Late ripening

Between half asleep and half awake, the night became long and short.Jing Yan felt that he was awake all the time, lying under the quilt in a stiff posture.After finally being exhausted and falling asleep, I will fall into a nightmare again.

In the dream, it seemed that he was about to fall, not under the bed, but into a bottomless mass of darkness.Falling straight from a high altitude, he was very afraid of pain, but he was even more afraid of the endless panic of weightlessness.He may have struggled a few times on the bed, and then he was caught and held into a warm embrace.

He didn't know if it was a dream or reality, but at least for a moment he felt safe.Tired from hanging around all day, he let himself fall asleep.But after sleeping for almost a second, he was woken up by the alarm clock.

There was a still warm hot water bottle under his feet, probably put into the quilt by Lu Qian after he woke up.Lu Qian went to work again, didn't say good night to him, didn't wake him up, and didn't give him a kiss.

Jing Yan grabbed the hot water bottle from under the quilt, stuck it to his chest and hugged it for a while.He felt that he had gained some strength again, and moved to lie down beside Lu Qian.Lu Qian always said that his body temperature was low, but the more he was like this, the easier it was for him to be satisfied, as long as he was given a little temperature, he would feel very warm.

After lying still until the hot water bottle became cold, Jing Yan got up to wash up.There was an exam today, and he stood in front of the faucet and washed his face vigorously with cold water, trying to refresh himself.

To make Lu Qian happy today, he secretly gave himself an order.Then you have to be happy, laugh, didn't he say that he would be happy as long as you are happy?His bangs were wet, and some drops of water ran across his face.

He wiped the water away with his hands and grinned in the mirror.

When the exam bell rang, Jing Yan forced himself to concentrate on the exam papers.He kept writing until the last two questions, and he couldn't continue writing after he started on the draft paper.It's not that I can't, it's that I can't concentrate on thinking.He counted the previous points, more than enough to pass.The tip of the pen stopped and went on the paper, the ink fell and smudged, and a little bit was stained on my hand.

He capped the pen and handed in the paper before finishing the first time.On the way home, I checked my phone, but there was still no message.Jing Yan suddenly felt that this is such a terrible habit.

In the era when only electronic communication can be used, two people can only maintain each other through a small mobile phone.Waiting for an irrelevant text message turned out to be such a painful process, and the machine vibrated every minute to prove that I really existed in the other person's life.

Jing Yan couldn't stand this thought, he didn't want to use any other tools to express his thoughts.He ran to the school gate and took a taxi, and arrived at the building where his office was without telling Lu Qian.

There are no thoughts or plans in my head, and I don't know what to ask him for.Just wanting to see him, Jing Yan hesitated standing at the gate, wondering if it would disturb him.

The office building uses a credit card to enter the door, Jing Yan was stunned, he completely forgot that it was Lu Qian who brought him in last time.He took out his mobile phone to make a call, but no one answered.Jing Yan looked at his watch, it was almost time for lunch, he didn't know if Lu Qian would go downstairs, so he just sat in the lobby rest area and waited.

The people who come and go are office workers in a hurry, and no one spends much time looking at him.The rest area is at the air vent of the main door. From time to time, when someone pushes the door and comes in, there will be a gust of cold wind.The little girl welcoming guests at the counter kindly poured him a cup of hot water, and Jing Yan took it while thanking him.

The feeling of waiting is not annoying, Lu Qian used to wait for him at the school gate like this before.It's just that at that time both of them regarded waiting as an ordinary thing, but now Jing Yan added another layer of meaning to waiting, waiting can also be a kind of relief.

Jing Yan sat there nervously holding a cup, he didn't know if Lu Qian would go downstairs, but the possibility of seeing him still made him a little happier.Gradually, people began to come downstairs to get takeout or go out to eat. Jing Yan stared at the crowd without blinking, as if he saw the girl at the front desk of the law firm who had entertained him before.

He opened his mouth, but he couldn't remember the other person's name, so he didn't dare to speak.The girl quickly walked out with the crowd, Jing Yan sat back on his seat and waited, feeling a little more hopeful.

"Jing Yan? Why are you here?" Fang Fei came back from work outside and saw him as soon as he entered the building.Jing Yan stood up happily, "Hello, Uncle Fang. I'm here to find...Little Uncle."

After not saying this word for a long time, Jing Yan stumbled in his mouth.He remembered that Fang Fei probably didn't know about the two of them, so he forced a detour in what he wanted to say.

Fang Fei looked at him with a strange expression, "He asked you to come?" "No." Jing Yan shook his head, "I wanted to come to him myself, but he didn't answer the phone or text...Is he in the company? Did you go out and get busy..."

The two stood among the crowd coming and going in the lobby for a while, "He may have a meeting in the office, or I'll take you home first." Jing Yan squeezed the cup in his hand, "I'll wait for him here, Fang Uncle, go up and tell him... just wait until he finishes his work."

Fang Fei sighed, "Forget it, I'll take you up to find him." He led Jing Yan through the sensor door into the elevator, and soon arrived at the entrance of the company.There were not many people in the big office, Fang Fei nodded and greeted, and led him directly to the door of Lu Qian's room.

The man was writing with his head down, Fang Fei knocked on the door, "Jing Yan is looking for you." He winked where Jing Yan couldn't see, went out and closed the door.

"Why are you here?" Lu Qian put down his pen and didn't move, Jing Yan walked over and stood beside him, Lu Qian didn't look up at him, he just squatted down and raised his head. "It's nothing.. just want to see you.."

He squatted beside him like a lost puppy, shrunk into a small ball, with his hands resting on the railing of the chair, as if he wanted to touch him but dared not.

The tips of ten fingers were frozen red, and they were within reach.Lu Qian resisted the urge to warm his hands and stood up, but the chair was shaken by his movement, Jing Yan almost fell down when he couldn't stabilize himself.

He staggered to stand up by himself, Lu Qian went to the door and opened it, "Go home if you have nothing to do. Finished the exam? I'll take you back."

Jing Yan gripped the chair tightly with his fingers, "There is no one in the office outside..." Lu Qian looked at him with raised eyebrows, not quite understanding what he meant. "There is no one outside. Everyone has gone to eat, and no one can see me. Can I stay with you for a while..."

He didn't want to move a step, as if he was locked in place.I miss you so much, I started thinking about it in the morning, I was thinking about it during the exam, and I was thinking about you all the way here, can't you see it?

Lu Qian frowned and wanted to say something, Jing Yan thought that he was going to talk about himself like last night again, so he lowered his head and didn't dare to look at him.His eyes wandered to the table, and the mobile phone was placed beside his computer.He held his breath and stared at it.

It turns out that I'm not too busy to see the message, but I just don't want to reply to what I sent.Jing Yan seemed to finally understand something, and took a step back.He raised his head again and returned to his normal expression, "Forget it, I won't bother you anymore. You can send me back."

He kept a little gap and followed Lu Qian to the parking lot.The two of them didn't speak for a while, and he concentrated on measuring the distance between himself and him, as if he was afraid that he would be rejected if he got closer.

Lu Qian took out a pair of gloves from the car and put them next to him, "It's too cold outside, remember to wear them in the future." Jing Yan squeezed them in his hands and kept silent. He remembered that he even helped him wear the scarves in the past. .It turns out that my clinginess has reached the point of being annoying, and I don't even want to touch him.

The car drove all the way home, Jing Yan sat in the co-pilot and looked straight ahead. "I signed up for that winter camp." He didn't know why he said this, maybe he hoped that Lu Qian would be happier, or maybe it was just a random topic.

"En." Lu Qian said casually while driving, "Let Mrs. Yu pack your luggage for you in a few days." "Then don't be angry, okay...I listened to everything you said..." Jing Yan turned Looking at him, one hand clutching the seatbelt.

Almost home, Lu Qian turned into the yard, "I'm not angry. And it's your own decision whether to go or not, don't think it's a sacrifice for others." He separated the two so easily, Jing Yan panicked Zhang Di, "I know, I know, I wanted to go, I didn't say..."

"I'm home. Hurry up and go eat." The car stopped, Lu Qian interrupted him, and the door lock rang twice.Jing Yan got out of the car in a daze, and went around to the driving seat. "I'm back in the office."

He looked at the car window that was about to close, and suddenly reached out and stuck his hand on the glass.Lu Qian tapped the button quickly, "What are you doing! Did you get your hand?" He didn't care so much, opened the car door and grabbed Jing Yan's hand to see.

Jing Yan was held by him, but he didn't feel anything physically. "Come home early at night, okay? I want to have dinner with you. Or...or it's okay if you don't eat, you come back early and we can chat."

Lu Qian withdrew his hand and closed the car door, "I'll try my best." He twisted the key unsteadily, not wanting Jing Yan to see his state, and drove away at once.

Lu Qian did come back early at night, but to pack his luggage.

"Why do you have to go abroad all of a sudden, you... your company is only on the Spring Festival holiday." Jing Yan stood in the living room watching him packing things in the box, at a loss. "It's a foreign project, and I can't control whether it's a holiday in China."

He took a lot of clothes in one go, and it looked like he would be going out for a long time.Jing Yan snatched the things from his hand, Lu Qian stood still and looked at him, thinking he was about to get angry.

"Let me clean it up for you... Your clothes are all wrinkled. How long will you be going? Will you leave tomorrow? Then can you come back and see me off before I go to Beijing?" He didn't look at Lu Qian, chanting these words , but without waiting for the other party to answer, he talked to himself again.

"Pay attention to the weather outside so that you don't get sick, and don't work too hard. Can you call me on New Year's Eve...or I can call, I will choose when you are not busy in the morning. Or send a WeChat, Just say a few words..."

He didn't care whether Lu Qian replied that he promised him or not, he just said to himself, quickly folding the clothes in his hands.Lu Qian couldn't bear his self-closing appearance, took his hand, and gently pulled him into his arms. "Sorry, I can't accompany you for the holidays. It will take at least two or three weeks to leave tomorrow night."

Lu Qian answered him with a few important questions, and Jing Yan stayed in his arms for a while.It was the first hug in these days, but he didn't dare to stay for too long, he backed away a little, and when he was tired from bending over, he just knelt on the ground. "It's okay. There are still a lot of things to collect. You can bring your pants too."

The next night when he sent Lu Qian away, he behaved like he believed it himself.There were no tangled farewells, nor were there tears lost over an important holiday together.He lives his life as usual, reviewing, taking exams, checking grades, and taking vacations.

Until the day of New Year's Eve, Jing Yan flipped through their chat records, looking at the few sentences he sent each day and the one or two sentences the other party responded to.He didn't dare to post too much to brush up Lu Qian's words like before, at least he could see his avatar there as soon as he opened the interface.

Sister-in-law Yu asked him to come to her house for the festival, but Jing Yan refused and didn't let her stay with him.After eight o'clock in the evening, he calculated the time to call.He didn't call at the beginning of the new year in the early morning. It was noon in New York at that time, and he didn't know if the other party would be busy.

Lu Qian may have been up for a while, his voice is not as hoarse as in the morning, and he briefly asked himself if he was doing well.Just after talking for a while, the phone in Lu Qian's room rang, "Happy New Year." Jing Yan grabbed the phone and said something before the time came. He was afraid that he would not be able to say it if it was too late.

"You too." The phone over there was still thinking, Jing Yan knew the time to hang up, "Can you call me again at noon?" Lu Qian seemed to agree, he heaved a sigh of relief Throw your hot phone on the bed.

There are still four hours from now, and Jing Yan finally knows that waiting can be a kind of numb torture.

The author says:

No matter what happens, please give Lawyer Lu another chance in the future_(з」∠)_