Chapter 55
I took the initiative to sleep in the guest room that night.

When I silently left the master bedroom with my pillow in my arms, Gu Yanzhi looked at me.He probably saw that I had a bunch of prepared words waiting to refute his words, so he just looked at me in the end and didn't say a word.I lay on the bed in the guest room early, turned off the light and tossed and turned.Gu Yanzhi guessed what Gu Yanzhi might be thinking in the next room at the moment.Is he tossing and turning too.Or have started to hate me quietly.

When Gu Yanzhi hates someone, the whole person will become very indifferent.You could tell he was absent-minded from his eyes.If he was offended too much, he would still be vigilant in a calm manner.These are the results of my long-term observation.He has always concealed his emotions very deeply, and it is difficult to guess without digging.Sophisticated and precocious like Ye Xunxun, sometimes he gets dizzy by Gu Yanzhi's half-smile expression.

I thought, if Gu Yanzhi treated me like I treated him just now, maybe I could cry on the spot.However, Gu Yanzhi is not me after all.Maybe he can solve this matter like any setback in business affairs. After today, maybe he will divorce and leave cleanly.

On the one hand, I thought this way, on the other hand, I kept denying it.So conflicted.Until Yan Yu called to inquire about the situation.I replied weakly: "It's just like what I said before."

"Are your bones hurting tonight?"

"No."

"Does your heart hurt?"

"..."

"Do you need me to comfort you?"

I suddenly had a bad feeling: "You... still comfort people?"

"I'm distressed about this kind of thing because of feelings, can it be enough to stop the pain with pain?" Yan Yu said casually, "Think about the local swelling, local severe pain, and severe pain that you will encounter next due to tumor compression. Insomnia, irritability, and anemia and weight loss caused by tumor consumption. In the end, you will be so painful that you will lose your shape, and you will be like a ghost. At that time, you will not be in the mood to care about your distress, will you? Did you look at the photos of patients with advanced bone cancer? I have partial photos of amputee patients here, I hope you will be refreshed after seeing them, and you will be immersed in nightmares all night, and you won't think of anything about Gu Yanzhi again."

"..."

I suddenly understood why Ye Xunxun broke up with Yan Yu.His whole body trembled involuntarily, and then he replied blankly: "Thank you, I don't need it."

The next day, Lee Sang-nam and I met in a restaurant in the mall.

Compared to Yan Yu's incomprehensible style, Li Xiangnan's words seemed much gentler.But it's only relative.Anyone's comfort in this kind of thing is just scratching the surface, and it has no effect.After all, everyone understands the truth, and it hurts even more to be persuaded once.Li Xiangnan tried hard to persuade me for a long while, but finally felt that my indifferent expression couldn't stand it, so he could only grit his teeth and give up.He pondered for a while, then turned to persuade me on other aspects: "Why are you refusing to receive treatment? Even if the cancer is terminal, there is a question of how long it takes. My uncle is a positive example. Maybe you receive treatment Miracles will appear, and it is possible to live for another year, two years, or even many years. You are the most taboo for cancer patients..."

I lowered my head and turned the back of my hand, and interrupted him slowly: "Hey, I suddenly feel a little noisy here. Or I'd better go home."

When he was about to get up after speaking, Li Xiangnan immediately shut up.He stared at me with a bit of condemnation and unwillingness.I sat down again and looked out the window with a straw in my mouth.There is a clear sky, and there are clouds and clouds.There are clean streets.There are old people and children walking slowly.There are white vehicles gliding slowly past.There was sunshine beating lively in the air.After a while, I turned my face and said to him with some earnestness: "It's good to be alive. Li Xiangnan. When I need to engrave words on my tombstone in the future, you can engrave these five characters as my epitaph. You must Remember."

Li Xiangnan said seriously: "Can you stop talking about such creepy..."

He stopped suddenly after he finished speaking, looked at me behind him for a while, and then immediately looked nonchalant again.But after all, he couldn't hide it completely.I was about to turn around when Li Xiangnan grabbed my wrist.I looked down, and he was already close to my ear: "Don't look back. Gu Yanzhi is behind."

In fact, there is no need for him to explain.The floor-to-ceiling windows in front of me already reflected the scene behind me.I only raised my eyes slightly, and saw a familiar figure.That figure was tall and slender, only two round tables away from me.There were four or five formally dressed people gathered behind him, one of whom was a senior executive I had met in Gu's Building.

Gu Yanzhi stopped there abruptly, and the rest of the people looked at each other in blank dismay.I didn't know that this place also belonged to Gu Yanzhi's management category.If I knew it, I would definitely stay away from it.

The floor-to-ceiling windows are tall and bright, completely reflecting Gu Yanzhi's eyebrows and eyes.His eyes were falling on Li Xiangnan and me.The corners of his mouth were slightly pursed, and his expression was a stern look that I had never seen before.

There seemed to be no sound around.I watched him from the floor-to-ceiling windows, imagining what his next move might be.Maybe he would step forward to question, maybe he just turned around and left as if nothing had happened, or maybe he called the supervisor here and stood by and watched us be asked to go out.But actually I waited for a while, but Gu Yanzhi didn't do anything.He stood there, as if he had completely forgotten what he was going to do, and just looked over without saying a word.

I felt like I couldn't move my whole body.

Li Xiangnan leaned closer to my face less than ten centimeters away, and asked in a low voice, "Do you need me to kiss you?" After speaking, he immediately added, "Just borrowing a seat."

I lowered my head, trying to assume a calm gesture.One side said: "You dare."

Li Xiangnan looked at me with pursed lips.I said, "Take your hands away."

"Gu Yanzhi is still here."

"Because he's here." I lowered my eyes and said, "Take your hands away."

Li Xiangnan said aggrievedly: "I didn't mean to eat your tofu on purpose. It's just that your goal was almost achieved. Are you going to fall short now?"

I said, "Take your hands away."

He turned his eyes to look at me carefully.Probably because I felt that my appearance was a little dull, so I paused for a while, and then took it away.I saw Gu Yanzhi's figure on the floor-to-ceiling window took a step forward.Another pause.I'm so close to him that I can even see the cuff buttons of his shirt that he's wearing today.Pale gold, square.It was the pair I bought as a gift to him on Chinese Valentine's Day last year.

That time when he received a gift, he was a little surprised and raised his eyebrows slightly to look over.That was the first time I really gave him a gift, and I secretly prepared it for a long time.Originally, I wanted to make something with my own hands, such as clay or a scarf, but it turned out to be a little difficult and difficult to hide, so I had to give up.In the end, I picked a pair of cufflinks, and after I bought them, I thought that he might not like them. I was in such an uneasy mood until the day of Qixi Festival.When I finally handed out the present at night, I was actually very nervous, but my expression concealed my mood very well, as if I told him casually: "It's just a small thing. Of course it's best if you like it." , if you don't like it..."

He said, "What if you don't like it?"

I said lightly: "If you don't like it, I won't give it away." After I finished speaking, I jumped up to grab the cufflinks from his palm, and Gu Yanzhi picked up his waist and pressed him onto the sofa, and then hooked my chin A deep kiss, until you can't breathe.I grabbed his lapel and breathed heavily, and heard him say: "You can have more surprises like this in the future."

I looked up at his stretched facial features.There is a shadowy smile in the eyebrows and eyes, just looking at it like this makes people feel weak in the heart.I would love to tell him straight up that I really like him.However, he changed the way he spoke: "Look, I'm actually very serious about buying gifts, and I earned the money by myself. Now that you know this, don't you feel a little more moved?"

I was hugged tightly by him and could feel the temperature of his chest.Feeling him kissing my face repeatedly, as if melting.Then he heard him speak softly: "I think so. But it's already full, there can't be more, what should I do?"

……

I blinked, trying hard to digest the sourness oozing from my eyes.

The slender figure reflected in the floor-to-ceiling windows in front of me pondered for a moment, and finally walked towards me.My whole body tensed up, and I suddenly raised my eyes, meeting his gaze through the French windows.Gu Yanzhi's footsteps paused.I looked into his eyes, which were deep and bottomless, covering all emotions.He and I looked at each other for a while, and slowly groped for Li Xiangnan's hand on the table. The latter immediately understood, and quickly held it back.He also said a few words of comfort with concern.I saw Gu Yanzhi's gaze rest on his hands for a while.Suddenly he looked away, turned around, and strode away without stopping.

His figure is getting farther and farther away from the floor-to-ceiling windows, and it is getting smaller and smaller.Until the back turned around the turntable, he was never seen again.The entourage behind him didn't know why, and they hurriedly followed after a while.I covered my eyes and raised my head, trying to let all the tears flow back, but my cheek touched the hard spot on my ring finger. It was the ring that Gu Yanzhi put on my finger on my 20th birthday by the beauty's couch in the bedroom.The name is engraved on the inside of the ring, and the outside of the ring is inlaid with diamonds. With just a slight movement, it will shine brightly.A ring of the same style is put on Gu Yanzhi's ring finger. I have seen a woman strike up a conversation with Gu Yanzhi more than once, step forward to interlock his fingers, and then raise it confidently to declare sovereignty.

We used to be so happy.Our memories are all so good.

Li Xiangnan looked at me from the side, suddenly panicked, frantically looking for a tissue to wipe my face, and said, "Hey, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry."

I forced myself to be calm, and gave him a condescending look: "Of course I won't cry. I'm crying now, what should I do in the future?"

"..." He looked at me dumbly, and then pointed to my eye sockets carefully, "But, you are already crying now. Haven't you noticed it?"

I reached out to touch it, and sure enough, I touched the water all over my face.Immediately, she became a little annoyed and covered her face with her hands.But it couldn't be suppressed no matter what.My eyes gradually became blurred, Li Xiangnan silently handed over a tissue, and I grabbed it and wiped my cheeks indiscriminately.The wrist was suddenly held by him, and then he forcibly opened the palm of his hand.I was about to pull it back, only to find that the palms of my hands were covered with marks from fingernails, and two places were still bleeding faintly.Li Xiangnan held it down with a tissue, looked up at me: "Does it hurt?"

In fact, there was no pain at all.Probably Yan Yu's so-called pain relief really makes sense.The position of the heart is tightening one after another, and the spot on the palm of the hand is nothing compared to it.At the same time, my tears burst out like a torrent, and it was even more difficult to maintain a steady voice: "Hey, Li Xiangnan, do you think Gu Yanzhi finally hates me this time?"

I didn't go back to Gu Zhai that night, but stayed in the hotel.When Yan Yu called, my mood had just calmed down.This time it was rare for him not to use the sharp tip of his tongue, and he said gently: "Even if you refuse treatment, you still need some painkillers, right?"

I answered absent-mindedly: "Didn't you say that pain relieves pain? I think it works. Painkillers are not needed for the time being, so I'm sorry for your trouble. Do you have anything else to do? I'll hang up if it's fine."

Yan Yu was silent for a while, and said angrily: "Du Wan, you asked me to do psychological control! What do you mean by talking to me in such a tone now! Are you doubting my medical skills! How dare you give me Nod your head and try!"

"To be honest, I have some doubts about your medical skills, Dr. Yan." I wiped my face, and finally decided to tell the truth, "Have you succeeded in doing it? Gu Yanzhi doesn't seem to believe me at all now, how can you make me believe you?" Ah, tell me to try!"

Yan Yu's voice suddenly increased five times: "Do you think a living person is a puppet! The process of psychological control is very similar to an allergic reaction! If you force and quickly instill ideas that are not your own, if you are not careful, you will fall short! What's more, people like Gu Yanzhi are originally determined, and I have worked so hard to become what I am now, do you know! Mind control itself is a process of elimination and counter-elimination! A person can digest these concepts over time, do you understand? When he really gives up on you, you will cry!"

"..."

"I'm really tired of you people who don't know medical skills and pretend to know! If it weren't for the fact that you are a cancer patient, I would be too lazy to talk to you. Do you know that! Don't think that you have privileges because you are a patient! Give me Apologize! I ask you to apologize immediately!"

"..." I said immediately and sincerely, "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Don't be angry."

"I was thinking about whether to tell you, but now I look at me as a donkey with good intentions." Yan Yu's yin and yang anger still persisted, "Don't you think that Gu Yanzhi was not affected at all, very good. Very good! In a few more days Yue, if you haven't seen the news that Gu Yanzhi and Ye Jin are together in the media, I, Yan Yu, follow your surname Du! Believe it or not, I'll go to the police station and change my name to Du Yu!"

"……What's the meaning?"

"It means," Yan Yu paused, her tone slowly calming down, "Gu Yanzhi is still my half-children after all, I can't just sit and watch him stay single for the rest of his life after the two of you divorce. Since Ye Jin already likes him After not getting married for so many years, I might as well separate you from Gu Yanzhi, and at the same time put them together, it's better than Gu Yan alone to die alone."

I opened my mouth, but couldn't find my own voice for a long while.Yan Yu was silent for a while, and then said: "Du Wan, don't hate me. I still have a conscience, after all, I have to make plans for the living. Of course, I was speaking out of anger just now, and I don't necessarily guarantee that Ye Jin and Gu Yanzhi To be together in the future. This is psychology and emotion, not traditional Chinese medicine or Western medicine. I just try to persuade Gu Yanzhi to do this, but I am not sure whether he will listen or not."

I looked down at the palm of my hand, the bruise was still there, and Li Xiangnan forcibly put two band-aids on it in the afternoon.After a long time, I said slowly to the phone.He replied softly, "That's good too."

I don't know how long I was in a daze after hanging up the phone.When he raised his head again, he saw himself reflected in the full-length mirror opposite, his eye circles were obviously red, and his face was slightly swollen.And the corners of his mouth sank, obviously showing an extremely depressed appearance.Once again, I feel that the decision not to review the otaku today is correct.Just as he was about to wash his face, someone knocked lightly on the door of the room twice.I raised my head, and the next moment I heard Gu Yanzhi's calm voice: "Wanwan."

My whole body stiffened suddenly.Hearing him speak again: "Open the door. I know you are inside. Let's talk."

I walked over barefoot.Stand by the door for a moment.Trying to ask him calmly: "What do you want to talk about?"

He was silent for a moment outside.When she spoke again, it was low and soft, with a gentle voice that was all too familiar: "No matter what, let's make up, okay?"

I covered my mouth and tried to hold back so that I could not cry out.

I made him like this.I used to tell Ye Xunxun seriously that if you and Yan Yu really like each other, don't speculate on each other, and don't say anything until you're physically and mentally exhausted.This is simply torturing each other.I can't bear to see the person I like hurt because of my intention.

I said it with all my heart.But now what I say and do is a hundred times crueler than Ye Xunxun once did.I asked Gu Yanzhi to say such things.He has always been calm, proud and dignified, and no one can do anything to him.Now I let him say such things.

I started to hate myself.

I leaned close to the door and looked out through the peephole.Gu Yanzhi stood outside, holding a small cardboard box in his hand.I can clearly see the curlicue mark on the outside of the carton. It is a dessert made by a restaurant at the intersection of Xinjie.For a while when I was a kid, I basically took one piece a day until I gave up because of tooth decay.Later, Gu Yanzhi still took him home for a dollar or two from time to time, and when he asked him, he only said lightly that he was on the way.It was only later that I learned from Ye Xunxun that takeout was not allowed in that restaurant, and it was only because of Gu Yanzhi that I got extra privileges.

People who are liked by Gu Yanzhi can get too many benefits.This benefit is just a little bit of it.

I gradually felt unable to stand.Slowly slide down the door panel.I felt a sharp pain in my heart and held it tightly.There was a moment of silence outside, and there was no sound for a while. I thought that Gu Yanzhi had left, but I heard him call my name.

"Yan Yu told me that you fell in love with someone else." His voice was low, a little slow, and he said word by word, "You went to City A for an internship half a year ago, and this time you went again. He said he saw you both times. Seeing that you are with Li Xiangnan. He never lied, but this time I can't believe it."

I bite my sleeve tightly.Tears were streaming down, not daring to make a sound.

"I watched you grow up by my side, and I believed in my own eyes and intuition. You have always been kind and attentive, and it is impossible to easily divorce me for the so-called novelty. You told me when you were 15 years old You like me, you said that you will be good to me all your life. I know you didn’t just say it casually. Before going to City A, you agreed to come back to try on the wedding dress, and which island to choose for your honeymoon. You Everything was promised very well. I can't tell myself that you can suddenly change your mind in just a few days. I can't believe it."

"I can't fill in the vertical years, but Li Xiangnan will not know you better than me. He can't know the size of your fingers and the width of the soles of your feet, and he can't know where your birthmark is. The time he was with you It is far less than our time. It is impossible for him to understand better than me that you are used to calming things down, and that your stubbornness is actually the purpose of acting like a baby. When do you want to be alone, when do you want to be with others, and when are you afraid? He will never know better than me when he will get angry. I would rather believe that you have a secret and refuse to tell me. But if you come to me with any difficulties, it will not be a shameful thing. Wanwan, you You can cry to me, quarrel with me, and any degree of wanton nonsense, I have enough confidence and patience to grow old with you. The only thing is that you can't treat me like this now. Let's make up, okay?"

I finally couldn't help it, stood up and opened the door.

Tears were blurred in front of my eyes.Gu Yanzhi was waiting there, wearing light-colored clothes, always elegant and calm.But in the past, his eyes were not as forbearing as this, making people feel uncomfortable just by looking at them.Suddenly, I remembered the first time I saw him more than ten years ago. At that time, he was so calm and leisurely, unhurried, even his fingertips were beautiful, and his etiquette and behavior were completely different from those in the mountains.At that time, his voice was like the spring breeze passing slowly in the mountains, so gentle that it made people obsessed.

I used to think it was a fate given by God.Now it is found that the conclusion has been prematurely drawn.We have enough opportunities, but not all the good luck.

I think now I must look like a mess.But I didn't know what to say at all, Gu Yanzhi's words were watertight, and I couldn't refute my flimsy reasons.Before he could finish thinking, he had already grabbed his arm and dragged him to the wall.

The carton fell to the ground.He grabbed my waist, raised my chin with one hand, and kissed me heavily.My teeth were pried open, and my mouth was looted like never before.Gradually have a salty taste.Gu Yanzhi has always paid attention to manners and occasions. He has taught me the perfect etiquette, and he has always carried out these etiquette very well.But now he is pressing me against the wall of the corridor, his body is tightly fitted, and the strength of his kiss is long and fierce.My lips gradually became numb, as if he was swallowed inch by inch before he stopped, but I clearly felt the strong sense of grief pervading.

It took him a long time to let me go.He didn't fall down because he grabbed his waist.He was kissing my eyes, and there was tenderness on his face that was soaked cold by tears.I really want people to be involuntarily close to the past.He looked at me, and said word by word: "Wanwan, take back what you said before. Let's start over."

I looked up at him.He has always been strong and steady.He had never lowered his figure like this, and begged anyone in such a tone.I squeezed my palms tightly.

I lowered my head and said, "But don't you hate me?"

He said, "Why should I hate you?"

"Since you are saying that you have started all over again, it means that you also know that what Yan Yu told you is true. It is true that I had a secret relationship with Li Xiangnan a long time ago, and Yan Yu did not lie this time. I am lying to you."

He was silent for a moment, then said: "You look up and watch me say such things."

I froze.

He said, "You're lying to me, aren't you?"

I took a deep breath, raised my head, and met his gaze: "I'm not lying to you. What I said is true. I've always been in two boats, I'm a bad person, taking advantage of your trust , and let you down again. I tricked you into being like this, and you should hate me. You really hate me, right? No one has ever treated you like this. I'm actually unforgivable. You can think what you want about me. You You actually hate me, you just didn't say it out loud, right?"

He looked at me with lowered eyes and didn't speak.I simply said out in one breath: "Can you go to Ye Jin? She has been waiting for you for so many years. She is so beautiful and sensible. She is more worthy of your liking than me. I really don't like you anymore. Can you accept this fact?" good?"

I've never told so many lies in one sitting.He squeezed his palm tightly.I think, even if he says one more word now, I will fall short.

I have endured it for so long, and my self-control has reached the edge of being unbearable.

The man in front of me, he once caught me at the last moment when I was about to fall.Take me in when I'm at my loneliest.Tell me he loves me when I'm at my worst.He has appeared many times in time.So now, as long as he calls me Wanwan, or repeats that I am lying to him, I will immediately throw myself into his arms and cry loudly, hug his waist and tell him everything.

But he said nothing more.Slowly let go of the arms.Then back out half a step away.After a while, he turned and left.There is no pause.

I rarely see his back.Gu Yanzhi said before that the back will bring a sense of sadness.If he can, he will try to put me in front of him.On every business trip since then, he has tried to avoid me watching him leave.But today I saw his back twice in a row.

He walked quickly, and it took only a short while to disappear around the corner of the corridor.I haven't seen him for a week since then.

I've only seen him on the news once recently, at a stylish dinner.In the photo, he was wearing a black velvet dress that couldn't be more low-key, but his eyebrows and eyes were handsome, the most eye-catching among the group, and there was a faint smile on his face that couldn't reach his eyes.I stared at it for a while, while Li Xiangnan stared at me for the same time.Then he said quietly: "Reluctant? Then go home and tell him the truth."

I said: "You boys saw a beautiful woman on the road and still stared at it for a long time. Can I just pretend to be a beautiful man and take a look at it?"

"Are you just taking a casual look? Do you know that your gaze is going to burn a hole in the screen?" Li Xiangnan said, "If you don't want to part with it, you just don't want to part with it. What's the point?"

It took me two full days to gather my emotions.Find a lawyer on the third day, make an appointment at an open-air cafe, and explain the relevant property transfer matters.After I briefly explained the purpose of my visit, he looked at me, hesitated for a while, and said hesitantly: "Miss Du, you are the wife of Gu Yanzhi, the chairman of the Gu Corporation?"

The weather was a bit gloomy that day, I adjusted my sunglasses on the bridge of my nose and said, "No."

He laughed a little: "Miss Du is joking. Even if you wear glasses and others can't recognize you, but such a huge sum is in front of me, who else can it be except Gu Yanzhi's wife. Everyone in the city knows The chairman of Gu’s cares for his spouse to the point of being exclusive. My wife often tells me what Gu Dong did for his lover. Let’s talk about Gu Du’s story when you registered your marriage two years ago But it has always been talked about. How could it not be?"

I said, "That's what you say."

He looked at me for a while and said, "Miss Du is not in a good mood today?"

"No."

He snorted, and suddenly became overly enthusiastic and excited, and said to me: "Why does Ms. Du suddenly want to transfer these properties back to Mr. Gu? There is no difference under the name of the man. Don't women generally want the man's real estate and so on to be in their own name to increase their sense of security? Why would Ms. Du want to do it the other way around?"

I squinted at him, deeply feeling like I met a charlatan.Obviously, when making an appointment this morning, the person in charge specifically stated that this lawyer surnamed Zhang is one of the most professional and famous lawyers in this city.Its professionalism and reputation can be proved by its hourly consulting price in US dollars.Now it seems that it is clear that the actual delivery does not match the product.

I looked at him for a while, but couldn't help asking: "Is your surname really Zhang? Is it really Li Zao Zhang? Not Gong Chang Zhang?"

He said: "Ah. Zhang Yiming. Make an early chapter, one two one, the sun and the moon will be bright." After speaking, he looked at me earnestly, "I heard that Miss Du's father is Mr. Du Sicheng, right? I also heard that Du Ms. Gu was brought back to T City by Gu Dong from the western mountainous area more than ten years ago? Is that so? Gu Dong was only about 20 years old at that time, right? After so many years, the relationship between Miss Du and Gu Dong is still It's so good. It's a fate destined by heaven. It's really enviable."

I did not speak.

In the past few years, I have heard this kind of good words from different people countless times.I have received countless envious or jealous eyes.I always feel proud and take it for granted, never thought it would become where it is today.

In the late spring more than ten years ago, the time in the mountains was unbelievably good.I hugged a person tightly and refused to let go.There is an unusual refreshing smell in the nose.He pulled the covering cloth off his eyes.The setting sun was like blood at dusk that day, and the stranger in front of me had deep eyelashes, narrow brows and eyes, but at the same time had a gentle smile.

From the beginning to the present, recalling frame by frame, it suddenly seemed like a sweet dream.

Three days later, Zhang Yiming put a new property transfer document in front of me.When I turned to the last page and signed it, he opened his mouth and said, "Miss Du, don't you even read it?"

"I believe you."

He was hesitant to speak, and finally took the agreement from me, flipped to one of the pages, and pointed to it: "Look, let's not talk about the real estate on the previous page, this page alone You can buy half of the commercial street here with the stock and dividends, do you really want to sign this agreement?"

I nodded and said, "Ah."

"why?"

I pushed the teapot in front of him: "Lawyer Zhang, please drink tea."

"..." Zhang Yiming refused to give up, stared at me for a while, and asked tentatively, "Mr. Gu forced you to do this?"

"No."

"That is, you, are you going to get a divorce? But that's not right, if you get a divorce, why are you..."

I interrupted him calmly: "That's it. There's no reason, I'm just looking for something new, and I want to get out of the house and have fun."

"..."

I haven't tried to understand the status and prestige of the Gu family in T city before.Such a family with a big tree and deep roots has always acted in a low-key manner and remained calm.Even if Ye Xunxun knows everything, he just told me that I take Gu Yanzhi as my guardian, who is hundreds of times better than Du Chengchen.However, she couldn't tell what was good about it.

Thinking about it now, we didn't have a big difference between rich and very rich.Until later, after the college entrance examination, I went to a banquet with Gu Yanzhi, and Du Chengchen happened to be there too. A bunch of people were joking and chatting around him, but when they turned around and saw Gu Yanzhi stepping into the door, they immediately turned around and gathered around him.At that time, I was held back by Gu Yanzhi's hand, and only then did I avoid the bad luck of being suffocated to death by the people rushing up like a tide.Later, I took a look at Du Chengchen standing there, obviously his expression was a bit ugly.Later, when we were about to leave, when Gu Yanzhi went to pick up the coat, I was inexplicably stuffed with a box in my hand by the organizer.He wanted to decline but was told that it was for Gu Yanzhi, so he was in a dilemma and had to accept it.When Gu Yanzhi got back his clothes, the organizer had disappeared.Gu Yanzhi put the coat on for me, looked down at the box in my hand, took it over and opened it for a look, raised his eyebrows slightly, then closed it casually, and asked me with a smile: "The fat Uncle Wang from the organizer gave it to me. ?”

In the middle of his opening and closing movements, I clearly saw the green light flickering inside, which seemed to be a bracelet.I raised my head to check his face, Gu Yanzhi's smile didn't move at all, but I always felt that he was not really happy.So he let out an ah, and asked in a low voice, "Did I do something wrong?"

He said, "No." After thinking about it, he opened the box again and asked me, "Do you like it?"

The bracelet is green and faint, looking oily and cool.I actually liked it instinctively, but I always vaguely felt that something was wrong, so I finally shook my head and said seriously: "I don't like it very much."

He rubbed the top of my hair, with a smile on the corner of his mouth: "I'll give you a more beautiful one tomorrow." Then he called a waiter and whispered a few words.The waiter quickly left with the box, and Gu Yanzhi took my hand and turned to leave.On the way back, I finally noticed the meaning, turned my head to look at him, and asked, "Are you respected and loved outside?"

It was a red light outside, and the car stopped slowly.Gu Yanzhi stretched out his hand, held my fingers in his palm and kneaded them one by one.Then he nibbled on his ring finger and asked me with a smile, "Do I look that old already?"

He didn't answer directly, but my curiosity was aroused that night.So I went online the next day, spent a whole day looking for Gu's information, and finally realized that Gu Yanzhi is stronger than I thought.The Gu family under his command, its assets and employees, technology and strategy, are beyond the scope of my previous knowledge.And his own background is profound, and his net worth is huge, which is beyond what I thought he was like.

Then, the year before last, he gave me almost all of his wealth.

I still remember his calm attitude when he suddenly informed me of this decision.In addition to the sentence "increasing the sense of security", he actually has another sentence following: "Besides, I heard that after marriage, the husband always has to hand in the salary card to his wife."

He has always been generous in saying these things, and he doesn't think it's inappropriate to do these things.On the contrary, it is often done in an ordinary way, just like a trivial matter like eating and chatting.My reaction was stronger than his. I opened my eyes and looked at him for a long time before murmuring: "But, it's too precious."

His answer to me at that time was: "Wanwan, if you say something like this, it still means that you think I like you not as much as you like me. If you trust you like me, or trust me as much as you trust me You yourself will feel that this kind of thing does not matter whether it is expensive or not, or whether it is worth it."

He once spent a long time telling me patiently that he really liked me.

If I could be more selfish and directly tell Gu Yanzhi the fact that I have cancer, I think my pain will be much less in the future than it is now.He must keep his worst side to himself, and even smiled to comfort me when he was in front of me.But I think that Gu Yanzhi should be the same as I thought. He likes a person, but he just wants him to live as well as possible.

I still remember how he looked when his parents died, and I can't forget the sentence "I'm only you left" when he hugged me.I imagined that after Gu Yanzhi knew the truth, he would not sleep with me even under my strong opposition, but he would be sad for a long time after watching me die.

If I didn't pretend to be affectionate, he really misses me to this extent. If I know it in the future, I definitely don't want to see him live like this for the rest of his life; if I pretend to be passionate, he will love me one day after I die. If you don't like someone else, you might as well start now.The so-called long-term pain is worse than short-term pain, at least it can save him the pain of watching me die.After all, there are so many women who like him, if he finds any one, he will easily grow old together.Maybe he will forget me, maybe he will hate me forever.But to him, this is considered the best of the bad.

……

In addition to finishing the related matters of property transfer, I also spent two days revising the content and format of the thesis for undergraduate defense.In fact, most of them were revised by Gu Yanzhi after I made the first draft, including the abstract of the article and the most important part of the experimental data in the text of the subsequent paper.Only a few pages of English translations were added by me.Gu Yanzhi has always been very smart. I once watched him flip through company documents, and he didn't even pause when he flipped through complicated words and numbers page by page.It is a piece of cake to organize and write my thesis materials.He writes a dissertation for half a year. Two months ago, it only took him a day and a half from viewing my thesis to editing it from beginning to end.

I went to my supervisor on the fifth day and gave him the thesis. He read it for a long time, and I thought there was something wrong. Suddenly he pointed at the thesis and turned his head, and asked me seriously: Did you do it all yourself?"

With a slack in my neck, I nodded without changing my expression: "Yes."

I clearly saw his eyes light up, rubbed his hands, and asked me sincerely: "If I remember correctly, you were admitted to graduate school when you were in the third year of university? Why did you give up the quota for graduate school later on?" ? Do you still plan to take the postgraduate entrance examination in the future? If you have, as long as you pass the initial test, come to me for the retest, and I will guarantee that you will have no problems!"

"I'm sorry, teacher, I have no such intention." After a pause, he asked again, "Do you think my thesis is okay? If it is okay, can I defend some time earlier? Do you think it will be possible by the end of this month? "

I calculated back and forth, and there is still one and a half months before the defense.And my final end of life was just over three months away.According to the steps taken by Yan Yu's advanced bone cancer patients from swelling and pain to being erect, I think that I may not be able to maintain this state until mid-June when I will actually respond.

I spent the whole morning with my tutor and refused to tell him the reason for moving the time forward, but in the end I managed to set the defense time in half a month.As soon as I walked out of the teaching building, I received a call from Lawyer Zhang, telling me that Gu Yanzhi had signed the property transfer agreement.I groaned, paused for a while, and asked, "What was his expression like when he signed the agreement?"

He seemed to hesitate for a while, and said to me: "Mr. Gu's expression is a little cold."

"Then, did he say anything?"

"Mr. Gu seems to be busy today. After signing the agreement without saying a word, he rushed to a certain meeting." Zhang Yiming paused and said, "Ms. Du really wants to divorce Mr. Gu? But I think... "

I said "Hello" to the sky twice amidst the chatter that I expected his coming, and said to myself in a puzzled tone, "Why can't I hear you", and then hung up the phone.

Then I waited in the hotel for two whole days, but I didn't see any news from Gu Yanzhi.

He had no text messages, no phone calls, and no one in sight. This reaction seemed like he didn't care about the signing of that agreement at all.I wandered around the hotel room for two days by myself, but Li Xiangnan came twice, and I drove them all back.I thought that Gu Yanzhi might have gone on a business trip or was caught up in other things, so he didn't have time to come to me.I also understand that this is actually just my self-deception.Until 11:30 in the evening of the seventh day, Yan Yu called. At this time, his voice was still clear and straightforward: "I heard that you and Gu Yanzhi have divorced?"

I paused: "Who did you listen to?"

"Your tone sounds like you haven't left yet." He snorted, "Actually, I haven't heard of it either, I just saw that Gu Yanzhi and Ye Jin are always in pairs these days on the Internet, and they are both on the Internet. I thought you two were divorced because of the news headlines."

I said:"……"

My brain was a little confused at that moment.Immediately rushed to the table to turn on the computer, followed Yan Yu's instructions to open the news, the first one was indeed that Gu Yanzhi and Ye Jin entered a certain high-end club together.The photo above is slightly blurred, but the extremely familiar face can still be distinguished.Wearing a pair of wide sunglasses, the lips are calm, and at the same time, there is a little carelessness in his gestures.

Ye Jin beside him had a bright smile on his face.I haven't seen her for a long time.Looking at it this way, it turns out that she is about the same age as Gu Yanzhi, but she is still as beautiful as she was many years ago.They even match in height and temperament.It's not like when I was standing next to Gu Yanzhi, someone would always make fun of me, saying that I was a child that Gu Yanzhi coaxed and deceived.

Yan Yu spoke slowly on the phone: "Look, Du Wan, you have been with Gu Yanzhi for more than ten years, and you have never appeared in any news media. Now Ye Jin has only been with Gu Yanzhi for two or three days. It quickly occupied the headlines of major newspapers and media. Do you have anything to say?"

"..."

I have nothing to say.

That's exactly what I wanted to achieve.It's just that when I actually saw it, I was a little bit sadder than I imagined.I'm only a little thankful that in this photo Gu Yanzhi didn't hold Ye Jin's hand, nor did she hold his arm, they were just close to each other by their clothes, maybe they weren't so close at all, it was just a coincidence Misplaced.I can only comfort myself like this.

After tossing and turning all night, I went to the Gu's building early the next morning.

I have been here many times.Familiar enough to tell the number of plants within a radius of 09 meters here.But this time I didn't go in.Just sitting in the coffee shop across the building from seven in the morning until five in the afternoon.The time when Gu Yanzhi came to the company was uncertain, from seven in the morning to the afternoon.Today, however, he arrived downstairs at exactly 30:[-], still looking like a windbreaker and shirt. After entering the building, he did not come out again.Gu Yanzhi's floor is on the top floor, I need to look up very high to see it.

For me now, time is an absolute luxury, yet cheap at the same time.I sat in the shop and watched the people outside.This is the central block of T City, everyone on the street is walking in a hurry, their brows slightly furrowed, maybe they are worrying about some trivial matters or work, or they may be making plans for their future self.

It is a beautiful thing to be alive.Many people have such thoughts.However, it will be particularly vivid only when you feel that life is like a few hourglasses, counting down a little bit.So vivid that you can feel every beat of your heart.Like a dull beat welcoming death.

I rested my chin until eleven o'clock at noon.A red car slowly approached under the building, and after stopping, Ye Jin got off.

She was wearing a light red dress and was carrying an insulated box in her hand.Smile and say hello to the reception lady at the front desk.Demeanor is humble and polite, smile just right.

Ye Xunxun once mentioned that her cousin didn't have anything too bad other than stubbornness.He even has more hobbies than Ye Xunxun.This made Ye Xunxun very angry.Ye Jinqin, chess, calligraphy and painting are proficient in everything. In ancient times, she was a lady of a famous family.Besides, Ye Jin is proficient in knitting and cooking, especially the last one.Ye Jin doesn't cook easily, but every time she cooks, she will definitely get [-]% praise.Even a person like Ye Xunxun, who has almost never praised anyone, has to admit that the Hericium erinaceus dish made by Ye Jin is simply one of the best delicacies in the world.

Yet I still feel angry.

Gu Yanzhi and I haven't divorced yet, Ye Jin has already entered the building in a grand manner.The next step is naturally to enter Gu Yanzhi's office.She was carrying such a big food box, obviously she wanted to have lunch with Gu Yanzhi.Then the two chatted again, smiled, and when they got excited, the distance between each other would get closer... I can basically think of the scene behind.And the more I think about it, the more annoying I feel, staring at the glass windows on the top floor and wanting to shoot laser rays.

I waited for a long time, but I didn't wait until Gu Yanzhi stepped out of the building.Time passed very slowly.After waiting until the back, I almost wanted to rush into the building, but held back again.Wait patiently for the sun to cross the sky and reach the west.Near the end of get off work, people began to leave the building.I rushed out of the coffee shop, ran under the building, and waited for Gu Yanzhi to come out.But I have been waiting for a long time and have not waited.As night fell, it was already eight o'clock in the evening. I squatted on the side steps and almost wondered if Gu Yanzhi had already left. I didn't realize it for a moment, but suddenly I heard a woman's light laughter.

My heart skipped a beat.Turn away immediately.Sure enough, he saw that tall and straight figure with Ye Jin beside him.They walked out of the building together.There was a cool breeze, the material of Ye Jin's skirt was light and thin, and the hem of the skirt quickly drew a petal-like curve.I saw her flinch, and then she said to Gu Yanzhi in a coquettish tone, "Hey, it's a bit cold. Can you lend me your windbreaker?"

I stood there stiffly, forgetting that the next move at this moment should be to stand up and walk over.

Fortunately, my brain is still active.After thinking about it quickly, I feel that today's situation is not suitable for meeting.I was thinking about how to leave without being noticed by them, when suddenly the evening wind came with a chill, I shivered twice, then I couldn't hold it back, and sneezed quickly.

When Gu Yanzhi turned his gaze, I lowered my head to avoid looking into his eyes.It became a little quiet for a while.Then I heard Gu Yanzhi's footsteps walking towards this side.A garment is draped over me.A figure knelt down in front of me.My hands were held by someone, and I felt a burst of warmth from the cold touch.

I suddenly felt a little sore again.But after all hold back.Hearing his voice close at hand: "How long have you been sitting here? Your hands are cold."

"..." I lowered my head, still not daring to look at him, and said, "I want to talk to you about something."

He was silent for a while, but still asked, "How long have you been sitting here?"

"Not very long."

"Why don't you go in?"

"I think," I looked at his hands in front of me, slender and powerful.I always feel that every part of him is perfect and beautiful.I feel that the words behind are getting softer and harder, "I think you should hate me very much now. You don't want me to go in. I'll still wait for you here."

This time he was silent for a long time.Only then said in a low voice: "Since you know that I might hate you, why don't you take it back?"

I look up at him.The light in front of the building was dim, making his brows and eyes dim.But the facial features are still beautiful, and every stroke is just right.There is no smile in the eyes, but there is no trace of boredom.Even, it seems a little gentle.

I can't bring myself to repeat what I said before.I can't say anything else serious.I just looked at him like that, hoping he would understand me.I hope he doesn't understand.

It was so quiet for a long time.Until it was as cold as water, I took a sniff.Then, I heard him speak slowly: "If divorce is still your intention, then it is as you wish."

When he said these words, his eyes were warm and quiet.It's like the early autumn after the heavy rain, rushing all the emotions into the ground, and then covering them up as if nothing had happened.

He still wore a ring on his ring finger, which glistened in the dim light.I don't know how Gu Yanzhi thought about it these few days before he said this sentence.In the end, he still put the choice in my hands.But if he is like this, it is clear that he has agreed to the divorce.According to Yan Yu's previous science popularization theory, Gu Yanzhi has probably reached the stage of eliminating the so-called "allergic reaction" and is slowly accepting the concept instilled by Yan Yu.Accept Ye Jin's approach, agree to my divorce, and the next step may be to be really bored with me.

I forced a smile.When he spoke again, his voice was a little hoarse: "Okay. We're getting a divorce."

His palms around me loosened slightly.Some of them looked at me blankly, but didn't speak.With a little effort, my hand broke away from his wrap.Immediately felt a deeper coolness.

I have never realized more clearly than this moment that this kind of warmth will never be there again.

There are many benefits to being liked by Gu Yanzhi.But once he doesn't like it, it will be even more painful when these benefits are taken away.The prospect theory in economics once said that the pain that people suffer when they lose is far more intense than the pleasure when they get the same thing.The same applies to emotions.

I can't deny that at this moment, my heart convulsed like a blade slowly cutting.

"You and Ye Jin, me and Li Xiangnan, this is very good." I said as I took out the divorce agreement I had prepared from my bag, and I didn't have the courage to go to see him again, so I whispered, "I came to see you today , I just want to sign this divorce agreement. I don’t want any property, and I don’t think there is anything else. My name has been signed on it. If you think you agree, you can sign it. Tomorrow is Saturday, wait until the day after tomorrow Monday , let's go to the Civil Affairs Bureau."

The person in front of me didn't respond for a while.He squatted down in front of me, wearing only a light-colored shirt, and the late spring breeze was blowing, and it was still a bit chilly, which made me want to return the clothes to him.After all, I don't have a few months to live. In fact, it doesn't make any difference whether I wear clothes or not, and whether I catch a cold or not.In the face of cancer, minor illnesses such as colds are not even worth mentioning.Gu Yanzhi, on the other hand, I was thinking redundantly, anyone who is betrayed will not feel good, and he must not be happy now, and even feel angry. In this case, as the other party to the betrayal, I still wear him The clothes are simply unforgivable.

I grabbed the corner of the clothes and hesitated to give it back to him.The moment I opened my mouth, I felt reluctance.He heard him say lightly: "You are so anxious."

I opened my mouth, unable to answer for a while.looked up at him.He spoke again, this time more coldly than before: "If I sign, will you be happier than now?"

I have some unpromising nose acid.Of course I don't feel happy.

I can't wait to keep Ye Jin away from him, I can't wait to keep her within 100 meters of Gu Yanzhi for the rest of her life.I wish I could accompany him to live to be 70 years old.Even if it is not 70 years old, halving the age is fine.But I can't do anything like this.There is no room for assumptions in this world.Either long-term pain or short-term pain, you can only choose one.

I gritted my teeth and said ah, in a nonchalant tone: "I will be happier than now."

Gu Yanzhi didn't say another word.

His eyes were dark and calm, but I clearly felt that there was a disappointment in him that was so strong that it couldn't be resolved.After a while, he took the document and pen in my hand, and signed the bottom page without glancing at the text on the agreement.His posture for holding the pen has always been regular, and his handwriting is also beautiful. The real handwriting is in regular script, but today he can't sign it more scribbled, and hastily signed all three copies in the blink of an eye.Then he closed the file and put it back in my hand.

I stood up and handed the windbreaker back to him very self-aware.I think the next step should be to watch him go away with Ye Jin.However, Gu Yanzhi didn't take over, he just said to me calmly: "I'll take you back."

I opened my mouth and said "no need", the next moment a voice came from not far away: "Du Wan, is the matter over? Can we go?"

I followed the sound and looked over. Li Xiangnan was standing behind the flower bed with a calm expression and a red windbreaker in his hand.Then he walked over slowly, stood still in front of me, and put the windbreaker on my shoulders.

I don't remember that I have a windbreaker of this color. I looked up at Li Xiangnan, and he said "Hey" without incident: "Are you hungry now? Look, I've been waiting for you until your feet are numb. You must be too." I'm hungry. Let's go eat Japanese food, shall we? Didn't you say yesterday that you want to eat?"

After I was in a daze, I quickly said: "That's fine." I didn't dare to look at Gu Yanzhi's face anymore, I put his windbreaker back on him, and hurriedly left the scene with Li Xiangnan.Until the car drove for a long time, I still didn't dare to take a look in the rearview mirror.

Li Xiangnan next to him said leisurely: "What do you want to eat? Tell me quickly. Could it be that we really want to eat Japanese food?"

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm hungry if you're not hungry. You can just drink a cup of coffee without eating for a day, but I can't. I've been waiting for you for so long, and now my chest is on my back. How about we go eat hot pot?"

I turned my head and looked at him: "Why are you there?"

"I've been living opposite your hotel room for the past two days, don't you know? I knew it as soon as you went out this morning, and I followed you there. You sat in the coffee shop all day, and I was waiting for you at the corner of the coffee shop Waiting for a day, okay? For the sake of my deep friendship, can you bear not to accompany me to eat hot pot?"

I touched a bit of fabric on my arm: "Where did the trench coat come from?"

"I saw it in the mall yesterday and thought it should suit you, so I bought it. You didn't wear too much when you left this morning, so I brought it for you."

"...Don't say anything else, but I am a patient who will die soon. It will be summer soon, even if you buy it, I won't be able to wear it for a few days, you know?"

"But there is no rule that patients cannot wear new clothes." Li Xiangnan said, "Don't you feel happier wearing new clothes?"

I said, "To be honest, I don't feel very happy. I think it's a waste of money."

Li Xiangnan paused for a while.Youyou said: "But I really want to make you happy. I have been thinking about it for a long time these two days, and I finally figured out why you refused to receive treatment. In fact, Gu Yanzhi is not in front of you, and you don't care about your own life or death at all. Right? But I care, I really care. Du Wan, can you imagine how I feel? I like you so much, I like you deeply, but now I want to see you bit by bit in front of me Die, Du Wan, can you imagine how uncomfortable I am?"

I kept my mouth shut and didn't answer this time.

Li Xiangnan didn't comment on me being capricious and selfish. It can already be seen that he should basically be a kind person throughout his life.I concealed my illness from Gu Yanzhi, I made such a big decision without authorization.I also dragged Li Xiangnan into this muddy water.All because of an idea of ​​my own.Thinking about it this way, everyone is innocent and passive, except that I am taking advantage of the special rights of patients and making trouble out of nothing.

At 09:30 on Monday morning, I sat on the lounge chair of the Civil Affairs Bureau, waiting for Gu Yanzhi to come.The sky is dark, and the sun is like a fried egg white, hidden in the clouds and chaotic.

I still remember the last time I was here.Gu Yanzhi was wearing a light gray sweater and a light white shirt, with handsome features. As soon as he stepped in, he attracted everyone's attention like a magnet.I tried to stay calm, but I was really nervous.He held Gu Yanzhi's hand tightly, not daring to leave an inch.The weather was fine that day, and there were two rare magpies standing quietly on the treetops outside the window.When Gu Yanzhi and I came out of the building, I had two little red books in my hand.I didn't really understand the meaning of marriage at that time, and I always felt that it was no different from before.Gu Yanzhi didn't tell me that my life would change in the future.After thinking for a long time, she still raised her head and asked him in a daze: "Are we married now?"

He looked at me with a smile in the corner of his eyes: "Otherwise what do you think it is?"

"But," I whispered, "I don't think there is any change. What is the meaning and mission of marriage? You haven't told me."

"For you, the basic meaning is that from now on you start to have my legal and exclusive ownership." He leaned over, fastened my seat belt, and said to me casually, "For me For me, the task is probably to feed you legally and meticulously for a long time until you have an appetite, and there is no one but me, so that's fine."

"..."

I've been thinking about the past this weekend, and all the while today.Ye Xunxun once said that when a person is at the pinnacle of happiness, the beautiful past will hardly see the light of day.When I feel sad and depressed, I can't help but think of these sweet old things.It's like adding a note to the bleak and painful text, telling yourself that there were still some beautiful things.However, the more this is the case, the more sad it is.The more you remember, the harder it is to bear.If you remember everything, you will basically stay where you are, and you will not be able to go on at all.

Ye Xunxun's quotations have now once again proved its philosophy and brilliance.

I didn't know how long I was wandering in the sky, and I thought about it again and again with some sadness and taste, only to realize that I didn't know when there was an extra pair of dark trousers in front of me.The person standing in front of me is as rich as jade, with a beautiful jawline.The nasal tube is straight and the eyelashes are deep and long.

Gu Yanzhi looked at me for a while.There was a clear trace of fatigue on his face, and the brows were slightly furrowed, but there was still no relaxation.I held my breath and looked at him. After a while, he looked away and said flatly, "Let's go."

I silently followed behind him.I thought so much just now, but now I walked all the way into the divorce room with him, but I didn't have any thoughts at all.Asking and answering mechanically in front of the staff, I vaguely felt that the gaze from across the table was lingering on Gu Yanzhi and me for a long time, he hesitated to speak for a few times, but finally stopped.Until the red marriage certificate was taken away, a divorce certificate was handed over.When watching the whole process, I feel that I should be numb.It wasn't until this moment that I felt my heart tremble.

But 10 minutes, already out.In the middle, he couldn't help but secretly glanced at Gu Yanzhi. He watched the staff's movements with a sinking face, never turning his eyes away.When I walked out of the divorce room, I still silently followed behind Gu Yanzhi.When he stopped, I braked slowly and almost ran into him.

I looked up and he was looking down at me.He always keeps all his emotions properly stored away, but this time I really read the indifference under his calmness.

It's real indifference, very much like the attitude he shows when dealing with people he hates.

I was watched by him for a long time.Then, he heard him speak softly: "Du Wan, I hope we won't meet again in the future."

(End of this chapter)

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