Late ripening

The class representative brought in a stack of papers before the class, which contained the English composition they handed in last week.She walked around the classroom handing out homework while reading her name and student number, "Lin Jingyan, 1742." Jingyan raised his hand and quickly put it down, seeing the class representative walk by him and hand him the paper.

Two pages of sloppy English composition, with some grammatical errors circled in red pen, and a capitalized B grade at the end.Jing Yan glanced at it and stuffed it into a transparent file bag, which contained quizzes or homework from the previous semesters of the English course, and he almost got A or higher grades in most of them.

But he didn't feel any fluctuations or shyness in his heart. The teacher came in and started the class. Jing Yan lowered his head and flipped through the book with a pen, listening to every sentence like most of the other students.

I don't know where his thoughts are drifting to. Recently, he can often relax for a few hours. There is neither sadness nor joy in his mind, it is just blank and nothing.

"Jing Yan, Jing Yan." Yao Yihang shook him beside him, "Let's go, let's eat." Only then did he realize that get out of class was over.Jing Yan put away his things and followed him out of the classroom.

Yao Yihang called the basketball team while walking, and when he walked out of the classroom, he found that Jing Yan was not next to him. He looked back, Jing Yan was standing a little far away from him, and he didn't know what he was doing.

"What's the matter." He hung up the phone in a hurry and ran back a few steps, Jing Yan said reluctantly, "My stomach hurts a little, I forgot to take my medicine in the morning, let's go slowly." His stomach is always uncomfortable these days, It was probably chronic gastritis or something, and I didn't go to the hospital for a long time. When I remembered it, I went to the pharmacy to buy some medicine.

Yao Yihang was a little worried, "Did you not eat breakfast again in the morning? Let's buy more bread and put it in the dormitory." "En." Jing Yan agreed perfunctorily, but he doesn't really like processed food .

The two of them lined up in the cafeteria, and there was a long line in front of them, Jing Yan looked down at his toes moving forward little by little.When it was finally his turn, the cafeteria master asked him in a rough voice at the window what he wanted, Jing Yan felt dizzy when he raised his head, as if his blood supply was insufficient due to bowing his head for a long time.

"Preserved egg and lean meat porridge." His eyes were a little blurred, and he took a bowl of porridge and brought it to the table as steadily as possible. "Why are you eating this again? You're exhausted after you're always drinking porridge." Jing Yan didn't say anything, and he felt the same in his mouth, but there were fewer people in line, and the meal was served faster.

He took two bites with a spoon in his hand, and a couple sat down at the next table.The girl was wearing loose wide-leg pants and a pair of flip-flops dangling on her feet.Both of their plates were full of food, the girl took a bite of the chicken leg and stuffed it to the boy.

"What's the matter, isn't it delicious?" "No, I think I need to eat less fried food, my face will get acne again, and I will gain weight, so I won't be able to wear skirts next time I go out with you. "The girl smiled and ate the green vegetables.

The boyfriend on the opposite side seemed to be amused by her, and took the chicken leg back to her. "Don't you like to eat meat? Besides, I also like your chubby, so cute." After finishing speaking, she squeezed her face.Couples in the period of passionate love always have a lot of small movements when eating, and they have the courage to act like no one else.

There was only a small half of the porridge left in the bowl, and Jing Yan couldn't drink it anymore, so he walked up to the two of them when he picked up the plate and was about to leave.Obviously he didn't know these two people, but he spoke to the girl inexplicably.

"Don't eat fried chicken, you will get fat and your skin will become bad. If you become ugly, he will not like you. Don't listen to him saying that he will like you no matter what you do. It's a lie, it's impossible of."

The girl looked at him with her mouth wide open, and everyone at that table fell silent. "And the clothes you wear are really sloppy. Don't wear slippers and go out to dinner with your boyfriend in the future. It's a bit of a sense of crisis. It's impossible for someone to appreciate and tolerate you all the time."

The girl blushed, and her boyfriend stood up as if arguing with him, shouting something all the time.

"Jing Yan, Jing Yan" Yao Yihang stood up holding the plate and called him, interrupting the fantasy in his mind. "Why are you in a daze again? I see you always in a daze recently."

Jing Yan looked down at the spoonfuls of porridge in the bowl, and the couple next door were still talking happily, "Let's go." He put the bowl in the tableware recycling place, and looked back at the two people.

In his imagination, he said rude and unreasonable words to people he didn't know, and poured out the negative energy in his heart onto others.But what he said is true. He really wants to wake up all those who are trapped in love without knowing it. Every sentence the other party says is a trap. If you follow him and take a step forward, you will only be closer to the final fall Just a little.

The two of them walked back to the dormitory, and Song Bo leaned on a bicycle with his head down and flipped through his backpack. "Why are you here?" Yao Yihang took two steps forward.Song Bo raised his head with a gloomy face, "Go upstairs to your dormitory and talk."

Yao Yihang thought that something happened to him at home, and just after he closed the door of the dormitory, Song Bo took out a stack of papers from his bag, "Lin Jingyan, come and read it yourself." Holding back his anger, he put the paper on the table.

Jing Yan didn't touch it, Yao Yihang was taken aback, and reached out to take it over to look at it again, "What's wrong...it seems to be okay."

"No problem? You let him speak for himself." Song Bo sat on the chair with his arms folded, no different from any strict teacher, "Do you think that you can just find a few arguments in the search engine and fill them in? No one can find out? You are so busy with your homework that you don't even have time to think? Or you haven't thought about it at all!"

Jing Yan didn't respond at all, as if nothing the teacher said had anything to do with him.Song Bo stood up angrily at his reluctance, "Fortunately, the teacher of your class is not here these days, so I read it for him first, do you know that when you hand in this paper, it is found that not only you have to type Come back and rewrite it, and even the teacher’s impression of you will plummet.”

Song Bo wished he could grab Jing Yan's neck and force him to look up at himself, "Where did you study hard in the past? Is this the attitude you take towards your studies now? Is it true that falling in love and breaking up will kill you? What will happen to you?" I can't do it anymore!"

The dormitory was very quiet for a while, except for Song Bo's slightly heavy breathing after he got angry.Yao Yihang wanted to ease the atmosphere, "Actually..." Before he finished speaking, Jing Yu spoke in a calm tone.

"I'm not a very smart person. I worked so hard before to catch up with him earlier. Now I don't think it's necessary. Can I just pass?"

No one will work hard for things that have no results. What's the point of running forward without even seeing a little reward.He knew that he was not such a brave and fearless person. He had chased and been injured, and he never wanted to take the second step.

He showed his incompetence and cowardice bluntly and nakedly, waiting to be pushed away and despised by others, but Song Bo unexpectedly did not scold him loudly.

He put his hands on Jing Yan's shoulders and leaned a little closer to him, "Don't think so, you are really smart, you should never learn these things for others, and the ultimate goal is not to work or make money, but It’s about enriching your own life.”

It was rare for Song Bo to speak in a gentle and deep voice, and even Yao Yihang, who was used to being ridiculed by his sarcastic remarks, was stunned beside him.He didn't ask Jing Yan to raise his head, but bent down slightly to look at the other person.

"I don't know what that person said about you before, but you are really a good and kind person. You have many advantages and deserve a better life. Try harder, don't do it for anyone, just For yourself."

Anyone can find any reason to abandon you and abandon you, only "self" will not betray you.Song Bo took off his glasses, no longer looking at him through the glass lens.Jing Yan's eyeballs are a little dark brown, shining evenly and finely, Song Bo hopes that he can understand what he wants to say but hasn't said yet.

These words are not unattractive, Jing Yan was confused by these eyes.He always lowered his head, and he hasn't met other people's eyes for too long.

Perhaps Song Bo's eyes were too sincere, or he touched his head lightly with his hand after speaking, but Jing Yan didn't block those words, but put them in his heart and slowly digested them.

The day finally ended with Jing Yan agreeing to bring back the thesis and rework it. Yao Yihang heaved a sigh of relief, and on the way to send Jing Yan to the station, he quietly asked him if he was unhappy.

"No, I know Teacher Song is doing it for my own good. I'll just take it back and change it." He took the subway back home with his schoolbag on his back, but he didn't tell Mrs. Yu in advance that his phone was dead.

When she opened the door, Mrs. Yu seemed to be talking to someone, Jing Yan was frightened and stiff for more than ten seconds, standing motionless in the shadow of the door.It took a while to hear what seemed to be a phone call.

"I don't know, but he has been back on weekends for the past few weeks, and his condition looks better than before. He is still thin." The other party said something, and Mrs. Yu was a little anxious to speak again, "I said he also Don’t listen! As soon as I told him to go to the hospital, he left with a tense face. I cleaned his house that day and saw that I bought a box of stomach medicine..."

The voice gradually became quieter, then suddenly rose again, "What else can I do, Mr. Lu, leave him here and leave him alone, leaving me alone to worry and feel uncomfortable. Now it is not easy for him to go back to school, I can't force him ah!"

It really was him, even though Jing Yan expected, he still couldn't help trembling when he heard those three words.He didn't want to listen to anything else, so he closed the door gently, turned the key loudly after a while, and shouted again before opening the door, "I'm back."

Mrs. Yu hurried out from the kitchen, "Why are you back today? Have you had lunch yet..." She still held the phone in her hand, and couldn't help but look at him, "Did you lose weight again..."

Jing Yan bent down to change his shoes, "Come back and get something, and I'll be leaving in a while." Mrs. Yu was very disappointed, "Let's go after dinner, or wait until I give you some marinated chicken wings and drumsticks to take back to school to eat."

"No need, the school still has something to do at night." He went straight upstairs and returned to his room. In fact, there was nothing to do at school. He originally wanted to come back for the weekend.

The room was kept very clean by Mrs. Yu, and the sheets and quilts were changed once a week, so that he could sleep comfortably even if he only slept here for a few days.He took the book in his hand, and the medicine boxes on the table were carefully put together and put together.

This is his nominal home, but he hasn't called it "home" since a long time ago.Mrs. Yu was by his side to give him some comfort, so that he would not face an empty house and a completely empty life alone.

But his life is actually still being controlled and monitored by another person every moment, and he no longer thinks that it is care or love for him.It's probably like giving a pet to someone else, and there will always be a few days of reluctance.

Lu Qian could listen to Mrs. Yu report every detail of his life on the other end of the phone, and leave some insignificant sentences to make up for his apology.Maybe it will force him to go to the hospital to treat diseases that he has never cared about.

But these diseases will never be cured where there is Lu Qian, and they will never be healed.Even if it's just a glance from him, those wounds and ulcers will automatically and spontaneously itch.

Jing Yan came out of the house and walked back to the subway station, and made a phone call on the way.He stood on the side of the road staring at the passing cars and said a few words. After hanging up the phone, he suddenly had a thought that he might never have again.

He took a taxi to the place where Lu Qian lived. On the day he was kicked out, Lu Qian said, "This is not your home."It took about 40 minutes from here, and he wanted the driver to turn around or put him down on the spot countless times along the way, but he held back.He still wanted to go see it again.

The flowers in the community bloomed better than in the small yard, he walked along the familiar road and sat down on the stone bench next to the building.Looking up is the place where he lived for five years, Jing Yan calmly looked at the window and then at the entrance of the building.

So many memories happened here, they got angry and kissed here, walked out of that door every morning to go to school, and came back in his car at night.But no matter what happens here, it will not change. Inanimate objects do not rely on memory and emotion to exist, but they are far longer than these two.

There was a knock at the door, and Lu Qian opened it and came out.Jing Yan was not mentally prepared to see him at this time, and shrank back nervously.But he didn't look both ways, and walked directly towards the parking lot.

I haven't seen him for more than two months, and I can't see him clearly from this distance.But he didn't seem to have changed, he wasn't haggard or depressed, he was still wearing a well-tailored shirt, his hair was neatly trimmed, and he was walking forward with familiar steps.

The moment I saw him, I really wanted to cry, but Jing Yan held back.He didn't want the tears to blur his vision, and stared without blinking until he was out of sight.

The days with Lu Qian were the happiest five years in life, but both happiness and pain came from him, Jing Yan thought that maybe all the sorrows and joys in the future should be calculated by this unit.It's not enough to send yourself to the villa, you can only escape further to avoid being irradiated by him.

There was the sound of a car driving away in the distance, Jing Yan sat on the chair for a while, wiped away the tears that fell down at some point before leaving.

I've always felt that we should have a more formal goodbye and goodbye.He doesn't know how other people define solemnity, but in his heart, this is enough. It is enough for him to say something that he really wants to say in his heart.