This star is from the earth
Chapter 6: Another World Version of
The guests all stared at Han Jue with wide-eyed eyes, and the unnatural face of the one who was called could hardly be controlled.
However, Han Jue's complaints continued.
"Ma'am, I just heard that the program group was very surprised to invite you as a guest. I was actually very surprised. It is not easy for you to find time to come to the scene during the plastic surgery schedule. Seriously, if you Dead, remember to cut your face into small pieces, in case the bird eats the plastic and causes indigestion, otherwise it is considered animal cruelty."
This plastic surgery is obvious, and everyone dare not complain about it, so Han Jue has no worries, such a big problem, it is uncomfortable not to complain.
"There is another one whose goal is too big, and it is difficult not to notice it. It makes people very worried that he has to fry his hands every time before he chews his fingernails to feel enough taste." This is a chubby middle-aged uncle who complained.
The uncle seemed to show his disdain for Han Jue by pinching his nostrils.
Han Jue saw it and said:
"This greasy uncle, I heard that you also suck fans other than fans. I want to sigh here. Your nose is like Mr. Chen's sphincter. You really dare to stuff anything into it."
Mr. Chen is the second man in flirtatious clothes.
Everyone was stunned for a moment, and then the audience burst into laughter and boos.
Professional talk show actors really admire Han Jue very much. These live impromptu talk shows are not bad even if they are put into real performances.
"This man, who attracted my attention very much, has a very strange hairstyle (Kill Matt), everyone, look at this face, his specialty is that he is good at hiding his eyes, because he is worried about being hit by anti-wolf spray. Everyone remember him, don't give him a chance to commit crimes." This is Xiao Guang who fought back at Han Jue who complained about Han Jue at first.
"The next one is our Mr. Chen, Mr. Chen, I have known you for a long time, you are a legend, and your humor has reached the realm of legend."
Mr. Chen was clicked just now, and now he is waiting for Han Jue like a big enemy, so he was suddenly praised like this, which is really unexpected.
The audience clapped politely when they heard this.
"Wait, wait, actually, I mean legends, legends like Shennongjia savages, Loch Ness monster, and alien spaceships. Teacher Chen's humor is in the same category as the above legends, and the common point is that we have all heard of them , but no one has really seen it.”
Looking at the boiling scene, the director was really convinced by what happened on stage. He looked at the screenwriters of the program group next to him, what are the screenwriters doing? What are you doing jumping up and down?
"The next one, about this one, how well he performed~" Han Jue sighed.
When everyone thought it was an exclamation sentence, Han Jue added: "I said [how good] in the literal sense, this is an interrogative sentence. Because I can't understand a damn word when he speaks."
Only then did the audience burst into laughter, blaming themselves for thinking that Han Jue had started to praise others, and the guest's speech was indeed a bit hard to hear.
The guest who was complained by Han Jue and couldn't hear clearly stood up and began to say that Han Jue was either a sissy with ear problems or brain problems.
After seeing the guest standing up and crackling, Han Jue looked at the audience as usual and said, "Has his interpreter arrived at the scene?"
The atmosphere at the scene was even more enthusiastic.
"Next one, I was very fierce when I complained just now. I have to admit that I really envy him. He said that he has three variety shows to host. He is very rich and has many achievements. Of course, I am most envious of him. I can still walk on the street without being recognized." The complaint is that in the eyes of Chinese people, black people all look alike.
The black guest immediately refused to accept it, and shouted that he would go out later to make an appointment for a fight.
Han Jue heard it, looked at the black guest with a smile, and said, "Why don't you have a show here?"
The black guest was questioned, and under the pressure of the audience's gaze, he didn't know what was wrong with his brain, and he said, "Because there are too many yellow people here."
Han Jue sneered, looked at the surprised audience, and said unhurriedly: "You ran to a country full of yellow people, and then said that there are too many yellow people here. Why, you said that to the Indians at the beginning Is it?"
The atmosphere on the scene stagnated for a moment, because not everyone knew how the United States was founded. But the audience who reacted, applauded especially loudly.
A wonderful present.
The black man suddenly froze, angry, embarrassed, humiliated, and afraid.
Some people who thought that Han Jue was cooperating with the script of the show also believed that Han Jue was really improvising. It's just that such vicious jokes are definitely not something that illiterate, illiterate, and brainless people can say or write.
After casually hanging up on the black man, Han Jue's complaints continued.
"The next one, my colleague, Xiaohan, Xiaohan speaks very slowly, she seems to enjoy this moment. I just want to remind you, after many years, when you return to the fast food restaurant to work as a waiter, think back to you tonight In the highlight moment of your life, you will say: I...how I wish...that I...was... more interesting."
Xiaohan recalled working part-time in a fast food restaurant in the jokes in Tucao. Han Jue was not only complaining, but also a hidden curse, implying that Lin Yihan's stardom failed.
The audience burst into tears with laughter. Except for the main guest, Lin Qin, Han Jue didn't complain, and he had already complained a lot.
Everyone enjoys the venomous tongue and mean complaints.
Previously, this show was full of cursing and cursing. They had never seen such straightforward complaints or even face-to-face personal attacks on the spot. I've never seen it before, but I'm very excited and buy it.
Han Jue didn't know how long the time had passed, he felt that there was nothing to complain about and he could go down. The main guest will not complain, because she hasn't complained about him yet, and there are few materials to attack.
But among the audience in the audience, some are diehard fans of a certain guest. They jumped up and down, hurled insults regardless, they were so conspicuous in the crowd.
Han Jue didn't leave, he continued:
"Hey, those children, why are you so serious? You are too sensitive. I don't like sensitive people very much, and I don't like sensitive children either. Let me tell you a story."
"I have a 6-year-old nephew and once I asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he said 'Uncle Han, I want a Barbie doll.' I told him 'Fuck you, you little moron.' No Got it wrong, I don't care if he likes to play with dolls, I'm fine with him wanting to wear dresses. But I wouldn't buy him a Barbie, Barbies give little boys unrealistic expectations, what? Make them think it's easy to unscrew the head."
Everyone was amused.
"So you see, it's better to have a more relaxed atmosphere. Don't be a joke policeman. Don't worry, I won't complain about you. Other audiences don't think about making something out of it all day long."
"When I go down, someone will tell me, 'Han Jue, you are so fucking interesting, but after this episode airs, those idiot fans will hate you to death.' I will tell him, no, idiot fans Hate my show, and smart fans..."
Han Jue paused at this point,
"Smart fans will not come to my performance, they want to prevent being mad at me."
The laughter at the scene almost never stopped.
In fact, the performance time given to Han Jue has exceeded, but everyone seems to be immersed in Han Jue's special performance. The director team also calmed down from the panic at the beginning, and patted Han Jue happily as if they had received an unexpected joy. As for the trap against Han Jue before, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Can a thin-skinned person hang out in the circle?
"I actually understand that fans come to scold me. Even though it's cyber violence, I will also understand. After all, my mouth is so poisonous, right? I am also... I am barely an idol, I have my own fans, once. So I really understand."
"Once my parents found out that I smoked, they called me over and asked me to smoke a pack of cigarettes at once. A whole pack of cigarettes, all at once. Then they taught me an important lesson,"
Han Jue paused and looked at the audience.
"Be loyal to the brand."
This sudden show was really caught off guard.
The joke itself is not particularly funny, it’s funny when everyone thinks that after being discovered by their parents, being asked to smoke a whole pack at a time is an extreme education, another way to get him to quit smoking. It turned out not to be.
This kind of "unexpectedness" is just a very common point in talk shows.
What's really interesting is that Han Jue combined [loyalty to stars] and [smoking that is harmful to health]. I said I understood this kind of behavior before, but then I satirized it with smoking.
If he didn't make a mockery of it, the audience would really think that Han Jue had changed his sex.
Amidst the laughter, Han Jue thanked the audience, bowed, and walked back to his seat.
"Wow!~~" The applause was extremely enthusiastic.
"Nubi!"
"Amazing!!"
All the audience present gave a standing ovation and applauded Han Jue!
Han Jue was neither complacent nor panicked, just as if he had stepped off the stage, his face was indifferent, and his steps were steady, as if he had slipped down a circle and came back again.
After Han Jue took his seat, the applause continued, and the host didn't rush at all, just watching Han Jue with everyone.
Although Han Jue was only wearing a white shirt and jeans, which was a very simple match, the audience felt that this person was very different from other artists and guests. not open.
————
(It’s normal to say it’s not funny. Your jokes are not different from ordinary people. Don’t worry. Besides, your jokes are very personal. Let’s understand each other.)
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