A deep love: Thousands of stars are not as good as you

I stared at the direction Qin Xiao was leaving in a daze, and became dazed.

It's not that I haven't thought about what Qin Xiao said, nor have I never pursued the truth.It's just that after some investigations and unable to find the true meaning, I have chosen to give up.

But today, a chance meeting made me unexpectedly know that there was another mystery behind An Jinnian's departure.

The heart that was eager to know the truth, jumped happily in the chest cavity involuntarily the moment Qin Xiao said the words.

Five years, I have been waiting for five full years for this truth.

During the five years when An Jinnian left, no one knows better than me how I got here.How sad it must be for a person to survive five long years with only memories.

When everything in the world is not as important as that shadow in my heart, what kind of powerlessness should it be?I used to use all my powerlessness to describe the stories in my pen, just for peace of mind.

But now, my heart is in a mess like a knife, my original intention has changed, and my old heart has become cold.

I don't know how long I sat in the coffee shop, the people around me gradually went away, but I was still looking at the same place absent-mindedly, even though the room was full of hustle and bustle, it couldn't disturb me for a bit.

I seem to have lost the shell of my soul, autonomously shielding all the chaos, leaving only the empty shell sitting in place, lost my mind.

"Sister Lin, what's the matter with you." The green voice rang beside my ears, and Xi Shengsheng moved from the seat in front to face me and asked.

His eyes glanced at him inadvertently, his thoughts turned, and he just wanted to open his mouth to answer.But I found that the words stuck in my throat couldn't make a sound, as if my throat was blocked with something, no matter how I opened my mouth, I couldn't make a sound.

"Sister Lin, your complexion is very bad..." Xi Shengsheng reminded in a low voice, "Should I take you to the hospital?"

The tightness in my chest made it difficult for me to breathe. I looked at him and shook my head weakly.

There are many things that cannot be explained to others, let alone a child who has just grown up and is asking questions at this moment.

Sadness welled up in my throat, I swallowed, tried my best to hide the discomfort in my heart, and after a long while, I leisurely opened my mouth, "You...why haven't you left yet."

"I thought something was wrong with you, Sister Lin, so I sat down and observed for a while, Sister Lin, that just now..." He looked at me meaningfully, "Is that your boyfriend?"

The smell of gossip is slowly rising. Sure enough, people who gossip are regardless of age.

I looked at him amusedly, and said, "You little brat, what nonsense are you talking about!"

He lowered his head in embarrassment, and whispered, "It's not uncommon for someone as beautiful as Sister Lin to have a handsome boyfriend, and I think the one who got away is really handsome."

The mood improved for a moment, I looked at him with a smile, and corrected me, "you can eat indiscriminately, but you can't talk indiscriminately. Your sister and I have a boyfriend, so we can't label you indiscriminately."

"Then why did you look very disappointed when he left, Sister Lin?"

"Cough... gossip is not good. Besides, how can a man gossip better than me."

"Hey... Sister Lin, I was wrong."

"By the way, what was your original name? I can't just call you a joke in the future. It sounds weird."

"Eh..." Xiren gave me a hard look, and then said in a daze, "My real name is Xu Yiyi, and one is a capital one, pronounced four times, and there is another one, which means one, two, three, one." .”

"Xu Yiyi..." I repeated it twice, "It sounds a bit like a girl's name."

"When my mother gave birth to me, she said she wanted a daughter, so she named me Xu Yiyi, saying that if she could have a son and a daughter in the future, it would be just right." Xu Yiyi mentioned the origin of his name. At that moment, his face blushed uncommonly.

"Not bad! Then did your mother give birth to a younger sister for you?" I asked with interest.

"Well, she gave birth." Xu Yi nodded, "Then name her Xu Yishuang."

I laughed, "Then you brothers and sisters have never resisted."

Xu Yiyi lowered his face and said embarrassedly, "I have resisted, but my mother said that resistance is useless."

"Hehe..." I smiled lightly and comforted me, "Actually, the name Xu Yiyi is quite nice."

His eyes lit up, he stared at me with wide eyes, and asked, "Really?"

"Well, really." I nodded.

The time has slipped from morning to afternoon without knowing it, and the people in the coffee shop are gradually thinning out.

For some reason, I always feel that my heart is wrapped in an inexplicable melancholy, as if surrounded by a huge conspiracy, and I can't get out.

Qin Xiao's words are still in my ears, and even the profound look he gave me when he left is so thought-provoking.

The people around them are all changing themselves in an extremely fast way, An Jinnian is like this, Shen Ke is like this, Qin Xiao is like this...

They are like two people with dual personalities, sometimes cold and sometimes hot, making it difficult for people to approach and distinguish.

I think, I always don't understand them.

When he returned to Jiangzhou, he met Shen Ke who was heartless, lingering in flowers and plants all day long, lying drunk on the lap of beauties.But now, he has become a member of the blacklist in the difficult and domineering society.

Even though he had made it clear to me that night, I still couldn't easily believe that he would let it go.

I have never seen Shen Ke's persistence, but I know his temperament very well. A person like him who would rather die than have a better life for the other party, how could he complete me and An Jinnian just like that.

And An Jinnian, that man who can only be gentle with me, in the last meeting, treated me as cold as ice, like a stranger.If his familiar face hadn't been clearly imprinted in my mind, I'm afraid I would have said that he was not An Jinnian in front of everyone at that time.

Thinking about it now, I was really stupid at that time, to doubt his identity just based on An Jinnian's attitude.

"Sister Lin, it's getting late. I have class in the afternoon, so I have to go." Xu Yiyi stood up, smiled at me politely, and said, "See you next time."

"Well, okay, see you next time." I answered concisely and watched him walk away.

My world was quiet again, and the business card I was holding tightly in my hand had been squeezed into a ball inadvertently.

Quickly checking out and leaving became the quickest thing I did today.

But as soon as I left the coffee shop, I was like a child who lost his way, standing in the center of the downtown, not knowing where to go or where to go.

Just at this time, the phone rang, and when I picked it up, it was a completely unfamiliar phone number.

I hesitated to pick it up, but An Jinnian's slightly deep voice came from the other end of the phone, "Lin Xi, it's me."

"Jinnian." I haven't had a good word with him for a few days, when I suddenly received a call from him, I was overwhelmed with excitement, "Where are you, Jinnian?"

"I'm at home." An Jinnian's voice was very low, "How are you?"

"Not good..." I said aggrieved. "Where are you, I want to see you."

"Hey, don't make trouble, Lin Xi, I'm a little busy these days, I'll see you when I'm free."

"Busy, are you busy on TV, are there any major news headlines?" My voice was a little cold, "An Jinnian, it was you who said we wanted to reconcile, and you were the one who admitted our relationship, and finally left Mine is still you. After all these years, can’t you say you love me openly? Can’t you be with me well?” The ever-increasing tone became more and more sad in the subsequent words.

Perhaps it was disturbed by Qin Xiao's words, so after hearing An Jinnian's voice, I could no longer suppress the sadness welling up in my heart and choked up.

"Lin Xi, I'm sorry..., everything I did was because of you..."

The voice stopped abruptly, and the phone was cut off by An Jinnian.I looked at the light of the phone screen gradually dimming, and lost my mind again.

He said, I'm sorry, all I did was because of you...

No matter when and where, he always has a reason to express his sorry, and always has an excuse to push me away.

An Jinnian, you are always so self-righteous, but why do you think that what you want to give is what I want.

……

When I got home, the night was dark, Xu Yan's house was closed, and the corridor was dark.I walked slowly in the corridor with very light steps, every step I took was so cautious.

An hour ago, I saw on the news that the CEO of An's Group had an affair with a certain wealthy daughter.But not long ago, he swore to me on the phone, sorry, everything I did was because of you.

Because of me?It turned out that what he said was because of me, he just came with other women to hurt my heart.

For a moment, I even wanted to tell him, An Jinnian, from now on, I will give up on you...

Some words are very simple when you think about them, but when you really want to say them, you can't say anything.Even the hand that edited the text message was trembling because of the content of the text message, unable to press the send button.

The final farewell ended with my failure.

In a very bad mood, I took a bag of snacks and beer that I had never drunk before, and went to the sky.

Sitting on the smooth and rough concrete floor, looking up at the night sky without starlight, I let tears flow from my eyes.

The high-hanging half-autumn moon exudes a soft light, which blends with the lights on the roadside.A little moonlight sprinkled on my face, but it was a little bleak.

I've never drank alcohol, but this time I actually broke my drinking because of An Jinnian's scandal.I think back when An Jinnian left, no matter how sad or heartbroken I was, I never wanted to get drunk to relieve my worries like now.

It is said on TV that alcohol can relieve sorrow. I, who used to despise this view, firmly believe it at this moment.

When the wine enters the throat, one knows deeply.

I thought, I must have loved An Jinnian so much that I allowed myself to sink and fall again and again.

After drinking a can of beer, I was already drowsy. Wherever I looked, there were dazzling double images. I waved my hand impatiently, taking advantage of the drunkenness, to have a drunken madness that belonged only to me. .

"An Jinnian..." I chanted this name that I regarded as a treasure countless times, and my heart was slowly filled with bitterness.

His sluggish mind regained consciousness because of the name, and he still muttered, "Jin Nian, An Jin Nian, why, why did you treat me like this..."