The accident in my life is only you

Today's class ended early, and it was only after four o'clock in the evening when we returned to the dormitory. The sun was slanting westward in the sky, and there was only a faint temperature stranded on the branches.

There is an open space at the entrance of the dormitory, seven or eight steps down the open space is a grass field, and there is no shelter around the steps, so it becomes the best place for us to bask in the sun in winter.

I sat on the steps with a better roommate, blowing a cool breeze, and let the setting sun flutter on my body, bringing a little warmth.

The roommate murmured the story of her and her ex-boyfriend, sometimes sad and sometimes joyful.

I listened to her while holding the mobile phone, while flipping through the button space in the mobile phone, looking back at her from time to time, showing that I am a qualified listener.

But when I flipped through it with my fingertips, I found that a blog I published recently was browsed by Aning, and her QQ profile picture was displayed above the comments on my blog, which quickly attracted my attention.

While listening to my roommate's story, I unconsciously clicked on Aning's profile picture and entered her space to browse at will.

I casually clicked on her diary and found that she had a diary with a high number of viewers. Although it was not written recently, it was the first one.

I rarely browse Aning’s space. Since the summer vacation of the college entrance examination year, I have realized that the things in her space are more likely to bring me gloom than pleasure, so I deliberately avoid them and never pry into them.

But I just clicked in, and the title of the diary has already been seen, so let’s click on it to have a look, at least she used to be the person I admire the most, and her writing style should also be admirable.

One of my ears is still listening to my roommate’s eloquence, and my eyes are looking at this diary. It is very long, with nearly seven or eight hundred words, just like a high school composition.

But the more I looked down, the more I felt that something was wrong, and a trace of uneasiness flashed in my heart, which became more and more obvious.

This seems to be a confession letter, what is written, the answer will soon come out.

But halfway through, I couldn't help but swipe up with my fingertips and go back to the beginning of the article, wanting to read it again carefully from the beginning to confirm its completeness.

I thought I had missed something that made the content of this article so sharp and sharp, but as the fingertips slid down again, those contents re-infiltrated into my mind, instantly draining the temperature in my heart.

The voices of the roommates in my ears gradually became distant and ethereal, and became smaller and smaller, until I could no longer hear them. Those words seemed to be engraved in my mind, and the meanings appeared more and more clearly.

Aning's diary expresses her nostalgia for Liu Shu, and even writes about how she fell in love with Liu Shu at the beginning of her pursuit of Liu Shu, and how they have come to today step by step, lingering and tender.

What surprised me was that they had been together since the summer vacation of the college entrance examination. They kept secret for so long and treated me like air.

Liu Shu took the initiative to provoke me during this period, and Ah Ning even acquiesced in everything she did?Didn't say a word, so what am I?

Those words pierced my heart like a sword, and many tears of blood flowed out, almost drowning me.

I felt my fingers start to tremble slightly, and my feet felt vacant. I didn't know whether it was panic or panic. I felt top-heavy and couldn't sit still.

This is the case with many things in this world. You clearly know it in your heart, just like a mirror, but when you really confirm it, the pain is still so obvious and deep, like a building toppled or a lake bursting its embankment.

"Hey, are you listening to me?" My roommate grabbed my arm and pulled me back from my sad thoughts, but at this moment I couldn't calm down anymore.

I stood up hastily, and stammered: "I, I was listening to you, but... But that, I have something to go out now, sorry, I will listen to you when I come back."

Without waiting for my roommate to answer, I quickly ran to the other side of the steps with trembling calves, took a few steps down, and ran frantically towards the door of the dormitory.

It was already dark, the shops on the side of the road had already turned on the lights one after another, and the whole street was brightly lit, and I just grabbed my mobile phone and went straight to Liu Shu's dormitory without anything, looking so embarrassed.

I ran for about 15 minutes, and finally ran downstairs to Liu Shu's rental house. I stood there and took several deep breaths, finally calmed down, and finally walked up with a smile on my face.

The first floor, the second floor, the third floor, and the fourth floor finally stood at the door of the rental house.

I have never felt that it takes such a long time to walk through these four floors, and it can never go to the end, not to the door of the small room on the fourth floor.

I stood at the door, making sure that I smiled naturally and gently enough to leave with enough dignity, and then I reached out and grabbed the doorknob and gently pushed it open.

As I expected, she still didn't lock the door this time, but the door was closed, and the inside was still dark.

In the haze, I could only see the light of Liu Shu's mobile phone on the bedside flickering and flickering. She was sleeping, lying on her back, breathing evenly and long, as quiet as a porcelain doll.

The sound of me pushing open the door woke her up, but she still didn't wake up, she just turned her body slightly.

I stood by the door for a long time before Liu Shu raised his hand slowly, resting his arms on his eye sockets to block the light from outside the door.

Then she sat up slowly, and looked at me who was still standing by the door with sleepy eyes.

"Yingying, why are you here at this hour, it's so late, what's the matter?"

"Did you stay with Ah Ning during the summer vacation of the college entrance examination?" I asked coldly, my heart trembling slightly, the known answer stood still in my heart, waiting for the final seal to become a veritable fact .

Liu Shu hadn't fully woken up from his sleep, rubbed his eyes and asked, "What did you say?"

"Did you already be with Ah Ning during the summer vacation of the year of the college entrance examination, didn't you!" My voice raised slightly, and I couldn't suppress the trembling in my voice.

Liu Shu didn't answer, just looked at me blankly, no longer rubbing his eyes, as if he had woken up suddenly, and heard the meaning of my words clearly.

"Why did you lie to me? Why didn't you tell me?" I suppressed my crying, and helplessness flowed from the apex of my heart.

She looked at me dully, and murmured: "Don't you already know? I thought that even if I didn't tell you, you would have already known?"

My fingertips were embedded in the palm of my hand, and the sharp pain spread from the palm of my hand to my heart, "You and Aning are both real, so you are both real! You have been lying to me like this!"

"I thought you already knew, Yingying." Liu Shu lowered his head like petrified, without moving, and only slightly said this sentence.

"You've been lying to me like this for so long, Liu Shu, you, you..."

I was suddenly speechless and choked up, unable to continue.

Lin Ying, isn't everything about her due to your pampering?You have already guessed their strangeness, but you don't care about it, and you still give yourself out.

The tip of my heart seemed to be pinched off by someone, and all the cells in my body were screaming in my head, protesting against me, crying out for pain.

I took a deep breath, slowly retracted all the embarrassment, took a deep look at Liu Shu who was still bowing his head, turned around, closed the door behind him, and quickly went down the stairs.

The door behind him closed quickly with a slight sound, like a choking sound in his throat.

Fourth floor, third floor, second floor, first floor.

Different from when I came, this time I ran to the gate easily, and then continued running all the way to the dormitory, just like me when I came.

But after I ran forward for 5 minutes, my calf became sore and I was unable to struggle, so I had to hold on to the railing on the side of the road and walked under the bridge again.

It's already past school time, there are not many pedestrians on the road, and I am the only one under the bridge.

The street lights on the top of the bridge are still shining with warm yellow light, which stretches the shadow under me long and thin, and the bustling sound of wheels on the bridge makes the air under the bridge even more lonely.

I slowly squatted down and hugged myself, just like the previous time, looking at my own shadow, the pain in my heart became more and more obvious.

I thought of her standing next to Aning, how many times she looked at me with such cold and distant eyes, as if we were complete strangers.

And how many times she has looked at me with stars and expectations in her eyes, and in a blink of an eye, all of these are gone.

I used to think that a person who loves me so deeply would be indifferent to other people's entanglement, or at least would not accept it eagerly.

But that doesn't seem to be the case, it's just my wishful thinking and self-righteousness.

The tip of my heart seemed to be numb and cold.

I took out my phone, opened my mailbox, and called up the breakup text message that Liu Shu sent me last semester. I don’t know if the pain I felt at that time has been forgotten by me.

How many times you have warned yourself to stay away from her, but you still can't help but want to get close to her. This is just an opportunity for her to hurt herself, and you can't blame anyone.

But now, the despair in my heart seems to have overflowed, and all hope seems to have died.

The corners of the eyes were dry and sore, but no tears flowed.

I sent a message to Liu Shu with trembling fingertips, those buttons seemed to be malfunctioning, and it took me a lot of strength to type out the words one by one.

With trembling fingertips, I tried to type those 3 words for 13 minutes. The time was so long and short, I even wished I could spend more time to piece together these decisive words, but it was only 3 minutes , that line of eye-catching content just lay there safely.

Finally, I closed my eyes and hit the send button.

After sending the text message, I opened the mailbox, and the text message I sent suddenly stopped at the last line of the dialogue with Liu Shu. The font was resolute and resolute, marking the final end of all the previous sad parting.

I squatted on the ground, looking at the text message that had been sent, not knowing what to say to comfort myself.

I remembered the song I heard in her dormitory when I went to find Liu Shu with great joy last time. Now that I think about it, the lyrics in it stabbed me like a sharp knife.

---Want to ask why, I am no longer your happiness,.......

---What I miss is talking without saying anything, what I miss is dreaming together, what I miss is the impulse to love you after a quarrel.

---I remember my birthday that year, I also remember that song, I remember that starry sky, the tightest right hand, and the warmest chest.

---I let go, I gave up my seat, pretending to be free and easy, who knows how reluctant I am, I love you so much, so I didn't cry or say anything.

Liu Shu, you once said that I am all your happiness, and you asked me how I can be with you.

On my birthday that year, the string of wind chimes was still hanging in the right place, spinning down, making a crisp sound.

We learned that song together, and the melody we hummed together is still fresh in my memory.

Under that starry sky, you once held my hand tightly, looking forward to it, saying that it was a well-prepared surprise for me.

Are these all gone now?So these are just lies you made me happy for a while?

But I foolishly took all these things seriously, and stubbornly kept them in my heart and cared for them for many years. Even if I died of heartbreak countless times, I still kept that attachment in my heart.Until those hearts and joys were burnt to ashes, I still held them in front of you with a smile on my face, and let you crush the last bit of my dignity.

The phone was slumped on the ground in front of me, and the words were still displayed on the screen: Honey, this time, I really want to leave you.

The most hurtful thing is the memory. The fireworks under the starry sky in the memory were extinguished and never lit up again.

The author has something to say: Thank you for watching, the second volume is over.Next, there is Aning's self-narration.

Note: The song is: Hsiao Jingteng - I miss it.