my high math teacher

The unfamiliar environment made it difficult for Liu Yifeng to fall asleep, but listening to the music in the earphones, she gradually fell asleep.

The strange touch on his body caused Liu Yifeng to wake up leisurely, turned around and found himself being embraced by Shang Yiluan...

"You..." The body bounced away in an instant, and the earphone on the right ear fell off.

"I saw that you were sound asleep, so I didn't call you..."

"you···"

"Oh, I just want to see what song you listen to to fall asleep, it's pretty good~" Seeing Shang Yiluan sitting up in embarrassment, Liu Yifeng realized that his reaction was a little too big, and this woman must have been disappointed.

"I, I'm not used to this...I've been sleeping alone for so many years...Don't mind..."

"It's okay, I understand~"

To avoid embarrassment, Liu Yifeng lay back on the bed, and Shang Yiluan also lay down, and put the earphones on Liu Yifeng's ears again.

"Did you sleep well?"

"It's okay, you have to adapt to an unfamiliar environment."

"What about at school? Is it comfortable to live in?"

"The school is relatively small and crowded, and the sense of privacy is relatively unprotected, but the small bed against the wall will give people a special sense of security, and there is a curtain to block it, so generally speaking I would It is easier to fall asleep at school. The only thing is that the bed is not soft enough, and I always feel back pain, which is not the case at home."

"Then don't live in the school. I think your dormitory doesn't have good lighting and ventilation, and it's still very cold. Why don't you move here? It's inevitable that this house will be deserted if I live alone."

"It's not good...we've only been together a few times, and I won't be used to living together so soon..."

"Then let's take it slow... let's talk about this song~ I just listened to it a few times, and I think it's very good~"

"Yeah, it's a very hopeless mood. It's suitable for looping singles when you're in a bad mood. Occasionally, if you don't want to fall asleep and be disturbed, I'll play this song with headphones on. It's light and calm, and it's suitable for falling asleep."

"You also listened to English songs on the way back last time, do you prefer English songs?"

"It's not that I have to like Chinese songs and English songs, but I just think I like the tune of this song, that's it."

"Actually, your whole person is different from what I thought. I always thought you were the kind of super lively and super outgoing person, but looking at it now, it seems that you have more quiet time."

"Yeah, sometimes it's annoying to always be in the noisy environment of the dormitory, so I like to go home and clean up for two days on weekends."

"Tell me about your past~ I feel as if I don't know you at all..."

"Chasing me before you know me? Isn't the risk too great?"

"Because I've fallen in love with you~ So even if I don't know you, I still want to be with you~" Looking at Shang Yiluan's tender eyes, Liu Yifeng turned over to avoid the woman's sight again, so red| She really didn't dare to accept a naked confession.

"My grandfather was the deputy mine manager. He was indeed a great official back then, but he didn't like power, and he didn't even arrange jobs for his own children, so no matter how good he was back then, when he came to my father The generation is gone. When my father was young, he traveled all over the world, and it can be regarded as wandering around. He opened a restaurant, panned for gold... a lot of troubles, but in the end he still got a laid-off certificate and went out of business at home. When I was in kindergarten, he I took 1 yuan of principal and went to Russia alone, until now." In order for Shang Yiluan to better determine his feelings, Liu Yifeng began to introduce himself.

"My grandfather worked in the grain depot. It was also a good job back then. My mother joined the grain depot before graduating from junior high school. Unfortunately, she was laid off in 04. After that, she took me to live alone for a year and then went to my father's place. I was left behind. I was left at the primary school director’s house, a strange woman who was 36 years older than me. She was never married and had no children. There was only an 80-year-old father at home. I was in the fourth grade of elementary school that year.” Recalling the past, Liu Yifeng is always in pain, because her life is a tragedy of reality, a tragedy of an era.

"At that teacher's house, I cried and quarreled, but it was useless. My mother was determined to keep me there because she had a tense relationship with my grandpa's house. She didn't like or trust those people. My resistance was ineffective, so I had to continue to live alone in a place that didn't belong to me. And it was two years after I saw my mother again, and I was in the sixth grade of elementary school."

"Three years in junior high school, I still lived in that teacher's house. In addition to forcing me to make up lessons, she also controlled me in every way. Even I wanted to give a gift to someone I like. Although my pocket money is not counted In the living expenses given to her every month, but she always uses my parents’ difficulty in earning money as an excuse, asking me to save money on food and expenses. But you know? When I lived in her house in the fourth grade of elementary school, every month I gave her 700 yuan for living expenses. When I was in the third year of junior high school, it was raised to 1700 yuan. This was the normal salary level back then, but I couldn’t eat any good things when I was at her house. The junior high school I went to was very far from her home. It is far away, so I have to solve lunch by myself. On Saturdays and Sundays, she does not need to worry about my lunch. At that time, if I want to buy something I like, I can only save from the 5 yuan for lunch every day. I think you understand the calculations of the primary school teacher. During the first two years I lived in her house, I had to buy my own toilet paper, not to mention my nutrition. If at that time, I had breakfast every day If I can guarantee a glass of milk and two eggs, I won’t be so short, my current height is even one centimeter shorter than my mother.”

"In the final analysis, she has never given birth, and she doesn't know how to manage a child, and she doesn't know what spiritual needs a child who is alone will have, and what kind of care he would like to receive. I have lived in her house for five years. It has always been extremely painful, and my personality has also changed a lot. So in high school, I resolutely chose to live on campus to escape her control. That year, I lived fairly freely."

"However, due to some reasons, I chose to transfer to City A after finishing my freshman year of high school, which means I officially moved my family to City A. Our family bought a house in City A back then, but it was left there without decoration. I stayed at my aunt's house for a whole year. That winter vacation, my parents came back to apply for a passport, and this time, I didn't see my mother for five years."

"In the second semester of the second year of high school, because of the accounting strategy adopted, the two of them had no money to earn, so they showed their true colors. They always sneered at me and were often away from home. That was the year when I saw through the family relationship. I have seen people's hearts. Their kindness to me is not sincere at all, they just want to make money from my parents through me. So in the third year of high school, I strongly asked my mother to return to China to study with me for a year, as an example of what she said. The compensation for not growing up with me for many years. It’s a pity that things are not going well, and she can’t come back easily, because the business there is always more important than me. But even if she doesn’t come back, I have made up my mind, even in school If I apply for a long-term residence permit, I will never go to live in that house again."

"Fortunately, my idea was supported by my grandfather's family, and my grandfather resolutely came to city A to study with me for half a year. During that half year, my life was very comfortable, and my grandfather and I got along very well. But half a year later, I originally expected The days of my life have changed completely. The mother I was looking forward to was no longer the one I remembered. In short, she didn't know how to be a mother. So, we were always fighting, and I often went to the hospital without breakfast. Classes. Later, I couldn't take it anymore and made a big fuss. Since then, my life has become a little easier until the end of my college entrance examination."

"Our rent is for a whole year, so even though we have graduated, we still live in that small house of 50 square meters, which is really my first foothold. After learning that I was admitted, my mother started I was in charge of buying goods in the South, and it took me half a month to go there. So at that time, I was often at home alone. Apart from preparing for the driver’s license test and going to the driving school to practice driving, I began to teach myself how to cook. Maybe it was the nearly three-month vacation. Made me fall in love with living alone. Half a month before I registered at Lin University, my mother began to decorate the house that had been empty for two years. It was not until the National Day holiday of that year that our house was finally renovated, and then my mother also Finally back in Russia, and I finally have a home."

"After I went to college, I started to blatantly chase after the girl I liked. Before I met you, I liked many people. But then I gradually found that I couldn't accept close contact with people for a long time, and I also became I don’t like the excitement more and more. In the past few years in college, I basically spent the holidays at home alone. So now, I don’t feel any more about these things.”

"Where's grandpa? Is he still there?"

"Let's go. In my freshman year, I didn't get close to my grandparents, so I didn't go there much."

"Are you always growing up alone?"

"Yeah, my parents have hardly been involved. They feel that they can earn money for me over there is the greatest gift to me. I should be grateful to them and always listen to them and live according to their ideas. .”

"How can this be? Isn't it too much?"

"Yeah, I have tried countless times to repair the relationship with them, but there is already a gap between us, and the words are not on the same channel at all. I don't have any expectations for them anymore."

"I don't know what your parents think of you, but in my eyes, you are a wonderful child, and they should be content."

"Yeah, I never caused trouble, and even if my grades were not good, I still read a bad second book. I have always kept myself safe, but they are never satisfied, saying that I am ignorant and don't understand their hard work. They want me and those in the mountains. children than."

"After so many years, you must be very wronged, right?"

"My heart is numb from the pain... Every time I quarrel with them, I want to say, just die like this... Just like this song, every time I want to commit suicide, I will repeat the single again and again... ··Fortunately, you showed up, so I didn't have this idea again." Looking back at Shang Yiluan's eyes, Liu Yifeng's eyes were full of admiration, but Shang Yiluan's eyes were red...

"You are the spiritual pillar in my heart, so I never thought about getting you. I just hope that you can live in my heart, in a place that I can see but can't touch."

"Why? You love me, don't you?"

"Because a child like me is extremely insecure and surrounded by love. Although I have an extreme desire in my heart, once what I want comes, I will push her away... So, you must think clearly, I Such a person cannot fall into a relationship...because I will instinctively resist...Scientifically we call people like us lithromantic."

"No! No! I will definitely let you open your heart and accept me! You believe me!" Held tightly in Shang Yiluan's arms, this time Liu Yifeng did not resist, God knows how much she longed for such warmth Embrace···

Every time she gets tired or hurts, Liu Yifeng really hopes that someone will hug her tightly and whisper in her ear, "I'm here, don't worry~".But from beginning to end, she had to face all the difficulties and hardships by herself.

she longs for love...

But she can't have love anymore...