Yellow hair can also have a husband-chasing crematorium

The Duchess' greatest influence on her was not the abuse, but the destruction of the sanctuary-like comfort that Langdon had brought her.

Lilyka hated this.

Later, because of his hatred for the Duchess, seeing similar emotions in Langdon's eyes, he would reflexively arouse killing intent, which can be regarded as a vicious circle in a certain sense.

Lilica didn't know when she would be completely relieved, so she could only drink poison to quench her thirst by making Langdon hate her.

In contrast, Helena is actually very happy.

Helena has always been immersed in the beautiful dream that the Duchess gave her. She has no doubts about what she has done. With the paranoid genes inherited from her ancestors, no matter what she encounters, she can find a very reasonable explanation for her.

Even the Duchess probably couldn't imagine that Helena could still firmly believe in her statement.

Langdon hasn't told Helena the truth until now, because he thinks it's hopeless anyway, why don't he just let Helena continue to immerse herself in her dream and not wake up?

So tender.

Even at this time, he still wanted to leave room for Helena to live a normal life.

But she is different.

Lilica didn't have any pity for Helena, and was even a little jealous that Helena could live so happily in her own world without hearing the lightning and thunder outside, and despised Helena for being able to be with her under such good conditions. Langdon made such a fuss.

Now that Langdon knew what the Duchess was doing, she had no qualms.

Lilica said bluntly: "The Duchess' teachings to you are not really good for Langdon, she just wants to torture Langdon through you."

"... Lilica, I think maybe you should go for treatment... Listen to what you're talking about."

Helena looked at Lilica with an incomprehensible expression: "Langdon is Mother's child! What good does Mother do?"

"Well, because she hates Langdon?"

"No proof." Helena showed a sullen expression, showing an unwelcome attitude, "Thank you for sending me back, but it's late now, this is my room, you should leave, Lilica."

"Actually, you also have feelings." Lilica didn't move, still sitting on the sofa, "You once asked me why it seemed that the Duchess's attitude towards Langdon seemed to be the same as that of you, or even the guest's children... …do you remember?"

At that time, Helena had just joined the Stuart family. At first, she was very grateful for the duchess's kind attitude towards her, thinking that the duchess treated her adopted daughter and her parents equally, but she soon realized that something was wrong.

At that time, because Flora was a nanny's child and grew up with Langdon, she was a bit out of tune with them. It was impossible for Helena to ask the servants of the Stuart family. The "peer" Lilica of Duchess Grace.

Lilyka replied at the time that it was indeed so.

This matter was too early, Helena thought she had forgotten it, but when Lilica mentioned it, she recalled it almost instantly.

Waves of uneasiness surged again, and Helena straightened her back unconsciously, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and subconsciously assumed a defensive posture.

"Is this what you call evidence? That's just because I didn't learn it at the time. In fact, I learned later that raising children by nobles is very different from raising children by commoners. Mother doesn't even see Langdon very much. So it's normal to be close."

However, once this matter was mentioned, another memory couldn't help reappearing in Helena's mind.

The mother who once frightened Langdon when he was a child, who smashed wantonly in the room...

【"I shouldn't...! If it wasn't for him... I don't even want to—"】

Helena's forehead was throbbing, she raised her hand and rubbed it: "I don't know what you want to express by saying this now, but Mother really loves Langdon, otherwise she wouldn't work so hard to train me, okay Let me help him..."

"Really?" said Lilica, "but when the Duchess was in front of me, she said it would have been better if Langdon hadn't been born."

"————?!"

For an instant, Helena's brain fell into a blank, and the moment she regained consciousness, panic and anger filled her heart at the same time.

Impossible, how could my lord mother say such a thing.

Lilica's lies are getting more and more outrageous, there is no need to continue listening, drive her away quickly...

But before Helena could say the words to drive away the guest again, Lilica said calmly.

"Langdon also knows about this. He should have expressed to you that you should not obey the Duchess too much, right?"

Helena was stunned: "Langdon... also knows?"

Indeed, when Langdon heard her talking about his mother recently, his attitude was a little subtle. During this quarrel, he also said, "I advise you to believe less in what your mother says, she simply..." - nothing at all ?

What's wrong, mother?

Didn't Lilica lie to her?

However, if Mother hated Langdon so much that she wished he would be born, why did she keep saying it was for Langdon when teaching her?

For so many years, she has been adhering to her mother's teachings. Even if she is hated by Langdon, she still thinks it is worth it, because she has to repay her mother and protect the ignorant Langdon...

If the mother is wrong, then she, is she also wrong?

Everything she gave, everything she endured...was it meaningless?

Helena felt as if all the nerves in her whole body were directly exposed to the flames, and felt a maddening pain.

No, no, no!

Maybe Lilica and Langdon both misunderstood something, how could the mother be such a person? !

Her dedication must be meaningful, even if Langdon hates her, as long as it is for that meaning, she is willing, this meaning must not be misinterpreted by anyone, otherwise, she—

"By the way, the old housekeeper wrote me a letter and I just received it today. You can read it too."

Lilica took out a letter from her arms and threw it lightly: "If you are afraid, it doesn't matter if you don't read it."

Helena froze in place for a long time, finally picked up the letter and read it slowly.

Following the old butler's description to Lilica of what he had told Langdon, Helena's blurred memory, like the fog gradually fading on a mirror, became clearer.

That's right, on that night, what Mother said was...

【"I shouldn't have given birth to him...! If he didn't insist on me having a baby... I don't even want to—"】

Ahhh...

Don't tell me... God!Please, I- don't want to know this!

The defense of Helena's mind was finally penetrated by the correct memory.

The endless pain gradually slowed down her soul which was finally exposed.

The lies she once firmly believed in, her unworthy patience, the treasures she lost...all of them turned into remorse at this moment, watering the thorny forest entangled in her soul.

After waking up from a dream, shouldn't it be reality?

But if reality is a nightmare...

Helena, there is nowhere to run.

[ps: I was put on the bed by my family to recuperate, and now I can finally code... try to add more at night!Anyway, I owe 3 additional changes, and there are still half a month left!In time! 】

34. Consequences of wrong means and ends (3k)

Helena was still reading the letter.

But her eyesight was blurred, her breath was short of breath, her fingers trembled so much that she could hardly hold the thin pages, and her attention was clearly no longer on the letter.

"No, no... It shouldn't be like this... There must be a mistake somewhere...! This is fake..."

She muttered to herself, flipping through the letter paper emotionally, but her eyes were wandering, obviously she didn't see anything at all.

Lilyka spoke in a steady voice as usual.

"If you really thought that, it wouldn't be the reaction now."

Instead, she will put on an attitude of "whatever you say, I won't believe it anyway", sneering and using her own logic to distort other people's speeches.

Helena's confidence in what she believes is enough to allow her to face all attacks without wavering.

And what Lilica is doing now is to destroy the self-confidence that supports Helena.

How ironic that it is the duchess who destroyed her "refuge" that made Helena so confident and determined.

Helena is both the victim and the Duchess' spiritual successor.

So, now after the Duchess's death, it is only natural that her revenge falls on Helena, right?

Lilica had let Helena hurt Langdon for two years in order to make Langdon hate her—now, since there was no need to hide it, she didn't intend to put up with Helena any longer.

Her sharp words were like sharp swords, piercing through Helena's defenses again and again until she accepted the reality.

"Didn't you ask why my wounds haven't healed? Because the duchess often adds new wounds to me, but my healing ability is different from yours, so you didn't see it."

That's why, after Lilica left Stuart's house, those scars disappeared...

"What the Duchess did to me was actually what she wanted to do to Langdon the most... Well, I am very happy to bear this for Langdon, but what the Duchess asked you to do were all things that hurt Langdon oh?"

But she didn't bear anything for Langdon like Lilica, and instead became the one who hurt Langdon.

"Even Langdon doesn't want to tolerate you anymore. I admire you for doing this, Helena—if you hadn't insisted on refusing treatment, Langdon would still coax you patiently now. Obviously you really have Isn't it sick?"

Enough, enough, stop talking——

Helena's whole body was cold, as if she had fallen into a nightmare she couldn't break free from. Lilica's voice kept stirring her nerves, making every breath she took was as painful as being pricked by countless needles.

But she didn't even have the strength to refute, just supporting herself to stand where she was, had exhausted all her strength.

Even though she was standing on the flat ground, Helena felt as if her surroundings were constantly collapsing. The fear of being alone and helpless almost negated the panic of her entire life. It mixed and ignited like strong wine, gradually eroding the sense of security she depended on for survival. Burn out.

Even following Lilica's words, countless memories that Helena wanted or didn't want flooded in.

She remembered Langdon's stubborn and hurt eyes when she misunderstood Langdon because of other people's testimony.

At that time, Langdon would still call her sister, and would try to persuade her to become the older sister who cared about him, believed in him, could restrain her desire to control, and was indeed working hard to support the family and share his worries.

But she lived up to his expectations.

So he just called her "Helena."

She also remembered that she had just arrived at Stuart's house and tried to establish a good relationship with Lilica who was in a similar situation to herself. After being ignored by Lilica, she hid quietly and cried, but Langdon found her.

Langdon's small, warm hands took her, pulled her out of the shadowy corner, and slipped her a delicious candy.

"Don't cry, I will be with you, don't be sad... Huh? Lost? Then hold my hand and don't let go... Don't worry, I will catch you well."

The sincere and worried face of the child was replaced by the cold and relieved smile of the young man.

"Not only did I give up the treatment, I also gave up on you... You can be happy now, Helena....Smile?"

Ahhh...

How could you be happy!How could it be possible to laugh!

The more she recalled the beautiful past, the more Helena could not accept the present.

She was the first to let go of those warm hands, and persistently walked on the wrong path. He even tried to save her, but she didn't seize the last chance, but pushed him further away!

It was also because she failed to be a good older sister first, and was easily influenced by the words of the deceased, and was also fed up by Langdon's tolerance. His affection and trust!

The person who illuminated her gloomy childhood, supported her to learn the heavy and depressing schoolwork well, and let her face ridicule and difficulties without regretting being adopted by the Stuart family—but he must be regretting being so kind to her. ?

She thought that everything she did was for Langdon's good, but Langdon didn't need her self-righteousness...

Now, she has been able to admit the reality.

That kid was actually very smart since he was a child.

That's why she was so anxious, worried that Langdon didn't need her, so she could only comfort herself with the words of her mother, and found evidence from clues that "Langdon needs someone to discipline" to establish her usefulness.

... Lilica's accusation against her is correct, she is indeed using Lilica to maintain her shaky value that will evaporate like dew once the truth is revealed.

Langdon didn't need her...

Langdon never needed her, she needed Langdon.

The once warm and ordinary days made her feel happy, but at the same time deeply afraid.

She was terrified that Langdon would leave her and withdraw his tenderness from her.

Because things bestowed by others may also be taken back for no reason. Only what you get with your own hands and can be controlled in your own hands can guarantee that there will be no accidents.

It was her idea that was used by the Duchess.

All the inversion of right and wrong, all the confusion of right and wrong, all stemmed from her anxiety and her expectation that Langdon needed her.

But she got the means and purpose wrong, and even forgot her true thoughts, so that she fell to this end.

Helena's tears fell silently, wetting a few words on the letter paper, and her attention subconsciously focused on it.

【"Including the fact that the old lady once said that she hoped that Master Langdon would die—"】