Crane Chong dressed as a villain and a foolish king

Zhuang Heng's hand is very steady, the blade is pressed against Qi An's scalp without trembling at all, but Qi An's legs are already weak from fright, he is both civil and military, but those are all the necessary courses for a gentleman's six arts. A little bit, but I haven't been on the battlefield yet. A real knife and a real gun may not have the courage to pierce the enemy. To put it bluntly, the martial arts he learned are all ostentatious. If he can really fight and kill, he will not become a dog of the national teacher leg.

Zhuang Heng closed his eyes, listened to his gradually heavy breathing, smiled inwardly, and suddenly shouted: "Ah!"

"Ahhhh——" Qi An, who was so tense that he almost peed his pants in fright, blurted out and followed suit. After shouting, seeing Zhuang Heng staring at him and smiling, he hurriedly shut up again, his red face froze for a while. The fire is burning.

He stared at Zhuang Heng angrily, thinking that this swindling fairy would have killed him long ago. He did this just to tease himself. There is nothing to be afraid of. Thinking of this, he regained his courage, and smiled contemptuously at the corner of his mouth: "What kind of skill is playing tricks on people, if you have the guts, just kill me."

"Hey, I've scared you. You're talking nonsense. I just wanted to shave your head. What are you screaming for?" Zhuang Heng patted his head kindly and saw his neck move. Not daring to move, I couldn't help laughing again, "It just occurred to me that you are so scared, I can demonstrate it to you first, and you will know that my hands are not steady."

Qi An could roughly guess the meaning of "demonstration", and said coldly: "How to demonstrate? Don't play tricks!"

Zhuang Heng took the knife away and looked around at him: "Let's put it on your left side. There is shade on the left side, so it's cooler." He moved his hands over there as if holding something.

Qi An was about to mock him for playing tricks, but suddenly there was another person out of nowhere, he was so frightened that before he had time to catch his breath, he found that the person looked exactly like himself, and he was so horrified that his hairs stood on end.

Ji Dashi suddenly said: "Xianjun, you see there is another Qi'an, the previous one is useless and not obedient, why not us..."

Zhuang Heng turned around holding the knife: "Eat him?"

Qi An stared at the twins who stood with eyes closed, his teeth began to chatter, while Junetian stood under the scorching sun, but his back was wet with cold sweat continuously.

Ji Dashi smacked his lips: "Eat it, let's kill it, we are short of food, if we can lose one mouth, we will lose one mouth."

Zhuang Heng nodded: "Okay, I'll shave Qi An's brother first."

As he spoke, he turned the shiny kitchen knife in his hand, closed his eyes and stuck the blade to the head, and began to shave with a "swipe, brush, brush". He could shave himself clean without looking in the mirror. It was no problem to shave others. It didn't take long for the dummy to lose a lot of long hair. With his familiar and neat movements, the dummy's smooth scalp was gradually revealed.

Barrage [-]: [Hua Hua] nice, and invited the twins to act as an extra, Heng Heng, you have successfully attracted the attention of this bald girl!

Barrage [-]: [Huahua] Hahahahahahaha help!Is the fear on Qi An's face real?

Barrage 1: [Hua Hua] Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! [-] shit is not enough to express my mood!Hengheng, your knife skills have a golden finger, right?

Barrage [-]: [Huahua] Woohoo, I now believe that Hengheng is really a chef!What restaurant are you at!Give me a chance to spend!

The live broadcast room was bustling like boiling water, Zhuang Heng was calm and focused, Ji Dashi and his brothers looked excited, the only one in the scene who was in a bad mood was Qi An, who closed his eyes after Zhuang Heng shaved his last hair After scraping the scalp with a knife and sweeping it clean, Qi An rolled his eyes and fell straight on the ground with a "boom".

Live Room: Hahahahahahahahaha...

When Qi An woke up again, the meal was finished, Ji Dashi strode over wiping the glistening oil on his mouth, and slapped him on the head: "This kid is awake, drag him out and kill him! "

Zhuang Heng nodded: "Okay, anyway, Qi An's brother is still there, so it's the same to ask his brother if you have any questions." He picked up the bowl, picked up the chopsticks and turned to look at the bald man next to him, "Qi An'an, wake up ,time to eat."

Qi An's forehead was twitching, and his mind was buzzing non-stop. This fairy is too wicked. He felt that when Zhuang Heng said the word "wake up", that person would definitely be slammed even if he was squeezed out of mud. Immediately open your eyes obediently.

But the truth is, after Zhuang Heng finished speaking, he went to pick the eyelids of the dummy, but was frightened out of his wits: "Fucking shit!"

AI then shouted: [Ahhhh——]

Zhuang Heng: [What the hell is going on?Why does the dummy have no eyeballs, and there is only a white ball inside, if you want to scare me to death, let me just tell you! ]

ai: [Fake, fake people are like this, they just fool people with their appearance, it is impossible to be exactly like a real person. ]

Zhuang Heng: […]

Ji Dashi leaned over: "Xianjun, what is a fucking mud horse?"

The corners of Zhuang Heng's eyes twitched violently, he quickly closed his eyes, raised his head and said in a mysterious way: "The horse lying on the trough is covered in mud. This is a secret, and we can only reveal a little bit. It means that it will rain heavily in the near future. That's why the horses are covered in mud, and I can't say much else."

Ji Dashi suddenly realized: "So it is!"

ai: "...soon, this time is so wide."

After Zhuang Heng fooled Ji Dashi, he went to Qi An's side and continued to fool him: "Just now, Qi Anan told me that the seal on that letter is true, and you are worthless, hacked to death, stabbed to death, hanged to death, poisoned to death , choose one yourself."

Ji Dashi led a group of brothers to surround him: "Why should the lord be merciful? He didn't intend to give you a way out when he informed the national teacher."

Qi An was so frightened that his eyes became dizzy: "..."

You didn't leave me a way out either!

Ji Dashi flashed his knife with a "swipe": "Brothers, let's just hack him to death!"

With the sound of swords being unsheathed several times in a row, a mottled shadow fell over Qi An's head. He raised his head with a pale face, and seeing those sharp blades about to fall, he screamed in fright: "Don't kill me! Don't kill me! Qi An moved Don’t move, I’m more useful than him!”

Seeing that he didn't respond to the seal, Zhuang Heng could be sure that it was true, and when he said "Qi Anan" so slickly, he almost laughed out loud, and hurriedly tightened his face: "What's the use of you? "

Qi An was so frightened that his mouth became sluggish, and he stammered, "I, I, I, I can serve tea, pour water, pick up a brush and study ink for Xianjun. I have read history books, can draw maps, am proficient in arithmetic, can speak the dialects of various countries, and can also read the history books. ..."

"Stop!" Zhuang Heng interrupted him, and smiled, "That's right, you can stay, I'll put it away for now if I'm uneasy."

Seeing the swords hanging above his head retracted one by one, Qi An heaved a sigh of relief and almost collapsed.

Zhuang Heng said again: "I will untie you, but Qi An'an is your avatar and is closely related to you. If you are not honest, I will tear him into mud. As much pain as he has, you will suffer as much. , do you remember?"

Qi An nodded in a daze, and after finally regaining consciousness, he tentatively asked: "Then Xianjun... can he deal with the national teacher in the same way?"

Zhuang Heng smiled convincingly: "Of course I can, but I'm very busy and don't have time to deal with him. Don't ask too many questions. If you ask again, I will suspect you of being dishonest."

Qi An immediately shut his mouth tightly.

After solving Qi'an and confirming the authenticity of the seal, Zhuang Heng immediately asked Ji Dashi to act according to the emperor's wishes. It would be several days after all the refugees were settled properly, the city gates were opened, and order was restored.

Standing on the tower, Zhuang Heng looked at the new residents outside the city who were working in the fields. They looked honest and diligent. He couldn't help looking up at the sky and trying to recall the details of the original text: [These people should be the perverted emperors Are you stockpiling soldiers?I'm a little fucking upset. I originally did something good out of kindness, but somehow I was tied to a boat with the emperor? ]

ai: [But Master, you are indeed doing good deeds!Whose ship is it? ]

Zhuang Heng thought it made sense, and nodded: [However, it is impossible for the Son of Heaven to have such a small number of soldiers. In the life before King Qi was reborn, he turned from a useless puppet to an emperor who conquered all the princes in the world. So few people without weapons?Going out is not enough for the enemy's teeth. ]

ai hit the nail on the head: [Such a small number of people are almost eating up all the waste!You can't afford any more! ]

Zhuang Heng: […]

After a moment of silence, Zhuang Heng lowered his eyes and saw Ji Dashi leading a group of people coming down the mountain from a distance, narrowing his eyes slightly: "No, I don't want to have anything to do with perverts, anyway, this place is already on the right track, and it's not my fault." No, why should I make myself suffer, why not go to Da Kei and the little brother, you see Ji Dashi and the others can hunt by themselves after a few days of tossing around."

The population of the abandoned capital has doubled all of a sudden, but Zhuang Heng's supply of rice grains is limited. Ji Dashi scratched his head worrying about the granary that was about to run out. Fortunately, there were still some dilapidated old weapons in the warehouse. Pick up all of them, select the most capable young men and distribute them one by one, and take a large group of people to go hunting in the mountains. They didn't gain much in the past few days, but they gradually gained experience. Today, they even carried several big prey downhill.

Zhuang Heng could feel their excitement from a distance.

A group of people marched into the city in a mighty way, and met Qi An head-on. Ji Dashi knew that Qi An was very honest recently, so he accepted him with a belly. After all, Qi An was the only cultural person in the entire abandoned city, and Xianjun was quite fancy. Yes, of course he can't make things difficult, and even greeted each other with a smile when they met.

Qi An didn't appreciate it very much, he quickly avoided it, and explained with a cold face: "I'm here to find Xianjun."

At present, Qi An only obeys Zhuang Heng, and he doesn't pretend to be polite to others. Ji Dashi doesn't take it as a pest, and asks someone to carry the prey away, and walks over and says, "Xianjun is on the tower, I will go with you."

Qi An silently rolled his eyes and climbed up the tower.

Zhuang Heng turned around when he heard the movement: "You two came just in time, I have something to tell you."

Just as Qi An took out something from his sleeve, he stopped his movements upon hearing this.

"I plan to leave here for a while." Zhuang Heng paused, "Qian, what are you holding?"

Ji Dashi looked shocked: "Xianjun, where are you going!"

"Madam He picked it up by the lake." Qi An handed a porcelain bottle to Zhuang Heng.

Zhuang Heng took it to look at it, and felt that the style of the painting was very familiar. He subconsciously pulled out the plug, and sure enough, he took out a letter from inside. He shook the letter away, and handed it to Qi An without looking at it: "Read it to me."

Qi An didn't know that he was illiterate, so he didn't think much about it. He took the letter and read it: "It's a secret letter from the Son of Heaven. The Son of Heaven is very pleased to hear about the kind deeds of the Immortal Monarch. He bestows two mansions, and invites the Immortal Monarch to go there." In the capital city, the Son of Heaven wants to meet Xianjun."

Ji Dashi's eyes glowed: "There are actually two mansions! Where are they?"

Qi An said: "There is a capital city and an abandoned capital, both of which are next to the royal palace."

Ji Dashi was so excited that he thumped his fist: "Xianjun, hurry up! The emperor has taken a fancy to you!"

Zhuang Heng: "..."

No, I don't want to.

Ji Dashi had a natural awe of the royal power, and he took it for granted that he must obey the royal order. After a while, he hurriedly ran down the tower, and bluffed: "Hurry up, prepare a carriage for the emperor! It must be spacious and comfortable! Pick some elite soldiers to accompany you as escorts!"

Seeing Zhuang Heng's eyes closed and his expression of resistance, Qi An was puzzled: "Xianjun?"

Zhuang Heng opened his eyes: "Go, you come with me."

Qi An was pleasantly surprised, and quickly expressed his loyalty: "Thank you Xianjun for your appreciation! If you have anything to do, just ask Xianjun!"

Ji Dashi pressed hard, and the carriage was soon ready, with all the furnishings inside, and the escorting cavalry arrived quickly. Ji Dashi was originally reluctant to leave Zhuang Heng, but now he was so happy that he wanted to send him away immediately.

Zhuang Heng got into the carriage, feeling very tired.

Zhuang Heng left the abandoned capital, and the people in the city saw each other for ten miles, reluctant to leave. The scene was spectacular. After the carriage went a little further until the figure behind disappeared, Zhuang Heng immediately opened the curtain: "Go north at the fork ahead. !"

Qi An, who was sitting in the car at the back, was slightly taken aback when he heard it, and hurriedly jumped out of the car and ran over: "Xianjun, we are heading north to Shen Guo, we should go all the way east."

Zhuang Heng was expressionless: "What are you doing to the east?"

Qi An felt that something was wrong: "...Naturally, I want to go to the capital."

Zhuang Heng smiled coldly: "I said I'm going to the capital?"

Qi An blinked: "This..."

Zhuang Heng picked up the fan made of his own feathers and shook it: "Is your emperor's brain flooded? You are sneaky in announcing the decree. Do you have any respect for the fairy king? If he is sent in from the gate of the city dignifiedly, I will return it." Would consider going there, just drop a bottle here and I'll hold it gratefully? What's the big dream?"

Qi An: "..."

The accompanying people obeyed Zhuang Heng's words, and sure enough, the carriage turned around soon after, and Qi An finally regained the ability to organize words: "Xianjun, the emperor must have done this because he didn't want the national teacher to know about it, and it was for the Xianjun's sake." Think about safety!"

Zhuang Heng changed his hand to shake the fan: "It's unnecessary, he thinks I can't beat the national teacher? Why should I go over if you look down on me so much?"

Qi An: "..."

It's kind of fucking reasonable.

But after all, he is the Son of Heaven...

Forget it, this is Xianjun.

Qi An talked to himself, silently adjusted his mentality, and couldn't help but asked curiously: "What is Xianjun going to Shenguo for?"

Zhuang Heng smiled: "Which places are the closest to Waste Capital? Which one is the richest?"

Qi An knew how to draw a map, and he just drew it for Zhuang Heng yesterday, so he naturally had a clear mind: "The capital city, Dai country, Shen country, and Liang country. The richest city is naturally the capital city, but if the national teacher doesn't want to go, he can only choose from the rest of the country. Among the three, Liang State is in the west, adjacent to the barbarians, with a vast and barren land. Dai State is the closest to the abandoned capital, but its national strength is weak and not rich. The people are quite rich...but what is the national teacher going there for? The state of Shen is not stable recently, the emperor favors the young son of the state of Shen, and forces the marquis of Shen to confiscate the land. There is still a lot of land, and the other princes of the state of Shen are not happy. It's making a fuss."

Zhuang Heng also heard about this, and couldn't help complaining quietly: [It's great to be a faint king, you can do whatever you want. ]

ai echoed: [Yes, I'm so envious! ]

Zhuang Heng's thoughts suddenly turned around: [Mr. Shen Guo is being favored now, and the little brother is expected to stay in the palace alone when he enters the palace. His future is uncertain...]

ai: [Oh...that's right...]

Zhuang Heng: [Thinking about it, I'm a little happy. ]

ai: […]

Seeing him distracted, Qi An asked doubtfully, "Xianjun?"

Zhuang Heng blinked: "Oh, Shen Guo is in chaos, the more chaos the better, we can take the opportunity to make a fortune if we go."

Qi An didn't expect Xianjun to be so down-to-earth, and he was dumbfounded for a moment: "How to make a fortune? Does Xianjun have any way to make money?"

Zhuang Heng: "Tsk, I didn't expect you to be a nerd, just because I am a fairy, what other way to make money?" He exchanged a large pot of cherries from the system, and said generously, "Take it and share it."

Qi An stared blankly at the attractive cherry, swallowed his saliva and stretched out his hand to take it. After tasting one, his eyes lit up instantly, unable to hold back his excitement, he said in a trembling voice: "This fruit will definitely be exchanged for the fairy. A lot of money!"

Zhuang Heng shook his fan and smiled lightly: "Where is this? This is just an appetizer."

Qi An heard his blood racing, and immediately excitedly took the cherries to distribute.

Zhuang Heng put down the curtain, took out Xiao Lang's duplicate body, sat and ate cherries facing him, and shook his head while eating: "Little brother, you are so unlucky."

The replica moved its fingers slightly, but Zhuang Heng didn't notice it, and held a cherry in front of him and shook it: "Are you envious? Do you want to eat it? Aww... I won't give it to you."

AI suddenly made a sound: [Eh?The little brother's eyeballs seemed to move, I must be dazzled. ]

Zhuang Heng spit out the cherry pits into the bowl, and stretched out his hand to pick "Xiao Lang"'s eyelids indifferently: "It's just white eyes, who are you fooling, you...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

The cavalrymen outside the carriage were puzzled when they heard him talking to himself, and suddenly heard this sentence again, looked up at the sky, turned around and said: "The fairy said that it is going to rain, everyone, get ready your rain gear, I will go ahead to explore the road, find A shelter from the rain!"

Inside the carriage, Zhuang Heng pressed his back against the wall of the carriage: [What the hell is going on with you!Didn't the clones that were promised have eyeballs?ah? ]

ai trembled: [I, I don't know, why does my little brother keep making bugs?It's none of my business! ]

Zhuang Heng moved towards the door of the car, with a weak face: [I was wrong, I shouldn't have a baby...it will be haunted...]

The author has something to say: Qi An: I became a younger brother when I was caught off guard.

Qi An'an: I was hidden by the snow, woo woo woo...

Knife: I'm dirty, but it's okay, I still have brothers.

Brother Lang: I'm here, please close your eyes.

Oh heh heh heh heh heh [laughing pervertedly]