Ten Days End

He said he would wait for my reply.

How could I reply?

I really wanted to agree. I really wanted to go home with a person I love every day and say "Thank you for your hard work today".

I wanted to cook a messy dinner together when we were resting, and then eat it cleanly with a smile and frown.

I wanted someone to listen to me saying "I'm so tired" when I was tired, and then I could lean on his shoulder and cry silently for a while.

But is that the kind of life I deserve?

This morning when I was preparing breakfast, the buttered bread fell from my hand. I thought it would stain the carpet, but I quickly bent down and caught it.

This action was very beautiful, just like a martial arts master.

But when I looked up, the room was empty.

I really wanted someone to look at me there, and I could ask him with a smile "Am I good?"

He also laughed and teased me, saying that he had never seen such a nimble lawyer.

Then we happily start this day, or every day after that.

I really want to agree to him.

But I am selfish and unfair to him.

As I said, I am a person with many holes. My miserable childhood has made me stubborn and lonely. My troubled family of origin has made me anxious and sad all day long. I can't invest in a relationship with these things.

This is not fair to my partner.

Xiao Sun is a native of Chengdu. His parents are both literary and artistic workers. They are polite and I have a deep impression of them after only meeting them once. His family is very similar to mine. They also have "sons and daughters". Xiao Sun has a sister.

Their parents are still willing to give birth to a daughter after giving birth to a son in the first pregnancy. This is a fantasy in my opinion.

Besides, I have seen that girl. She has been spoiled by her parents and brother since she was a child. The self-confidence that can't be suppressed sprays out, making her invincible.

But what am I?

I am a monster.

"I can't agree." I said in a deep voice. When I said this, I felt like I was cut by an invisible knife.

"Why?" Xiao Sun said anxiously, "Sister Zhang, am I a little abrupt? If you need time to think about it, I can wait..."

"We are all adults. We don't play the game of children. We don't need time to think about this kind of thing." I shook my head, "No means no, sorry."

Seeing Xiao Sun's lost expression, I felt that the invisible knife pierced my body again.

It hurts.

"Okay... okay..." Xiao Sun nodded with a lost look, "Sister Zhang, don't apologize to me, I should apologize, I'm really sorry..."

"No." I said to him with a smile, "It's a good thing to dare to express yourself, Xiao Sun, you are a very good person, I rejected you because of my own problems, I hope you don't feel sad."

"Well..." Although Xiao Sun nodded, I could see from his eyes that he was extremely sad.

After attending Meng Meng's wedding, I gave her a half-month vacation.

Although she wanted to come back to work, a honeymoon is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I would rather she take a paid vacation than spend this precious time on work.

A week passed quickly. Xiao Sun and I handled a commercial dispute case together. However, this time, due to insufficient evidence provided by both parties, no verdict was made and a second hearing will be held soon.

"Xiao Sun, please help me keep an eye on the next two days." I said, "I have to go home."

"Go home?" He raised his eyebrows, "Sister Zhang, you look sad every time you receive a call from home. Did something happen at home?"

"No, it's good." I said with a smile, "My brother is getting married."

"Brother...?" Xiao Sun was obviously surprised, "Sister Zhang, you have a younger brother?"

"Yes."

"You are really patient. I have never heard you say that you have a younger brother."

"Not mentioning doesn't mean I don't have one." I breathed a sigh of relief, "I haven't been home for many years. This is the last time. I have to show up no matter what."

"The last time...?" Xiao Sun obviously didn't understand. "Is there a last time to see my biological brother?"

"Yes." I was obviously a little happy. "Anyway, I will be back soon. One day at the earliest and two days at the most. I'll leave the things in the institute to you in the next two days."

"Don't worry, Sister Zhang, it's okay." Xiao Sun nodded. "But... don't you need me to take you back? You drive back?"

"No." I said, "There's no need to be so ostentatious. I'll just take the car back."

"Okay, then you have to be careful and send me a WeChat message when you get there."

"No problem. "I nodded and said to him, "If there is something going on at home, you can go first. There shouldn't be any lawsuits recently except for that business dispute."

"My home is in Chengdu!" Xiao Sun said to me with a smile, "Don't worry, I will definitely stick to my post."

Looking at Xiao Sun's state, I feel very happy.

He didn't alienate me because I rejected him.

As long as I can work with someone familiar, I feel confident.

He will definitely find a better partner, but that person must not be me.

Why don't I want to sever ties with that mountain village forever?

When I was 23 years old, I unilaterally cut off all contact with my family. I changed my address, changed my phone number, and found a new job. I thought I could start a new life, but they called the police.

They claimed that they were worried that their daughter was deceived in the city and asked the police to go and find her. But their acting skills were so good that the police believed me and believed that I was a person who was dazzled by the colorful temptations in the city.

Yes, parents are worried about their daughter who has lost contact... …What a normal reason?

They knew my address, company, and phone number. The next day, they came to my company and made a scene. They cried and shouted, portraying me as a person who was ungrateful, disloyal, and unfilial. They made up lies in front of all my colleagues. I was in the rising period of my career, but I was ruined overnight and had to leave the promising company without any excuse.

But who would listen to my explanation? At that time, I was paid 2,200 yuan a month, and 1,800 yuan was sent home. I had to support my family of three by myself.

If I disappeared, they would call the police. The police have received higher education, and they are willing to believe that "blood is thicker than water", "mother and daughter have no overnight hatred", and "biological mothers will not harm their daughters". I understand them.

But it is difficult for them to understand me, after all, they have not experienced my life.

That incident made me realize that this family relationship can never be severed. If I dare not show up when my husband gets married, I will be charged with another crime, and all the achievements I have accumulated so far may be threatened.

I bought a bus ticket, put on casual clothes and set off.

I couldn't let the villagers know how well I was doing in Chengdu, otherwise they would become a bottomless pit hovering over my life and suck all the blood out of me.

The bus, ordinary clothes, and a just right light makeup were enough for my trip.

I am just an ordinary person. I don't have extra money to help them, nor do I have the ability to arrange jobs for any idle people in the city. I am just me, an ordinary person.

The car left Chengdu and circled the mountain road for more than two hours before finally taking me to a place ten kilometers away from the village.

Next, I need to take a black car and then transfer to a three-wheeled vehicle.

I set off in the morning and didn't enter the village until the evening.

The village is indeed preparing for a wedding. The roads are full of tables and the poles are covered with red paper. The wedding will begin tomorrow.

"Laidi?!" An aunt suddenly recognized me.

"Yes." I nodded and looked at her, "I'm back."

"Tsk..." She pouted with a little contempt, and then squeezed out an ugly smile, "How many years have you not been back? Is the city so good?"

"No." I shook my head, "But Chengcai is getting married, and I am the elder sister, so I must come back."

"Really?" She nodded with a fake smile, "Then you should go home quickly."

I nodded at her, took a long breath and walked towards "home".

Since the first day of entering high school, I have not lived at home.

When I was in school, I lived in the school, and worked outside on weekends and winter and summer vacations. This place is very unfamiliar to me.

The atmosphere of the villagers also made me more stressed. They are like the best intelligence agents in the world. Every word you say at home will spread throughout the village the next day.

Especially me.

A stubborn woman who doesn't want to earn tuition for her brother and insists on going to school herself.

A dissolute woman who fell in love with the "bright lights and wine" of the city and doesn't want to go home to see the world.

A miserable woman who is over 30 years old and still hasn't married and no one is willing to take her in.

A stingy woman who doesn't care about her brother's marriage, doesn't pay the bride price or the down payment for the house.

A failed woman who has worked hard for more than ten years but still hasn't "returned home in glory".

This is how the villagers see me. I am a famous joke in the village.

My existence is a classic topic that every household will discuss and never lose.