The Gold is Yours, You Are Mine

In order to be able to return to the game, Xie Shi'an even worked harder than before, taking medicine desperately, eating desperately, and recovering desperately. After losing Jian Changnian, now only badminton is left in her life Supporting her to go on.

After the new year, she managed to throw away her crutches and stood up again. The All England Open was about to start. She wanted to sign up for it. After the doctor checked her, she threw a bucket of water on her head again. cold water.

"Your artificial knee has just passed the rejection period and has not fully healed. Playing games now is equivalent to wasting all previous efforts."

Xie Shi'an sat here, his expression suddenly darkened.

Wan Jing comforted: "Wait a little longer, there will be competitions later, and there will be time to start after the baby is fully healed."

It took another month.

The Asian Championships are about to begin.

Before the competition, Xie Shi’an was found to have failed the drug test. Even though she had filed a complaint with the IBF because of taking anti-rejection drugs, the IBF still rejected her application to participate in the Asian Championships.

She had no choice but to stop taking the medicine and dare not eat anything. While only consuming a small amount of vegetables and meat every day, she had to maintain high-intensity rehabilitation.

Ever since the operation, every time it was rainy, she felt pain in the joints of her bones. Sometimes she was in excruciating pain, rolling on the bed, her eyes were red, her teeth were gritted, and she kept silent until the pain passed. Clothes were soaked with sweat.

In this way, I made it to the Singapore Masters again, which was the last big training session before the World Championships.

There were no major problems in her physical examination and drug test, but she fell only on the level of psychological evaluation.

Looking at the large characters of moderate depression written in black and white on the form in front of him, Xie Shi'an was like a bolt from the blue.

The doctor looked at her face and considered his words: "It's like this. Sometimes a major operation brings not only physical changes to the patient, but also some psychological problems. We still suggest you Rest for a while."

Xie Shi'an's hand holding the paper was shaking, he stood up suddenly, and grabbed his sleeve with red eyes: "This is impossible! Impossible! Test me again, test me again!"

"This... This is all based on scientific evidence. You can draw conclusions based on your various indicators. No matter how many times you do it, the result will still be the same!" The doctor looked embarrassed.

"I don't care! I want to participate in the competition. I suffered from depression before, but...but I'm already cured, doctor, doctor, please, give me another test."

"Oh, I really can't help it, don't pull me..."

Wan Jing heard that the voice inside was wrong, rushed in, and pulled out Xie Shi'an who was about to lose control.

"Shi'an, Shi'an, calm down! If you can't win the Masters and the World Championships, take a good rest, there is still hope!"

Xie Shi'an sat on a bench in the hospital corridor, raised his head and smiled at him, tears fell.

It was the first time she had cried in days.

"Coach Wan, am I...can't play anymore?"

Wan Jing couldn't answer her this question.

After he went back, he smoked cigarettes in the office all night, and organized a meeting with all members of the coaching staff the next day.

"This World Championships, let Shi'an go."

"What? I heard it right. With her body, she is thankful for being able to survive a round." Someone questioned.

There were also objections.

"I don't agree. Each team in the World Championships has a limited number of places. If she goes up, someone will have to replace her. Other countries choose elite soldiers to compete in the competition. We are fine. Xie Shi'an used to be strong, but now Times are different.”

As soon as these words came out, someone immediately echoed them.

"That's right, I think Jian Changnian is in pretty good shape now, and she can completely cover her blank."

"Also, didn't she fail the psychological assessment yesterday? How can you play like this? If something goes wrong on the field, who is responsible? This is also for her own good."

Wan Jing frowned and put out the cigarette in the ashtray.

"I understand what you're saying, but don't forget, who single-handedly provoked the entire national team back then, and why did she become what it is today."

"She was injured so badly last year, and she was still fighting for national honor in the most difficult time. She didn't give up, and we shouldn't give up on her. Give her another chance, let's try."

People's hearts are always fleshy. Wan Jing said it sincerely, and everyone in the room fell into silence.

After a while, no one said anything.

"But competitive sports are competitive sports. We gave her a place to compete, which is unfair to other players."

"Anyway, there are internal competitions before the World Championships, so let's follow the rules of the national team and select the best. In this way, there is no problem, right?"

Participating in the internal test, this is already the best result Wan Jing can get for her.

Of course, I didn't tell the other team members about this in advance, so when Jian Changnian bumped into her in the corridor outside the gymnasium, she was taken aback until Xie Shi'an walked past her expressionlessly.

She suddenly came back to her senses, chased after her and grabbed her wrist: "What are you doing here?!"

Xie Shi'an was carrying a golf bag, and asked in a calm tone.

"I haven't been expelled from the national team yet, why can't I come back."

Today is the day of the team quiz.

"come here!"

Jian Changnian looked around, pulled him into a secluded dressing room, and closed the door with a bang.

"Let me go!" Xie Shi'an shook her off, wanting to leave, but seeing her blocking the door again, she twitched the corner of her lips and sneered.

"What does it mean?"

Jian Changnian looked anxious like an ant on a hot pot, with red eye circles: "Don't tell me you are here to play a game, how long has it been since you finished the operation, can you stop torturing yourself like this?!"

Xie Shi'an just looked at her coldly.

"Do I have anything to do with you? I know my own body, so I don't need you to meddle in my own business."

"I—" Jian Changnian did not bring it up in one breath, and blurted out: "I am your junior sister, your partner, your friend, and the person who cares about you the most besides Coach Yan!"

"If you really care about me and do what's best for me, then leave me alone! I want to play, I want to stand on the court, and I don't want to sit at home like a waste for a day, doing nothing!"

Xie Shi'an said every word, as if he was swearing.

"Even if I die, I will die on the field."

Jian Changnian burst into tears and roared.

"But Coach Yan, as long as you are safe, have you forgotten all the words he wrote to you when he was dying?!"

Xie Shi'an's eyes were also red, and both of them were like trapped animals, showing their fangs and claws towards the closest person.

"I didn't forget! Because I didn't forget, I can't just fall here. There is no athlete in the world who can reach the level of his peak after a few years of rest due to injuries. I want to win the Grand Slam , I don't have time!"

"How come you don't have time, why can't you return to the previous level of competition, even... Even Coach Yan said that you are a genius who is once in a century, as long as you take good care of yourself, after two or three years, it will be the same, let alone you Grand Slam, that is..."

Jian Changnian took a step forward and grabbed her shoulders. Before anyone could finish speaking, Xie Shi'an interrupted her coldly.

"Don't deceive yourself, we all know that we can't go back to the past, Jian Changnian, I have lost too many things, now only badminton is the whole meaning of my life."

"What about me, we have experienced so many things together, playing games together, playing together, making trouble together, I said, even if everyone leaves you, I will not, no matter what you become, whether you are at the peak or Low valley, my heart for you is still the same as before, Xie Shi'an, can't you take a look at me?!"

Jian Changnian once thought that after half a year of silence, she could bury her love in her heart and not disturb her, but seeing her standing here alive, with red eyes and trembling thin shoulders, she still couldn't help it , wanted to hold this heart in front of her, even if it was crushed and thrown into the mud.

The young man has nothing but this sincerity.

Xie Shi'an was not shaken when she was hugged into her arms and strangled into her bones. She was in too much pain, and it had been a long time since anyone gave her a warm hug.

She had countless nights of painful attacks, and she was dizzy and dizzy again and again, and she carried it through chanting her name.

Xie Shi'an closed her eyes, raised her hand, and just when her fingertips touched the clothes on her back, the door of the dressing room was opened.

"Chang Nian, the game is about to start, Wan..."

The teammates stared at this scene and froze in place.

Xie Shi'an pushed her away, like a scourge, fearing to avoid her, he left without even looking at her.

"Jian Changnian, I made my words very clear that day, don't make me hate you."

＊＊＊

In the past, internal tests like this were very easy for Xie Shi'an. She was always the first to finish, but today she was dragged to the end. After playing three rounds, she won by a narrow margin of two points. The last place in the World Championships.

While Wan Jing breathed a sigh of relief, he couldn't help but sweat for her. There are many strong opponents in the World Championships, and it will be even more difficult.

Lu Xiaoting was still applauding Xie Shi'an, but when she turned her head, Jian Changnian had already packed her things.

"What's the matter with you, sister An is not happy to be back?"

It can be seen that Xie Shi'an returned to the team, everyone is very happy, only she, the person who should be the most happy, is not happy.

Jian Changnian picked up her golf bag, turned around and left.

"No, I'm a little tired, I'll go back first."

Xie Shi'an took the corner of his eyes away from her back, and looked at the scoreboard in front of him.

The previous positions of the two were reversed, Jian Changnian ranked first, while her grades were at the bottom.

Xie Shi'an stared at her name for a long while, unable to tell what it was like, he was happy for her but at the same time a little bit unwilling, a little bit disappointed in the unwillingness, and also faintly jealous.

Mixed feelings.

Wan Jing patted her shoulder.

"It's good to be able to enter."

Xie Shi'an came back to his senses and nodded slightly.

"Well, then I'll go first."

"Okay, go back and have a good rest."

The moment she turned around, she pursed the corners of her lips tightly. Under the setting sun, the back of her departure looked a little lonely.

As early as the moment Xie Shi'an decided to participate in the World Championships, she had a premonition that this would be a process of breaking up and reorganizing herself. She needed to regain the lost confidence little by little during the competition, but unexpectedly, breaking up But he couldn't stand up again.

Before the match, the media who got the news that she will go to the World Championships made a lot of reports on it.

While affirming her competitive spirit of refusing to admit defeat even though she was injured, they placed her in a high position, as if it would be unforgivable if she did not win the championship, and at the same time, they used her and Jane Changnian overtly and secretly The lace news came out to talk about things.

Xie Shi'an only glanced at the headline of the newspaper, then threw it aside, when someone knocked on the door.

She said in a deep voice, "Please come in."

The leader came in and handed her a gift box.

"The thing sent by your support club is to celebrate your comeback to play, so I must hand it to you."

"It's not a valuable item, is it?"

"No, I asked, and it was just some letters."

Xie Shi'an has a habit over the years, whenever a fan sends a letter, he will take a look at it and keep it properly.

"Okay, then please say thank you to them."

"Hey, okay, open it up and have a look, you haven't played a game for a long time, the fans must miss you."

A slight smile appeared on the corners of Xie Shi'an's lips, and he opened the beautifully packaged gift box unpreparedly, then his eyes turned red, and he stood up abruptly and took the gift box over.

A dead mouse fell out of it.

The team leader was also shocked.

"How can this be? The people must not have gone far. I'll go find them!"

Xie Shi'an clenched his fists, his nails sank deep into his flesh, panting heavily, and it took him a long time to calm down.

"Don't go, you won't admit it when you go, take this thing out and throw it away."

"It's not clear that it's just bullying you to talk. Seeing that the game is about to start, is it just to mess with your mentality?! They obviously liked you so much before..."

When the team leader said this, his eyes turned red.

Xie Shi'an smiled bitterly.

"Go out and leave me alone."

In addition to sending her dead mice, there were also those who booed in the audience, pointed laser pointers at her, and pulled up banners to protest why she was still standing here to compete.

All kinds of fancy styles emerge in endlessly.

In addition, every day of the game is exhausting her body. She has never lost so badly, losing to Lu Xiaoting, losing to Natiya, losing to Anton, and losing to many people.

She has really worked hard, trying hard to kill the ball, hard to defend, hard to counterattack, but it seems that she can't find the trick, almost everyone who has won before, without exception, All lost.

It’s okay to lose, she fell down again and again and got up again and again. She felt that she didn’t regret her hard work, but it was a joke in the eyes of others. Netizens made her moments of saving the ball and mistakes she made Highlights, GIFs and emoticons.

Every day, every day is such a cycle, Xie Shi'an feels like a rusty machine on the assembly line, it breaks down a little every day, just waiting for the last straw to hit it, completely overwhelmed.

It's not that he has struggled and given up. Xie Shi'an put the knife on his wrist, and the moment he cut it off, he remembered what Coach Yan had said to her.

Let her become a twin star, let her win a grand slam, and make her healthy, happy and safe.

The blood-stained utility knife fell to the floor.

Xie Shi'an stumbled to his feet, rummaged through the room to find gauze, wrapped it around his wrist and cried.

When she appeared on the field the next day, she had an extra wristband on her left wrist.

Soon, the last straw came for her.

She has lost five games in a row so far. She is at the bottom of the points and is at stake. Although there is still one game to come, if she can't win today's game with Jin Nanzhi, then her hope of advancing to the second round will be completely shattered.

If he wins Jin Nanzhi, who is currently ranked first in the group, then depending on the relationship between victory and defeat, there is still a glimmer of life.

It's a pity that this is the way things are in this world. Even if you try your best, things often backfire. Xie Shi'an was in the peak period and even had a fight with Jin Nanzhi in the past, let alone now.

She really, really, really worked hard, but there was really nothing she could do. The illness greatly affected her physical strength, restricted her performance, and tormented her spirit.

As Jin Nanzhi won the first game, the South Korean team cheered even more, but the stands behind Xie Shi'an booed.

"Xie Shi'an, don't be ashamed, get out!"

"You won't get your place in the World Championships by bribing the leaders?"

"Strongly request the release of the internal audition video!"

"Gays get out of the badminton world!"

…

Amidst their "Come on", Xie Shi'an saved the ball again and again, fell down again and again, and finally fell hard, as if he sprained his foot, and didn't stand up again for a long time.

Jian Changnian stood on the sidelines, his eyes were red, and he was about to rush forward, but Lu Xiaoting dragged him to death.

"The media is watching. The whole world is broadcasting live. If you go up at this time, it will only embarrass her!"

"Then I can't just sit there-"

Jian Changnian's voice hadn't finished yet, but Xu Shi spoke a little louder, which attracted the attention of the media, a lot of spotlights were shot over, and the expressions on everyone's faces were a bit malicious.

Her face immediately became extremely ugly, as if she had swallowed a fly, her chest was heaving violently, her fists were clenched tightly, and her body was tense.

She knew that these people not only want to embarrass Xie Shi'an, but also embarrass her. If she loses her composure on the spot, she will only confirm the rumors of their relationship, and one mouthful of spittle is enough to drown Xie Shi'an.

It's funny, obviously falling in love is a matter between two people, but because Xie Shi'an is a star player, number one in the world, and a person who has created miracles in the badminton world, he has to bear more criticism.

Lu Xiaoting knew she was suffering.

"Come on, just shout it out."

Jian Changnian was taken aback, but Lu Xiaoting had already gathered her hands into a trumpet shape before she recovered her senses: "Sister An, come on!!"

The other players followed suit.

"Yes, let's cheer for Sister An, aren't they booing for Sister An, then compare whose voice is louder!"

"Sister An, get up! Don't give up!"

"You will always be number one in our hearts!"

"Sister An, you are our pride!"

"We trust you!"

…

In order to overwhelm the voices of those in the stands, the teammates shouted one by one, blushing and thick necks.

"Come here, give me a hand."

Wan Jing was short, so in order to let Xie Shi'an see him, he stepped on the chair in the rest area and played a loudspeaker.

Seeing this scene, Jian Changnian also burst into tears. One person rushed up to shout out of composure, and a group of people cheered for her. It would not be too abrupt for her to be caught in the middle.

At least for now, they are still teammates.

Jian Changnian snatched the horn from Wan Jing's hand, a tear rolled down the corner of his eye, and shouted hoarsely.

"Xie Shi'an, you must... Come on!"

Although their voices may be able to suppress those bad public opinions for a while, they can't change the direction of the whole game.

Although the commentators praised her as a genius, she was a **** who performed miracles in desperate situations many times.

But after all, she is just an ordinary person.

When it was 10:20.

Everyone knew there was no hope.

The voices in the stands also gradually died down.

Jin Nanzhi's serving hand paused slightly.

She couldn't bear it.

Xie Shi'an was already bruised all over her body, and the broken hair on her forehead was all wet with sweat. She was panting heavily, and looked a little hysterical.

"Come on, don't you want to beat me?! Don't you want to get rid of the title of cashier?! Don't you want to be the number one in the world?!"

"Jin Nanzhi, you must be afraid—"

She just finished speaking.

As soon as Jin Nanzhi gritted his teeth, he raised his hand and made a fast and hard serve. Xie Shi'an was not to be outdone, and jumped up high.

Her hair fluttered in the air.

The spotlight was on her.

As usual, she took off high and prepared to smash the ball, but she failed to perform miracles as usual.

Xie Shi'an watched the white meteor fly past until the scoreboard lit up, and the hope in his eyes dissipated in an instant.

There was a dead silence.

The ball falls out of bounds.

Jin Nanzhi won the game with a big score of 2:0.

The commentator was silent for a long time, and his eyes were red.

"In this case, Xie Shi'an's theoretical points can no longer surpass any player in the lower half, and she will miss the second round of knockout rounds. Tomorrow's match between her and Jian Changnian will be her best match in this World Championships." The last battle."

After the referee announced the result of the game.

Jin Nanzhi looked at her through the net, moved his lips, as if he wanted to take a step forward, Xie Shi'an took a step back, the racket in his hand fell to the ground, his eyes were red, and his face was a bit unwilling.

"I... didn't lose to you, but I lost to myself."

Jin Nanzhi looked at her back, as if he wanted to chase her, but Park Minxian rushed up and grabbed her.

"She is no longer the Xie Shi'an she used to be. Everyone yells and beats her like a mouse crossing the street. Why do you still get along with her? How did you get called a cashier, and how did they scold you? You know everything about it." Have you forgotten?!"

＊＊＊

Xie Shi'an came out from the athlete's tunnel.

The stadium was already full of people.

"Mom, I like her and want to get her autograph." A little girl took her mother's hand and wanted to get closer.

The parents dragged the child away.

"What kind of name do you sign? That's a homosexual!"

"Xie Shi'an, your skills are inferior to others, you should retire early!"

"You can lose to anyone, why lose to Jin Nanzhi!"

"You traitor!"

"go to hell!"

A few rotten eggs were thrown from the air.

Xie Shi'an didn't dodge, and closed his eyes subconsciously, but he didn't wait for the expected pain.

When she opened her eyes, Jian Changnian was still standing in front of her, and the teammates from the national team also came.

At this moment, she didn't cry during the operation, she didn't cry when she was tortured by pain, she didn't cry when she lost the game, but she burst into tears when she looked at her back.

At this moment, Xie Shi'an had a thought in his heart, just like the feeling of being locked up at home and watching the last leaf wither outside the window that year.

I'm so tired, or... forget it.

Could it be that as long as she no longer appears on the field, all of this can be subsided.