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With the sound of firecrackers, Qi Yu walked over to Sarah while letting the pot on the stove cook slowly, "What does that mean? Qi Yu explained it to her. She was thoughtful, as if she was trying to appreciate the beauty of the poem. "Chinese culture is really interesting.Do you know that there is a poet in the United States named Whitman? "" I know, what's the matter? ""I read a book two days ago, a book written by a Canadian, Chinese version.Whitman's poetry, he said, was vulgar. ""vulgar?What do you think? ""I think that Whitman's poems, translated into Chinese, are not so vulgar, but the original English is vulgar.Chinese is a beautiful language. ""How do you like it? ""I like.I like Chinese culture very much, and I want to take the time to understand it. ’ ‘That would take a long time. " "I am willing to spend my life. "

She felt that she was confessing her love, and Qi Yu felt the same way.And so silence spreads, fueled by the explosion of fireworks.

During the Spring Festival, neither of them discussed this topic.Qi Yu took her to the countryside to experience the New Year.The air between the mountains and fields is excellent, and there are still people selling cannons in the countryside. Sarah insisted on buying and playing, one box or two boxes was not enough.Qi Yu laughed at her as a wild girl.

"Isn't the girl a little girl?" Sarah said, "Maid?" Qi Yu laughed even more happily.

Qi Yu didn't know what was wrong with him, so he started talking about "Fingering Love" with Sarah. Sarah said that she liked the movie very much, and Qi Yu said that it was too dreamy and unreal. "You don't believe in fairy tales?" Sarah asked, "Aren't fairy tales unbelievable whether they are white or black?" Sarah asked what is black and white, and she explained it again. Sarah laughed and asked again: "What if You have the opportunity to write a story, what would you write?" Qi Yu shook his head, "I don't want to write anything, nothing can compare to reality. The reality is so cruel, cruel, and terrifying." "You can write a beautiful story. Stories." Qi Yu just smiled and didn't answer. Sarah watched her, and she lowered her head, looking away. Sarah felt herself read a bitterness from her expression.

She wanted to continue asking, but Qi Yu stopped looking at her, so she stopped.

One night later, Sarah asked her colleagues and former friends who were thousands of miles away, if someone hides something from you and it makes her unhappy, how should you make her speak out so that she doesn't feel sad?A friend who is thousands of miles away said that if she doesn't want to tell you, it's useless, she won't tell you anyway, and don't ask, it will make people feel that you have violated her spiritual territory.Colleagues said that if she doesn't want to talk, you can't help it; but if she wants to talk so much, you can ask around.

Will she tell me the truth of the matter? Sarah then asked colleagues.

She will give you the answer she wants to give!Colleagues said.

On the same cold night with drizzling rain, Qi Yu was alone at home, drinking black tea and listening to the sound of rain.The quiet community is backed by the forest park, and when it gets quiet, only the chirping of birds is used as an alarm clock in the morning.She still dreams of Yushan often, especially since her affair with Sarah.Every time she wakes up after dreaming about Yushan, she sees Sarah's face.Seeing her blond hair and slightly freckled cheeks, she seemed to be able to see her beautiful lake blue pupils in the darkness.At the same time, Yushan's face remained in her mind, almost overlapping with Sarah's face.

They are not alike, Qi Yu understands, they are not alike at all.The feelings she found in them must not be the same.Yushan is quiet, gentle, even indifferent and self-sustaining, noble and dignified, like all the unattainable beauty in the world; Sarah is lively, free and easy, passionate, Americangirl.NeithervalleygirlnorYankeestyle , she is not from mid-eastor southern parts, she is from Florida, asunshine state.

She dreamed that Yushan and she returned to New York again, in the small apartment on 82nd Street on the Upper East Side, if the two of them were tired of being together all day long, the space would be enough to raise a dog, they were inseparable; dreamed that they went to the supermarket on 96th Street together Buy food, cook miso and Korean kimchi together, and then put sea greens; dream that they are walking in Central Park together, and the busker troupe composed of three black guys is performing a talk show; Metropolis, and MoMA's "Water Lilies" with three walls: all the details are correct, as clear as the cells seen under a properly adjusted microscope, the only difference is that she asked Yushan, can we just stay here? How about staying in New York?Yushan said yes.

No, in reality she bid farewell quietly, leaving a letter to tell Qi Yu not to look for her.Qi Yu inquired everywhere about Yushan's whereabouts, and kept chasing her back to the country silently—not daring to let Yushan find out that he was actually looking for her, as if her words were irreversible.She found out that Yushan chose to return to China, and chased her to Beijing to see her get married.Marriage either proves that the year Yushan lived with her in New York was all a lie, or that Yushan was a jerk, or both.Where exactly did she lie to herself, and when did she start planning all of this—Qi Yu knew that Yushan was a person who was full of plans and would never come up with whims—he didn't want to know at all.I don't want to accept this fact at all.

But she was a gentle and kind person after all.It's hard to be cruel to strangers, let alone the one you love?She went to Yushan's wedding and just sneaked in to have a look.She thought Yushan didn't notice her, but in fact Yushan did.

Then she went back to New York alone, and again she felt that things were missing people, so she changed to Orlando.It feels like there is no place for me on either side of the Pacific, and maybe I need to move across the Atlantic.

She once made a cross-border phone call to Yushan.She knew when Yushan's husband would come to the United States for business. After all, everyone knew each other before, and they could even be said to be friends.It's just that her relationship with Yushan has never been known to outsiders.Among her favorite books, "Licking the Velvet" is the least she likes. Although she hasn't met a prostitute, she hates Katie just like she hates Yushan.

But she always carried this book with her.Because she and Yushan bought that book together.

One sweltering night in Orlando, she felt that she could no longer escape life like this, and should go back to being a bar owner.Even if you are naive and meet Yushan again, treat it as meeting a stranger, even if you can't...

When she returned to China, she heard the news of Yushan's death through her friends.Just a week before her return home.Regardless of the cause of death or the rapidity of the emergency, nothing compares to her hearing from Yushan's husband that Yushan expressed that she did not want her to attend the funeral when she was dying.

She has since left the city full of shadows.Sleep in your own seabed.

After meeting Sarah, she seemed to be able to feel a little bit of warmth again, as well as her urge to try to get closer to it.No one is born to give up happiness, a friend told her, you are just frustrated for a while.You will wake up when you meet someone more suitable.Don't they all say that spring is here?When your spring comes, the ice and snow will melt.

"Yourworldsonicecurrently, andtherewillbesomeonesetyourworldonfire." My friend said this after listening to her talk about Sarah. "But I can't just treat her like this," "How do I treat her?" "She doesn't necessarily want to stay in China." "Do you have to stay in China? Look at you, those who make money Where is the means other than earning?"

She was silent.

"If you think about it, you can decide, if you want to float, don't give yourself so many constraints. If you want constraints, you must choose the constraints you are willing to accept. Living is hard enough. When you can follow your own thoughts, follow your thoughts."

"But I don't have any ideas." "You always have a heart?"

These years have passed, and she is not sure if her heart is still alive.

Life is still going on like this, Sarah wanted to say something several times, and Qi Yu was waiting for her to say it, but she still chose to say something else.She didn't bother to ask.They still watched movies, ate and drank coffee, felt the local life, resolved their nostalgia, and hugged each other under the quilt in the weather that was getting warmer and colder, providing warmth for each other.Qi Yu still dreamed of Yushan, but the dream gradually became blurred and chaotic. Sometimes he dreamed that the two were avoiding zombies in the abandoned industrial building, and there was only fear in the dream. When he woke up, he remembered watching the new animation of "Resident Evil".

On a warm spring night, the two went to a bar that specializes in craft beer for a drink.The night wind was very warm, and Sarah said that she wanted to take a walk.Qi Yu looked at his watch, and at 10:30, he couldn't go to the river or the small road, so he planned to take a taxi to a wide road lined with tall phoenix trees near Sarah's house, and then walk home.In the middle of the night, the taxi was waiting for a red light, and Kitty Chen's cover of "Regret" was played on the radio.It's a light, simple and nice-sounding version.Qi Yu couldn't help singing along. "You used to," Sarah asked, Qi Yu turned his eyes to her, and did not stop singing, "When the bar was open, were there any singers?" Qi Yu shook his head, and answered her during the interlude, "There are no resident singers.