The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Questionnaire interview subjects: Luo Binghe x Shen Qingqiu

Questionnaire moderator: Masturbating to the sky

Questionnaire provider: System

The system of Xiangtian Masturbation issued a task.

A strange questionnaire.

I don’t know what I want to investigate in the entire questionnaire. The further you go to the back, the more unsightly the questions become.

However, no matter how ugly it is, he still has to save some points, right? !

After abandoning his dignity (which was only a few kilograms in the first place) and begging Shen DaDa, Shen Qingqiu finally reluctantly agreed to take the one he raised, ah no, the apprentice he raised, to complete this questionnaire.

So, the following is the actual situation of the aircraft.

Shang Qinghua: "May I ask what your name is?"

Luo Binghe heard this question as soon as he sat down. He raised his eyebrows and said displeasedly: "I don't even know the name, why are you asking?"

Shang Qinghua: "What is your age?"

...To be honest, Shen Qingqiu really didn't know the specific age of this body. He raised his head to Shang Qinghua and said, "Shouldn't you know better?"

Shang Qinghua turned the brush and thought to himself, he had never thought about this problem, so he might as well just casually draw a number on it with two random strokes.

Shang Qinghua: "What is your gender?"

Luo Binghe didn't bother to answer the three mentally retarded questions at the beginning, and Shen Qingqiu couldn't bear it anymore: "Being assigned to the pure love channel, what do you think?"

Shang Qinghua silently crossed out more than thirty similar nonsense questions at the end of the questionnaire and asked again: "What is your personality like?"

Shen Qingqiu thought for a moment and said, "It's okay."

Luo Binghe said: "I don't know."

Shang Qinghua: "What about the other party's character?"

Shen Qingqiu counted them one by one: "Crybaby, girlish heart, love brain, chubby, greasy, crooked and sticky."

Luo Binghe's eyes sparkled, as if he was disliked and a little hurt, but he still answered the question obediently: "Master's character is of course the best. He is gentle, strong, and considerate."

Shen Qingqiu: "..."

Suddenly I feel a little embarrassed. What's going on?

He coughed twice and changed his words: "This kid actually has a pretty good character. He has one advantage that is particularly rare. Being obedient is enough."

Luo Binghe's cheeks felt dizzy.

Shang Qinghua said dryly: "When did the two of them meet? Where?"

He knows the answer to this question!

Luo Binghe said: "The first time I met Master was when I just passed the entrance examination of Cangqiong Mountain Sect..."

Shen Qingqiu felt uncomfortable. The person Luo Binghe met at that time was not him, but the original product. Moreover, it was not a good memory.

He shook his fan and said, "Pass, pass!"

Shang Qinghua: "What was your first impression of the other party?"

Luo Binghe continued to recall, and said lightly: "A high and unattainable immortal."

Shen Qingqiu said truthfully: "A little bun." He was still a handsome boy.

Shang Qinghua: "What do you like about the other person?"

Shen Qingqiu said with kind eyes, "Be obedient enough."

Luo Binghe smiled: "I like everything about Master."

Shang Qinghua: "What do you hate about the other party?"

Luo Binghe said decisively: "No."

Seeing that he answered so decisively, Shen Qingqiu was a little moved, and he returned the favor and said, "No."

If he really said what he disliked and asked him to cry in front of outsiders, that would be an embarrassment...

Shang Qinghua: "What do you call him?"

Luo Binghe was bored and turned around and said: "Master, these questions are really puzzling. What are we here to do?"

Shen Qingqiu said calmly: "Binghe is good. It's just a formality. Just think of it as saving your Uncle Shang's life."

Shang Qinghua: "What do you want the other party to call you?"

Luo Binghe blushed.

When Shen Qingqiu saw him being so shy, an ominous premonition surged in his heart. He waved his hand and said, "I've passed! I've passed!"

Seeing that something seemed to be breaking out, Shang Qinghua yelled, "What's the matter? I've passed every question, what else is there to ask? Brother Bing... Nephew, just tell me!"

Luo Binghe glanced at Shen Qingqiu anxiously and whispered: "Just like how couples usually call each other."

Shang Qinghua immediately said: "Master Shen, Bing...nephew wants to hear you call me husband, do you hear me?"

Shen Qingqiu said: "Shut up."

Shang Qinghua: "If you use an animal metaphor, what do you think the other person is?"

Luo Binghe said without hesitation: "Linlin Baihe."

Shen Qingqiu said: "I can't think of animals. There are plants. Black lotus, maybe."

Luo Binghe asked in confusion: "Master, are there black lotus flowers?"

Shang Qinghua: "If you wanted to give someone a gift, what would you choose? What gift do you want?"

Luo Binghe said: "As long as Master opens his mouth, I will offer you anything."

Shen Qingqiu said honestly: "It seems that there is nothing in particular that I want."

As the master of a peak, there really isn't anything that is difficult to obtain. Thinking about it this way, it really feels like a waste to sit on a golden mountain.

Luo Binghe said: "Then I want Master to ignore everyone and stay with me for three days."

Shang Qinghua licked the tip of his pen and muttered, "Why don't I just stay with you for the rest of my life."

Luo Binghe shook his head and said, "Master will be unhappy."

Shang Qinghua was dumbfounded when he saw him looking sad* and looking like a resentful woman, but Shen Qingqiu was very calm: "You kid, you are thinking nonsense again, how can your teacher be unhappy?"

Shang Qinghua: "How far has your relationship progressed?"

Shen Qingqiu said: "I have done everything I should do, and I have also done what I shouldn't do."

Luo Binghe said aggrievedly: "Why is there something we shouldn't do? Does Master think that we... shouldn't do it?"

Shen Qingqiu said: "No. If you really shouldn't do it, my teacher won't let you do it."

Shang Qinghua: "Where did you two have their first date?"

Luo Binghe said: "Huanhua Palace Water Prison."

Shang Qinghua: "..."

Shen Qingqiu: "..."

Brother Bing, do you call that a date? !

Shang Qinghua: "How was the atmosphere between the two of you at that time?"

Luo Binghe: "Not very good."

It can't be described as "not very good" at all!

Shang Qinghua: "Where do you often date?"

Shen Qingqiu rested his chin with one hand: "When you open your eyes, it's him you see. When you close your eyes, you still see him. Does this count as dating all the time?"

Luo Binghe said cautiously: "Will Master find it annoying?"

Shen Qingqiu touched his back and said, "No. You just think too much."

Shang Qinghua thought to himself, being with Brother Bing, no, being with Bingmei is so damn tiring!

After just a few questions, Mr. Shen cajoled him three times! This blx is so crumbly and sticky, when will it end?

So annoying!

Shen Qingqiu is just like a kindergarten teacher taking care of children!

Shang Qinghua: "Which party confessed first?"

Luo Binghe: "Me."

Shen Qingqiu: "Of course it's him."

Shang Qinghua: "What does the other person do that makes you feel uncomfortable?"

Shen Qingqiu spread his hands and said helplessly: "I can't do anything when he starts crying."

Luo Binghe said: "When Master gets angry, I can't do anything."

Shang Qinghua hummed, shaking his legs, and complained in his mind while remembering: He is exactly the same as the kindergarten children and kindergarten teachers!

Shang Qinghua: "What is the thing that makes your heart beat faster when the two of you are together?"

Luo Binghe said seriously: "Touch your head when you teach me."

Shen Qingqiu said: "Well, when you are crying and begging me for something."

Luo Binghe continued: "When you scolded me and hit me..."

His face was full of intoxication, and Shen Qingqiu seemed to be used to it.

Shang Qinghua silently added a note next to Luo Binghe's name: terminally ill.

Shang Qinghua: "Have you ever lied to the other party? Are you good at lying?"

As soon as he asked this question, he confidently wrote the three characters "liar" behind Luo Binghe's name.

Luo Binghe said: "Yes. But never again!"

Shang Qinghua: "Have you ever had a quarrel? What kind of quarrels were they?"

Shen Qingqiu sighed: "It's so noisy. Whoever controls heaven and earth doesn't know why."

Luo Binghe said sullenly: "Why do you keep asking these questions? It's just to make Master unhappy."

Shang Qinghua spread his hands: "It's my fault."

Shang Qinghua: "How to reconcile in the future?"

Shen Qingqiu waved his hand and said: "Save the world!"

Shang Qinghua: "Is the relationship between the two recognized or confidential?"

Shen Qingqiu asked: "Have you ever heard of Chunshan Hatred?"

The next question is running all the way to the lower limit. Shang Qinghua cleared his throat: "Are you the attacker or the recipient?"

Luo Binghe was confused: "What do you mean?"

He really didn't understand, but Shen Qingqiu pretended not to understand, waving his fan and saying, "Who knows what it means, I've lived through it."

Shang Qinghua: "Why did you decide this way?"

Shen Qingqiu thought for a while: "I don't know, it's decided like this for no reason. Maybe... because you feel sorry for him?"

Luo Binghe said doubtfully: "I still don't understand what you are asking."

Shen Qingqiu patted his head and said earnestly: "It doesn't matter if you don't understand. You won't suffer anyway."

Shang Qinghua: "Where was the first skin-to-skin kiss?"

Just as Shen Qingqiu was about to answer, Luo Binghe said, "Qingjing Peak."

Shen Qingqiu: "Bury..."

Luo Binghe said again: "Qingjing Peak, Bamboo House."

Shen Qingqiu thought to himself, well, Luo Binghe would not admit such a failure for the first time. Qingjing Peak is Qingjing Peak. There is nothing to argue about. I will not correct him no matter how he answers.

Shang Qinghua: "What were your thoughts at that time?"

Shen Qingqiu remained silent.

If he told the truth, there would only be three words: "It hurts, it hurts." It would be too embarrassing for Luo Binghe in front of others.

Luo Binghe said in frustration: "Master is so kind. But I'm so useless."

Shang Qinghua: "On the morning of your first night, what was your first sentence?"

Luo Binghe: "Master, breakfast is ready."

Shen Qingqiu: "Don't say anything, just put on your clothes first!"

Shang Qinghua: "How many times do you have sex per month?"

Shen Qingqiu was puzzled: "Who can do this kind of thing when they are so free? Also, why does the problem keep developing in a very strange direction?"

Luo Binghe said seriously: "Roughly speaking, it's three days and one night. If Master is happy, you can let me touch you once in two days."

Shang Qinghua bit the pen holder and muttered while writing notes: "This is unscientific...According to my settings, it should be no problem to do it from the beginning of the month to the end of the month without interruption, right?"

Shang Qinghua: "Under normal circumstances, where is the place for skin-to-skin contact?"

Shen Qingqiu said: "He is obsessed with the bamboo house."

Luo Binghe smiled and nodded: "Yes."

Shang Qinghua: "What [beep] place do you want to try?"

Shen Qingqiu said: "If you don't do it anywhere, why don't you change the place?"

Luo Binghe said calmly: "Hundred Battles Peak."

There was silence.

Luo Binghe said calmly: "Baizhan Peak martial arts field."

Shen Qingqiu = mouth =: "...fuck?!"

Shang Qinghua: It’s shameless to risk your life! ?

Shang Qinghua: "Did the two of you make any agreement during [beep]?"

Luo Binghe: "You must tell me if it hurts. You must!"

Shen Qingqiu: "Don't cry!"

Shang Qinghua: "I said, have you mistaken the meaning of the word 'promise'?"

Shang Qinghua: "Do you agree or disagree with the idea that if you don't get your heart, you should at least get it?"

Shen Qingqiu disagreed: "Luthor...the thoughts of a loser."

Luo Binghe said: "If you don't have a heart, what's the use of it?"

Shang Qinghua felt extremely sad: in his writing, Luo Binghe was clearly a peerless stallion who only pursues sexual desires. The number of strong girls must be in double digits...

He knew that Luo Binghe had become gay in this strange world, but how did he fall to this point step by step!

Shang Qinghua: "What would you do if the other person was raped by a mob?"

This question is so surreal.

Shen Qingqiu was speechless for a while, then said: "Who can't think of raping him..."

Isn’t it okay to find a tragic and beautiful way to die?

Luo Binghe rolled up his sleeves and said slowly: "Make it a human pig, throw it into the abyss, then think of other ways, and slowly cook it until you die."

Shang Qinghua: "If a good friend told you that I am very lonely, so I only have tonight, please...and ask for skin-to-skin kisses, would you?"

Luo Binghe said indifferently: "I don't have that kind of shameless friends. I don't need friends."

Shen Qingqiu lowered his head and scraped the tea leaves from the cup, took a sip and said, "Me neither."

Luo Binghe doubted: "Really? Liu...Uncle Master wouldn't do such a thing?"

Tea sprayed all over the floor.

Shang Qinghua came back after changing into clean clothes and continued to ask questions.

"Do you think you are good at sex? What about the other person?"

Shen Qingqiu laughed dryly. Luo Binghe was about to cry. When Shen Qingqiu saw his gloomy face and unspeakable desolation, he felt pity in his heart. He turned to Shang Qinghua and said angrily: "Won't you open and lift the pot? Go ahead!"

Shang Qinghua dug his ears: "It's all my fault anyway."

Shang Qinghua: "Are you interested in □□?"

Luo Binghe said: "What is that? Master, why are there more and more things I don't understand?"

Shen Qingqiu said: "Oh. I'm just asking you, do you like it when I hit you, do you like it when I scold you, or do you feel it when I prick you with a needle or burn you with a fire?"

Luo Binghe looked a little shy and said softly: "Since it is what the master did, how could the disciple not like it?"

Shang Qinghua understood and waved his pen: "Luo Binghe is very interested in ****!"

Shang Qinghua: "What is more painful during sex?"

Luo Binghe: "Too small."

Shen Qingqiu: "It's too big."

Shang Qinghua secretly cursed that both master and disciple were shameless, and waved his pen: "You will understand it yourself!"

Shang Qinghua: "Have you ever been seduced by Fang?"

Shen Qingqiu pointed at himself: "Me? Do you look like that kind of person?"

Shang Qinghua muttered: "It's hard to say. In fact, you look straight too..."

Shang Qinghua: "Where do you like to be kissed?"

Luo Binghe said: "Forehead, fingers, lips, everywhere."

Shen Qingqiu said helplessly: "Actually... this child can't kiss, he can only bite."

Shang Qinghua: "What is the best way to please the other person in [Beep]?"

Shen Qingqiu said: "Praise him for his progress?"

Luo Binghe said: "Don't cry."

Shang Qinghua's pen moved like the wind, and he added absentmindedly: "Dr. Shen's requirements are really low."

Shang Qinghua: "What will you be thinking about at that time?"

Shen Qingqiu said: "Who issued this questionnaire? Do you have any experience? At that time, what else can you think about besides being blank!"

Shang Qinghua: "Should you take off your clothes yourself, or should someone help you take them off?"

Shen Qingqiu said: "Let him come, I won't have much clothes to wear."

Luo Binghe argued: "Master, how can I still control my strength at that time?"

Shang Qinghua: "About how many times a night?"

Shen Qingqiu said with a headache: "How many times? Who can really count this matter?"

Shang Qinghua turned a page and was waiting to ask again. Luo Binghe, who had already lost his patience, sneered: "I really want to know, just count it today and tell Shang...Uncle Shang later, that's all!"

Luo Binghe was indeed an action man, and he did what he said. Before Shang Qinghua could react, he had already pulled Shen Qingqiu up and said, "I won't accompany you!" He kicked the door and walked out with great energy. A strong wind entered the room and took what he had just written. A stack of questionnaires blew all over the floor.

The corner of Shang Qinghua's mouth twitched. He knelt down and picked up a few pictures. After a while, he suddenly knelt down.

"Dad Shen... the task... I haven't finished asking yet... the system shouldn't deduct some time from me so quickly!"