The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

[Book title: Chapter 94 Extra: Masturbation Adventures 5 Author:]

At that time, Xiangtian, who was diligently masturbating, didn't know that the scumbag villain Shen Qingqiu had been replaced by the peerless troll, Peerless Cucumber.

In the past, when he occasionally squirted too much, he would curse him and pray viciously that no matter how unique his cucumber was, he would never be able to use it. Unexpectedly, to some extent, this curse came true.

Brother Bing is in a particularly bad mood these days.

Shang Qinghua can understand. As the stallion male protagonist in the original work who could do anything alone, now he brings Shen Qingqiu here to imprison him - actually he is really just imprisoned. It's closed when it's done, nothing else.

Can you believe it? ! As the original author, he couldn’t believe it!

If the current Brother Bing can still be controlled by his pen, in line with the principle of "making the protagonist happy, it makes the readers happy", he will definitely let Luo Binghe rape Shen Qingqiu hundreds of times like frying pancakes over and over again. Hundreds of times (there is absolutely no personal grudge between him and Peerless Cucumber. Absolutely not.) The specific location and venue do not imply duplicates. Only when it's cooked can you talk easily. When it's fried, you'll naturally have feelings...

Comparing the hard and simple life that Brother Bing had now, with three years of meat-free life, Shang Qinghua felt even more sorry for his own son.

Therefore, no one who is not smart would dare to come forward to seek embarrassment at this moment.

Everyone in the underground palace meeting hall was busy with their own affairs. While Sha Hualing was mending her giant web of Immortal Binding Rope that was exploded by Shen Qingqiu, she secretly glanced at Luo Binghe, biting her lips unwillingly from time to time. Lord Mobei was half dozing in the west with his eyes lowered, while Shang Qinghua was so idle that he was shaking his legs in a panic.

He really had nothing to do and didn't want to come to the meeting hall. But this is the territory of the demon clan, and if he follows Mo Beijun every step of the way, he might be eaten alive by other alien creatures.

I was about to crawl to Mo Beijun, but at the risk of being beaten, I asked the king to change to a more relaxed place to take a nap. Luo Binghe suddenly said two words.

"if."

The ears of all the demons in the hall stood up.

Luo Binghe said: "If you feel special about someone, how can you make him understand your feelings?"

her!

This is a case of urgent medical treatment!

Although he asked very implicitly, no one could tell that he was seeking love counseling.

This kind of matter was actually discussed seriously in front of his subordinates. As expected, humans (devils) cannot fall in love, and once they fall in love, their IQ plummets.

Of course, no one would expose him directly, but this question was too... inconsistent with the style of the demon clan. For a while, no one answered. In fact, the answer is so simple that any ordinary person can answer it. If you like it, just say it. However, there was no "ordinary" person present, and no one except Shang Qinghua was "human". Mo Beijun thought for a while, and with his brain circuitry, he didn't know what he understood by "unusual", and said: "Beat three times a day?"

Luo Binghe made a "stop" gesture with one hand and said wisely: "You don't have to answer."

Among those present, the only one with a gender advantage who might be good at this kind of problem was Sha Hualing, so everyone else turned their attention to her. Sister Sha, who was very popular in the original work, had a look on her face like "wtf why do I need to provide this kind of consultation to the man I want to have sex with?" She twitched her well-shaped eyebrows and the corners of her mouth: "Why don't you ask Senior Dream Demon?"

Luo Binghe said: "I asked."

No one knows better than Shang Qinghua what kind of urinary answers the dream demon can give. Like him, this one is definitely a "get it done first" type of person! Shang Qinghua couldn't help but burst out with a "poof" sound.

Sha Hualing was full of grievances and had no place to vent her anger. She caught the moment and burst out: "Bold! Who are you? Not only do you dare to sneak into the meeting hall, but you actually dare to disturb the scene when the king is discussing important matters! "

This kind of question...can't be called an important matter for discussion, and he just sprayed it, how could he "disrupt the scene"? Since this was not the first time that Sha Hualing had picked on him, Shang Qinghua could deal with it indifferently and sat there honestly, pretending that he was a ball of air. As expected, Mo Beijun was indifferent. Seeing that no one was paying attention to her, Sha Hualing twirled her nails angrily and said, "Your Majesty, Lord Mobei takes him with him everywhere every day. He never avoids suspicion and even takes him with him to the meeting hall. What on earth does this mean?"

Luo Binghe was also indifferent: "You see him every day, haven't you gotten used to it?"

Shahualing almost fainted.

This is the first time in months that Brother Bing has spoken out about his own existence! Shang Qinghua's heart suddenly burst into ecstasy, saying, "My son, please pay attention to me, hahahahaha." Unexpectedly, Luo Binghe looked at him and said, "Since you smiled, does it mean you have something to say?"

"..." Shang Qinghua was speechless. Sha Hualing let out a "Ha!" and said, "What your Majesty asked is absolutely true. Since he and Shen... are so familiar with each other, he must have some great insights. We are all ears."

Shang Qinghua looked back at Mobei Jun who was sitting behind him, and saw that he really had no intention of resolving the situation for him. He became cruel and said resolutely: "...Of course...of course I have something to say! The secret lies in one word: 'Tangle' '!"

"As the saying goes, a martyr woman is afraid of her husband, and a strong man is afraid of a maiden. With great effort, an iron pestle can be ground into a needle. Even if it is straightened into an embroidery needle, it can be broken into a paper clip!"

Sha Hualing said: "What are you talking about? Don't speak the dialect of the human world. Your Majesty, I think he is just trying to be mysterious!"

However, Luo Binghe was completely in the state and murmured: "Have I not entangled you enough? Not enough?"

Shang Qinghua said eloquently: "Entertainment is the main policy guideline, but in addition to this mantra, there is another very important point that needs to be paid attention to. Gentlemen, you must know that women's love comes from worship, and men's love comes from pity. Women's love comes from pity. We won't discuss the situation for now. I believe that no woman will not be impressed by the king's peerless power and overwhelming style. So we will only discuss another situation. If you want a man to understand you, ah no, you. , what should you do if you understand your feelings and respond? It’s easy. No man doesn’t like weak, cute, and docile objects. So what is cuteness? , so the object must be very well-behaved and..."

Flattery and ghosts flew together, and the people in the hall all spied on Luo Binghe, who was sitting high above: his face was gloomy, his pupils were red, and there was an undercurrent of murderous intent. He was simply inviolable (bu). (man) The most vivid annotation of the four characters. The distance between words like weak, cute, docile, and well-behaved is like a chasm.

Sha Hualing couldn't help but sigh.

Shang Qinghua quickly shut up. Luo Binghe rubbed his temples: "You continue."

After receiving approval, Shang Qinghua continued his analysis. He said maliciously: "We can take Shen Qingqiu as an example. He is a straight man... What does straight man mean? Oh, a straight man is a normal man... Of course, I'm not saying that you are abnormal. He values ​​the dignity of being a teacher. Teachers like to favor obedient students, so if you want him to like you, the first step is to be obedient..."

The demons and ghosts in the hall were so shocked that they were almost stunned by his unbridled words.

Sha Hualing: "How presumptuous! Do you mean to let you pretend to be pitiful and listen to his words? How can you, a noble man from the demon world, do such a shameful thing!!!"

That’s what it means to me!

Shasha, you turn your head and look at your master's thoughtful expression. Does he seem to think this kind of thing is shameful?

Arguing impassionedly and eloquently, when Shang Qinghua ended his twenty-minute love consultation, Sha Hualing had already strangled him with her eyes thousands of times. As soon as Luo Binghe left, Shang Qinghua quickly moved to Mobei Jun's house. Side, close together, seeking shelter.

Mo Beijun squinted at him: "So if you want to be liked by a man, the most effective way is to pretend to be pitiful?"

Shang Qinghua thought for a while, "Theoretically speaking, is this correct?"

Mo Beijun stretched out his hand.

Shang Qinghua thought he was about to be beaten again, so he quickly held his head. But I didn't expect the pain I expected. Mo Beijun just knocked lightly on the top of his head.

Then he stood up, seemingly in a good mood, and walked out of the meeting hall. Although Shang Qinghua was confused, he couldn't resist Sha Hualing's eager eyes, and he hurriedly took three steps and then two steps to keep up.

Eventually there was a big fuss.

Buried Bone Ridge exploded into countless flying sand and rocks and billowing smoke, just as he had planned in his original outline.

He also acted bravely and saved the flightless Mobei Jun once. When grabbing his hand in the air, Shang Qinghua could clearly see the shock in his eyes.

Perhaps because of his good performance, his salary has been improved recently, and he was allowed to go back to his hometown in Cangqiong Mountain to visit.

Yue Qingyuan, a great good man, allowed him to return to Anding Peak and continue to be the nominal peak master regardless of the past grievances. These days in the Xianren Residence, Shang Qinghua was really idle for the first time. After finishing the melon seeds in stock, I suddenly remembered that the system had not made any sound for a long time.

Shang Qinghua rarely took the initiative to poke the system, and the system gave him an earth-shattering response.

System: [Goal achieved. The return attachment is being downloaded. 】

Shang Qinghua: "..."

After a moment, he began to shake the shoulders of the (non-existent) system wildly: "Goal achieved?! Return to town attachment?! Which return to town attachment is it?! Is it the one I thought? Ah? The system is big, this is your first time You’ve said so many words, please say a few more, please!”

System: [The original design is basically achieved, the emotional line is slightly deviated, and the goal is achieved. The attachment for returning to the original world has been downloaded. Please enable the return process. 】

He agrees that the original design has basically been achieved, and all the holes that need to be filled have been filled in, but "a slight deviation in the emotional line" is wrong, isn't it? How can it be called a "slight deviation" when Brother Bing has already gone to stir up the foundation? Oh, okay, okay. In fact, in his original design, Brother Bing has no love line. If you want to add one, it doesn't matter. So there is so much nonsense... Does it mean that he can return to the original world? ! ? !

Shang Qinghua burst into tears.

He hasn't written for a long time. I miss Xiangtian Masturbation, a vest that is evenly matched between pink and black, I miss the group of trolls in the book review section, I miss the reward trenches, I miss the laptop he used since his freshman year, which often crashes and cheats, and the huge files in the hard drive. Yes, there were boxes of instant noodles stacked up spectacularly behind the swivel chair. He had not had time to try the latest flavors after buying them at wholesale prices.

The system pops up a dialog box: [Attachment download completed. Whether to enable? ] followed by two buttons of different colors.

【Yes】【Tell me next time】

Shang Qinghua impulsively wanted to press the red button on the left.

But something grabbed his arm.

In fact, he doesn't have any relatives there.

When I was young, my parents divorced and went their separate ways, and they already had their own brand-new families. Occasionally having a meal together, no matter where he is, he feels that his presence is very intrusive. He politely picks up the food and politely apologizes, which is more polite than eating with a real stranger.

Although his father is his legal guardian, when they don't see each other, except for occasional phone calls during the New Year and holidays to ask if he needs money, the two parties have no more interactions. Sometimes he would even forget to ask him if he was short of money, but he would never remind him. No matter where he is or who he is facing, what he is most accustomed to and good at is smiling at others.

After all, they are adults and there is no way they can pay for college tuition. He has to figure out his own living expenses.

It was during the period when he was "thinking of a solution" that he accidentally registered a terminal vest and started writing articles.

At the beginning, it was purely for venting, and I could write whatever I wanted. Although it failed miserably and it was problematic to put it on the shelves, it actually received praise from a special group of people.

One time, I suddenly wanted to change my style to see if I could save the subscriptions that my editor was too lazy to bother with, so it became an instant hit.

Masturbating to the sky, he had a great enlightenment, and he "thought of a way".

The more I write, the more I stay home, and the more I stay home, the more I write. As a typical otaku, those who have good relationships and get along well with each other are all online, and they are worlds away from each other. There are basically no friends like Mo Beijun.

Stop it.

Mr. Mobei? friend?

He actually positioned Mo Beijun as a "friend"? !

Shang Qinghua was frightened by himself and hurriedly went to get another bag of dragon bone melon seeds, a specialty of Qiancao Peak. He ate three kilograms of them and went to sleep.

When Mobei Jun packed up his clothes and dragged him down the Anding Peak and into the northern frontier of the Demon Clan, he was dreaming with a salty mouthful after eating melon seeds. In his dream, he was in full swing devouring the three kilograms of Rexiang he had promised. He woke up from the cold.

Mo Beijun threw him to the ground, facing the knife-like wind and snow in the northern border, his outline and expression became sharper.

Although he was very handsome, very handsome, Shang Qinghua was too cold to appreciate his handsomeness in a leisurely manner. His tongue would freeze if he tried to flatter him, so he shut up and got up shivering while wrapped in a quilt. An ice and snow bunker protruded from the ground ahead. Mo Beijun walked straight away, and Shang Qinghua quickly followed.

The door of the bunker made of ice bricks rumbled open and closed, and there was no one walking through the long stairs until near a dormitory, where there were only a few guards and maids who dared not come out.

Shang Qinghua took a look at Mo Beijun's face. Although it was as arrogant and indifferent as before, it was a little more solemn.

He couldn't help but ask: "Well, Your Majesty, how long are we going to stand here?"

Lord Mobei didn't move his head, his eyes turned to him: "Seven days."

Shang Qinghua is absolutely defeated.

That's all, maybe I will go back and continue masturbating soon. Take advantage of these seven days to say goodbye properly. After all, after returning home, no one would beat him frequently, make him work like a cow or a horse, wash clothes, or serve him tea and water.

After standing for a while, I felt colder and colder. As expected, the Mobei clan's territory was not a place for people to stay. Shang Qinghua kept running and jumping in place to avoid being frozen alive into an ice sculpture. Mo Beijun looked at him, and there seemed to be a flash of smile in his eyes. He reached out and pinched one of his fingers, as if the chill was sucked away from this connection, and Shang Qinghua felt that it was not so uncomfortable.

I just feel more and more emotional about the upcoming parting. I feel more and more reluctant to give up.

Thinking about it, Mobei Jun is actually quite good to him besides having a bad temper, poor living ability, being a bit spoiled and loving to hit others.

The benefits are good and the salary is good. Even if a beating is commonplace, he is the only one who can beat him, and it is not okay for others to beat him. Besides, I haven’t beaten him much recently.

Shang Qinghua was deeply worried about his seemingly distorted view of life and happiness.

What if he really goes back, what if Mobei Jun suddenly wants to find someone to beat him up, but he can't be found anywhere. When you imagine the situation, it's a bit sad that things will end and people will change. .

Suddenly, the chill returned to him. Mobei Jun said coldly: "Where are you going back?"

Only then did Shang Qinghua realize that under the sadness, he actually expressed his mental activities like this.

This is really "sad".

Mo Beijun's hand tightened, almost breaking his index finger: "Now you say you want to leave?"

Shang Qinghua hurriedly said: "No, not now!"

"Not now?" Lord Mobei said, "What did you say to me?"

Follow the king all your life. It has been said countless times as a slogan. But he thought no one took this sentence seriously...

After a long silence, Lord Mobei said: "If you want to leave, leave now. You don't have to wait for seven days."

Shang Qinghua was stunned and said: "Your Majesty, I really left, and we will never see each other again."

Mo Beijun looked at him like he was looking down at ants from a height of 90 million feet, and asked, "Why do you think I care about this?"

Even though Shang Qinghua's face had been trained to be invulnerable over the years, he also flinched in front of his expression and words. He still wanted to talk, but things turned out beyond expectations.

Lord Mobei said: "Go away."

The body suddenly flew backwards and hit the steel-like ice wall. The severe pain only numbed his back for a moment, and immediately spread to his internal organs.

Mo Beijun didn't even raise his hand, and didn't even forget to glance over at him. Shang Qinghua's throat instantly filled with warm liquid that smelled like rust.

Although Mo Beijun beat him almost every day, and often told him to "go away", so he should be accustomed to it, but never once did Shang Qinghua feel such strong hatred and anger.

Like he had done countless times before, he got up from the ground, silently wiped the blood from his mouth, and silently gave an unappreciated smile.

After standing for a while and still wanting to speak, Mobei Jun shouted unbearably: "Get out!"

Shang Qinghua hurriedly rolled out.

To be honest, although no one knew what he was thinking, he still felt a little embarrassed.

Because of the thoughts of "Mobei Jun" and "friends" that flashed through my mind before. 2k novel reading network