After being disabled, I hired a bodyguard

Yu Heng didn't know whether to laugh or cry, he said to himself that you are nothing, when he plays games with the computer, the cat sits on his ass, that's really fatal.

He Yanzhi posted again: [So where are you now? 】

Yu Heng: [Mobile phone store, I'm thinking about what model to buy for you, a game phone, a music phone, or a camera phone? 】

While replying to the message, he quickly drove away and drove to the nearest mobile phone store.

This question seems to have stumped He Yanzhi, and it took a while before the news came back: [Is there a Trinity? 】

Yu Heng: 【That might not work】

He Yanzhi: [I don't think I need such a high configuration if I play a game of Match and Match]

Yu Heng: [hmm]

He Yanzhi: [I don't usually listen to music]

Yu Heng: [hmm]

He Yanzhi: [It seems that there are very few selfies]

Yu Heng: [How about I buy you a Nokia? 】

He Yanzhi: [Roll]

He Yanzhi: [You can buy it as you see it, just a little thinner, not too heavy, black, and the screen size is about the same as yours]

Yu Heng: [ojbk]

Yu Heng drove to the mobile phone store at light speed, and picked out a new thin and light phone for him as quickly as possible. After asking the price, He Yanzhi directly transferred 1 yuan to him, and asked him to use the rest as pocket money .

He didn't tell He Yanzhi that he went to call the police. After buying the mobile phone, he went to the supermarket in front of his house to pick up a pack of dried tofu, bought some food by the way, and prepared to cook at home at night.

He Yanzhi is a person, although he is not particularly picky, but there is a big difference between what he likes to eat and what he can eat. When he meets what he likes to eat, he can eat half a bowl of rice more. bowl.

Yu Heng has worked as his bodyguard and nanny for so long, and he has already figured out his preferences—basically he likes meat, but he only eats roasted duck and fish with few spines.Vegetables are more picky. I don’t eat onion, ginger, and garlic. I can accept spicy food but refuse to see the skin and seeds of the pepper. I don’t eat the skin of the tomato. I only eat the leaves of the cabbage. Bitter things, such as bitter melon and lotus seed heart.

Mr. Yan was not in a good mood today, Yu Heng decided to cook him a good meal, but he also had to consider that this guy had a stomachache last night, so he couldn't eat spicy food.

If he worked as a nanny for Boss Yan for three years, he might be able to work as a chef in a five-star hotel directly.

He Yanzhi was waiting for him to come back at home, holding his notebook in boredom, not knowing what to do.

He only used things like computers occasionally, so he didn't play anything in it. The only games were cards and minesweeper.

After stepping on mines in the No. 18 simple mode, he silently closed the minesweeping interface, thinking that he might not be the material.

All the games that require the use of the brain and the test of hand speed probably have no chance for him.

Daju lay beside him, and was carried off the keyboard several times by him, but he still didn't give up. His cat eyes stared straight at the cooling vents, and the tip of his tail curled up from time to time to express his deep desire.

He clicked randomly on the computer for a while, but still couldn't resist opening the browser and entering Weibo from the web page.

Then he found yesterday's private message and clicked on the personal homepage that sent him the prank video, but it showed "the user does not exist".

...has it been canceled?

He hesitated for a while, glanced at the anti-virus software that was running in the lower right corner, and clicked on the virus-laden video link with the mouse.

And nothing happens, the page that pops up shows 404.

The video was also destroyed.

He Yanzhi gave a "tsk", thinking that this guy is a habitual offender, he is very skilled in deleting the account and destroying the video after posting it.

Then he modified the Weibo settings to only accept private messages from followers, and then cleaned up the follow list, leaving only a few necessary ones.

There were so many private messages scolding him before, why didn't he think of closing the private messages earlier?

Is he retarded?

After He Yanzhi finished all this, he let out a soft breath, closed the notebook, and threw the notebook to the cat.

Daju looked at him suspiciously, stretched out his claws and stepped on the notebook, and found that this stupid human being didn't seem to care about it, so he moved his buttocks and resolutely lay down on it.

Poor Boss Yan's notebook has endured the pressure that this body size shouldn't bear.

He Yanzhi tried to move his legs, but it still felt very difficult. The tendons were like rubber bands that had lost their elasticity.

Although most of his consciousness has recovered, the feeling of feeling but being unable to move made him even more uncomfortable. For example, he once accidentally spilled some hot water on his legs. He knew he was going to be scalded, but he just couldn't avoid it.

I didn't feel it before, and it was hot when it was hot, but now it hurts.

Mr. Yan feels that life is difficult, so it's better to be a lazy orange cat.

... No, being an orange cat is not very good, because the owner will force him to lose weight because he is too fat.

It's better to be a black cat, black looks thinner.

He Yanzhi was thinking wildly, when suddenly he heard the door knock, Yu Heng came back and threw down his favorite dried tofu and a life-saving mobile phone: "Try to install the card and see if it works smoothly."

The phone fits his description perfectly, black, thin and light, and feels good in the hand.When He Yanzhi installed the SIM card, the first thing he did was to change the wallpaper and lock screen, and then he downloaded Haoxiaoxiaole from the app store, and first boarded it to see if his number was there.

Fortunately, he was logged in as a penguin before, if he was a tourist, he would be finished.

He Yanzhi held back for a whole day, and couldn't let go when he got the new mobile phone. Yu Heng observed him from the sidelines, and felt that his face was much better, and he should have calmed down.

With such a big star, he has never experienced any storms, so he won't be scared out of his wits by a prank video.

Yu Heng was washing vegetables in the kitchen, and said: "It will be Qingming in two days, and my mother's tomb has been moved. Then I will go to visit the tomb with my sister. You can stay at home by yourself, okay?"

He Yanzhi raised his head: "Isn't your father going?"

"My dad twisted his back at school two days ago, so he probably won't be able to go," Yu Heng sighed. "He has been taking classes for others now, and has been resting at home for several days."

He Yanzhi never heard him mention it, and felt that he should care about his future father-in-law, so he asked, "Is it serious?"

Yu Heng: "It's nothing serious, just rest for a few days and it will be fine."

He Yanzhi nodded: "Then you go, if you go for a day, I will eat a small hot pot by myself."

"It won't be that long, and I won't live in the cemetery," Yu Heng said, "By the way, your parents...don't really need to visit the grave?"

"What kind of tomb sweeping? I don't know where my mother is buried." He Yan sneered, "Her funeral was handled by that little boy. The boy wanted to find me, but I ignored him. I told him, if you don't want to When I bought a cemetery, I found a random place to scatter the ashes, but he seemed to have some affection for my mother—even if he had no affection, he still took her money, but he didn’t scatter it in the end, and I didn’t ask where it was buried.”

Yu Heng is not particularly a gossip person, but he is still very curious about these things about He Yan's family, and asked: "Is the little boy good-looking? How can he fascinate your mother?"

He Yanzhi: "What a good-looking ass, it looks like plastic surgery. The first time I saw him, I thought he was a poor villager. Later, he gradually made him look better. I don't know how much my mother gave him to make him look better." Plastic surgery... how can you just look right, I am also very puzzled."

Yu Heng stewed chicken drumsticks in the casserole, ready to make soup, and said with a bit of humor: "So you are all natural?"

He Yanzhi was stunned for a moment: "What do you think I have done?"

Yu Heng: "It's because it's so perfect that it's so perfect that it's a little unreal."

He Yanzhi curled his lips: "Then according to this, you should be an artificial intelligence."

Yu Heng: "No, the current artificial intelligence is artificially retarded. I am much smarter than them. Please don't insult my IQ."

He Yanzhi switched his phone to selfie, and tried the front camera of the new phone: "If you want to talk about plastic surgery...does it count if you have a mole? I had a mole when I was in junior high school."

"Why order?" Yu Heng came out of the kitchen and took him a pack of dried tofu, "Where is it?"

"I don't remember, it seems to be here on the chin." He Yanzhi reached out to touch it, but it was too long, and there was no trace left, and he couldn't find it himself. .”

Yu Heng sat down in front of him, looked at his face carefully, and couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a mole on his chin.

In order to satisfy his curiosity, he found a pen from the coffee table and drew on the opponent's chin: "Is it here?"

"Almost, go to the right."

Yu Heng lightly painted him a small black dot, thought for a moment: "It's not very pretty."

"...Is there something wrong with you?" He Yanzhi looked at him with the eyes of an artificial mentally retarded person, "It's not good-looking, if it looks good, can I go for it?"

Yu Heng raised his eyebrows.

He Yanzhi also picked up a pack of dried tofu and cracked it open with his teeth: "I'm serious, I really hate that little boy. Originally, although my mother ran away with my father's money, she would still give me some food during the holidays." Pocket money, and occasionally send me some snacks or something. Since she met Xiaobailian, she has never contacted me again. When I call her, she will not answer at all. If I call her again, she will block me directly—you say , looking for a lover who is younger than her son, what kind of mentality does she have?"

Yu Heng: "Aren't we also eight years apart?"

"The difference between the two of them is 28 years old!" He Yanzhi raised his voice, "28 years old, and eight years old, can you compare?"

Yu Heng: "...I can't."

He Yanzhi didn't know what to think of, and his face suddenly changed slightly: "Wait, don't get me wrong, this is really not hereditary, I never thought that I would find someone younger than me..."

Yu Heng smiled immediately: "Actually, if you don't remind me, I haven't thought about it at all."

He Yanzhi: "..."

Yu Heng leaned forward and whispered in his ear: "Actually, I don't care. Eight years old is within my acceptable range, but 28 years old... This is really not something that ordinary people can do. I want to say that that little boy is also a ruthless person." People—or, does your mother look particularly young like you?"

"It's okay. Fifty looks like forty, and forty looks like thirty." He Yanzhi said, "But it still can't change the fact that they are more than two rounds behind. I think he is doing it for money."

Yu Heng: "What if I also do it for money?"

He Yanzhi glanced at him: "Don't worry, you came to be my bodyguard for money, but the nature of this is different. I still know what you are. If you really hope that I will die early and want to inherit me Family property, I wouldn’t have ran back in a panic yesterday.”

Yu Heng: "..."

He hooked the corner of his lips helplessly, leaned over and kissed him gently, blocking his "rational analysis".

Immediately he frowned: "Spicy dried tofu? Do you eat spicy ones when your stomach is healed?"

He Yanzhi: "..."

Does this work too?

He threw the packaging into the trash can in time, and he was still found?