The First Chaos In History

Have been here for more than 10 months. Others are one or two days later than him, and some are a month or so later, but most of Yucai’s clients have basically passed their lives for more than one and a half days.

Therefore, I have discussed with many people about how to spend this year, and the unanimous conclusion is: how to live and how to spend, even Yan Jingsheng, who has always been low-key, thinks so. What he said inadvertently impressed me deeply. He said it was. The group of people spent the first year here, but it was the last year of their lives, so it must be grand.

Early in the morning, I brought Baozi and Li Shishi Liu Bang to Yucai. Red lanterns were hung everywhere on the campus, Spring Festival couplets were posted, and the children had firecrackers in their pockets, rushing to chase and play, no matter how great they might be in the future, But after all, they are still children, and the oldest is only 14 or 15 years old. Besides local students, most of them are from poor families, and most of them cannot go home for the New Year, but this is the first time they have new clothes. Wearing a New Year with firecrackers.

Xu Delong led a team of soldiers on patrols on the campus, mainly because they were afraid of causing a fire. They are all here today. Some of the soldiers who have already made great achievements donated all their property to Yucai. Strictly speaking, they are considered shareholders of the school.

Duan Tianlang wanted to take Cheng Fengshou back to their hometown for the New Year, but in the end they decided to stay. Cheng Fengshou wanted to accompany the hundreds of children who came with him. Duan Tianlang and Duan Tianbao discussed it and went back to their hometown anyway. There are no relatives, it is better to have an atmosphere in the school. Not to mention Yuan that. Carrying forward the glorious China of marrying chickens, dogs, dogs, and dogs, she has already regarded Yucai as her own family. This new year, she plans to take her parents over to meet Fang Zhenjiang’s parents. I really didn’t expect our tiger fight heroes. In the end, I can’t avoid this step. I think it’s funny to think of the hero Wu Song carrying a few bottles of wine to visit the old man in a low voice. In Wu Sangui’s words, sad, sad...

But it is said that the old man is also obsessed with martial arts, and Fang Zhenjiang is very lucky. Unlike me, who is not good at maths, I still have an old accountant. Our second brother next door is even more hungry. When he first fell in love with his second wife, he was crazy about Shanghai Shenhua. As a result, his father-in-law was a dead fan of Bayi, and the second sister-in-law in the domestic league was so nervous to death. The two almost failed because of this, and neither of them watched football for the past two years. The old man changed to listening to Peking opera, and the second brother became crazy about opera again. He had to listen to it at least twice a week, and he had to bring his second sister-in-law. I thought it was harmonious, but within half a year, my second wife had a heart attack.

The teachers who are in the local area. Including the four heavenly kings and Fang La. They all said it was good to celebrate the New Year at school. Such a big school, so many employees. At first, I was still worrying about how to tell who should not tell who should divide the pile. Then I suddenly discovered that it is extremely difficult to pick customers from ordinary people or pick ordinary people from customers. Fortunately, For those who don't go home on this big night, except that the customers are people who know them well, I don't have to worry about it anymore, but generally speaking, the nature of this dinner party is also defined as the internal gathering of our customers.

Then there is the meeting place. If the place is small, it is definitely not good. If it is in the cafeteria, it is too unattractive, because we have a cultural performance besides eating. The auditorium was too serious. In the end, Genghis Khan suggested that it’s better to have a bonfire party on the grass. This idea aroused everyone’s interest when he put it forward. Many people immediately started arranging grills and firewood, so I took the place. Set on the lawn of the old campus, a 10-meter square stage was set up in front of it. I prepared sheep from fellow villagers, and carts and carts of wine were drawn from Duxing’s workshop. Song Qing and Xiao were helping out. Six of them.

New Year is the most important holiday for Chinese people. The blessing text messages on their heads are flying around everyone’s mobile phones like flies without their heads. I am especially busy. Except for the employees of Yucai and some customers, such as Tiger, Erpang, Many friends of all kinds, including Jiang Menshen, also sent a lot.

Many people sent gifts, and Chen Kejiao sent eternally... vases, this girl seems to love giving vases to others. Gu Ye sealed a big red envelope to each of the staff of Yucai. This is just a face-saving effort. In fact, he also prepared generous gifts for my customers. Since the old man learned the inside story, he often came to Yucai to hang out. Although the old man is full of style in front of ordinary people, but his thinking is still more traditional, he always feels that he is a junior in front of these people, and it is a bit of a slap in the face.

Jin Shaoyan is even more straightforward. Whether it is an employee or a student, there is one person in the educator, and the tickets are all real guns and live ammunition!

As for the children’s candies and firecrackers, this is what Baozi thought of. After all, I can’t spend money with the prodigal kid and the old Guby. There is only so much I can do, but the children seem to be interested in these things. Now the children are especially fond of buns, and they kindly call her Mrs. Bao. Liu Bang keeps saying that buns are better than his grandson Liu Bei, who is not known for many generations, in terms of inviting people to buy. In fact, this is not an invitation to buy people. The whole is a shadow of childhood. When Baozi was a child, as soon as the Chinese New Year came, he admired those little boys who had firecrackers, and the old accountant refused to buy them. When she made her own money, she bought a lot of cannons every year, even this time I gave them She gave away a lot of what the children bought...

After 7 o’clock in the evening, people began to gather slowly. After half an hour, dozens of grills were filled with people. The heroes, the 300-character paintings and the doctors arrived, and that Several emperors, Li Shimin, and they pretended that Zhu Yuanzhang was the youngest, so they squeezed him out early to occupy the grill closest to the stage.

There were a few tables under the stage for me and Yan Jingsheng to sit down. I saw that the lamb and wine were in place and the time was right, so I signaled that the host show could start tonight.

Xiuxiu stared at the bottom and asked me in a low voice, "What should I say about my name?"

I followed her gaze. It turned out that it was Cheng Fengshou and Duan Sirius who were here, as well as Xiaoliuzi and a group of ruffian chefs. This is different from a meeting. In a meeting, I can find an excuse to spend these non-client expenses. , You can't make sense without others. Besides, these people didn't participate in the meetings that shouldn't be attended. They all went together last time, so what else can I say?

I said to Xiuxiu, "It's okay, how can I say it."

Xiuxiu pulled on another host and went to the stage. Mao then looked ahead, full of energy, and said loudly: "My friends, on this Spring Festival, the vast number of colleagues in the training of talents will gather together..." Xiuxiu seemed a little nervous.

Wen: "LNDGENTEMAN, S-ME...e+ We do not plan to broadcast this show on CCTV 4 for the time being."

Xiuxiu blushed, but also relaxed a lot. At this time, Mao Sui had already said, "Among us, there are..." Xiuxiu hurriedly pulled him. Mao Sui understood and hurriedly turned and said: "Next, I will ask President Xiao to speak to you." Yan Jingsheng next to me said with a rare brazen smile: "You call him Xiaoqiang, what is the name of President Xiao?"

I stood up with a sad face and said, "Why are you talking again? Isn't it okay if you don't talk?"

Everyone laughed: "Say a few words, say a few words."

I said, "What can I say to you to feel happy? Most of you here don't expect a salary increase, and don't want to evaluate your job title. Besides. You are richer than me. Several titles have ended... Anyway, today is a good day—Is there anyone who doesn’t know the Chinese New Year?"

Everyone laughed: "No."

I sat down and said, "That's OK, then celebrate the New Year." I wanted Yan Jingsheng to say a few words. As a result, this kid was dragged by Xu Delong and the others to eat roast leg of lamb. I touched left and right again, and saw the buns and they were sitting in the nearest crowd drinking and eating meat, they looked back at me, hehe smirked. I kicked the table and said angrily: "It's someone the fuck's idea, and I left Lao Tzu up alone." I turned around and said flatly to Li Shimin and the others, "Your Majesty, how about you? Sit here? This is the leadership seat."

Li Shimin smiled and said, "If you don't go, you won't be able to burn it."

I don't care about the fact that I squeeze in between them, and said: "Then I will also become a part of the crowd."

The four emperors said in unison: "Who are the masses?"

I hurriedly changed my words: "I am and I am, I am mingling with your majesty."

On stage, Mao Sui said: "Xiaoqiang's speech is really concise, eh, Xiuxiu, I ask you, do you know the origin of the Spring Festival?"

Xiuxiu: "Then tell everyone..."

Zhang Qing yelled below: "Don't fix the TV set. If there is a show, hurry up."

Mao Sui glared at him, and then said: "Then please come to the first show: the chorus, "The Song of the Heroes", the performers, the heroes of Liangshan."

The guys who have just roasted the meat wonder: "Ah, why are we the first one?"

Zhang Qing sighed and said, "Blame me, Mao Sui, this kid avenges private revenge."

The good guys can only put down their wine and meat and come on stage. I have already informed about this art performance. The show is indeed scheduled in advance, and I declare that it is best to perform in reverse, and those who are capable of martial arts can't simply fight with punches. Those who know how to write are not allowed to play double-handwritten seal characters to fool the audience. The heroes perform a chorus, which is barely a violation of the rules.

In this regard, Hua Rong and Fang Zhenjiang were naturally standing in the queue. Yuan looked at them inexplicably and said: "When did they become Liangshan heroes?"

Kunping exclaimed, "Family come up too, hurry up."

Xiuxiu consciously stood beside Huarong, Yuan had to go up too dazedly, Baojin took a deep look at Baoyin, patted him on the shoulder and said, "Yinzi, you go too."

Baoyin wondered: "You should go, I am not one of them."

The good guys all called: "Come up, your brother is not in the same group with us."

Baoyin has a rough and arrogant personality, so he stood on the edge of the Fang Zhenjiang River without much thought. Lu Junyi stood in the forefront of the command and waved his hand: "Prepare-Qi!"

The heroes broke the gong and said, "Wow, the river flows eastward--"

Everyone underneath is absolutely crushed, it's too ugly!

Cheng Fengshou and Duan Tianlang sat together, and Cheng Fengshou muttered, "Why don't I know when they will schedule the show?"

Duan Tianlang said blankly: "As long as we don't let us act."

These few words happened to be heard by Mao Sui. When the heroes finished howling, Mao Sui immediately jumped onto the stage and said: "Next, we will invite our two martial arts stars, Teacher Cheng and Teacher Duan, to perform performances. Say it in advance. Don't allow it. Perform martial arts."

Duan Sirius suddenly became awkward: "I can't do anything."

Everyone called: "That won't work, we all have shows."

Cheng Fengshou smiled and said, "Do you know how to sing? Let's sing together."

Duan Tianlang scratched his head and said: "Only old songs."

"Then sing Everest."

Duan Sirius hesitated: "Is this too high?"

Cheng Fengshou said confidently: "It's okay, we just breathe out in practice, and can't even sing a song?"

Duan Tianlang nodded: "That's good."

As a result, the two of them were nervous and didn’t know what to say as soon as they came to the stage. If you ask them to go to the ring and take them down, then naturally there is nothing to say. But when they were pushed onto the stage, they couldn’t help but show their timidity. Proceed. Blushing, like two elementary school students, Xiuxiu finally raised their heads for them: "Who brought it, the call of the ancients. Ready to sing—"

So the two of them sang along, the first few sentences were okay, and then it was obvious that there was an out-of-tune, and I don't know whether it was Cheng Fengshou or Duan Sirius-maybe they both ran away. A few sentences before the **, the emotions of the two of them were obviously mobilized, their faces flushed and their heads raised, and their voices gradually became higher. As a result, when the phrase "Qomolangma" was reached, the green veins on the necks of the two moved, but they didn't make a sound, like two silent range hoods. These two you look at me and I look at you. It looks like they are waiting for the other side to save the field. The two were hanging out on the stage for a while, then went down together blushing. Duan Sirius knew that he was ashamed, and complained: "I rap "A Little White Poplar", you must sing such a high ground."

Then I didn’t have to force it. Xiaoliu took the cooking chefs up and sang a popular song. Naturally, the gangsters would sing without covering up. The place where they can’t sing is howling hard, which is called a heartbreaking. , Even Baozi, who doesn't feel much about the noise, said that he would save 50 sheep if he sang like this.

At this time, Mao Sui rushed to the stage excitedly, glanced at his watch and said loudly: "Now this time is the time when the Spring Festival Gala begins, let's have some wonderful programs, too."

I approached Yan Jingsheng and asked in a low voice: "You didn't ask for a striptease, did you?"

Yan Jingsheng: "..."

The good guys suddenly became unhappy, and shouted: "Co-author, was that trash time just now?"

Mao then stepped aside, and Xiuxiu reported: "Please enjoy the skit "Selling Crutches", the performer

, Li Shishi, Liu Bang. "

There was thunderous applause from below. Ersha and Shishi Li walked up to the stage and sat on a bench. Liu Bang rode a broken bicycle swaying past the two of them. Those who had seen this sketch were suddenly stunned, and they were all waiting to see Liu Bang. As for the fool, I didn’t expect Er Sha to play the role of the big fool. Er Sha sat on a chair with a smile on his face. Liu Bang almost rode to the bottom of the stage. Er Sha did not speak. Liu Bang supported the ground with his feet and his nose. It's not a nose or a face, and said: "Hey, it's time for you to say the words!"

Ersha suddenly pointed to Liu Bang and said, "He has a big head and a thick neck. It's not the emperor who will help you."

Li Shimin snorted and looked at the other three emperors who were groaning. Here, he was the only one from a serious nobleman. Those who weren't emperors were indeed in the column of "comen". Coincidentally, these three are really in line with the big head and thick neck...

The people below had already lost their laughter. Li Shishi was also taken by Ersha to forget his words. He squatted on his shoulder and laughed. Liu Bang got out of the car and shouted to the following: "Let me play a big flick, do you think Woolen cloth?"

The audience said in unison: "No, this is called anti-clustering."

To be honest, I have never watched them rehearse this program. Even if he was silly, he might not be able to recite the lines completely. Besides, he was still a big fool. After finishing the next step, people laughed forward and backward. After Liu Bang said several words, he was confused and turned back. He was so angry that his nose and eyes were crooked. Finally, he turned to his arm and rode his bicycle down. Everyone shouted, "Take the car. Leave!"

Er silly: "What kind of bicycle do you want?"

Liu Bang said angrily: "You are right about this line."

...

Then there is 300 street dance. Actually, it beautifies the general martial arts movements. However, the scene of Thomas's full spin with 300 is still very shocking. It can be taken to the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Baozi also saw his head as he wished. Supported on the ground in a circle of grand occasions.

When the show was over, I suddenly received a call saying that Emperor Qin Shihuang, who was excavating in Xianyang, wanted to give us a video New Year's greetings. Shishi Li hurriedly put the wireless Internet site in front, and after a while, he connected to Qin Shihuang's video. Behind him is a large conference hall. The people around him are still in a hurry. Qin Shihuang's side never forgot to call him "Yinggong" respectfully. We were eager to hope that the fat man would come over for the New Year, but Qinling No. 2 project was progressing to the most critical time, and Qin Shihuang never came back.

Everyone shouted in a mess: "Brother Ying has a good New Year" and "His Majesty First Emperor is happy in the new year." Several emperors stood up, and Qin Shihuang poked his neck to look at the roast leg of lamb in our hand, and asked, "Eat Sa (what) pinch?"

I raised the leg of lamb in my hand: "Who told you not to come back?" At this moment, I saw a life-size Ma Qing with a "P" cap on the huge screen behind Qin Shihuang and everyone else was busy. , Fatty uses the video wall to play games. I said, "Brother Ying. You can't be passive." Okay, that bullet is as big as a football, which is enjoyable.

Qin Shihuang glanced back and said, "Oh. Every day I do (playing) half a little silk (hour), crooked (that) everyone is pretty good?"

Baozi Liu Bang and Li Shishi both came over to greet him. An engineer wearing a helmet walked up to Qin Shihuang and said, "Yinggong. The third wall has been exposed."

Qin Shihuang glanced at us and said, "Okay. It's fine. I'll be hungry (I) in a few days and I will get back (go)."

In the chaos, Fatty didn't realize that Xiang Yu was not in front of us. I haven't told him about this yet.

At this time, it was just when the bonfire was flourishing and the wine and meat were fragrant. Everyone was enthusiastic, and Mao Sui had been grabbed by the heroes, and Xiuxiu would come to the stage again, if it hadn’t been for Xiuxiu to help him, it would have been long ago. Gu Lu ran away, and Mao Sui held a leg of lamb in one hand and a microphone in the other. He put the leg of lamb on his mouth and said, "Now, please enjoy the Yaoqin solo, "Friends", performed by Yu Boya." When walking down the stage, I nibble on the microphone of the other hand...

Everyone laughed and wondered: Didn’t you let Yu Boya still play the piano?

The piano table was already set up on the stage, and there was a microphone inserted next to the piano. I saw Yu Boya stepping up to salute everyone, and then sitting in front of the piano. The familiar rhythm sounded, and Yu Boya suddenly leaned in front of the microphone and shouted: "Friend, friend, have you ever thought of me, if you are enjoying happiness, please forget me..."

This is absolutely anti-serial! The instrumentalists started vocal music, and it became popular, which is no different from Chopin’s singing "Mouse Loves Rice".

After Yu Boya sang a song and wanted to continue, Li Bai stood up and said, "Lao Yu, let us play your "High Mountain and Flowing Water" back then." Yan Zhenqing, Liu Gongquan and the others immediately responded. Once Zhong Ziqi died, the song was finished. Supremacy, who of these art lovers don't want to take this opportunity to listen to it?

Yu Boya apologized and said: "It's hard to find a friend, I have vowed not to replay this song again."

Li Bai said, "How do you know that there is no friend of yours among the people present?" A group of people strongly agreed again.

Yu Boya thought for a while, then sat down and said, "Then I will make an exception today." He put his hand on the piano before he waited for it to play, and the strings broke several times. Do you have so many soulmates?"

It can't be so much-it's weird that Yaoqin keeps stringing after playing "Friend".

This time, I have already gnawed half of the microphone out of the wire, and said: "There are so many hamstrings—"

Xiuxiu had to come on stage alone and said, "You may have seen the next show, but I still want to introduce these two actors, Guan Yu and Zhou Cang!"

Who would dare not to favor Erye's field? Suddenly there was applause. Erye and Zhou Cang walked onto the stage. They didn't say much. Erye left Zhou Cang on the right. Erye said: "Crosstalk is about talking, learning, and singing."

Zhou Cang: "Huh."

Second master: "It's not easy to say."

Zhou Cang: "Oh?"

...... The two people ran to say that the cross talk is coming! When the second master said, "What is his temperament, what dynasty?" Everyone was overjoyed: "Guan Gong vs. Qin Qiong"! The second master didn't know how he heard this passage.

The second master and the others went down, Xiuxiu came to the stage with a smile, and said to the audience: "The actor who performed this show said, I would like to take this paragraph

Qin Qiong and Qin Shubao, who have never met, pay tribute, and hope to really learn if he has the opportunity. "

Li Shimin hurriedly stood up and nodded to Guan Yu, expressing his appreciation.

Xiuxiu continued to report: "Next, please listen to the four-person chorus "I Really Want to Live Another Five Hundred Years". Performers: Li Shimin, Zhao Kuangyin, Temujin, Zhu Yuanzhang."

Everyone: "Uh..." Isn't this a mess, does Li Shimin still have Zhao Kuangyin to live another five hundred years?

The following shows are quite different, but everyone is not for watching the show. This is actually a gathering of friends. Everyone laughs and persuades a drink. Bun is too excited. If she doesn't pay attention, she puts everyone around her down. On my shoulder, he said: "It would be great if I could do this every day in the future."

The show starts at the same time. There are also many hotlines and faxes coming in. In addition to the gratitude of the parents of students from all over the country, first of all, the tiger wishes his master Dong Ping and all his uncles and uncles a happy new year; Liu Xia and his seat are red, yellow and green. All heroes of Yucai are recruiting wealth and treasure; Marshal Yue Fei called 300 army troops: I hope you will have a happy and fulfilling life, and don't forget to urge your children to study. In order to lay the foundation for the sustainable development of Yucai in the future, Qin Hui has performed well after his "post job". Shanghai Jingwu Hall, Heilongjiang Weilong Taekwondo Hall, Hebei Xingyiquan Research Society...These calls and letters are broadcast by Xiuxiu every time. Later, we also set up several people on the spot to take charge of the hotline. All the places with "6" in the mantissa are our lucky parents, and they can get a picture of the zodiac drawn by Wu Daozi and others.

The most brilliant show in the back was really performed by these elders, and the name was "Ma Liang, the Magic Pen." First, Yan Liben, Zhang Zeduan and Wu Daozi collaborated on a painting. The man in the painting has a vicious face and holds two large axes. It was Li Kui, a hero of Liangshan, the black whirlwind, and Wang Xizhi, who wrote the inscriptions separately. The paintings and characters are certainly beautiful and handsome, but many people below are not good at it (such as me), and after a while, they don’t have much interest. Suddenly those characters turned into butterflies and flew away, followed by Li Kui's voice. After drinking and breaking out of the paper, we were shocked. After a while, Duan Jingzhu applauded desperately. Duan Jingzhu was afraid that they would really draw a picture of Li Kui, and then carefully looked at the place where Li Kui was sitting. At a glance, the black guy did not know when he ran away to guest appearances. The worded butterfly, in fact, was just the shredded paper head floating away. This is all you need to do is to engrave the paper on the paper beforehand. What is rare is the last one. David Copperfield is not bad, and in the end I don't know how they got the land.

There was also a horrible person: Su Wu made an exception today, drunk drunk, holding his stick in his hand and jumping back and forth between the various bonfires, muttering: "Don’t throw the sheepskin, if this is a year of famine. That little thing can be useful..."

Later, Liu Bangdi's little concubine Fengfeng also came and went on stage to sing "Who Says Women Are Not as Good as Men". Although the singing is average, everyone still slapped their lives for the purpose of holding the flowers of Mulan. Hua Mulan said embarrassedly: " It's just a little thing, and it's made up as a song?"

When the clock struck 12, Yucaili suddenly made a loud cannon, and it reflected half of the world. Everyone no matter whether they are familiar with each other or whether they are customers or not, they all blessed each other and said auspicious words. After a long time of lively Gradually restored order, and then continued to perform. The performances on the program list of this club have already been performed. The performances of the people who went up later were punitive. For example, they lost the guessing game, they were found drunk and raped, and the night was still long. I had to get a few people up for everyone to have fun. In the end, I was unlucky when I was arrested and the young man was going to perform. He reasoned to think about it. When Fang La sang a song before letting him go, Shiqian didn’t rush to come. On the stage, put down a big bag, pointed to the bag and said: "You all have your wallet in my bag. If you want me to go down, you can pay it back. If you don’t let me perform the show, you won’t be able to return it. ."

Everyone was surprised at this, and they put their hands in their pockets and scolded Shi Qian, but in just 10 minutes they even took out hundreds of pockets-this is also a repertoire of tonight.

There is something about Coke. After a while, Hua Tuo was arrested. The old man learned from Shiqian's chest and told us, "It’s fine if you let me go down. Otherwise, I’ll be there for you. There is a laxative in the meat—"

Although they knew that he was mostly joking, people still let him go-the risk was really unaffordable.

Wang Yin stood up suddenly and said loudly: "Everyone found out that the person who should perform the show tonight hasn't been on stage yet."

I shook my hand vigorously, "I have already spoken--"

Wang Yin said, "Sit down, not talking about you."

I sat down angrily and asked the bun beside me: "Then who does he say?"

Master Li laughed and said: "Cousin is really stupid, that person is far away in the sky and is in front of you."

Everyone looked at me and laughed, and at the same time they looked at the steamed bun. The steamed bun was in my arms, and they raised their heads and asked me, "Who is it?"

At this moment everyone suddenly shouted together: "Bun, come one!"

Baozi sat up abruptly: "I can't sing or dance~www.wuxiaspot.com~What do you want me to perform?"

Everyone: "Then we don't care, do you have to mean something?"

The bun had to stand up, thinking for a long time, and then he said: "Then I will show you a thousand cups without getting drunk."

When everyone heard the name, everyone immediately asked: "How to act?"

Baozi said, "It's very simple. It's just drinking. Although I can't really drink a thousand glasses without getting drunk, don't you believe it or not?" She pointed to a round-bellied altar on the ground. This jar can hold at least 20 kilograms of wine, and this is a craft brew, which is much higher than the juniper in the market. Everyone sees that the bun is already drunk to the bottom. No one believes that she can drink into this jar again. Anxiously said: "Can you do it? This is not a triumphant thing."

The steamed bun filled a bowl of wine and drank it dry. Everyone applauded. The steamed bun poured another bowl and had just two sips. Suddenly he threw the bowl away and staggered on the spot, apologizing: "Sorry everyone, I... The acting was broken." Then he fell into my arms and fell asleep with a plop.

Everyone: "..."