I may not be human [holographic]

"Star mark time, six o'clock sharp."

Lin Zhengyan slowly opened his eyes, staring at the familiar ceiling in front of him with some hesitation.

The inexplicable loss in his heart made him feel a little sad. He couldn't explain why, but he felt as if... something important had been lost.

Someone moved around him, Lin Zhengyan immediately looked back.

I saw Shi Changan lying sideways beside him, leaning against the light golden sun outside the window, staring at him with incomparable concentration.

Seeing Lin Zhengyan go online, Shi Changan twitched the corners of his mouth and revealed a faint smile.

"morning."

He said softly, then leaned forward and placed a light kiss on Lin Zhengyan's lips.

Lin Zhengyan also turned sideways, lay down face to face with Shi Changan, and smiled, "Good morning."

Seeing Chang'an watching him silently, and not speaking for a long time, Lin Zhengyan pursed his lips and asked, "Yesterday...did you win?"

After a while, Shi Changan gave a low "hmm".

Lin Zhengyan stretched out his hand, wrapped his arms around Shi Changan's waist, and gave him a gentle hug.

"I know you can understand my intention." He whispered: "In that case, this is the best solution."

Shi Changan hugged Lin Zhengyan back, sighed helplessly, and stroked the top of his hair with the corner of his lips.

"Actually, I would rather lose the game." He said, "I don't want to see you die."

Lin Zhengyan said: "I didn't feel it. This time I died in battle, it may be because in the mecha, when the durability was declared to be zero, I was just suddenly stunned... Actually, I didn't feel anything, just like..."

"Stop talking." Shi Chang'an's voice was a little dull: "Stop talking, I don't want to hear it. Tell me something happy."

"Hmm..." Lin Zhengyan stopped talking, and after a moment, he opened his mouth and said, "When I opened my eyes, I saw you here with me, very happy."

Shi Chang'an trembled undetectably, and then he turned over and pressed Lin Zhengyan under him, and kissed his lips gently but unquestionably.

After a long time, the long kiss ended, and the lips of the two touched each other several times before they were completely separated.

"Lin Zhengyan..."

Shi Chang'an called out in a low voice: "Zhengyan, Yanyan..."

Lin Zhengyan replied with some amusement: "Well, Chang'an."

Hearing this address, Shi Changan was taken aback, then chuckled suddenly, and said, "Yes, call me Chang Fan. Or... call me Third Brother?"

Lin Zhengyan didn't understand, so he asked, "Why the third brother?"

Shi Chang'an pondered for a moment, then said in a low voice, "Because I'm the third brother at home, so you can call me third brother."

Lin Zhengyan lowered his eyes and said, "...I'd better call you Chang'an."

Shi Changan was not disappointed, and the smile in his eyes deepened: "Okay, anyway...my name is Chang Fan. The usual Chang, the familiar."

Hearing this, Lin Zhengyan couldn't help being stunned.

Shi Changan went on to say, "I am a retired military officer. If you go back and look up this name on the Internet, you will know who I am."

Lin Zhengyan was silent.

Shi Changan waited for a long time, and finally couldn't help asking in a low voice: "What about you?" His tone was almost cautious: "...What's your name?"

Another long silence.

In the extremely quiet room, there were only the peaceful breathing of two people.But they are all extremely light and superficial, as if they are afraid of disturbing something extremely fragile and breakable at the slightest touch.

After a long time, Lin Zhengyan murmured: "Didn't it be agreed that you won't ask me about real things?"

Shi Changan closed his eyes, covering the bitterness in his eyes.

"You...don't even want to tell me your name?"

His voice was lower than when he asked the question just now, as if he was not asking, but talking to himself.If it wasn't right next to his ear, Lin Zhengyan would hardly be able to tell what he was saying.

After a long silence, Lin Zhengyan said in a low voice, "This is my name, my name is Lin Zhengyan."

Shi Changan asked, "Is this the same name in reality?"

in reality……

Lin Zheng was speechless.

He has no so-called reality at all, so where does he get his name in reality?

Lin Zhengyan's hesitation was interpreted by Shi Changan as the embarrassment of the lie being exposed.

He stretched out his hand to cover Lin Zhengyan's cheek, stroked it lightly, and asked hoarsely, "Did you...have never thought...to meet me in reality?"

Lin Zhengyan only felt that his heart was trembling.

thought about it.

Of course he thought about it, and he wanted to think about it very much... He always had such thoughts recently.

——If I exist in reality.

——Why can't I exist in reality?

As long as such thoughts come up, he will always feel suffocated for a while.

It was like being submerged in endless sea water, my whole body was cold, and it was difficult to breathe. I just felt extremely weak and helpless.

A burning dull pain suddenly appeared in his throat, Lin Zhengyan couldn't help but raise his hand to hold his heart.

"Do you really... want to stay in the game like this all the time... and get along with me?" Shi Changan turned and faced the ceiling and lay flat on the bed, raised one arm to cover his eyes, but still insisted on asking : "You never thought that we might...could... fall in love in reality?"

Lin Zhengyan felt that indescribable dizziness again.But now he has no time to take care of this feeling, he only eagerly hopes that he can say something to refute Shi Changan.

But he couldn't open his mouth.

Because even if he refuted it, he admitted that he wanted to go into reality, but in fact it was useless.

In fact, a selfish person is always himself.

Lin Zhengyan looked at Shi Changan's side face with his hands up to cover his eyes, and thought to himself: Obviously, I know that I can't have a future, and I can't have a reality, but I still drag Shi Changan into it because of my fascination. into this abyss of pain.

- Deserves to suffer.

But, is this mistake going to continue like this?

Shi Changan was already so sad, it really... shouldn't continue.

Long-term pain is worse than short-term pain...isn't it?

"Shi Chang'an." Lin Zhengyan finally opened his mouth with difficulty: "You want a realistic relationship, you want...in reality, falling in love...marrying...right?"

Shi Changan still covered his eyes with his arms, and after a long time, he let out a barely audible "hmm".

Lin Zhengyan bit his lips, and said in the most indifferent and indifferent voice he could, "Then, I'll let you go."

Let... I go?

Shi Chang'an couldn't grasp the meaning of this sentence for a while.

He was dazed for a moment, then suddenly propped himself up on the bed and sat up on his knees, looking at Lin Zhengyan with some puzzlement, his mind went blank.

"...What?" He murmured as if he couldn't believe his ears, "What do you mean...?"

Lin Zhengyan's eyes were slightly closed, and after a long while, he opened his mouth again in a low voice: "I know it's selfish to do so, but I... I don't want to be with you, so I don't want to develop into reality. I have difficulties, and I know it too Not fair to you. If you don't like this, I can leave now..."

"To shut up!"

Shi Changan interrupted Lin Zhengyan's words, grabbed Lin Zhengyan's skirt and lifted him up from the bed, but when he saw Lin Zhengyan's slightly frowning brows, his heart softened suddenly, and he stretched out his arms to hug him.

He suppressed the feeling of trepidation, and said quickly: "Don't say it again, such words... don't say it again."

Lin Zhengyan rested his chin on Shi Changan's shoulder, felt the other person's embrace trembling violently, and finally couldn't bear to say more outrageous words.

When Shi Chang'an hugged Lin Zhengyan tightly, he rarely had any charming thoughts, only filled with inexplicable fear that came from nowhere.

He even wanted to contact his friends right away to investigate everything about Lin Zhengyan in reality, so as to hold tightly in his hands this child who seemed likely to leave him anytime and anywhere.

However, investigating the access address of the game helmet is not as easy as he casually said.That approach would not only violate the federal cybersecurity law, but also require him to use his identity as the third young master of the Chang family to owe someone a favor.As for these people, one day he will need to pay back as Chang's family members.

However, more importantly than these, he promised Lin Zhengyan that he would not investigate his actual affairs.

So unless it was absolutely necessary, he couldn't investigate.

"I just fell asleep." Shi Changan forced a chuckle, and the lie came at his fingertips: "Actually, I don't care if it's real or not. If you are willing to be with me in the game, I just... I think it's good too. Yes. Well... that's it, it's good. Don't put too much pressure on me, I was just joking."

Lin Zhengyan sighed lightly: "But I'm like this..."

"Don't talk about breaking up again." Shi Chang'an said anxiously: "We've only just started our relationship, and you're breaking up after we haven't dated a few times, I'm so hurt!"

Lin Zhengyan pushed Shi Changan helplessly, trying to push him away from him.

At that time, Chang'an tightly hugged Lin Zhengyan's arm, not letting go, and said in a nasal voice like a child coquettishly: "I won't let go! Unless you promise me that you won't break up with me again, I'll keep hugging like this forever." you!"

"Ugh……"

Lin Zhengyan looked up at the ceiling.

There was a piece of glass outside the window reflecting the rising sun, which hit the smooth and clean ceiling, forming an irregular peach heart.

"Okay, I won't mention it." He reached out and patted Shi Changan on the back, and said in a low voice: "We don't break up, we... continue to be in love."

Shi Changan sniffed, buried his forehead into Lin Zhengyan's neck, and rubbed it a few times.

This action of his made Lin Zhengyan couldn't help but laugh: "How grown up, why are you still acting like a little girl?"

Shi Changan finally raised his head from Lin Zhengyan's arms, squinted his eyes, stretched out his hand to pinch Lin Zhengyan's chin, twitched the corners of his lips, and showed a smirk: "Who are you talking about as a little girl? Sooner or later you will know who is a girl." who……"

When he saw that Chang'an's face didn't even have a single trace of haze, Lin Zhengyan suddenly felt that he might have been deceived just now, right?

That's right, Shi Chang'an has always been like this. He lies without making drafts. He has a playful smile every day. There seems to be endless vitality and sunshine in his body. stabbed?

So, what was said just now was actually a trick to make progress by retreating...?

……

In a room somewhere, it was the darkest time before dawn.

The quiet room was lit with a warm yellow light, and a tall man was reclining in a soft recliner, leaning against the back of the chair in an extremely comfortable posture.

His legs were covered with a thin blanket, covering his entire lower body. On his head was a thin, silver helmet with the logo of "Starscar Era" printed on it, and several cables were connected around it.

The helmet's indicator light flickered lightly, and a few words were displayed on it—in the game.

There was a sound of insects outside the window, and then disappeared suddenly.

The man's head turned slightly unconsciously, and the fingers resting on the armrest of the recliner slowly clenched into fists.

After a while, silently, a drop of water seeped out from the seam under the helmet, ran down the man's slightly trembling jaw, ran across his neck, slipped into the neckline, and disappeared without a trace.