[Ode to Joy] My surname is Tan, my ancestor's original surname is Ming

On the bank of Mochou Lake, Shuiximen Street, on the second day of the Qingming holiday, lead gray clouds sprinkled the drizzle, and the air was shrouded in smoke.

Qingshan and his party arrived in Nanjing one night earlier, and the old man Jianci fell asleep quickly, but Wang Manchun almost didn't sleep well all night.The scenes of the previous life alternated in front of her eyes between half-dream and half-awake, and in the end, she always returned to the last second before her death, with blood gushing from her chest, and she stared at Minglou with no regrets.

Top-heavy with a little insomnia, Wang Manchun stepped into the Memorial Hall of the Victims in the Nanjing Massacre.Entering the door is a huge 11-meter-high statue named "Family Broken" with four lines of inscription:

the slain son never regenerates

Husband Buried Alive Never Regenerates

Misery is left to the wife who was raped by the devil

oh my god...

A few words set the black tone of this journey.

In the sculpture square less than [-] meters away, women are crying in broad daylight, with projections of Japanese military caps on their disheveled bodies; captives kneeling with their hands behind their backs, some of them decapitated; Japanese soldiers wielding shovels In the pit filled with earth, the buried women and men raised their heads high; the dying mother fed the last drop of milk into the mouth of the child, and the gang-raped girl jumped into the well in despair. The monk closed his grievance eyes for the deceased, and the grandson fled in panic with his already cold grandmother on his back, but he couldn't escape the light of the blade above his head after all...

She used to believe that in the chaotic world where the weak preyed on the strong, all she faced were desperadoes who didn't care about the future. She still had to admit that Wang Manchun personally added bricks and tiles to the Shura field that swallowed up so many compatriots, and contributed her strength in the way of loyalty to the devil.

Many people were already in tears, including Kenji Haruyama who was sitting in a wheelchair, Shunichi Haruyama who was pushing a wheelchair, and Riko Haruyama's eyes were already red.Only Wang Manchun didn't cry, there were no tears in her eyes, and her heart was full of fear.

But no matter how frightened she was, she still held on to the ticket and stepped into the deeper part of the memorial hall step by step.

She walked past the black marble wall, on which the same sentence was repeatedly written in 11 languages, "300000 victims", "300000 victims", "Vittimetrecentomila", "Victimastrcientosmiles"...

She looked up at the gray cross, with bones buried under it, and the six most unbearable weeks in the city were engraved on the cross, "1937.12.13-1938.1".

She stood in front of the 150-meter-long list wall. There were 30 names on the wall, representing 1 innocent souls. Many unnamed surnames died silently. Many huge families , disappeared overnight, there are countless so-and-so's younger brother, so-and-so's daughter, so-and-so's wife, and so-and-so's father on the wall. There, the souls of a family only meet again on the Wailing Wall. 20 victims, [-] names, the wall has been growing for [-] years, but it will never be able to write the tragic truth of that winter in Nanjing City.

Wang Manchun stretched out his hand slowly, but he didn't dare to touch those cold stone walls after all.In the distance, Qingshan Kenji was already struggling to stand up from the wheelchair, dragging his stiff legs and walking towards the Wailing Wall. Every step was trembling, and every step was an atonement. In the bleak wind, the old man slowly knelt down, his knees Pressed on the cold ground, shoulders and neck bent, weeping, while behind him, Junichi Qingshan, Riko Qingshan, and even the Japanese nanny and Japanese nurse accompanying him all knelt down with him.

Wang Manchun stood alone in the corner. She felt oppressed and suffocated. She looked up at the sky, and the drizzle fell on her face like the blood dripping from her fingertips back then.

"My father is exhausted, so we won't go to the exhibition later." Junyi Qingshan asked for her opinion, "Would Miss Fan come with us and take a rest at Jilingquan?"

"No thanks. I'd like to take another look."

When walking towards the burial pit, she looked back at Junichi Qingshan.He stood by the Jiling Spring and watched him from a distance, with a little uneasiness and concern.She knew that she had a bad complexion, but everyone who went to the bone pit had a sad face.The [-]-square-meter pit is densely covered with bones, stacked, twisted, and scattered, with traces of bayonets and nails. The black eye sockets are looking at the sky. They are people who died innocently, but they will never die. shout.

The hand holding the guardrail trembled, and she couldn't restrain the urge to jump off.There are two hundred and eight corpses buried in this small room, and a huge pit for thousands of people is buried under this hall. There are too many souls of the dead who cannot rest in peace. She seems to be able to hear the gunshots of her shooting dozens of prisoners at a time.At that time, Minglou suddenly appeared, she was embarrassed and flustered, afraid that he would see such a cruel side of herself—it wasn't that she didn't know right from wrong, and didn't distinguish between good and evil, but why did she go on wrong step by step like this, walking further and further away? , Doing more and more terribly, in the end I can't stop and can't turn back, no one saves her, no one helps her, she bears too many lives, she betrays her own country, she is Minglou's enemy, she is this national sinner.

Just because her surname is Wang?Just because she owed Wang Fuju the grace of raising her?Just because she was rejected by the powerful Der Spiegel?Just because the young Minglou gave up on her and didn't elope with her? !If these can be the reason, why can't she face the long list of bones, and Qingshan Kenji, who knelt down and made atonement? Why would she rather lie than tell the truth to the one who likes her so much, protects her and treats her kindly? Tan Zongming? !

Don't blame others, blame yourself.Just like Minglou, it's not that they have no choice, but for Minglou, since the body is Xu Guo, it's hard to be Xu Qing again, and she sold her soul to the devil, leaving herself no qualification to love again.They each chose the two farthest roads in the world, and talking about who hurts the other is just an excuse to avoid the important.

From the moment she was reborn as Fan Shengmei, she should have understood this truth.

Looking around, the entire memorial hall is quiet and solemn, with sadness and thought on everyone's faces.The War of Resistance Against Japan has ended for 71 years. It is almost impossible for the original sinners, who are willing to repent or not, to come here again. No one can imagine what kind of hesitation this young woman standing alone on the sacrificial field is going through. , tearing, pain and despair.She didn't know where she came from, where she was going, and why she was standing here; she didn't know why she was still alive, her family, lover, and enemy were all left 76 years ago, and only the infinite was brought into this life. Endless sin and loneliness, not daring to love, not being able to love, not having anything to love in life, not being afraid to die, her life should have come to an end long ago, to live on despite her crimes is a crueler punishment than cut to pieces.

His legs finally couldn't bear the weight, and Wang Manchun slowly knelt down on the ground.

"Sister Fan?" Qingshan Lizi's voice came from far to near, breaking her confusion, "Brother said you are not in good condition and let me come and see you. What is wrong with you? I will help you go back."

Wang Manchun stooped and put his hands on the ground, not even caring whether such a gesture was impolite, "I want to go back to Shanghai directly."

"Back to Shanghai? Now?" Lizi Qingshan was very surprised. According to the plan, they will stay in Nanjing for one night so that his father can recuperate. Let's go tomorrow?"

"No, I want to go back to Shanghai."

There was too much resentment echoing in the sky of the city, not only could she not breathe, she felt that she would lose control and go crazy at any time.

Even if she has nothing else to do in this life, she doesn't want to bother anyone anymore.

Qingshan and his son were very surprised by her sudden decision to go back to Shanghai, but Wang Manchun's expression was extremely bad but he was extremely stubborn, and neither of them could persuade her anymore. Qingshan Junyi asked the driver to drive his car and asked Lizi to accompany her back to Shanghai first.

Wang Manchun was noncommittal about his considerate care, and he didn't say a word during the three hours back to Shanghai.Lizi stayed by her side every step of the way, and didn't dare to say much, but asked her if she was thirsty, hungry, dizzy or not, and if she wanted to get out of the car to breathe.

What a warm and lovely girl, how can she be the granddaughter of Nantian Yoko, she smiles like a little sun and warms everyone's heart, she has never seen how her grandmother burned, killed, looted and took away countless people life.

Just like everyone in this world who knows Fan Shengmei will not know what a stupid and despicable soul lived in this body.

Back in Ode to Joy, Lizi insisted on sending Wang Manchun upstairs and into 2202 on the grounds that "this is my brother's request, if I can't do it, he will beat me".Lizi was surprised that such a shrewd and capable Manager Fan lived in such a cramped and shabby place, but she was kind and simple and didn't say anything.Andy was working overtime, Qu Xiaoxiao was on vacation, Guan Juer and Qiu Yingying were home, the entire 22nd floor was just like any holiday, only Wang Manchun was alone, Lizi was distressed to help her boil water, make tea, and wanted to order dinner for her , Wang Manchun refused.She locked herself in the small room separated by sliding doors, "Lizi, I want to be alone for a while, you can go back."

This is not the manager Fan she knew, Lizi faintly felt that something was wrong, where did her demeanor, etiquette, vigor and even a touch of indifference go?The whole person seemed to be drained of all vitality, tired and lifeless.But Wang Manchun didn't explain and even didn't allow her to approach, so she could only withdraw quietly, cautiously and worriedly.

Just when she was about to go out, Wang Manchun's handbag in the hallway heard a vibrating buzz from her phone.The phone vibrated several times along the way, but Wang Manchun didn't answer it.Lizi glanced at Wang Manchun's closed door, and gently opened her handbag.

There are a series of missed calls on the screen of the phone, and a WeChat message just received——

"Fan Shengmei, if you don't answer the phone, don't expect me to tell you about Mingcheng in the future."

Mingcheng?Lizi was stunned.

The author has something to say:

This chapter is a high-energy early warning, and those with poor psychological endurance should enter cautiously.