that I had a good impression of him. Try to continue to develop, okay?

At that time, my husband laughed out loud after listening to it, and he laughed so hard that I couldn't understand it.I have never been in love, so naturally I don't know what is ambiguous, what is hanging, what is the interest of you chasing me to hide, I only know that I think he is good, and he seems to have a good impression of me, why can't we talk directly?

Fortunately, my husband also appreciates my personality, and then we fell in love smoothly, got engaged smoothly, and got married two years later.One year after we got married, when I gave birth to Yoyo, my daughter, my husband had already become the general manager of the southwestern region of the state-owned enterprise. Three years later, he directly took his source of customers to jump ship and start his own company.For his courage and wrist, I appreciate it!

As for me, even if I get married, I don’t want to give up my own career. He also supports me. Even when I was eight months pregnant, I still drove around by myself to talk about business. At that time, I almost gave birth to my child on a construction site superior!

After giving birth to Yoyo, I felt even more conflicted. On the one hand, I love my daughter very much, she is almost everything I treasure; but on the other hand, I can't let go of my career. Even in confinement, I My work is still going on, and I rely on video calls to remotely control the company. This makes my father-in-law and mother-in-law very dissatisfied. They feel that I am too unfeminine. How can I be a wife and a mother? !The family is not short of my money!

I scoff at this, who stipulates that mothers should be unkempt in front of diapers and milk powder all day long!Who stipulated that mothers must give up their careers and live by men?

In the face of conflicts at home, or direct conflicts between me and my mother-in-law, my husband handled it well, he never favored any side, I was wrong, he just told me in front of my mother-in-law, educated me, and then Then he turned around and did ideological work on my mother-in-law; but my mother-in-law was nagging too much, so he didn't take sides, just talked about my mother-in-law in private

In fact, I should be thankful that my parents-in-law are also the kind of people who are well-educated and self-cultivated. Even if they feel a little uncomfortable, they also know how to put themselves in other places. Except for children, we get along pretty well.

The company of my husband and I is getting bigger and bigger at the same time, and both of us are getting more and more busy. We often can’t be at home for several days, and we have less company with our daughter. Although before we got married, my husband and I vowed to be a family. Parents who take care of both careers must not let their children leave childhood regrets, but it is easier said than done in practice!

Once my daughter had a fever, my mother-in-law called me in a hurry and asked me to go back, but I was discussing a very important cooperation at the time, so I could only say hurry up, and then called my husband to let him go home quickly, but my husband was already on a business trip No, I can't help it. After I finished the cooperation here and rushed to the hospital, my daughter had already come out of the emergency room. Facing the accusing eyes of the four old people, my parents-in-law and my parents-in-law, I was at a loss and felt extremely guilty...

As my career is getting bigger and bigger, I feel a little at a loss when I face my family because of the ease of my career. My daughter has always been taken by my father-in-law and mother-in-law. Before finishing a game, the phone call urged me to rush back to the company.

As for my daughter's personality, in fact, objectively speaking, she was spoiled by the four old people, but I didn't think it was a big deal at the time. The child is still young, and it will be fine when she grows up. Besides, I am often not around the child. I also feel a little guilty about her, and I can't bear to be too strict with the child.

It happened in autumn. That year, my daughter graduated from kindergarten and was about to enter elementary school. My husband and I finally took time to go to the park with my daughter before entering school. The daughter who hadn’t seen her parents for a long time was naturally happy to see her parents. , chirping and singing like a lark along the way...

On the way back, the child asked for ice cream. I refused on the grounds that I had already eaten one before going out, but the child kept crying, and I became a little angry. I reprimanded my daughter, and my husband accused me of treating the child too much. Severe, I naturally turned my lips back.

My husband and I have been in high positions for so many years, and we are used to ordering our subordinates at the same time. When we quarrel, it is natural that the point of the needle is on the same level, and neither of us wants to let it go, and then it happened at this time ...

Yoyo didn't see me buying ice cream for her, so she clamored to go home to find her grandparents. She shook off my hand and left. I didn't pay attention to the child's movements when I was confronting my husband, until I heard a scream, and then a loud noise. Ring, my Yoyo, my Yoyo was knocked high into the air, and the white dress was covered with blood...

Yoyo just disappeared, and died on the spot.My god, the sky of all of us, is falling...

After Yoyo passed away, I have been in a hallucination. I always feel that Yoyo is calling her mother, and I agree when she calls, and finally the people next to me look like a madman and wake me up.

Since that day, my ears have been buzzing, like tape playback, with that scream, and that loud, pounding sound against my daughter's puny frame...

No one can forgive me, including myself, for killing my daughter.

I circled myself in Yoyo's room, didn't come out, didn't eat, didn't sleep, neither dawn nor night, just curled up on Yoyo's small bed like that, smelling my daughter's breath, it seemed that only in this way could I feel her daughter In fact, it has always been by my side.

How long this lasted, I don’t know, about a month, by the time my husband tore me from the room screaming like a lunatic to the hospital, I was already exhausted, I thought, Maybe then I want to die.

However, the depressive crying of my parents brought me back to my senses. My old parents with gray hair are so worried about their daughter.If I leave, what will happen to my parents!

In this way, staggering, I struggled to survive, but everything fell apart, and I couldn't go back to the past.

Even now, I have been thinking, is it true that men are naturally colder than women?My daughter was lost, I was in pain and almost died, but my husband was in pain too, he was in pain for less than a week and went to work like a normal person because he had a job to do, and he took my place when I was looking haggard Manage my company...

When he came back from the hospital, he asked me if I wanted to come back to work. I didn’t even want to look at him at the time. The days of getting together and away more these years have worn away our relationship with each other. Now that I think about it, he might have been Kindness, wanted me to use my busy schedule to refresh myself, as he had done himself.But I couldn't understand his behavior at the time, my daughter is gone!Why can he go to work so easily!Why do you act like a normal person like this!

I had a hysterical fight with him, and then he slammed the door and left. I knelt on the floor at home, holding my daughter's favorite teddy bear and crying heartbreakingly.

As soon as he left, he didn't come back for three days. When he came back, I smelled the smell of alcohol on his body, and found the hotel's business card in his clothes, and had another big fight. I don't feel good, although I don't know what he did when he went out, but it's impossible to spend time and drink, I still believe in my husband's character

However, at that time, I just couldn’t stand these things. At that time, I was almost going crazy. I blamed myself in pain and wanted to die, and I wanted to drag the whole world to die, but I couldn’t do anything, I could only linger on my last breath.My husband became the outlet for my pain because he was there that day, the day my daughter died!

My husband can't stand the atmosphere at home, and I can't stand me like a crazy woman. As soon as he comes home, I grab him and quarrel, but gradually, I don't have the strength to quarrel, and it is replaced by indifference. , I do mine, I flip through my daughter's photo album over and over again, looking at the images left by her during her lifetime, it's like living alone in a frozen time...

My husband would come back often at the stage when we were arguing, and even if we were confrontational, he would come back and have a meal with me.However, gradually, the time he came back became less and less, from two days, three days, to one week, two weeks, and he gradually disappeared for a month, and every time he came back and stayed for less than an hour, it was like running away. Like, escaped from the house.

In this way, I closed myself at home, until my parents rushed from my hometown, dragged me out of the house, who was already severely depressed, and sent me to the hospital. With my parents, I came back to my senses.

In this way, I left everything behind and returned with my parents to the hometown where I lived until I was 17 years old and went to college.

After leaving the city that caused me pain, the situation is a little better, I can eat and sleep normally, and I look like a normal person, and it’s just a look. Whenever my parents fall asleep in the dead of night, I just open my eyes. Eyes, straight open until dawn.

This went on for a year, and then the last straw came for me, or for my parents.My husband asked the lawyer to send a divorce agreement and property division documents. At that time, my head was buzzing, just like when my daughter died, but I signed it calmly.

My parents couldn't be more angry. They always treated my husband like a son. Originally, since I went back to my hometown with my parents, he didn't even look at me, which made them very angry. Now it's even more so ruthless!Since then, one thing my elderly mother has to do every day is to sit on the stone pier in front of the house and scold my husband to the neighbors, oh, no ex-husband.

I wanted to tell my parents that he was not a ruthless person, and that he was also in pain, but he just changed another way to solve the pain in his heart, but at that time, I couldn't even struggle myself, so I couldn't care less others.

My parents accepted my idea, but they can clearly feel that my parents have aged a lot after my divorce. As an old woman, they have been worried that they will die early and I will have no one to take care of them, so they have taught me to be strong and independent since childhood. Thinking that after they leave, I can live a better life myself.

However, how can I make them feel at ease with my current state? Originally, in the days when I just returned to my hometown, I heard them quietly planning to persuade my husband and me to have another child when my situation improves. , life has to go on.But this divorce has become an illusion all the way.

My parents don't trust me, I know, so I force myself to take medicine, force myself to see a doctor, and force myself to live a normal life.

For insomnia, I just take insomnia medicine, and if I can’t eat, I take a bottle, but in this way, I am still getting thinner day by day, and finally only a handful of bones are left, but I tell myself, I can’t fall down, at least I can’t Falling in front of my parents, they have already worried more about me, an unfilial daughter, and I can't let them bear the pain of a white-haired man sending a black-haired man again

Yoyo, my Yoyo, my child, wait for mom, okay?Wait for mom, don't go alone, the road is too dark, don't go alone, wait for mom, mom will accompany you...

In this way, after a few years, my parents passed away, and my mother left first. She said that she felt dizzy before going to bed that night, and then took some antihypertensive drugs as usual, and lay down. wake up……

After my mother passed away, my father collapsed quickly. He only survived for half a year before he died in the hospital.

After my parents' funeral, I sold the house, wrote my will, and sent a letter to my ex-husband.Then I went to the city where I went to college, worked, married and lived, and it was also the city where my daughter ended up sleeping forever.

There is a custom in our place, that is, if a child dies underage, he cannot be buried, otherwise the child will not be reincarnated in peace in the next life, and can only be a lonely ghost wandering in the world.

I was in a trance at the time, and I didn't come to remember to stop it. When I woke up, I realized that my daughter had been cremated and her father scattered the ashes into her favorite sea.Whether I think about it or not, ashes return to ashes, and dust returns to dust, it is such a reincarnation.

But later, she was not reconciled. The mother-in-law and her husband set up a longevity card for their daughter in the temple, and stood it in the most incense-filled place in the temple. The eminent monks recited it every day, and burned incense to worship all year round, just to pray for the child's next life. If you cast a good tire, you will have a safe and smooth life.

I didn't believe it at first, but now I would rather believe it.

I ran to that temple like a ghost.The only place I have contact with my kids.

That day, I knelt in front of my daughter's Longevity card. I knelt for a day and a night, constantly reciting the scriptures I had learned over the years, and only hoped that my daughter and parents would be well in the spirit of heaven.

Walking out of the temple, I looked up at the sky and smiled. Over the years, some melancholy that had been suppressed in my heart seemed to dissipate in an instant.

The temple is located halfway up a mountain. I climbed to the top of the mountain when no one was there, stood on the cliff, looked at the dark cliff under my feet, and laughed, really and happily for so many years.

For the first time since my daughter passed away, I smiled comfortably.

I took out two large bottles of sleeping pills, which I had been slowly accumulating over the years, stuffed them into my mouth one by one, for fear of missing one, and waited for a while, when my vision began to blur, I stood On the edge of the cliff, I jumped without hesitation...

There's always an alternative to everything, isn't there?In case one fails to be used, it is necessary to enable the record immediately.This is what my husband taught me when I entered the mall at the beginning of the year...