God level funny comparison system

He didn't know how long he had been trampled by those girls. Anyway, when the crowd dispersed, Zhang Long felt that even his father would not be able to recognize him at this moment.

Then he dragged his almost useless body, and staggered away in the setting sun.

He was still holding the electric wand in his hand. On the street he walked, the traffic was rampant, and the crowd looked sideways, which almost caused a traffic accident.

The next day, a piece of news swept across the country's major media and many portal websites with lightning speed.

The news reads like this:
"Yesterday at noon, a seemingly brain-dead male student in Jiangcheng City showed his love to a female teacher, and the gift he gave was an electric wand for women. I have seen such a deadly thing, but I have never seen such a deadly one. It is fresh and refined, and I can't wait for it. The brain is full of sperm. Afterwards, this brain-dead man was trampled on by hundreds of female students for three hours, with more than 600 feet in his body, and a blood hole was knocked out of his forehead by the high-heeled shoes of the female teacher. It is rumored that the heel has seven inch long!"

Zhang Long was so angry that he turned purple and wanted to die.

In Zhang Long's rented house, he was standing on the balcony, the sun was rising, the warm sun was shining on the earth in midsummer, a hundred flowers were in full bloom, and everything was full of vitality.

But Zhang Long's heart was shattered!
"Death is so cheap, do you have any female family members?" He looked at the rising sun on the Eastern Tianshan Peak, and asked indifferently, his eyes were empty, and he looked like he was about to die.

"Why do you ask this?" In the sea of ​​consciousness, the little girl kicked her calf and asked casually.

Zhang Long did not respond, then suddenly raised his right hand, raised his middle finger, and shouted righteously to the sun: "O sun, I swear to you with my life, pour your power into my middle finger, and condolences to the dead. Despise all the female family members of the direct line, collateral line, and side lineage!"

In the sea of ​​consciousness, the little girl's pink face suddenly became gloomy again, and then there was a crackling sound.

Four or five transparent fists were shining brightly in the sun, and Zhang Long was beaten in the midst of the shining light.

A few minutes later, Zhang Long was lying on the balcony with a pig's head on his head, his eyes filled with tears like being raped.

"Okay, don't cry, I didn't control it just now..." came the little girl's soft voice.

"Puchi!" Zhang Long vomited blood.

"Well, since you performed well yesterday and successfully completed the last task of the first stage, now the reward is here, please accept it!" The little girl pouted, and finally said something that made Zhang Long feel better.

Zhang Long is still very interested in the so-called rewards of this damn system.

Although his eyes were empty, Zhang Long's consciousness was still focused on the sea of ​​consciousness. The little girl waved her hand, and a poker card appeared in Zhang Long's sea of ​​consciousness.

On the white card were written two big ink-colored characters flying like dragons and phoenixes... Piano apprentice!
Zhang Long's little interest was shaken at once, and the two pandas blinked, wondering: "Pianist? Is this something magical?"

"It's the skill of playing the piano." The girl said indifferently.

"..." Zhang Long opened his mouth wide, and his empty eyes were completely desperate. He was dazed for a few seconds before he said in an extremely depressed mood: "Is there something wrong with you? Why do I need the skill of playing the piano? You want me Entering the music industry? Then you might as well just let me sing!"

The more Zhang Long spoke, the more excited he became, the figure lying on the ground bounced up suddenly, and began to gesticulate with his teeth and claws, and his voice turned into a growl: "Your sister! Play the piano, please, ahaha, I am a man, not a transvestite. Do you want me to pull off the belt to prove it to you? You let me play the piano like a woman, play your sister! What era is this, the age of force and technology, you fucking let me play the piano? You Why don't you just let me do it!"

Zhang Long suddenly had a feeling of wanting to cry but no tears.

In the sea of ​​consciousness, the little girl was kicking her calves, holding a nail clipper in her hand and was manicuring her nails. She said with an indifferent look: "It's a card issued by the system. It's useless for you to yell at me."

"..." His expression froze for a moment, and Zhang Long lay back on the ground again, intending to lie down until the earth was destroyed.

"Oh, don't do this." The girl's clear and clear voice came again, but it sounded like a devil in Zhang Long's ears, "The piano playing skills in this card are different from what you think, as long as you use this card in the future You will understand when your level rises."

The little girl continued: "Now that you have officially passed the test period and entered the first level, this card is your reward. However, this card only has a combat power of level one. To upgrade the combat power of the card, you need Do other tasks."

"In addition, as long as you quickly reach the second level, you will be given two skill cards at the same time, three for the third level, and so on. Moreover, the issued cards can be used permanently."

"Oh, by the way, since your current level is too rubbish, after using this card once, you have to wait three days before you can use it for the second time, and even if the card is upgraded, it can only be upgraded to level two, which will be limited by the level of the original card. Yes. In the future, when your level increases, and then continue to upgrade this card, the power will become stronger, and the interval time will be shortened. Work hard, Sao Nian."

Speaking of this, the expression of the little girl in the sea of ​​consciousness suddenly changed. She raised her childlike eyes to look at the boundless void of the sea of ​​consciousness, her voice became a little sad, and said leisurely: "When you reach fifty The biggest test for you is when you are at the first level, at that time, I will take you to another place..."

The girl was talking endlessly, but Zhang Long basically didn't listen to it. When he heard the previous sentence "I still need to do other tasks", Zhang Long's mood sank as soon as he recovered a bit.

"Death is so cheap, you lied to me again." Looking at the void in front of him sadly, Zhang Long said dully, then suddenly stared and shouted: "Didn't you fucking say that the damn mission yesterday was the last one? Didn't you fucking say From today on, can I be so awesome? Why Mao still has tasks? Why did Mao give Laozi a skill card to play the piano?"

"Giggle..." Feeling Zhang Long's crazy look, the little girl's dejected expression changed, and she fell down laughing again, out of breath, and said: "You, you are so stupid, you believe what I say Ah! You are so naive! To be honest, let me tell you the truth, the first hundred days were just a test, and the real mission has just begun. And there are three types, one is regular upgrade missions, used to earn experience For upgrading, one is physical tasks, which are used to earn power stones to upgrade cards, and the other is realm tasks, which exercise your ability to understand the truth, and all tasks must not be resisted, I will still be responsible for supervising you, for life Do not change."

"..." Listening to the dizzying tasks, Zhang Long suddenly felt that his whole life was over.

"God... kill me!"

"Hehe..." The little girl smiled like a demon, "Don't shout, there is no god in this world, I am your god."

……

"Okay, the joke is over, it's time for you to go to school." The little girl in the sea of ​​consciousness suddenly became serious, with a stern look on her little face.

Zhang Long, who was on the verge of collapse, obviously didn't realize the danger was coming, and continued to murmur with a vegetative expression: "Fuck your sister! I fucking want to fuck you! Do you think I still have the mood and face to go to school? You just Let me die in this house, Assi!"

"You pervert, I'm a child, and you want to fuck too? Find a fight!" The little girl cried out, and Zhang Long's sea of ​​consciousness suddenly showed countless dazzling blue currents, like hundreds of millions of spirit snakes. , and instantly spread in all directions.

"Huh... ah..." Zhang Long let out a scream like killing a pig. The figure that had just stood upright suddenly burst into a large blue light. The dragon just slanted his mouth and eyes, and fell down foaming at the mouth.

After 10 minutes, Zhang Long's trembling hands like chicken feet finally stopped, then got up silently, and went downstairs to go to school.

His arms can't hold his thighs, so let's be obedient. Anyway, since yesterday, his face has been lost, so there is nothing to be afraid of.

In the past 10 minutes, his charred figure has returned to normal, and even the scars left on his body from yesterday have disappeared.This is the healing function of the Zhijian system. If it weren't for this healing function, even if Zhang Long was an iron man, he would have been turned into a fool long ago.

"Hey, that's right. Don't worry, the new task is being programmed, and you can relax for a few days." Looking at Zhang Long who had already gone downstairs, the little girl said quite gently.

Zhang Long didn't respond, and walked quickly with his head bowed. In his heart, the word "death to cheapness" had been listed as a sworn enemy, and he had nothing else to say except insulting him in the most vicious language.

When he came downstairs, Zhang Long took out his second-hand bicycle that he had just bought from the parking space, and walked away shaking with a clatter.