Since 1983

There is a very popular movie genre in the West, midlife crisis.

We don't pay much attention to it, and the number of works is scarce. The best one in so many years is still Men Forty. 囧囧 in Hong Kong and the like are rubbish, but in essence they are still shitty comedies.

Love Call Transfer is also marginal, and no one will watch it after serious discussion. This kind of topic is not a big deal in China, what about a mid-life crisis, they are all full.

One dining table, one on each side, and the sitting distance is far away.

The lights were dim, and Wu Yujuan was used to it and agreed with it while eating noodles with fried sauce and watching TV dramas. She didn't think there was anything wrong with this kind of life, let alone anything wrong.

Ge You looked at her, Shall we divorce?

Hmm... what?

Let's get a divorce.

why?

No reason.

Is there someone outside you?

No.

She kept asking, but he kept denying, and finally said impatiently: Forget it, never leave.

This attitude made his wife very angry, and Lao Ge was also driven into a hurry, saying: Okay, then I will explain the reason. You always wear this black sweater at home, and the black sweater is what annoys me the most.

Toothbrushing cups must always be placed on the second shelf of the shelf, and there must be no bad marks. Toothpaste must be squeezed from the bottom up, so what if I squeeze it from the middle?

Zhajiangmian twice a week, one meal for three days, one meal for four days. Just eat it, and you have to watch this kind of vulgar TV series...

Is that the reason?

...

Okay, let's leave, let's leave!

Snapped!

The seven-handed brother who had been ringing hit the wall and fell apart.

Ge You dragged his suitcase and left home late at night, found Liang Tian's repair shop, and got a new phone number: Every time you press, there will be an affair, a total of ten chances.

He pressed the first button, and it rained instantly, stopping cars on the rainy night streets.

Didi!

A taxi was coming, and he pressed both hands on the door at the same time, and he looked up.

Wow!

The audience, especially the male audience, made subtle voices in admiration for this setting.

The first and second floors seemed to be two worlds, Jiang Wen and others also frowned, vulgar! Vulgar! How did Mr. Xu use this to lead the charge?

Standing in front of Ge You was a tall, delicate woman who was both pure and charming. The thin long skirt was drenched by the rain, with hot curves.

He gave up the car, but his clothes were caught in the car door, and the dog gnawed shit. The woman took the initiative to invite him to the house.

Excellent background for rainy nights, taxis, beauties, and romantic encounters.

But this movie is just teasing the audience, making people think that there is an affair.

Ge You played a sullen middle-aged man very well, took off the ring secretly, entered the beauty's house shyly, and asked deliberately: Aren't you afraid that I'm a bad guy?

You look like an honest man, come in, wash your face and change your clothes.

Da Taohong was even more coquettish, she untied her hair and went into the bathroom.

With a hand stretched back, the zipper opened. Pull it again, revealing the bra buttons on the back, and then take it off.

brush! The camera shot to the bottom, the long skirt fell to the ground, two white and round thighs, and then the bra and panties piled up, and the sound of splashing water came out.

In an instant, the atmosphere of the video hall changed, and the audience was looking forward to it, but just as Ge You was about to take a step, his foot slipped, pia! The screen turned and returned to Liang Tian.

Hey, what's going on? He was confused.

Is this the reply?

Liang Tian sat behind the counter covered with various small advertisements, wearing a white vest and big pants.

Believe me, believe me, it's really an Aventure phone call.

Ge You was very excited and wretched, and then he was dissatisfied: Why did you get rid of me? I'm about to start.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I thought you were going to divorce Yaner, and I might not get used to it for a while, but I didn't expect to get into the state very quickly.

Liang Tian filed something, which seemed to be half a heart made of iron, Go ahead, don't bother me.

The opportunity to go to bed for the first time is often the most direct, but the second time you have to lay the groundwork.

Men invite each other to watch movies, eat, high-end western restaurants. The woman skillfully sliced ​​a piece of steak and said with a smile, I can't see that you are quite financially powerful.

There is more than enough to support you.

That's not necessarily the case. My attitude towards life is consumption. Money is for spending, not for saving. If one person spends one person, and two people spend two people, you can't accept it...

No, no, I can accept it. I'm not an old antique.

Ge You paused, and asked: But I want to ask, do you think deposits are not important?

Life is short, enjoy yourself in time. If I don't enjoy myself while I'm young and beautiful, it's useless to have more money when I'm old.

Da Taohong leaned forward, charming like a goblin, and said with a smile: I gave you a chance to choose, don't slap your face swollen and look fat.

I've never been fat in my life, so where can I spend my money?

He didn't care.

Followed by bang bang bang, the face was wiped out.

A quick montage of outrageous shopping and money flowing out of an ATM (already had it in the late 80s).

When he held the passbook tremblingly and looked at the poor balance, he finally couldn't bear it anymore.

I said, don't slap your face to make yourself fat. In fact, you are a good person, nothing more than poor.

oh!

The second floor basically understood, it turned out to be this routine.

Lao Ge is obsessed with the other party's charming style, but he can't afford the high consumption. He talks about finding someone to live at home, and presses the second button cruelly.

So Xu Fan appeared.

Life is simple, looks and figure are not bad, and housework is even better. Lao Ge was overjoyed for a few days, but soon found that this woman was a bit too good at it.

The dishwashing liquid is fake, so you can't use such a large amount. I mix out half of it and add some water to it and use it as usual.

Hurry up, hurry up! Oh, the vegetable market is the cheapest at this time, hurry up!

Don't throw away the socks, I'll mend them for you and you can still wear them.

Being frugal is not a bad habit. Lao Ge endured it patiently. When he accompanied a client to eat Japanese food and showed his patched socks, he couldn't bear it again.

Home is enough, but don't be too vulgar. Life must be a little passionate.

Then you continue to press.

So the third one.

Young and sexy, lively and playful, Xiao Cao Ying, who can drive a motorcycle and is good at various sports, is released.

There were too many people in the original version, so I didn’t have any details later, and I got to know each other somehow. In this edition of five, each of them has a process of getting acquainted, feeling good, having conflicts, and breaking up.

As soon as Cao Ying came out, he scratched Ge You on his motorcycle.

A good 20-year-old girl took him to dance, skate, and eat KFC, which fully reflected the age gap. KFC can't get enough! When Ge You escaped from the ballroom to eat noodles at the small restaurant, the audience burst out laughing.

These can be overcome, the key is that he has no sense of security.

Girls are fun and have many friends, many of whom are of the opposite sex. Every time Lao Ge would feel jealous, and then feel insecure.

Slowly, the audience also understood, but they were just attracted by the plot and didn't think about it for a while.

On the TV was the World Cup final scene, Baggio's lonely back. In the bar, a group of young people were arguing fiercely, and Lao Ge seemed out of place.

How can you kick it away? Penalty kick!

I can kick in!

then!

Cao Ying kicked out and hit him right in the face.

boom!

Hahaha!

Seeing the reality stalk in the movie, the audience finds it very strange, as if a certain sense of distance has been eliminated.

Ge You was kicked into the hospital, pressed the fourth button, and met the policewoman who came for the physical examination.

The policewoman feels the best, but she is too principled, but it is acceptable. But people don't accept it and don't get along with divorced men.

To the fifth, the scariest.

The psychiatrist played by Jiang Shan is just like a pervert, who is always tested with questions and answers, and always analyzes the man's inner thoughts through subtle movements.

You want to come to my house?

Why should I go to your house?

You know better than me that this is a common tactic you men use. It's best if you can make physical contact. If you can't, just keep it for monitoring. If you can get into bed, go to bed. If you can't, let it go immediately.

you want to sleep with me

No, no!

Then why are you chewing gum so hard? You sniffed your armpits just now. Do you have body odor?

I really don't want to sleep with you, only my grandson... No, of course I also want to, but I don't think about it now!

...

The audience looked at each other, what a scary woman.

Let's do a multiple-choice question. You're locked in a burning house. Your escape route is:

A, door. B, the back door. C, windows. D, jump off a building. E, wait for the firemen to come.

Well……

Ge You scratched his head and said, I'll wait for the firefighters.

oh.

Jiang Shan remained expressionless and continued to eat.

What's the answer? he asked again.

Your affair index is 150 percent.

…………

After five women, Ge You returns to the repair shop.

He slumped on the sofa, feeling hopeless: You have successfully made me despair of women.

Liang Tian kept filing that half of his heart, persuading him: Don't lose heart, there are still five chances.

Through your previous choices, let me sum it up for you: you want to find a woman who is beautiful, can live a life, is interesting, obeys the rules, and understands you.

Is there?

Yes, your mother.

Why are you still scolding people?

Only your mother can accommodate everything about you.

Ge You resentfully remained silent, and said in silence for a while: Actually, I don't have high requirements. I just want to find a normal, ordinary woman who can live a peaceful life with me. Why are all of them crazy?

Did you really know them? Did you really admire them?

Liang Tian threw away his heart, lit a cigarette, and said, Including your ex-wife.

How many times have you gone to the toilet without flushing it, how many times have you flicked ash into her favorite orchid, how many times have you come home drunk in the middle of the night and played crazy?

Have you understood and admired her? Have you reflected on yourself?

...

The soft music sounded, and Ge You stopped talking, as if lost in memory.

Finally, he stood up abruptly.

Hey, why are you here?

Let me tell you, you won't believe it. I met an angel, Land Yuelao. Anyway, I don't know what it is...

No, you, Old Zhang? Old Zhang?

Wu Yujuan was at a loss for her ex-husband who suddenly broke into the house, she yelled twice, and a person came out from the back room, it was Zhang Guoli.

The scene was once very delicate.

Ge You was stunned, and asked, Who is he?

My husband, I'm married.

Wu Yujuan introduced happily, and said without any concealment, Here, this is the one in front of me.

oh oh!

Zhang Guoli came to his senses and shook hands quickly: Hello, senior.

Hahaha!

Everyone laughed.

Ge You was forced to stay in the same table in embarrassment, he sat at one end, and the two of them sat at the other end.

The lights are warm and bright.

Senior, let me tell you, don't be polite, just like being at your own home. My wife's fried noodles are the best, and there are not many in the whole capital...

Complicated and proud, Wu Yujuan said softly, Stop talking, eat quickly.

Okay, you serve food for the guests!

Wu Yujuan paused, picked up a chopstick and went over, Sorry, it's fried noodles again.

No, it's okay.

Ge You fiddled with the fried noodles, lowered his head, and ate big mouthfuls.

…………

At night, under the street lights.

Liang Tian held up a sign that read: Guide the way, catch thieves, catch perverts.

Sitting on the curb, Ge You said, My wife...my ex-wife is very happy, really, really happy.

Her happiness is her business, your happiness is on the phone.

...

Ge You took out the phone silently, I'll give it back to you.

How about five more chances? How about I change it for you, I have a new batch, and I can press it two hundred times.

No, thanks to you, I guess I'll devote the rest of my life to my career. Maybe you're right, no one in this world is ready for you...

He was expressing his emotions when Liang Tian slapped his arms and suddenly flew up.

After Ge You finished nagging, he looked up and said, You really can fly?

Go down to earth with justice and serve the people, don't forget to burn a pennant!

Liang Tian waved his hand and flew away unsteadily.

...

The screen went dark, two years later.

At a campus fan meeting, the old wolf was singing: Whoever married you who is sentimental, who comforts you who loves to cry...

On-site real shooting, real fan club.

Ge You, who is devoted to his career, has a mature temperament and a neat personality, without the sloppy appearance of the past. He was listening to the song, and suddenly someone who was late came over, I'm sorry, please let me go.

Liu Bei sat beside them, they looked at each other and pointed at each other.

Old Ge!

Little Bei!

Aren't you earning a dollar abroad? When did you come back?

I've been back for three months, and I still want to find you.

After Laolang sang You at the Same Table, he said on stage: The following is a new song, and it is also a very special song.

How many windows have you wandered in and how many hotels have you stayed in before you feel that separation is not wrong...

We haven't seen each other for how many years?

Five years?

More than that, I've been younger for ten years. Didn't you go out after graduating from college?

Yeah, you don't seem to have changed at all, oh no, your hair is gone.

Where's your wife?

I've been divorced for several years.

Hey, that would be great. It's just that you always bully me and always pull my braids.

Your dad is still the dean, chasing me and beating me.

Just for this little vinegar, the dumplings were made. Just for this drama, I specially organized a fan club.

Transfer the warmth of one person to another's chest, let the mistakes made last time reflect on dreams...

The two old classmates chatted and stopped talking. They watched the stage and listened to the song with smiles in their eyes.

And Liu Bei quietly opened the bag, took out the exact same phone, threw it on the ground, and kicked it away.

Love doesn't stop, how brave it takes to go to the end of time. Don't be disappointed, the heart-stirring is for the most beautiful ordinary...