[New Peerless Double Pride 3] Over the years

Jiang Wuque led me into the room, maybe in his heart, the two of them just walked into the room through the snow, but I remember clearly that he was standing in front of that door a few years ago, unknowingly, but kept calling Tie Xinlan's name , no matter how unwilling I am to put his eyes on me, he never, even just a little bit, sees me in his eyes.

I was discouraged at that time. In fact, I am very good at putting on a face. He can't see it, he can't feel it, and I have been chasing him for so many years.

I just don't understand, he obviously cares a little bit about me, why I never feel it?Is he not showing it, or am I too slow?Does he have to wait for his heart to cool down, despair, or finally let go, before he will come after me in full view like that time at Feiyan Villa; or this time, when Tie Xinlan's body is not cold, he just made Feng Luan and the golden hairpin break the ground at this time out.

What does he want me to do? There is no grave, no stele, no name, no title, Tie Xinlan is his pre-deceased wife, what am I?

If you give up, knowing that there is no hope, it's fine to withdraw and retreat.

But when he stands on the cliff, the wind blows his clothes, and there is an abyss one step away, and one step back, how can I be willing to let him be alone?

I am probably a person who will never learn to be reconciled, always seeing hope in despair.

Even though there were thousands of reasons to urge me to leave him, I followed him back to the room, supported by me, and led by him.

He holds the lamp for me, dusts off the snow, raises his eyes and smiles, and the scenery is like the moon.

But no matter what, he was not sober at this time.I checked his palm, applied the medicine, and blew and blew on the wound until he curled up his fingers, lifted my face with the other hand, and said, "It doesn't hurt."

Tears welled up in my eyes in an instant, and he frowned, a little innocent and a little flustered.

"Look at you," I concealed, "how to get yourself to the desired situation..."

Before I finished speaking, he hugged me, "It's my fault..." He comforted me in a warm voice.

I pressed my face against his chest, the day-to-day depression, emptiness and loneliness, even if I pressed it tightly and tightly right now, it was still cold.

Later he watched me fall asleep, the two of us shared a couch, he lay on his side on the bed, with his hands resting on his forehead, looking at me.

Although I closed my eyes, my heart was sore and bitter. This scene I have been looking forward to for a long time, if it is separated by a wall, without Tie Xinlan's lonely grave companion, it must be a dream.

When the next day dawned, I woke up first, and saw that Jiang Wuque was in the same lying position, with his eyes closed, and he was already asleep.

Carefully, I bypassed him and climbed out of bed, and after I finished washing, I took out the manuscript of the God of Despair and wrote quickly.

If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe that his thoughts hurt his body and mind.But how dare I think that when he wakes up from the dream and regains his sanity, seeing me and his own clothes are disheveled, at that time he showed a look of frustration in front of me, how should I stand on my own feet?

If you think about it, you can only use this Sangshen Art as an excuse to stay by his side, not for his sake, but to pass on the Sangshen's magical skills to him.

I hope he will wake up at that time, whether he keeps me or drives me out, it is his sincere wish, not a temporary obsession.

It was almost noon, and I was fully prepared to go to the kitchen to make meals.Pots and pans, firewood, rice, oil and salt, Xiaoyuer is considerate and thoughtful, and everything you need is available.It is a worrying thing to get familiar with their combination.

After I boiled a bowl of clear porridge and went back to my room to meet Jiang Wuque, I saw that he had already woken up, sitting on the bed with his clothes on, in a daze, without any movement, as if he had fallen into a trance.

I called out to him, and he suddenly raised his eyes.

In fact, at that moment, I couldn't be more guilty.I'm afraid that when he sees it's me, it's like seeing a ghost.

But the expression on his face changed from dull to happy, and I felt my whole heart beating again in my chest.

He got out of bed to meet me, his hair disheveled and uncombed.In the dream last night, he was the most peaceful and stable dream I have seen in days.So he slept until noon, and he didn't want to wake him up.

At this time, he was roughly combing and washing, and asked him to sit down and eat porridge.

Life in the snow-capped mountains is not only poor, but also as dull as clear water, but even if he eats a bowl of burnt porridge, he is as gentle and elegant as tasting some kind of dragon liver and phoenix meat.

But I was only allowed to cook on the first day, and then turned around.

Although it's just ordinary food, Jiang Wuque is much more skilled than me when it comes to handling it.

When the soup was ready, he brought it to me, neither handing it over to me nor putting it on the table.The spoon was stirred in the soup twice, and he scooped out a spoonful. He lowered his eyes and asked very carefully, "Is it okay?" The spoon was held up to my lips.

I opened my mouth, he raised his eyebrows and smiled, and slowly fed me the bowl of soup.

Although I didn't say it, but that whole day, I really didn't know how uncomfortable it was.

It's not that it's painful or uncomfortable, but it's unbearable itching, looking at him, cooperating with him and treating him with courtesy, but it's only a little bit short.The two hands are touching, but they can't clasp their fingers; they lie on the same couch, but they don't cross the threshold.

He didn't take the initiative and didn't avoid taboos, which made me very sad and hurt my lungs.

I don't even know what he was thinking. Sometimes when talking about the past, he would even use words like "when you were alive...", which made me wonder how to deal with it.

I can't rashly tell him that I faked my death to deceive him, then I can't predict whether he will be happy or angry, and what will happen.

But even if you don't talk about the reality, the two live in Xuefeng, facing each other silently, and it's wonderful that some years have passed.

It's just that this beauty dissipates too quickly, so fast that people have no time to taste it.A few days later, Xiao Yu'er regularly sent people up the mountain to manage, and all the apparent harmony was broken.

On that day, Jiang Wuque walked back and forth in the room, restless.

He hid me on purpose, when I approached him, I felt his clothes were damp, and he was sweating all over his head, I was so afraid.

At this time, someone knocked on the door, and he grabbed my wrist violently, trembling, as if he was facing a formidable enemy.

I asked him, "What are you afraid of?"

He remained silent, and I couldn't help but smile wryly, "I'm so scared, I'd better leave."

He hugged me from behind, "...no need."

I wanted to break free, but there was another knock on the door, and the sound of "Du Tu" became more and more impatient, and within a moment, before Jiang Wuque responded, the door slammed open.

Standing outside the door was Jiang Yun, and Jiang Wuque's body was extremely stiff. I had already jumped out of the window, and when I turned around, I could still see that man with a panicked face and nowhere to hide.

Jiang Yun came to sacrifice his mother, and Xiao Yuer asked him to transport a cart of supplies to Jiang Wuque, in other words, he gave them a chance to get along with their father and son.

It's a pity that neither of them liked this opportunity very much.

There were several jars of wine in the cargo, it must be Xiao Yu'er's plan, but Jiang Yun didn't appreciate it, he didn't plan to have a heart-to-heart talk with his father at all.

People come and go faster.After he left, Jiang Wuque was not as usual, but frowned and stood there in a daze.

If he knew that he would not let me meet Jiang Yun, how could he not know whether I was dead or alive.

I didn't come out of the hiding place, but after he was in a daze, he sat quietly in the room and waited for me.

But it can also be explained that from beginning to end, Jiang Wuque was just wandering in the void, not waiting for someone to return.

He sat until the sun was setting and went out of the room.

My stomach twitched again, I ran to the side and retched, and when I came back, I saw him passing by the side of Tie Xinlan's grave, and I couldn't move any more.

In the past few days, he never cleared the snow from the grave at all.

I asked him why he didn't go to worship, and he answered soberly at that time: "It's shameless."

To be able to say this, I should say that I am the one pretending to be ignorant while pretending to be ignorant. No matter how depressed he is, he should have woken up earlier.

I walked out of the shadows, and when Jiang Wuque turned around, his face was clean, flat and almost indifferent, and he smiled at me after a long time.

Every time I took a step forward, I made up my mind, and when I got to the grave, I asked him, "Is it time to say goodbye?"

He was taken aback for a moment, but turned around intentionally or unintentionally, blocking the new grave from my sight.

I opened my mouth and said: "The past few days I have been wondering what kind of status you treat me, but now I understand that we are husband and wife. Jiang Wuque, what you promised to me at the beginning, you finally did."

He didn't answer, but looked at me with a puzzled look on his face.

I didn't give him a chance to ask, so I kept on talking: "For me, you force yourself to close your eyes, even ignoring Tie Xinlan's body is not cold, every day, is your heart hurting like a knife?

"Surplus." His complexion changed slightly, but when he looked carefully, he couldn't tell what had changed.

"Actually, I really admire everything about Tie Xinlan. In the domain cave, you mistakenly thought that I was jealous of her and killed her. You are not wrong, I really want to kill her instead."

"Stop talking." He frowned, as if mentioning it in words was enough for him to relive the pain of that day.

"I..." He said another word, but I interrupted him: "I know that you are good to me, and you have even tried your best. But no matter how good a dream is, there will always be a day when you wake up. The expected waking period is uneasy, and even anxious all day long. Instead of waiting for you to declare to me that this dream will come to an abrupt end, I think it’s better for me to decide this day myself.”

"You..." He stared at me blankly, as if he couldn't understand the meaning of my words, but after a while, he asked again: "You decided, is it today?"

It seems that I guessed correctly, how sober he is now.

"Why?" He grabbed my hand, "Wu Que treats you badly?"

"Very good." I said.

"Then why..."

"I want more just because I'm good. Haven't you heard this sentence?"

I pulled out my hand and called his hand, which was held there alone in the cold and windy place.

I stared at him, and seeing that he was about to speak, I snapped back and said, "I used to be jealous of Tie Xinlan, because I was jealous of her who won you, and she was your legitimate wife. But now I feel sorry for her, because you, Jiang Wuque, have been for 30 years. Years, or even 40 years, 50 years, for a lifetime, it is impossible for her to be the only person in my heart! I don’t know how Tie Xinlan hopes for you, but what I, Sun Yingyu, wants is a Jiang Wuque who is completely consistent in body and mind. He can only love me, only look at me, and only give his heart to me—not responsibility, guilt, regret, fulfillment, etc., etc.!"

This person suddenly hugged me, "How would you know until then..."

"Jiang Wuque, in front of Jiang Yun, do you dare to say that you must be me?"

His body froze.

I smiled bitterly in his arms, "Don't forget, you also gave me two swords. If you really care about me so much, how can you use those two swords? If one is a mistake, what is it twice?"

"..."

"I really know how embarrassing I am for you. The rift between Jiang Yun and your father and son was caused by me. I can't show up, I can't let him see it, and it is the most correct judgment for him and me. Jiang Wuque you do It’s right, but doing it right doesn’t mean I have to accept it——you drew your sword at me back then, and even today I can’t point out your fault. , but I don't want to forgive you!"

His body was stiff, and the hands around my shoulders slowly slipped off. I took the opportunity to take a step back and see his face clearly.

The face that had been maintained unchanged for decades by means of Ming Yugong finally showed a bit of aging after the power was lost.But God favored him after all, three thousand blue hairs, not a single frost, fine lines around the eyes, although already clearly visible, but also add charm, icing on the cake.

But she was thin and pale, and became more and more day by day, in the depths of the pupils, except for the heavy load and fatigue, there was no tranquility and purity.

I have a hard time controlling myself, and I am afraid to look into his eyes, because whether it is silence or the darkness that has already swallowed people in those eyes, I can't move my feet. I really want to help him, I really want to give him comfort, and I want to take a step forward. He stepped forward and hugged him tightly——

But I tried for so long, but I couldn't help him.

"Take care of yourself."

On the heights of the snow-capped mountains, the sunset exhausted its last sliver of energy, and it was full of brilliance.

"Don't go!" When I turned around, I heard him say behind me, "Yu Yu..."

I also heard that voice approaching a little bit, as if it came to my ear, "It doesn't matter if you hate me or don't forgive me...it's okay..."

I closed my eyes, knowing that he was only one step away from me, knowing that he might have stretched out his hand towards me, "Whatever is fine, don't let me miss you again...Sun Yingyu, is it okay?"

It's quiet, whether it's the wind dying down or the light fading.

I took a step, and there was no sound behind me.I don't know if I'm cruel or right, I just know that if I stay a moment longer, all my determination will fall apart.

As for Jiang Wuque, if he wanted to keep him, he could only do so much.

It turned out to be nothing more than that.

"Sun Yingyu!"

Under the plank road, I suddenly heard shouts from the top of the mountain, my heart shuddered, and I stepped out, but I couldn't fall down no matter what.

When I entered the village under the snow-capped mountains, my clothes were drenched from running so fast, I hid under a tree and vomited wildly, tears falling.

It turns out that people can also decide to go so far and go against the direction of their own hearts. It turns out that they will not be divided into two.

At this time, the sky was already dark, and under the shadows, no matter how embarrassed he was, at least he was not afraid of being watched.

And I don't hate Jiang Wuque at all, I have no right to hate him, on the contrary, I don't deserve him.

Whether it's sincerity or redemption, his Jiang Wuque's wife, it turns out that I can't match her after all.

It was since that night, when Jiang Yun went up the mountain to ask for the gold hairpin from Fengluan, Jiang Wuque broke through the ground to dig out the gold hairpin, while I hid in the dark and felt nauseous, it was the first time I had a specious premonition.

In fact, the symptoms at that time were quite obvious, but I couldn't imagine it, let alone believe it...

I actually got pregnant.

Two months away from Domain Point, and this child...

It's that man!

How can I stay with Jiang Wuque day and night? It's fine if he's not awake, but once he knows... Fortunately, Jiang Yun came to the door today, allowing me to see him clearly, and also see my eyes clearly.

I can no longer allow myself to indulge in it. Some things, if resolved one day later, will be more dangerous.

In a small town at the foot of Kunlun Mountain, at dawn on the second day, I bought some laxatives, and found safflower, achyranthes bidentata, sandalwood...but I seemed to have underestimated that man's heir. I have suffered so much, from death to life, but I have not been able to make him go away. Now I have tried a few doses of heavy medicine, but it still hurts for two days without any effect.

The medicine stone is fruitless, do I have to find a high point and roll all the way down, and self-mutilate my body to get rid of this evil obstacle?

But that would not be worth the candle.

I couldn't be cruel to myself, so I calmed down and thought about it, and suddenly realized that I went down to the Immortal Cloud Inn in a hurry that day, and I actually forgot to hand over to Jiang Wuque the death formula that I had painstakingly written silently.

Originally, I wanted to entrust others to deliver books up the mountain on my behalf.But the Sangshen Jue is not an ordinary thing, and I can't help but worry about whoever puts it into the hands. This trip will inevitably have to run away by myself.

It took only two days to say goodbye, but at noon on the third day, I still stood on the Kunlun Snow Peak.

It's still the fairy cloud stack, the same houses, the cedar trees, and the whole snow.

In front of the grave in the house, Jiang Wuque was nowhere to be found.Even if I was dumbfounded, I looked at the clouds and mist beyond the cliff, and remembered why I showed up that night, and I couldn't help feeling palpitations.

While searching around like this, I suddenly saw a flying cloud stone hanging in the air half a foot below the cliff bank behind the kitchen. There seemed to be something lying on the stone, covered with snow, like a raised snow bag.

I descended the cliff cautiously, and patted off the white snow that had been frozen into ice crystals. Under the snow, my clothes were exposed, and I curled up and lay down alone.

Shocked and frightened, I immediately tapped the opponent's acupoints, and lay down in front of him to listen to his breath.

Fortunately, there is still a ray of residual warmth.I got the person up the cliff, and the two of them went ashore in embarrassment, fell on the snow layer, and made the flawless white snow into a mess.

Jiang Wuque closed his eyes tightly, as if he was dead.I didn't care about moving him back to the room first, and after taking a breath, I pumped a burst of true energy into his body.

After several rounds of exercise, he moved his eyelids and slowly woke up.

I snarled at him almost as soon as he opened his eyes.

I thought he was crazy and ran to jump off the cliff.Unexpectedly, when he heard me yelling and questioning, he just smiled weakly and explained his doubts hoarsely: "The jar of wine that Yun'er sent me rolled down the cliff, I'll go pick it up..."

How do I know at this moment that Jiang Wuque ran to the edge of the cliff to drink, he was so drunk, the wine jar rolled down from his hands, his eyes were dazzled, he went to pick it up, and rolled down.

Fortunately, his life is big, and the cliffs are jagged and scattered. Compared with the section beside Tie Xinlan's grave, which is as straight as a knife, there is an extra boulder to save his life.

After that is recuperation.I was completely trapped on the Xianyun Inn, taking care of Jiang Wuque's decoction.

And he lay in bed in a coma for many days, but he still couldn't seem to wake up.

In fact, I had a hunch that I would come and go without reason, so I would make Jiang Wuque feel uncomfortable.But he never thought that he would make himself like this.

Another night, I moved a chair and sat by the man's bed, keeping watch for him.

Unexpectedly, without sleep for days, people can't bear it anymore, and they nod their heads forward and doze off.

I don't know what kind of dream I had in that moment of bewilderment, I just felt my body lighten up, I fell forward, there was a sound of "dong", there was a dull pain in my forehead, but I fell asleep completely past.

When I opened my eyes, it was already the morning of the second day.What I saw in front of me was the palm of a person wrapped in a white cloth. The wound on the hand was extremely deep, and it opened again after several treatments.

This time it was not immune, although the blood did not flow everywhere, there was a faint blush on the white cloth.

I recalled the scene last night, the soft thing between my forehead and the edge of the bed was clearly this palm.

My heart tightened for no reason, and I raised my head.

Seeing that Jiang Wuque was awake, lying on the bed, looking at me quietly without blinking.

I wanted to move his arm, but I saw his eyebrows frowned slightly, with a patient look on his face.

Only then did I remember that his palms were pillowed on me all night, he couldn't move, and the blood couldn't flow smoothly, at this moment he should be numb and sore, very uncomfortable.

"Unexpectedly..."

I massaged Jiang Wuque's acupoints, but suddenly I heard him say a few words, the voice was rough and unpleasant, I didn't raise my head, so I asked back: "Can't think of anything?"

"I didn't expect to see you again." There was a smile in his words, even though I never went to see him.

Another two days in a row, reincarnation back and forth, the past reappeared.

I poured tea and medicine to take care of him, and he looked at me all the way without saying much.

Until one time when I fed the medicine, he sat up propped up and held my hand.

After a while, he let go again, held that extremely pale finger to my lips, and asked me, "Is that okay?"

I frowned, "Jiang Wuque, don't do this."

"Is it okay?" His fingers had already touched my lips, I kept my mouth shut, and after a while, he withdrew his hand.

That night he talked nonsense in his dream, scratching in mid-air without knowing what he wanted to grab, "Don't go..." I heard him say these three words most clearly.

I naturally knew that he was talking about me, but I didn't know if the me in his heart was as important as the pity star back then.

I know that he is ashamed and pity me, but at least that pity should be unique and different from others.

"Jiang Wuque, wake up..." I wiped his sweat with a soft cloth to wake him up.

The first thing he did when he opened his eyes was grabbing my hand and letting out a breath as if he was relieved from a heavy burden.

"You are here..." He smiled at me, and said again: "Go to sleep, don't worry about me."

"Jiang Wuque," I asked out of nowhere, "do you really care about me that much?"

He was neither surprised nor abrupt when he heard the words, as if it was perfectly natural, he smiled and did not say the answer.

I felt cold in my heart, but he called me again and told me: "Tomorrow, I don't know who's turn to visit me on the mountain, I'm wronged you to hide in the dark first, don't show your face."

I had already stood up and stood in front of his bed, staring at the person on the bed in disbelief, unable to figure out what I was in his heart.

"Surplus?" Seeing me in a daze, he called out to me.

"Don't worry," I said, "They won't see me tomorrow, they won't see me the day after tomorrow, and they won't see me again in this lifetime!"

After finishing speaking, he was about to leave the room, but suddenly there was a "plop" sound behind him, he turned his head to look, but saw Jiang Wuque fell to the ground, the quilt was dragged by him, tangled up in a ball, extremely embarrassed.

I didn't leave, and I didn't look back, I wish I could slap myself.

But I can't let him go, I gritted my teeth and walked up to help him, but I saw him lying back on the bed holding my hand, and there was still that faint and gentle smile between our eyes, which was not obvious, hanging between his lips, looking It's infuriating.

I let go of my hand, and he called out immediately: "Wait."

"Are you angry that I don't allow you to see them?" he asked.

I hate him for asking knowingly.

"You can't see them," he straightened up, as if he was just saying it to himself, "they can't see you..."

I was slightly taken aback, and asked back, "What did you say?"

"You are dead, how can you see them?"

"I'm not dead." I was at a loss, and turned around to correct, "Didn't you know? I'm not dead, I'm still alive, didn't you already know?"

Jiang Wuque shook his head on the pillow, and looked at me without blinking, "No, you died in front of me, I know, you died by my hands."

"Jiang Wuque!" I was about to drag him up from the bed, "Look clearly! I have flesh and blood, how can I look like a dead person?!"

He still shook his head and closed his eyes, "You are indeed dead. I tried my breath and felt my pulse. I thought there was a glimmer of life, but I missed it." His eyes trembled slowly under his eyelids, "... ...It was the sword I stabbed on your shoulder. You drove the poison out of Xinlan, and the sword lured you out. Wearing clothes, knowing nothing—it was me, it was caused by my sword, I killed you, Sun Yingyu, it was me who killed you!!"

Bang—he punched hard on the bed board, and there was an unexpected bang, the empty walls made my heart ache.

I pulled him up without any scruples and asked him to open his eyes, "Look at me, look at me, Jiang Wuque, I lied to you, I deliberately retaliated against you for hurting me with a sword, so I faked my death, you didn't You didn’t kill me—have you heard, I wasn’t killed by you, I didn’t die!!”

If I had known that fleeing from death that day would make Jiang Wuque blame himself like today, then I would rather be trapped in the Yu point forever than kill him.

You have to know how much he is a person who likes to take the wrong upper body, it doesn't matter if he has anything to do with him, he will regard himself as the one who deserves to die.

What's more, this time it was really his sword that ended me.

I argued with him for a long time, but he couldn't listen to my words that life was not death, so he leaned close to him in a hurry and called him, "Jiang Wuque."

He raised his eyes slightly.

I said, "Do you want to prove it? Shall I prove it to you right now?"

After speaking, he kissed his lips.

He stretched his body slightly, but he didn't get rid of it after all. He looked at me with half-opened eyes.

I stretched out the tip of my tongue to lick his lips, and he opened his lips slightly, letting the tip of my tongue go all the way inward.

During this period, his eyes were half closed, and the corners of his lips slowly curled up.And I kept looking at him, seeing him change from laughing to being intoxicated, neither pushing me away, nor numb as if he didn't have any consciousness——a flash of the most indescribable thing flashed in my mind vocabulary:

Fallen.