This Star is Legal But Sick

 Chapter 664 You are so talented! (Two chapters in one)

This is just like the news headline party.

But at this moment, Uncle Kurotsuchi suddenly stood up and walked outside, the smile on his face disappeared.

Just the way Kurotsuchi walks reminds netizens of Tom from Tom and Jerry.

Baiyun hurriedly called to Kurotsuchi.

Kurotsuchi said angrily: "Why is your mouth like a waistband of cotton pants, so why is it so loose?"

At this moment, Baiyun didn't realize the seriousness of the problem.

But Kurotsuchi said nervously: "You said that our rooster lays eggs, are we the only ones who know about it? My son and daughter-in-law don't know about it. Why did you come here to say it?"

Bai Yun muttered: "What are you afraid of?"

Kurotsuchi's expression was distorted and he said loudly: "What are you afraid of? What are you afraid of! Our domestic rooster has laid eggs. Doesn't that mean I'm pregnant?"

For a moment, the audience burst into applause.

The director also switched the picture of the auditorium.

The reason why the reaction was so great has something to do with the sketch "The Most Beautiful of You".

The audience was so uncomfortable. Now that such a good sketch came out, it felt even funnier.

In the audience, Zhu Lingxiang and the other actors did not leave. Instead, they sat down in the guest seats to watch the party.

Hearing the cheers and applause from behind, I felt quite uncomfortable.

The audience was almost asleep when they were performing just now, and there was no such reaction at all.

The skit continues.

Kurotsuchi wanted to leave in anger, but Baiyun counted to three and forced him back.

As soon as Heitu came back, he said to Xu Ye: "Comrade Xu, I'm not afraid of making you laugh. Your aunt, we two have spent our lives trying to get two books out. Now we owe the publisher 20,000 yuan. We've got summons in the morning." ”

Seeing the quarrel between Bai Yun and Heitu, Xu Ye took out 20,000 yuan in cash from his pocket and said with a smile: "Uncle, come on, there are 20,000 yuan here, I took pictures here."

Kurotsuchi's voice, who was arguing with Baiyun, suddenly became quieter.

Just as he was about to say something, Xu Ye patted the money, and Heitu's voice became quieter.

In this section, Kurotsuchi's acting skills exploded.

He slowly turned around and pretended not to care, but his eyes fell on the money and asked, "What do you mean?"

This reaction made the audience laugh like crazy.

"You can't give up money just to save face!"

"The uncle's hands are already shaking with excitement!"

"I can lay eggs, but I have to pay extra!"

Xu Ye said seriously: "I don't plan to develop this egg-laying rooster. This is an advance payment of 20,000 yuan."

Kurotsuchi asked: "For us?"

Xu Ye pressed his hand on the money: "No, it doesn't belong to the two elders yet. I will ask questions later. You have to cooperate. If you cooperate well, I might even add more money."

Kurotsuchi's hand unconsciously touched the money, and he said with a smile: "Cooperate as you ask."

Baiyun also started to growl.

"Is it reliable?"

Kurotsuchi said: "Reliable!"

"Move over."

Baiyun pushed Kurotsuchi aside and sat in front.

The sketch also got to the point.

Xu Ye asked: "Uncle, aunt, when did our rooster start laying eggs?"

Bai Yun said seriously: "I can't answer the specific time. You can log on to my blog Sanda Bu Liu Blog Bai Yun Piaopiao to Kangmu."

Xu Ye smiled and said, "Auntie has her own blog."

Kurotsuchi complained: "Celebrities are all mean."

By the way, the irony has arrived.

There was some laughter, but only the audience laughed, and none of the celebrity guests could laugh.

"How dare you say that!"

"That's a good statement!"

"The dean's sarcastic skills are still first-rate."

The audience was also discussing on the barrage.

But what they don't know is that this sentence is just the beginning.

Next, it’s time to turn on all the firepower.

Xu Ye on the stage was very serious. He said seriously: "Uncle, please recall carefully. Are there any signs before this rooster lays eggs?"

Kurotsuchi said subconsciously: "There are no signs."

Halfway through, he saw Bai Yun reveal the 20,000 yuan in front of him. Kurotsuchi's tone changed instantly: "That's impossible."

Kurotsuchi started to make up the scene.

"That chicken was very conflicted at that time."

The whole audience burst into laughter again.

Comedy director Yang Baoyin also watched the Spring Festival Gala at home.

After learning that Xu Ye prepared a sketch book for the Spring Festival Gala, Yang Baoyin paid special attention to it.

After "Help or Not" came out, Yang Baoyin didn't feel anything bad yet.

In his opinion, he could also write this skit, which is why the reversal at the end is interesting.

But this "Planning" has a different feeling from the other sketches in the Spring Festival Gala from the beginning.

The theme is also a theme that has never been seen before.

Yang Baoyin couldn't even think of how it would unfold next.

At this time, Kurotsuchi continued: "It's also very depressing. Think about it, think about it, a rooster, it has to lay eggs, it has to do the work that is not its job."

When this line came out, Yang Baoyin's expression froze.

He felt that this sentence had a deeper meaning, but for a while he couldn't feel that it was sarcastic.

Kurotsuchi continued: "Isn't it a shame? Is it a shame? Is it a chicken? What will colleagues think of it? How will chickens think of it? How will ducks think of it? How will geese think of it? How will it work in the literary and art world in the future?"

As soon as the words fell, the atmosphere at the scene exploded.

The audience was almost applauding.

At this moment, everyone understood what they were talking about.

"How dare you say that!"

"I've wanted to say this for a long time. Everyone in today's literary and art circles doesn't do their job well. They all want to make money across borders, especially popular celebrities!"

"You can go do other business, but you have to be really good at it!"

"I remember the skit I just did. If you can't do a skit, don't do it!"

The audience has long been dissatisfied with the current entertainment industry.

Now that I say it directly on the Spring Festival Gala, everyone feels quite happy.

Yang Baoyin stared at the TV blankly and said, "How dare he!"

At this time, Baiyun reminded: "Chicken Realm."

Kurotsuchi followed suit and said, "No, in the chicken world, not the chicken world, but the poultry world, how can we get along, right?"

The laughter that had not disappeared from the audience sounded again.

The word chicken world is very connotative.

However, the group of traffic celebrities sitting in the audience were a little embarrassed and couldn't laugh.

Isn't it obvious that he is scolding them?

Many celebrities said viciously: "Xu Ye, you are a thief!"

Kurotsuchi continued: "In the past, it was better than these little hens. Isn't it sad? And when it was a rooster, the chickens hatched by stepping on the eggs have grown up. How do you call it?"

"Call me daddy? No, call me mommy? That's not right either. Call me auntie, and it's even more wrong. But if you have an egg, you have to lay it. If you don't lay it, it will panic."

When Kurotsuchi spoke, Baiyun looked anxious.

After all, what Kurotsuchi said was too harsh.

Before Kurotsuchi finished speaking, Baiyun said: "So it has firmed up its belief that it will lay its own eggs and let others talk about it."

The whole audience was laughing crazy.

"The dean is really awesome. He can hold back his laughter even when he's on stage!"

"I laughed so much that my stomach hurt."

"My son also laughed so much that his stomach hurt just now."

After Kurotsuchi started speaking, the entire audience was already attracted by the skit.

In a certain village.

A child held a few fireworks in his hand and planned to go out to set them off.

As a result, Kurotsuchi started talking as soon as he reached the door.

He stood directly in the doorway, his eyes fixed on the TV.

It looked like he couldn't leave at all.

The adult next to me said, "Aren't you going to set off cannons?"

“I’ll show you this skit after watching it!”

The child put down the cannon, returned to the sofa and sat down, still watching the TV intently.

Xu Ye asked again where the egg was laid.

Kurotsuchi started editing on the spot again.

"Where did it go? It was thinking, where did it go?"

Uncle Kurotsuchi has already started walking.

"Pia, pia, pia, it was wandering, it was wandering and thinking, and it came to the chicken coop and was too embarrassed to get down."

"It wandered off again. Where was it going? It came to the duck stand and was too embarrassed to get off."

"Where is it going? If it doesn't go down, it won't work anymore. I can't hold it in anymore. If it falls, it will all leak out."

Mo Xincheng's acting skills were so great in this section that many children thought it was made up on the spot.

Kurotsuchi obviously couldn't make it up, so he asked Baiyun.

Bai Yun said directly: "Kenhouse!"

The couple had a look of victory on their faces, and they slapped each other back.

Kurotsuchi said with a smile on his face: "Get out of the doghouse."

Xu Ye asked: "Who discovered it?"

Kurotsuchi blurted out: "He's a paparazzi."

Baiyun: "As soon as the paparazzi found out, all the chickens, ducks, geese, dogs and cats in the county knew about it the next day."

For a moment, the audience burst into laughter.

I no longer laugh until my stomach hurts.

"Dean, you really hold a grudge, you still remember the paparazzi thing!"

"I remember that the paparazzi didn't take advantage of you in the end, right?"

"I really couldn't hold myself back during this part, it made me laugh so hard."

"I'm a paparazzi, I can't laugh."

This is no longer sarcasm, this is explicit scolding.

Yang Baoyin was stunned when he heard this.

Aren't you afraid of offending the paparazzi by saying this?

He then thought about it, Xu Ye really wasn't afraid of offending the paparazzi.

As for the two seniors, Mo Xincheng and Shi Peijuan, they are not afraid of offending the paparazzi.

But high energy is far from over.

Bai Yun continued: "Our chicken became a famous chicken overnight."

"That guy walked past my chicken and stood tall with his chest raised and his head high."

Baiyun took a step forward and started walking.

Everyone couldn't stop laughing when they saw the way she walked.

"Since I laid this rooster's egg, the walkway has changed."

Baiyun continued to imitate.

Bai Yun continued: "I saw what the paw was doing when it was placed on the ground. I took a closer look and figured it out. I'm practicing my signature."

The laughter never stopped.

But the expression on Zhu Lingxiang's face became increasingly embarrassing.

Everyone just felt like they were sitting on pins and needles while sitting on the chairs.

If they had known the content of this skit, they would never have sat in the audience.

They also had to clap along with everyone and force themselves to smile.

After all, if you don't applaud, it will be really embarrassing if the camera comes over. You will be on the trending search tomorrow, but you will only be scolded on the trending search.

Zhu Lingxiang said in his heart: "Killing people is heartbreaking!"

On the stage, Xu Ye said happily: "It's so well said, so wonderful."

He then asked where the eggs laid by the rooster were now. After learning that they were eaten by Uncle Kurotsuchi, Xu Ye asked about his reaction after eating them.

Kurotsuchi said subconsciously: "No reaction at all, just like a normal egg."

Xu Ye said sternly: "Uncle, you are not cooperating now. How can you say that? This cannot be the same as eating ordinary eggs. You cannot say that it is a cure-all for all diseases. At least you must have some curative effect."

As soon as Xu Ye picked up the 20,000 yuan, Bai Yun became anxious. After the filming resumed, Bai Yun said seriously: "Many elderly people are troubled by the sequelae of cerebral thrombosis. My wife suffered from cerebral thrombosis last year. Before he ate rooster eggs, his walk looked like this."

Bai Yun turned around and said to Kurotsuchi: "You should learn from Wu Laoer's walk. Hurry up, you have a cerebral thrombosis."

Soon, Kurotsuchi took a few steps. He straightened one leg and walked forward with the other. His movements were very funny.

When Bai Yun asked Kurotsuchi to act out what he would do after eating a male egg, Kurotsuchi fell to the ground and quit.

Kurotsuchi felt that this was a lie and was unwilling to act.

But in Baiyun's opinion, this is not a lie, nor is it selling fake medicine.

Bai Yun warned: "Xiao Xu, go back and play it backwards. You always fall before eating the eggs. You can leave after eating. That's all."

Another piece of baggage was thrown out.

At this time, a sentence floated over the barrage in the live broadcast room.

"Does this scene seem familiar to you?"

"I want to ask, why can this audience watch a skit on stage?"

"I watched the two teachers acting the whole time, and I almost forgot about the dean."

"I feel like I can play the role of the dean if it were me."

The patients at Huohua Hospital began to joke.

There was no way, they had seen this scene too many times.

After this section was over, Bai Yun went to get the food, and Heitu and Xu Ye started chatting while drinking.

Heitu's first sentence was: "Xu Ce is rebelling."

Xu Ye hurriedly reminded: "It's not inciting rebellion, it's planning."

While chatting, Baiyun brought up a pot of chicken.

Xu Ye and Heitu started drinking and eating at the same time.

It’s not fake eating, it’s real eating.

Netizens thought of Zhu Lingxiang who just pretended to eat, and whipped the corpse again in the barrage.

There is no harm without comparison.

Beijing.

Hu Jinping's home.

He is also watching the Spring Festival Gala with his family.

Hu Jinping's son is in his third year of college this year, majoring in film and television.

When my son saw this, he asked, "Dad, can't the Spring Festival Gala skit end like this?"

Hu Jinping smiled and said: "That's for sure. The skits in the Spring Festival Gala must be positive. This is the main premise. The Spring Festival Gala is a time for family fun. No matter how bad the program is, it cannot spread bad values."

His son frowned and said, "But I don't know how to turn around next. Dad, can you think of it?"

The smile on Hu Jinping's face disappeared instantly, and he said in his heart: "I know nothing!"

He actually had a few ideas in his mind, but he felt that his ideas were cliche and not subtle enough.

Obviously, Xu Ye's design in the sketch will never fall into the cliché.

The reversal in "To Help or Not to Help" is something that no one expected.

"Planning" has already touched on the topic, and its core is to satirize the current hype and chaos in all walks of life.

The turning point is coming soon.

Hu Jinping didn't want to appear incompetent in front of his son, so he said calmly: "You tell me what you think first. Say whatever you want, and I'll listen."

At this time, Xu Ye had signed a contract with Aunt Baiyun.

If Aunt Baiyun breaches the contract, she will have to pay double compensation. Baiyun signed the contract without hesitation.

Later, Xu Ye asked Bai Yun to record an advertisement.

High energy ahead!

Baiyun said while making movements: "The egg-laying rooster, the fighter among roosters, Oye!"

"Then I'll give you the side part for you to cut."

The audience's emotions were instantly lifted up again.

Just as Bai Yun continued to speak, Uncle Kurotsuchi walked over with a nervous look on his face.

Kurotsuchi pulled Baiyun aside.

Obviously, something is wrong and a plot twist is coming.

Kurotsuchi said: "It's over, the chicken is gone."

Baiyun: "Where have you gone?"

Kurotsuchi frowned and said, "My daughter-in-law stewed it, so just eat that."

In an instant, Baiyun was stunned.

Hu Jinping and his son were also stunned while watching the TV.

The turn was beyond their expectations.

"The chickens are dead, so we have to pay for it!" Hu Jinping said.

Baiyun owed the publishing house 20,000 yuan before, and he had to pay another 40,000 yuan, for a total of 60,000 yuan.

They simply can't afford to pay.

In Hu Jinping's view, this was a dead end. He couldn't think of a way to break it, let alone show it on the Spring Festival Gala stage.

Hu Jinping's son said: "Dad, how will this develop in the future?"

Hu Jinping didn't know what to do and said, "See for yourself!"

Even they couldn't imagine it, let alone the audience.

The audience's curiosity was aroused again.

Baiyun had already started crying, and with Kurotsuchi's comfort, she managed to calm down.

Then it was time for Kurotsuchi to perform.

Heitu pulled Baiyun and walked over. Xu Ye asked, "Auntie was fine just now. What's wrong?"

Kurotsuchi said calmly: "It's over. Tell me, I felt bad when I heard that the rooster was taken away."

Kurotsuchi said to Baiyun again: "Why are you crying? Come sit here and cooperate."

Bai Yun hummed.

As soon as Heitu came up, he put the money in front of Xu Ye.

Xu Ye smiled and said: "Uncle, you can't make this joke. If you break the contract, you will have to refund the money. Instead of refunding 20,000 yuan, you will have to double it and get 40,000 yuan, okay?"

Baiyun cried out like a rooster.

Kurotsuchi also complained: "Why are you still crowing? You're still doing it."

Xu Ye asked while gnawing on the chicken, "Uncle, why didn't you bring the chicken?"

Bai Yun said sadly: "I can't hold you."

Xu Ye: "Why?"

Kurotsuchi: "I'm taking a nap."

Bai Yun's eyes changed.

You really dare to say that.

Hu Jinping did not dare to waste a second for fear of missing some key information.

He just wanted to see how Kurotsuchi would come back round.

Xu Ye asked doubtfully: "Chicken takes a nap?"

Kurotsuchi explained seriously: "This chicken lays eggs and crows. It does both. It's tired."

Kurotsuchi immediately changed the subject over a drink and asked again: "Do you think this chicken is so valuable? Don't pay for it."

Xu Ye laughed and said: "Uncle, let me tell you the truth. If this chicken is left in your hands, it won't be worth a penny. It's worthless. You leave it to me. I'll speculate it. After the speculation is over, it's worth money." ”

Kurotsuchi said calmly: "What about when the stew is finished?"

Xu Ye was stunned for a moment and said, "That's worth money."

The audience laughed again, everyone already understood Kurotsuchi's thoughts.

Heitu immediately became energetic after hearing Xu Ye say it was valuable.

"This is this chicken. It is a famous chicken. No matter whether it is alive or dead, even if the meat is stewed, it is still valuable."

Bai Yun's eyes grew brighter and brighter as he listened. After Kurotsuchi finished speaking, Bai Yun said directly: "You are so talented!"

In the live broadcast room, the barrage scrolled rapidly.

"I'm really coming back!"

"This is so talented!"

"What kind of brain circuit is this!"

This turn of events completely exceeded everyone's expectations.

At this time, Kurotsuchi transformed into a big liar, pointed at the chicken on the table and said: "For example, if you take that chicken now, how much does it cost to eat one piece?"

Xu Ye picked up a piece of chicken and said, "It's just this piece. If you don't pay two thousand yuan, you have no right to eat it."

"Where's the chicken heart?"

"four thousand."

"Where's the chicken liver?"

"Six thousand."

“Where are the chicken kidneys?”

"Eight thousand."

Kurotsuchi turned to Baiyun and said, "That's enough."

Bai Yun shouted excitedly: "So talented!"

The acting skills of the two veteran actors are soaring and full of details.

Hu Jinping and his son looked at each other.

Both of them were also shocked by the turn of the plot.

They can't think of this method even if they think about it.

"That's awesome!" Hu Jinping exclaimed.

The son asked: "Dad, do you think you can write this kind of sketch?"

Hu Jinping said angrily: "You are still laughing at me. Not many people can write it, let alone me."

After seeing this, Yang Baoyin also realized the level of this sketch.

The rhythm script actor is almost impeccable.

"To Help or Not to Help" is still a bit green, and is prepared for young actors like Zheng Yu and Xu Mei.

"Planning" is a very mature work.

And for him, it is difficult to write in this life.

On the stage, Heitu greeted Xu Ye to continue eating meat.

Xu Ye quickly said: "Auntie, uncle, you guys should eat too, don't just eat it for me."

While Heitu served Xu Ye some meat, he said, "We can't afford it."

The whole place burst into laughter again.

After Xu Ye took a few bites, he said, "Uncle, you can't drink any more. No matter what, you have to let me take this chicken away in a while."

Heitu put the wine glass in front of Xu Ye and said slowly: "I can't carry you away, but you can take it away."

Xu Ye raised his head with confusion on his face.

Kurotsuchi said calmly: "To tell you the truth, the chicken you asked for was stewed by my daughter-in-law, and this is what you eat. However, the method is different according to your request. You said it was stir-fried, but we stewed it. "

"You have already decided the price. This is the situation. If you want to keep the 20,000 yuan, you can keep it. If you don't want to keep it, you can take it. If you are willing to eat a meal of 20,000 yuan, you can take it all away. I haven't moved a piece. , what do you think?"

Baiyun was so excited that he kissed Kurotsuchi directly on the face.

"You are so talented!"

This is the third time this sentence has appeared tonight.

Not to mention Bai Yun, all the viewers who are watching this sketch also have this sentence in their hearts.

"The dean is already confused."

"This seems to be the first time I've seen the dean confused."

"Uncle Kurotsuchi is so talented, he can turn this around!"

The audience was also happy at this moment.

In this sketch, the character played by Xu Ye is a villain-like character. Naturally, everyone wants to see the villain defeated.

At this time, Xu Ye recovered from his confusion. He quickly stood up and said: "Uncle and aunt, please don't move. Please cooperate. I can't smash this chicken into my hand."

Xu Ye picked up the pot of chicken and said to the camera: "People tend to be short-sighted when they get angry. I have always been short-sighted in the past. Ever since I ate the meat of this egg-laying rooster, hey, I have become smarter. Eat a piece of meat." It’s only 20,000 yuan, so worth it!”

Kurotsuchi and Baiyun said in unison: "You are so talented!"

The three of them bowed to the audience together, and the skit ended.

The Spring Festival Gala studio was filled with deafening applause and cheers.

There is no need to fake it, just collect the sound from the scene directly.

What surprised netizens the most was that the skit ended up being of no value.

In short, just be happy and that's it.

However, the focus of the patients at Huohua Hospital is obviously different from that of other normal people.

Han Ran directly posted a Weibo message and also gave Xu Ye a thumbs up.

The content of her Weibo is: "Dean, you got that camera on the stage, are you recording it?"

(End of chapter)