Yan Cigui

 Chapter 315 is definitely not a fluke (two updates in one)

 The leaves are swirling in the wind.

The heat that had been suffocating in the room had long since subsided, leaving a little chill instead.

Lin Yunyan looked at Xu Miao and comforted her softly: "It's all a dream."

 She does not want Mrs. Xu to end up going crazy again, and that is definitely not what Xu Jian wants to see.

To this end, the two of them made a lot of preparations in advance and achieved many results.

 Without Liu Jing and Liu Xun, it stands to reason that nothing could excite Mrs. Xu so much.

 However, deep down in her heart, Lin Yunyan inevitably felt heavy and depressed.

Mrs. Xu’s dream was very real. There was even a dream that she was familiar with.

 Xu Jian is sitting in a wheelchair.

 She has been pushing that wheelchair for so many years.

When the two of them escaped from the capital, Mrs. Xu's condition was not very good. When Liu Ping's grandmother secretly handed them money, she also mentioned that she was "exhausted mentally and physically", "she's going crazy", "my aunt and her mother-in-law" My mother’s family is running back and forth, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold on.”

Since then, only sporadic messages have been received.

 Very rough, just one sentence "crazy".

Lin Yunyan doesn’t know whether there is someone behind this “crazy” person who stabbed Liu Jing with scissors like in Mrs. Xu’s dream. If there is, then...

Is that still just a dream?

If this paragraph is not a dream, then what are the other scenes that Mrs. Xu dreamed about?

Lin Yunyan was not sure, but she couldn't find out the result even after chasing Mrs. Xu about this matter.

Not only could she not ask, but she had to comfort Mrs. Xu over and over again, telling her not to get into trouble.

 Xu Miao raised her hand and gently wiped the corners of her eyes.

Turning her head, she looked at the closed door behind her, thinking about Xu Jian's pain while being treated.

Perhaps the emotion was here, and perhaps the princess's usual kindness and gentleness made her willing to open up her conversation. She said many things that she had never said to anyone before.

Not for Ah Jian or Ah Ping, not for Grandma, not for Xun'er, and even less for Liu Jing.

“I am very contradictory sometimes,” Xu Miao spoke very slowly. It seemed that only by speaking slowly in this way could she suppress the turbulent ups and downs in her heart, “I have actually been confused all my life.”

“I want to go back to my childhood, when my mother was still alive, and spend more time with her, and let her spend more time with me. I want her to teach me a lot of things, instead of growing up alone.”

"I also thought about going back to before I got married. My master didn't save me, and I didn't marry him. I would marry someone my father is satisfied with and likes. My father really loves me."

 “But more often than not, I don’t want to change anything.”

"Before the master left Beijing, I told him that I have no regrets. I have no regrets in the past twenty years. I did not lie to him, nor to myself."

“If I hadn’t married him, how could I have Ah Jian, Xun’er and Ah Ping?”

"If I change my life, I will get something else, but I will lose three people, and I don't want to."

"My father may be satisfied with me marrying a son-in-law he likes, and he may like my other children, but I know that what he wants most is A Jian. A Jian is his lifelong pride and no one can replace him."

Lin Yunyan did not interrupt Mrs. Xu's words, but responded softly, indicating that she was listening carefully.

 She thought it would be a good idea to speak out.

Mrs. Xu’s heart felt lighter now that she had spoken out all these heavy thoughts.

“Moreover,” Mrs. Xu paused, curved her lips and smiled, her eyes already sparkling, “How can it be so easy to go back to the past?”

Lin Yunyan blinked.

 She has experience in this topic, but it is difficult for her to speak.

“No one guarantees that as long as you go back to the past, you can escape all pain, not even a Bodhisattva.”

“The road of life is too difficult, full of forks in the road. I’ve rounded one corner, but what about the next one? Isn’t it wrong?”

“I walked to a completely unfamiliar place and looked at the fork in the road that I had never been to before. Can I choose the right one? Maybe if I choose, I will choose another pain that I have never tasted.”

 “How many chances do I have to re-elect?”

“Even if I did, time and time again, would I really have the courage to try one road after another and endure the pain bit by bit?”

 It goes back and forth, endlessly.

Xu Miao didn't have that kind of opportunity and performance, but she knew that she might not be able to bear it.

The struggle in the trough is in the past. She can look back now because she has come through it.

If she walked through it again, she might really be as crazy as in the dream, right?

Lin Yunyan was stunned.

  She was experiencing Mrs. Xu’s emotions, but she had not thought about Mrs. Xu’s perspective.

  She has always been lucky. From now on, her choices are all right. She has overcome the previous obstacles step by step and is getting closer to her desired goal step by step.

 Is it because it has not reached the end and has not reflected the previous rights and wrongs?

 Or is it because she is not alone?

She and Xu Jian are walking this road again.

 But even so, it is still too lucky.

 Luckily, she has not experienced a "mistake" in more than a year, at least on the surface, a clear mistake has never happened.

 Is it a fluke?

Lin Yunyan can’t tell.

 Her heart was agitated, with many emotions intertwined together.

 She took a deep breath, which was difficult to describe in words, but she knew that at the deepest level of her emotions, it was by no means a fluke.

After Xu Miao said this, Lin Yunyan beside her stopped talking.

 She turned to look at her and found that the princess pursed her lips and frowned.

"Are you scared?" Xu Miao hurriedly asked her, "You blame me for saying that there is something and there is nothing. It's all random thoughts, but you took it into your heart."

Lin Yunyan laughed out loud when she heard this.

 She was usually the one who comforted Mrs. Xu, but now it was the other way around, and Mrs. Xu came to comfort her.

“I’m not scared,” Lin Yunyan said with a relaxed expression, “Even after hearing it roughly, I couldn’t help but wonder if I could bear it if failure and pain happened over and over again.

  Don’t think it’s just something you have and don’t have, I actually really like hearing these.

People of every age have different ideas. I often listen to the Empress Dowager and my grandmother talking about things, and I often listen to my sisters talk about things. My aunts love me very much, but they cannot and will not come to terms with such inner words. Tell me.

 My mother passed away early. I don’t know how a mother looks after her children. If you are willing to tell me, it is too late for me to be happy. "

Xu Miao held Lin Yunyan's hand tightly and choked up for a moment.

 She can completely understand the feeling of "losing her mother", and therefore feels even more sorry for Lin Yunyan.

She still has memories of getting along with her mother when she was a child, but the princess was too young at the time and doesn't remember anything.

 The memories of others belong to others after all, and are not as good as one ten millionth of those in a mother’s arms.

 Perhaps, it was precisely because of this true emotion that she was reluctant to part with her children.

 The emotions she conveyed to them were also the "reflections" she wanted from her late mother.

She enjoys all the sweet, sour and spicy food.

Perhaps, the princess will also experience this from her own children in the future.

 It’s just this realization that Mrs. Xu can’t explain now.

How can any elder start giving birth to a child before his wife has even entered the house?

 She does not hold the idea of ​​​​carrying on the family line, nor is she a boring and annoying person. As he was talking, the door behind him opened with a creak.

Lin Yunyan turned around when she heard the sound and saw Xu Jian coming out of the house.

 Xu Jian had already tidied up, and the injury to his right leg could not be seen under his robe. He just walked slower than usual when going down the steps. Shen Chen even stepped forward to help him.

When the two sides met, Xu Jian's eyes fell on Lin Yunyan and Xu Miao. It was obvious at a glance that both of them were in a low mood.

This is inevitable, and it’s strange to be happy.

However, after a few more glances, Xu Jian saw something meaningful in Lin Yunyan's eyes. It didn't look like she was holding back her anger, but she was thinking deeply.

 Something’s not quite right.

 When Lin Yunyan left the house earlier, she was not in this state. The two of them must have said something...

  It even spoke from the bottom of my heart.

Xu Jian was not sure for a moment, but felt that his mood was also much lower.

Lin Yunyan came over and asked him: "Just walk back to the front like this? Don't you want to sit in a sedan?"

 Xu Jian pursed her lower lip.

 with With Dr. Yue never saying he wouldn't let him go, he had gotten better just now, but things are different now.

Such a little thing is not worth turning into oil and pouring it on the fire for no reason.

“There is a sedan.” Xu Jian said and glanced at Shen Chen.

Shenchen is smart and hastily made arrangements.

Xu Miao looked at Lin Yunyan and then at Xu Jian, and couldn't help laughing.

She mentioned before that A Jian found it troublesome, so she couldn't keep persuading him, so she gave up.

Sure enough, one thing was reduced to another, and the princess spoke and persuaded her to stop.

The sedan arrived soon. Xu Miao only said a few words and left first. Lin Yunyan and Xu Jian returned to the front.

 Xu Baiben prepared tea and snacks in the flower hall. When he heard that the Duke of Guo had taken the princess to the study, he was extremely surprised and hurriedly carried the snack box outside the study.

 The study is a "forbidden area" in the mansion. Even Xu Bai has never entered it.

 He handed the box to Shen Chen and asked in a low voice: "Is it really inside?"

Shenchen is already used to this.

The princess can also enter the study room of Taohe Zhai whenever she wants.

“After all, she is the princess,” he said to Xu Bai.

Xu Bai thought for a while and nodded.

Right.

After all, she is the princess, and soon she will be the princess of the country. We are a husband and wife, who are you and me?

Shen Chen brought snacks in, prepared tea, and then left.

Lin Yunyan held the tea cup and looked around.

 It’s almost the same as in memory, but not exactly the same. The house is just like that. The longer you live in it, the more things you have.

There was a couch beside it for resting, and Xu Jian lay on it without paying any attention to Lin Yunyan.

It doesn’t matter.

 The more particular he was, the more the little princess would nag.

This is also the reason why they did not go to the flower hall. They wanted to get there in one step so as not to wait for Xu Jian to move to another place later. Anyway, the little princess did not regard herself as a guest.

In order to calm the little princess's temper, Xu Jian even took the initiative to take a thin blanket and cover her legs.

 Seeing the blanket, Lin Yunyan's brows stopped frowning so tightly.

Seeing this, Xu Jian said, "I didn't know you were here today, but the snacks prepared in the kitchen are not as sweet as those at Taohe Zhai."

Lin Yunyan responded and said: "I'm thinking that if I have the opportunity, I can invite Grandma He to come to the house. Madam will probably want to try her craftsmanship."

Xu Jian raised his eyebrows slightly.

If the young princess wants to mention the conversation between her and Mrs. Xu, this is really a good entry point.

 As expected, the next sentence follows.

"Madam just talked to me a lot," Lin Yunyan glanced at Xu Jian and said, "She still holds back many thoughts in her heart. Even without Liu Jing and Liu Xun, it's not good for her to hold things back. She needs someone Listen to her.

There are some things that she can’t tell you and A-Ping, or the nuns, she will tell me. I think there are also things that she doesn’t want to tell me, and she will be willing to tell Aunt He.

After all, she was very close to Grandma He when she was a child, and having a taste of her childhood would make her a lot happier. "

Xu Jian felt that the "cause" in the middle was not a good thing, so he simply answered "effect" directly.

"I'll arrange for grandma to come." Xu Jian said.

Lin Yunyan asked again: "You don't want to know what my wife said to me? I benefited a lot from her words."

 Xu Jian:…

He guessed that there would be a lot of problems today, but he didn't expect that he took everyone there lightly to avoid being in the Anpingyuan. At this moment, the account books were opened again.

"What did she say?" Xu Jian could only ask.

Lin Yunyan smiled lightly, which temporarily relieved the depressed mood in her heart, and then she slowly recounted Mrs. Xu's thoughts.

“I didn’t think about that before, but now that I think about it, I am indeed extremely lucky,” Lin Yunyan sighed. “There were many flashes of inspiration, many things that came naturally, and even a lot of luck.

 Without a little bit of luck, many things would not be what they are now.

 Also, I can’t do what I am now if I am alone. "

What she knows and works hard is that she can only deal with Chengyi's residence and influence the empress dowager, but the imperial study room and the Qianbu Corridor are not places she can control casually.

 The one who can place chess pieces in the court is Xu Jian.

Xu Jian was silent for a while, obviously surprised by Xu Miao's thinking.

After a long while, he said: "It's really difficult to be alone. Without your help, I can't move the Queen Mother, and I don't know about Zhu Xiang."

　In many things, no matter how hard the investigation is, there is still a gap in the end.

Once the gap appears, the subsequent development will be "a matter of course", just like they found Li Mi's son in Zhu Xiang, and also found the real cause of King Ding's death.

Lin Yunyan stood up, walked to the couch, knelt down, looked up at Xu Jian, and said, "Many things are different from before. As the lady said, when we go to a completely unfamiliar place, will we be able to survive the fork in the road after that?" No one can guarantee whether it’s the right move.”

“We can only go on,” Xu Jian’s hand fell on Lin Yunyan’s head very lightly. “Once you have passed it, you will know what is right and what is wrong. The more you know, the better your luck will be.”

Lin Yunyan smiled again.

She also stretched out her hands, removed Xu Jian's hand from her head, and pressed her forehead against it: "Do we have enough control?"

Xu Jian frowned.

He didn't wait for him to answer, and only listened to Lin Yunyan and said, "Go on before you know. You rest, I have to enter the palace to meet the emperor."

 After saying that, Lin Yunyan let go of Xu Jian's hand, stood up, straightened her clothes, turned around and walked out.

Xu Jian saw that she was about to go around the floor covering, and he called her out: "Ayan."

Lin Yunyan stopped and turned her head to look over.

Xu Jian looked at her with a deep look: "If you can get through, don't worry."

   Thanks to book friend Xu Bicheng’s official girlfriend for the reward.

 (End of this chapter)