Lord, don't chase me, I want to go back to modern times

She sighed tiredly and remained silent for a while, "Has the benefactor ever done something that I regret today?"

When she mentioned the word 'regret', the scene of Xiao Yiran accompanying me to catch fireflies instantly appeared in my mind, and I nodded with a sad voice.

"Yes, I regard him as my best friend, because he can make me happy, make me laugh, and understand me better. I gave him trust and trust unconditionally, but what he rewarded me was betrayal. My dearest person. So I hate him, I chose to blame him, and finally he died, died in front of me, the momentary hatred disappeared, replaced by that regret. Until now I I still can’t let it go, and since then no one has yelled at me while protecting me at the same time.”

"Now do you still have someone you hate?"

"Yes." I lowered my head sadly, and my clenched hands slowly relaxed.

"I loved him once, and he loved me very much, but he was the one who hurt me the most. I couldn't understand why he used me to achieve his goals since he loved me. He knew that I was not in good health. Jin wants to push me away, and today my child has a miscarriage, so he deserves to say that he loves me? He is hurting me and using me in the name of love, is this considered love?"

"Now, how do you want to take revenge?"

"He said that if I like it, he will cut off half of the river for me to play with! This is what he said, so I have to honor it, right? Now I like this country, and I want to play with this half of the country."

I said this with a sarcastic smile.

"Even if you play this half of the world, what will happen next? Just avenge the child? Can you be happy?" Her hand suddenly squeezed mine tightly, it was very warm, almost warming my cold heart up.

"Madam, do you know? When you said this, your eyes were blurred, complicated, and contradictory. Poor nun knows that you are also struggling in your heart. Poor nun just wants to say that with previous regrets, you should learn a lesson. The same mistake should not be made again.

The greatest pain in the world is that two people who love each other hate and take advantage of each other. Do you really want to solve this tortuous and complicated road with blood?Kill the love that has gone through many vicissitudes?After killing it, you will regret and blame yourself as you did back then. Is this what you want?Hurt others, but also hurt yourself? "

I watched her lips open-closed stiffly, and clenched my hands again, "No, he can't forgive! He has done too many things that I can't forgive!"

The word forgive is so simple, but now that I am riddled with holes, it is simply impossible for me to say forgive!

When she heard this, there was compassion in her eyes, and she held my hand with a little more strength, "Why bother to bury the hatred in my heart all the time, why don't you try to forgive? Only in this way can I return to my original self, and in this way I can be freed. .”

"But I can't find an excuse to forgive him..."

I smiled faintly, and that voice even made me feel confused. Is this just laughter?

Now I can only laugh like this. The old bustard who was originally flamboyant and popular in Jinyun Tower is now like a soulless cripple.

"You know, ma'am, the flames of war are raging everywhere, and the surrounding situation is severe. The situation is like fire and water, and a big war is imminent. However, madam, regardless of the crisis at this time, still creates chaos for the emperor and wants to destroy half of his country. You know that this will cause What a threat? How innocent are the people, does Madam know what great love is?"

Startled suddenly, I jumped up from the cushion seat, "Master Jinghui is serious, An Huaixin is a woman with a bad reputation, how can He De and He Nengke subvert the whole country? The current emperor is a wise lord, He is not only smart but also very capable, isn’t he? He will use everything that is valuable to him, so don’t you worry about winning the little Khitan?”

"Madam seems to have a deep prejudice against the emperor."

Realizing that she was deliberately guiding me, I glanced at her lightly and became a little wary, "Master Jinghui is a monk, I believe he is not a talker, you will not spread the things I talked to you today. yes, right?"

I waved the sleeves of the clothes that were a little dusty, and then straightened the front of the clothes. Looking at her sincere eyes, I gradually let go of my hanging heart, and turned around and walked out of the Kongming Hall.

"The poor nun looks forward to my wife's free time to come to the Kongming Hall for a small sit. The poor nun wants to relieve your demons."

Hearing her voice behind me, my steps didn't stop, I still walked forward a few steps.There were bursts of dark dust on the corner of the skirt, which was a bit pungent.

I don't understand why I said so many hidden words to a person I met for the first time. It's because of her melancholy but with a comforting and compassionate smile that led me to say it to her...but I said it , my mood has indeed improved a lot, and I am no longer as confused and panicked as I used to be.

I left the Kongming Hall with a heavy heart, and continued to walk slowly on the corridors of the palace, wandering slowly.

I don't know how many detours I have made, but I still stay on the corridor of the East Palace, not knowing where to go. It seems that I have forgotten the way back to my bedroom at that moment.

My steps stopped suddenly, my mind went blank, and I was staring fixedly at the vermilion stone pillar beside the veranda. The words of Master Jinghui just now seemed to be deeply planted in my mind and struck on my heart.

I couldn't help but ask myself, if I really lost half of Xiao Jincheng's present status, would I really be happy?

I don't know, I really don't know, I only know that I hate him, hate him for deceiving me, hate him for using me, hate him for killing my child with his own hands, so I want to take revenge on him.

I know that this country is the most important thing in his heart, so I want to destroy his most important thing, just like he destroyed my most important thing.

In the past six months, I have been cultivating my own power, so that I have enough ability to ascend to the position of queen, so that I have more capital to fight against Xiao Jincheng.

I don't believe a single word he once said. I am only allowed to sit in the back seat, and no one else is qualified.When I said this, I was still a little moved, but after a long time, my identity can finally match, and there is no longer any previous obstacle, but he has been silent for a long time!
What, regret it?Hehe, I sneered, even if I regret it, it won't help!
Since he said that only I can sit in the back seat, then I must sit in it, and whoever hinders me will let her disappear.

But thinking about what Master Jinghui said just now, I hesitated again. Am I going to ignore the people for my own self-interest?

Yes, the war between the Southern Dynasties and the Khitan is imminent. What I want is to take advantage of the more chaotic situation at this time to cultivate my own power and take the opportunity to eliminate the ministers in the court who are unfavorable to me. But I did not expect that this would be In the country of disaster, the people are pushed to a place of dire straits.

Am I really blinded by hatred?Since when have I become the "disaster" in the history books?

For the first time, I asked about what I did in the past six months, was it really wrong?Am I really doing something wrong?No, I'm not wrong, does my child deserve to die?

"Niang Niang..." Ning Xiang looked at me who was standing still, and called me softly.

I came back to my senses sadly, and found that I was really out of control now, so I hurriedly sorted out my messy mood, gathered up the shawl and Bai Jintian silk cloak, and prepared to pack up my messy mood and go back to the temple.

However, just as he was about to take a step, he heard whispers coming from another corner of the veranda.

"This time, Mu Tianyan won a big victory. The emperor seems very happy. Hearing from Eunuch Li, the emperor seems to intend to give him the position of prime minister."

A low and delicate murmur came faintly. "If he really sits on the position of prime minister, then the Mu family will have all the power in power. This concubine will definitely gain more momentum, and it will be sooner or later to become the queen!"

Another steady female voice also drifted over.

Recognizing that one of the voices was Wu Jieyu, my lips curved slightly, and I slowed down and walked towards the corner, listening carefully to what they were going to say next.

"Queen? Huh!" A sneer, "She also needs to be able to conceive a dragon son. If she conceives a dragon son, she may not be able to have a prince. She is still far away from being a queen."

"I've heard that this concubine is An Huaixin, the concubine of Zhenbei. It's just that the emperor dotes on her, so he conceals her identity as a fugitive concubine. Judging from the current degree of the emperor's love for her, it's just waiting for the emperor to dote on her. She gave birth to a dragon son, and it is justifiable to make her the empress..." Wu Jieyu relaxed her voice a little anxiously, "Now the concubine Xian is in the harem - she is the only one in the harem, and she has Mu Tianyan's support in the court, if she does it again I'm afraid we won't have a good life if we become a queen! Don't forget, there used to be rumors outside about An Huai Xin that if this kind of woman really becomes a queen, we will have a bad life, so we must think about it. Way to stop her..."

"You don't have to worry about this. She has a close relationship with Mu Tianyan and often has private contacts. We can use this matter to make a big fuss... For example, there is an adulterous relationship between Concubine Xian and Lord Mu...you also I know, if she is really An Huai Xin, then this kind of woman the emperor will definitely doubt..."

I listened meaningfully to them talking about me and Tianyan with great interest. When they were still complacent about thinking of a clever plan, I had already turned around the corner, and what caught my eyes was the fragrant temples and clouds, and the charming eyes. The noble lady of water and jade, smiling in the wind, the elegant and noble Wu Jieyu.

I stepped on tired steps, and said calmly with an unwavering voice, "When planning to plot against others, it is best to first see if there is anyone around."

The smilers on the faces of the two of them stiffened, looking sideways at me walking towards them, their faces pale.

After a long while, they came back to their senses, knelt on the ground one by one, and said tremblingly, "The concubine sees the virtuous concubine."

"How dare I accept such a big gift?" I walked in front of them, my voice was still the same, I glanced down at the two people on the ground who were already sweating, "What did I hear just now? Who is talking to Mr. Mu?" adultery?"