Self-guided daily life after rebirth

"gentle?"

Su Tong couldn't help laughing.

What the hell is this description.

In two lifetimes, it was the first time she had heard someone say that she was gentle - obviously she had suffered a great feud and wished to take revenge on the bachelors in society, and usually had almost no chance of women, how could she deserve to be called "gentle"?

If she could be gentle, sister Lin might be able to pull out weeping willows.

So she shook her head and asserted:

"I don't think I'm gentle. I just hesitated just because I haven't considered whether it is more beneficial to continue to maintain that relationship or to cut it off... I am a pure mercenary."

Su Tong wisely did not choose to argue with her.

Some things are enough to be understood in the heart, but it is not good to say them out - not to mention that in the current situation, there are some things that she would not admit even if she said them out.

The eldest lady... is also a weird person.

Su Tong sighed in his heart.

After doing so many things for him, and because of Li Qingyuan's soft-hearted expression, he didn't make up his mind to cut off contact. If such a person is not gentle, I'm afraid there are not many gentle people in this world, right?

It just seems that the eldest lady has not realized the slightest bit.

Even though she is usually very smart and close to a monster, it is surprising that the eldest lady is so slow in this respect?

Su Tong wanted to laugh -- but the eldest lady's eyes had already drifted over.

Subconsciously, he sat up with his chest up and his head up.

The eldest lady didn't care, and even deliberately skipped the discussion just now, and started a new topic:

"After attending this banquet, how do you feel now?"

"It feels... okay."

"What does it feel like?"

"I can't tell..."

Su Tong raised his head, recalling everything he witnessed at the banquet with a blank expression.

Resplendent, feasting, noisy voices, and well-dressed adults shuttle back and forth with wine glasses, jointly constructing a fog-like illusory dreamland.

But it doesn't feel real.

Even if you are in it, you still feel that everything is nothingness, you can see the bright lights when you look up, and you feel dizzy due to swelling in your head. Only when your eyes pass by the eldest lady occasionally can you get a temporary respite from the fleeting figure .

That is the oppressive feeling that is everywhere.

Su Tong was out of breath during the banquet, and now that he thinks about it, he probably finally understands why.

"Probably because of inferiority."

The boy said softly:

"Everyone is glamorous and successful, and there are girls with beautiful make-up and boys who can pull out the keys to the sports car - only I am not, I am a poor boy, I have no money or a car, I have no A successful career does not have a beautiful wife... In a world where everyone is very successful, maybe an unsuccessful person like me will become an alien who doesn't fit in?"

He said, but his expression was not sad, but very calm, even as if he was telling someone else's story:

"If I have to talk about how I feel about participating in this banquet... maybe inferiority complex is the only feeling I have."

[To be continued]

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dizzy

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Chapter 90

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Maybe Su Tong has always had low self-esteem.

He can't compare to Tang Yanhua in study, he's not as handsome as Zhao Daixiao in appearance, he can't even compare to his family friend Cao Bin in shameless, single-parent family, poor social skills, he simply gives up on himself...

People's good and bad are all compared, so there is no harm without comparison.

And this contrast is even stronger in this upper-class banquet - no family background, no wealth, no ability, compared with those successful people, it seems to be at the extremes.

Of course he has low self-esteem.

Su Tong naturally thought of this.

Or that was the purpose of her bringing Su Tong to this dinner from the very beginning - to let him recognize himself.

"It's very important to be self-aware of yourself," she said. "Only when you understand the gap with others can you know where you are going."

And Su Tong nodded.

indeed.

Living in the ivory tower of the school, it is naturally impossible to see everything in the real upper class like today... When the surrounding environment is similar to yourself, it is easier to feel slack, thinking "everyone is the same anyway", and simply feel at ease and change. It's a salted fish waiting to die.

A stimulus is needed at this time.

Just like today.

Su Tong was silent for a moment, and finally raised his head to look into the eyes of the girl in front of him:

"Miss... do you want me to be one of those successful people?"

"nature."

Miss nods:

"That's the purpose of my coming to help you. Didn't you say it - this is my investment in you, and as an investor, of course, the bigger the return, the happier you will be."

"okay."

Su Tong also nodded.

It's just that the expression is a little strange.

"It turns out that I thought it would be fine to study hard, but it's just that in the future, I will still work for others in the future, and I may have an ordinary and beautiful life..."

He sighed:

"It's just that I didn't expect the goal you set for me, Miss, to be so far away...to become a master?"

"Of course," the eldest lady smiled, "If I help you and you still just want to be an ordinary wage earner, it would be too disappointing. Isn't it interesting to have a distant goal... "

As if whispering, she once again said the sentence she mentioned in front of Lao Su:

"... After all, our goal is the sea of ​​stars."

"The sea of ​​stars...?"

For some reason, Su Tong suddenly remembered that the eldest lady said that she likes the real starry sky.

When she said this, the eldest lady's expression was casual, it was probably just a casual sentence, but Su Tong remembered it very deeply... not many people have helped him in this way since childhood, so he remembers every kindness very clearly.

He didn't think that he could become a master in the eyes of the young lady, and he didn't have much thought about the "stars and seas" in the mouth of the young lady. After all, he thought he was just an ordinary person from the beginning to the end.

But Missy believes that he can do it.

But Missy bet he could do it.

He didn't like high society, didn't like the group of beasts in suits and dresses at the banquet, didn't like their hypocritical smiles and their mouths full of money and power.

But the eldest lady bet her treasure on him.

He didn't want to disappoint her.

Wang Xiaobo has a saying that is "When I cross everything that has fallen and fight for eternity, you are my military flag." At the first reading, I feel full of energy in the middle school, and it is hard to imagine that this is the one who wrote the trilogy of the times. The text written by Wang Xiaobo.

But now that I think about it, maybe this is the unique romance of literati-to fight for love and eternity, and to be an enemy of the world, it may sound very secondary, but how much courage does it require?

Su Tong didn't know.

Maybe sometimes even the so-called courage is not enough... To be able to make such an oath, it would be better to say that it is madness...or arrogance.

He subconsciously looked at the young lady beside him.

The eldest lady is gently arranging the dress on her body.

The girl's skin is plain white, the skin on the shoulders and neck is so white that it is almost glowing, her waist is slender, her whole body is small, she looks fragile and delicate.

Like the best Ru kiln moon white glazed porcelain.

Now that she is sitting quietly beside him, Su Tong only thinks that the world is actually very beautiful - just attended a dinner party that can only be attended by masters, and now the eldest lady is sitting next to him, she still believes in him, by the ear There was a late night wind blowing, and the last heat and worries in my heart were blown away.

All that remains is tranquility.

They didn't talk, and the atmosphere was very good.

Only Su Tong finished arranging her dress, then she realized again, turned her head to stare at the side face of the boy, tilted her head and asked:

"Hey, why didn't you talk all of a sudden?"

"...There is nothing to say."

Su Tong smiled wryly:

"Now that the goal and direction are set, the next thing we need to do is to work hard..."

"Not necessarily."

"……not necessarily?"

Su Tong was puzzled.

And the eldest lady rolled her eyes angrily:

"Knowing that hard work is not important, the important thing is how to work hard-you don't even know your own advantages and disadvantages, and you want to challenge to cross the earth on foot before you even learn how to walk?"

Su Tong could only laugh awkwardly.

Then meditate.

Speaking of which, what are his advantages over those rich second generations?

Wealth is certainly impossible.

Vision is not comparable.

Don't even think about connections...

and many more.

Su Tong's mood suddenly became strange.

He looked at the eldest lady, looking up and down with a strange expression.

Su Tong didn't understand what he meant, and was stared numb by the strange eyes, so she asked bluntly:

"I let you find your own strengths and weaknesses, what do you think I am doing?"

Su Tong scratched his head, as if he had something to hide, and finally struggled for a long time before finally saying slowly:

"No... I just thought of what my greatest advantage is."

"Huh? What is it?"

Su Tong was silent for a long time, and finally stretched out his finger, pointing directly at the girl.

"emmm?"

The eldest lady was puzzled, but she slowly recalled it again, raised her head, clenched her fist and beat her palm:

"Understood, what do you mean...I am your greatest advantage?"

Then I couldn't laugh or cry.

There is one thing to say and one thing to be sure.

According to the current situation, she is indeed Su Tong's greatest advantage - to be supported by a rich woman like her, to be a father and a mother after a lot of hard work, will not be able to become a master, so Su Tong might as well go find a piece of tofu to make himself Can be killed.

And Su Tong couldn't help being embarrassing:

"I can't help it, I'm a poor boy with no money or power, so I can only hug the thighs of a beautiful girl like you, miss..."

"You still have a little self-knowledge."