Tang's dining table

On the first day of February, Yunchu finally stepped into the Tai Chi Hall, the center of the political center of the Tang Dynasty, under the envious eyes of his fellow prisoners who had been blown by the cold wind in the past.

A young eunuch led Yunchu to a corner on the right side of the hall with this three-foot-square blanket. After putting down the mat, he motioned for Yunchu to take off his shoes, and then took away Yunchu's shoes.

At this time, the smell in the hall was already very bad.

They were obviously the most noble people in the Tang Dynasty, but there was still a horrible smell of feet lingering in the hall.

If it was just the smell of foot odor, Yunchu felt that he could tolerate it. After all, he had spent half a month in the Western Regions with a large group of dead people.

However, it was not just the smell of feet, there were also people farting one after another, especially the group of generals on the left. They seemed to be farting in a competition, and they were laughing.

...Is this the most serious and noble place in the Tang Dynasty?

A guy who looked like he was also a fifth-level military general raised his buttocks and let out a long, loud and extremely smelly fart towards Yun Chu. Then he proudly said to the civil servants who were covering their noses at Yun Chu: "If you are not convinced, you can come and beat me. If you can't beat me, just let me endure it. A group of sour men are worthy of discussing the future of honor and disgrace of the great masters."

It was the first time that Yun Chu saw such a mean person in the world. He picked up the ivory wat board that was half a foot longer than other people's wat boards. With a strong effort on his legs, he jumped over and lifted the heavy wat board. , slapped the pouty old Gao hard on the butt.

"Pa--" A loud noise suddenly spread throughout the Tai Chi Hall.

"Ouch -" followed by an extremely shrill scream resounded through the Tai Chi Hall once again.

When Yun Chu looked at the broken ivory wat board in his hand and felt a little regretful, a civil servant next to him who was also wearing a red robe silently took out his elm wat board from his sleeve and handed it to Yun Chu.

Yun Chu politely thanked him, and while the guy was still in severe pain and had no chance to react, he put one foot on his back, picked up the heavy elm wat board, and followed this The guy's buttocks and back were spanked hard, and he finally stopped after taking thirty blows.

And the general screamed like a slaughtering pig continuously, causing everyone in the court to look this way. The leaders, Li Ji and Changsun Wuji, stood up suddenly, looking very angry.

Yun Chu's hand is very heavy, especially because his concept of hitting is different from others. Either he doesn't strike, but once he strikes, he will do his best without giving the other party any room to fight back.

The reason why I took action was entirely because of the recent popularity of "fart fights" in the court!

As soon as the civil servant opens his mouth, the sound of farts from the military commander's side is endless. It made the whole court stink.

This method of fighting can be traced back to the early years of Emperor Taizong. The instigator was Yuchi Jingde, who was lying at home not knowing whether he was alive or dead.

Emperor Taizong asked him angrily why he was so rude, and Yuchi Jingde said that most of the military generals were from reckless backgrounds. When they argued with civil officials in the court, they were stupid and couldn't defeat them, so they had to use the art of war.

In other words, if the mouth can't compare, just use the mouth below to supplement it.

However, the most bizarre thing is that Emperor Taizong did not refute Yuchi Jingde, so this fighting method was passed down. From the earliest one or two people using this method to the current collective air pollution. (Historical facts, not fabrications)

Yunchu could imagine that when Yuchi Jingde farted against the civil servants, it must be that the civil servants' speech was extremely inconsistent with Emperor Taizong's mood, so he turned a blind eye to Yuchi Jingde's fart war.

It's just that Emperor Taizong didn't expect that this bad habit would spread to Li Zhi. Emperor Taizong didn't prohibit it, so Li Zhi naturally wouldn't prohibit it either.

Yun Chu struck hard. Seeing that the fifth-grade general's ass was opened, the general group immediately exploded, pointing at Yun Chu and yelling and cursing. There were many people gearing up to fight Yun Chu. field.

Yun Chu held up the wat board and said, "If you want to scold me, we will continue. If you want to fight, we will go to the military field and have a fight. If anyone dares to fart with their buttocks towards me, let's go down." Nothing is so cheap once, I will stick the barrel of a gun in it and you will never be able to fart for the rest of your life."

The generals had seen Yun Chu's bravery as early as when they ordered the generals. It was not that there were no people in the army who could beat Yun Chu, but it was definitely not something that they, who had long since regenerated their flesh, could deal with him.

In addition, a few days ago, Li Yifu, who was blessed by the Holy Family, had just finished his oath to prevent Yun Chu from entering the Tai Chi Hall again in this life. As a result, only a few days later, Yun Chu had already entered the Tai Chi Hall. He was so arrogant that he beat a fifth-grade military attache to death.

From the screams of the military attache just now, you can know that this guy didn't show any mercy.

The imperial censor came over to look at the military attache's injuries. After confirming that they were flesh wounds, he asked, "Zhang Du, can you still go to court?"

Zhang Du, the general of the left-leading army guard who was beaten by Yunchu, said weakly: "Please allow me to ask for leave."

The censor in the hall waved, and two guards came and carefully helped Zhang Du out of the hall.

Seeing Zhang Du being dragged away, the censor in the palace said again: "Please abide by the etiquette before the emperor, and don't do it again."

After saying that, he went back to his seat without asking anything about Yun Chu. Li Ji, who was standing at the front, managed to say out loud for some reason: "Magistrate Yun might as well come here to show off his power."

Changsun Wuji was standing next to him and said with a smile: "I have absorbed all the loud farts made by Ying Gong, and they will not affect the Huangkou boy."

When Li Ji saw that the head of the civil service, Sun Wuji, had spoken, he snorted angrily and sat back down.

The middle-aged official who lent Yun Chu the Wat Tablet took back the Wat Tablet that Yun Chu had given him and whispered, "It's better to hear more about the loud farts of Mr. Ying."

Yun Chu raised his hands to the other party and said, "I am Yun Chu, the magistrate of Wannian County. I don't know your brother's surname."

The middle-aged civil servant returned the courtesy and said, "I don't dare, my foolish brother Li Jingxuan is now working as a scholar in the middle school and earning a little salary to support his family."

In Yun Chu's memory, this person was once as famous as Pei Xingjian. He also heard that this person had the ability to remember things with photographic memory. Now, facing such a person, Yun Chu was prepared to carry out his cautious words and deeds to the end.

After all, no one likes to have a tape recorder next to them when they are talking to others, lest one day they accidentally say a joke or two, only to be told the truth in another situation, leaving them unable to defend themselves.

As the eunuch reminded the ministers with a long voice that the emperor had arrived, everyone stood up one after another and saluted the emperor's seat with a tablet in hand.

The etiquette was very simple. The emperor said that all the ministers should be level, and everyone returned to their own blankets, knelt and sat there, and began to attend court attentively.

Usually at this time, the matters discussed in the court have nothing to do with a lowly official like Yun Chu.

The Tai Chi Hall is astonishingly large, with a distance of eighty meters from the emperor's seat to Yunchu's place. In addition, there are twelve coiled dragon bronze pillars in the hall, and the pillars are filled with charcoal fire. This makes the Tai Chi Hall even though it is It's big, but it's as warm as spring inside.

For some reason, Yun Chu started to feel sleepy after entering the hall. He knew that this was actually due to the large number of people in the hall and the slight lack of oxygen caused by the twelve furnaces.

So, he steeled himself, took out a copper pot from his pocket, and poured himself a cup of tea. Seeing Li Jingxuan looking at him in surprise, he gave Li Jingxuan a cup as well.

Although the Yun family's tea was bitter, it was fragrant. The two of them used their large official robes as cover to enjoy the tea slowly.

"The Tubo people have been contacting the Nanzhao tribes in Bozhou for six consecutive years. Generally speaking, it started in the year of Taizong Bintian. However, Tubo had very little to give to the Nanzhao tribes, so the Nanzhao tribes The Ministry has always only taken advantage of it and did not follow the footsteps of Tubo.

However, this has changed since last year. As the bandits of the Tang Dynasty robbed Lu Dongzan's daughter in the Riyue Mountain area, Qiu Xinggong, Qiu Shenji and his son murdered the Tubo envoy, and killed Lu Dongzan on the Xianyang Bridge. After being the eldest son of Dongzan, Lu Dongzan began to win over the Nanzhao tribes at all costs.

At present, if the Tang Dynasty still adopts a high-pressure stance against the Nanzhao tribes, those stupid Nanzhao barbarians may turn to Tubo. "

After hearing Li Jingxuan's opinions, Yunchu listened for a while to the Bozhou matter being discussed, and then whispered: "Brother Li has such insight, why don't you just go to the doctor?"

Li Jingxuan shook his head and said: "The memorial from Zhongshu Sheren will not attract His Majesty's attention. It must be memorialized in the name of Zhongshu Sheng.

You have also heard that the opinions of the people in Zhongshu Province are inclined to put pressure on Nanzhao. They have different opinions, just like insects in summer talking about ice, wind, horse and cow are irrelevant. "

Yun Chu picked up the tea cup and said, "Here you are, let me have a drink."

Seeing what Yun Chu said was funny, Li Jingxuan smiled, raised his glass, touched it with Yun Chu, and drank it all in one gulp.

Soon, the matters in Nanzhao were discussed, and today was the scene where last year's new scholars met with the emperor.

The names of the new scholars were ordinary. It was not until Yun Chu suddenly heard the word "Zhong Kui" that he suddenly became energetic.

Li Jingxuan said in surprise: "Is this Zhong Kui an old acquaintance of yours?"

Yun Chu looked at Li Jingxuan's good-looking face and said, "I heard that this person is very ugly. I didn't expect that this person could also be a Jinshi."

Li Jingxuan said in surprise: "Does the county magistrate also judge people by their appearance?"

Yun Chu said in surprise: "Look at all the princes in the court, none of them are dignified in appearance. How can they tolerate an ugly person in this elegant hall?"

Li Jingxuan shook his head and said: "If you judge a person by his appearance, how can the imperial court recruit scholars if you lose your son-in-law..."

While he was talking, he saw a strong man eight feet tall, with a face like the bottom of a pot, a leopard head and eyes, and a beard all over his face, walking in from outside the main hall. Even though this man was obviously shrinking his pace, he still looked like a dragon and a tiger. Yes, different from ordinary people.

Li Jingxuan frowned and said, "This is too ugly."

At this time, Yun Chu looked at this extremely ugly man with a smile and said, "I actually like this person. If Your Majesty doesn't take this person for a while, I am willing to take this person under the rule of my Wannian County."

"Hey, didn't you just say that ugly people should not be officials?"

Yun Chu smiled and said: "There are too many demons and monsters in Chang'an City, and they need someone like this to suppress them."

There is one more chapter, you read it first, I will continue