Simulation: Great Power Technology

Test chapter! The word count is still the same as the official chapter!

Update in 20 minutes!

36. In the second year of high school, the head teacher was a wretched middle-aged man with glasses. He was always sneaking up on the classmates who were talking in the late self-study. One night, he quietly put his head in through the old-fashioned window with the anti-theft iron railing, and suddenly growled: "Whoever talks about getting out!" The whole class fell silent. A minute later, his faint voice floated above his head: "Well, my head is stuck here and I can't get out. Who of you can help me?"

37. When I was in junior high school, I provoked others and was blocked by more than 20 people on weekends. I rushed into the toilet at that time and dragged out a shit stirrer full of shoals. You guessed it right! The scene reversed in an instant, and I was chasing a group of people by myself!

38. I was walking on the road today, and saw a woman of about 180 jins coming across. When I passed by, my friend suddenly said, this woman is so fat! The woman turned around and gave me a slap. My brother was on fire at the time. He rolled up his sleeves and went up to fight with her. Later, if my friend hadn't stopped me, I would have been beaten to death by her.

39. Interviewer: "Your resume says that you have a fast mental arithmetic speed, so let me ask you, what is nineteen times seventeen?" I blurted out: "Thirty-six!" Interviewer: "That's not good either. It's too far." Me: "But right soon."

40. I bought a durian today. Because my family didn't like the smell, I secretly ate it in my room. When I was just eating, my 4-year-old cousin gave me the dishes. Said to me: "Sister, eat more, if it's not enough, I'll give you this bowl too. Don't hide in the bedroom and eat shit by yourself in the future."

41. I saw a sugar cane seller on my way home from Valentine's Day last year. I bought one when I wanted to eat it. When I got home, I met my mother walking the dog. My mother said: Every girl brings a boyfriend to hold a bouquet of flowers. Look at you again. Carrying a golden hoop like a monkey.

42. When I went to school in the morning, I only wore long sleeves. My mother took a coat and handed it to me and said: Put it on quickly, or I will wake up in class. . Damn, this absolute mother...

43. My wife is very special. Yesterday, I was bitten by the dog at home. This guy is not angry. He also gave the dog a good bath and dried it with a hair dryer. I was wondering if she wanted to repay her grievances with virtue. But, when the climax came, she gorgeously bit the dog, and the dog ran away with a miserable sound...

44. I need to leave at 4:00 in the morning for a business trip, but when I woke up at 3:00, I saw my wife fiddling with food in the kitchen. I was moved and said: You cooked breakfast for me so early. The wife turned around and looked surprised: why did you get up? I, I, I will cook a supper...

45. When I was young, my mother beat me for doing wrong things, so I always fantasized about my mother working to make money, and how good my father was at home; it was not until puberty came after I entered junior high school, when I grew up, and people resisted beatings, I knew that my father didn’t beat us when we were young. Afraid of killing me.

46. ​​I have liked a goddess for a long time. Before I gave her a gift, she would accept it. Recently I gave her a gift, and she always said to me: You can save it. The goddess is so good, she wants to save me money! I think I still have hope

47. Two days ago, the teacher called and said that my son scored 9 in Chinese and 17 in mathematics. The child's partial subject is too serious, and he is light and airy without pressure. I gave him a good beating, not to mention, this test is much better. , Chinese and mathematics are 17 points.

48. There is a chicken that is very strange. It doesn't like digging for bugs. It likes to dig bracken by nature. The other chicks laughed at him and he was sad. The mother chicken comforted him and said: "Don't cry stupid child, you are the strongest" "Really?" "Well, because you are just digging fern chickens"

49. Today, I took a long-distance bus from the city to my hometown. It took about 4 hours. It was a rugged mountain road. A diaosi girl's phone is loud in the car, which means that her boyfriend invited her to eat seafood at noon, where did he take him to play, all kinds of show off, not long after the motion sickness, vomited, Nima vomited all over the place Tomato noodles.

50. My mother came to the Internet cafe to catch me. I hurriedly stared at the screen and played games seriously, because serious men are the most handsome. I must be so handsome that my mom doesn't even know me.

51. Me: "If I take the initiative to give something to others, then I don't feel bad about how much I give. But if the other party insists on me wanting it, I will be very disgusted, and I would rather throw it than give it." Teacher: "This tm is the reason why you don't hand in your homework?"

52. In a debate, Watt said excitedly: "I have observed for a long time and found that heating at the bottom of the basin will make the water boil and the boiling water will produce water vapor. The power of this water vapor is very large! It can even push Above..."

"I didn't ask you that!" the judge interrupted Watt. "I mean, did you really not find your dad in the tub?"

53. On the road, the old man accidentally rubbed against the car of a social youth while riding a bicycle, and there were some scratches on the body. The young man yelled at the old man and asked him to lose money, and the old man was so anxious that he cried. At this time, a kind old aunt in the crowd whispered to the uncle: "Lie down, uncle, you understand...". The old man blushed and replied angrily: "I understand your sister, how long do you still think about that..."

Gu Yan 54. Cao Cao was full of wine, and Guan Yu said, "Wait until I kill Hua Xiong and then drink this wine." Then he flew on his horse, and the drum beat loudly.

When Guan Yu returned to the central army tent, Cao Cao praised: "The wine in the cup is still warm."

Guan Yu also took a sip of the wine: "It's still hot, where did you buy this thermos? I want to buy one too."

55. Young man: Master, why are you so wise to become a monk?

Master: Because of some mundane things.

Young man: Can you give me an example?

Master: No lift!

56. In the countryside, I asked my son to help his grandmother drive the ducks in the pond home. After calling a few times, he was unmoved. I yelled at my son in anger, "Are you going?" The son looked wronged: "Don't force me, you know, you can't force it to drive birds."

57. I was walking on the road at night, and a group of people rushed towards the opposite side. I stood there motionless and watched them go away. A girl next to me suddenly called out, "Brother, you are so brave, leave a number?" I didn't see her say "go away", and then I silently picked up the five yuan that was on the bottom of my foot!

58. I flipped through her wedding album with my mother, and my mother said, "I really want to go back to the time when your father proposed to me." I asked curiously, "Is it very romantic at that time?" On the photo album: "I knew you looked like this, I should have rejected your father at that time,"

59. One day on the road, I met an old lady who touched porcelain. She didn't want to leave without asking for money. I was anxious. When I recalled that there was a very powerful skill in the joke, I picked up the phone and pretended to make a call. Dad, put half a million on my card, I'm going to kill someone. At this time, the old lady slapped me on the ground with a big slap in the face, driving an electric car and pretending to be rich and handsome. And then... I lay down on the ground calmly!

60. A buddy had his daughter-in-law give birth to a child in the hospital, and he waited anxiously outside the door. . . Half an hour later, the nurse came out and said to him excitedly: "xx, congratulations, you are a father, you are going to be a son". Do you think this is gc? Then you are wrong, GC is my buddy who came to a more shocking sentence: "Haha, I finally become a son". The hospital was petrified on the spot!

61. On the day of receiving the marriage certificate, it was time for the photo session. The pair in front of us took a photo first, the man first and then the woman. When it was our turn, I said to my wife: "You go first." The wife said : "It's up to you to go first!" The photographer silently said: "You two want a photo together, the pair in front are divorced..."

62. In autumn, every time I come home, I take off the autumn clothes, then take off the bra, and then put on the autumn clothes. I thought it was troublesome, so I got into the habit of wearing my bra over autumn clothes and then putting on my coat. Once, when I saw the male god, in a cafe, the air conditioner was warm. I was hot, so I took off my coat without thinking about it...! ! ! I still can't forget the eyes of the male god! ! ! !

63. Thinking about it now, it is no wonder that in ancient times women were not allowed to be officials. Imagine a prisoner on trial. The female officer asked the prisoner: "Do you know the crime?" He continued like this: "Hey, you're right, how could you be wrong."

64. I remember that when I was in the first grade of primary school, I got three good students. The head teacher told me: You will be the first to receive the award later, so you must be polite. I nodded solemnly. At the school meeting, the principal called me and gave me a certificate. So, I knelt down and solemnly kowtowed three times to the principal. From then on, I am an ageless legend in our school. . .

65. A person walks into the supermarket and buys the following items: 1 toothbrush, 1 toothpaste, 1 roll of toilet paper; 1 frozen dinner, 1 box of popcorn. The cashier said, "Are you single?" The man replied sarcastically, "How do you know, because I only buy one copy of everything?" The woman replied, "No, it's because you look good. Ugly."

66. I bought a pair of new pants for my second-hand husband today... He came back in less than ten minutes after going out and broke his knee. I said angrily: You broke the pants you just bought in less than ten minutes! Who knows that the second-hand husband said aggrievedly: I'm sorry~ I didn't have time to take off my pants when I fell. . . I:……………

67. When I was a child, I was only four or five years old. I slept in the same bed with my father and mother, and pulled up the bed in the middle of the night. I was afraid that my parents would see it. My mother's leg was smashed, and Xiangquan greeted my dad's face with one hand. You will never know my dad's spiteful eyes.

68. I brought a buddy from the dormitory to play at home. I met my dad at the door, so I introduced him to him: "This is my dad." Who knew that buddy didn't know what was going on, and he also called out: "Dad." My dad froze for a moment, sighed, touched my head and said, "Child, you have grown up, Dad respects your decision, as long as you are happy."