Chapter 276 Blood, Soaked Clothes
"Liu Li."

Her throat moved slightly, and the girl's name came out slightly between her lips and teeth.

Sakakihara Raku stood in front of the love hotel room and saw Amami Jiururi holding a fruit knife in front of her.There was a look of helplessness in his eyes.

This is also a very likely situation.

He wasn't too surprised.

"Lejun, I'm sorry."

In front of her eyes, the rainwater crawled from the girl's wet school uniform sleeves to the back of her hand, and then slid from the back of the hand to the tip of the knife, until a cold line flowed on the stainless steel surface.

Tianhai Jiuliuli's hand was trembling, and the water droplets falling on the tip of the knife were trembling at the same speed.

Slowly, trembling, she raised the knife towards herself.

"Liu Li."

Obviously the light in the room is not clear, but Sakakihara Raku can still see her reflection reflected on the crooked blade.

Tianhai Jiuliuli still lowered her head, it was a face that could not be seen clearly.

With Liuli's personality, it was impossible for her to make this move towards herself.

But she still raised the knife tremblingly.

"Lejun, I'm sorry."

She was still afraid, and the trembling fruit knife reflected her true inner thoughts.

Even if she raised the knife to herself, she still said apologetic words in her mouth.

she knows.

She knew she shouldn't have lifted that thing toward herself.

Sakakihara Raku breathed with a calm expression, and he could hear the weeping and trembling of Tianhai Jiururi in front of him, which was almost suffocating.

".If you want to stab me, just stab me. I won't hide."

This sentence made Tianhai Jiuliuli startled again, and it took a long time before he regained his composure and looked at him:

".why."

She spoke in a low voice, trying her best to endure the choked voice.

Sakakihara Raku waited for her to continue speaking.

".Why do you say those things to me, everyone, everyone, can't you be together? Obviously, obviously, in the past two months, everyone has been happily together, forming a band together, performing on stage together, and traveling together , take photos together at scenic spots, and leave good memories together.”

".Yes, everyone has been very happy in the past two months. The trip and the MV were very successful. We have spent the past two months like this. However, Liuli, everyone is happy, but it does not mean that things are not going well. It happened. So, after thinking about it, I decided to tell you."

Why can he say these things to me?
Doesn't he know how important he is to him?
It is he who has been encouraging himself, it is he who is willing to stand up for himself on the day when his mother slapped him mercilessly, it is him, he is willing to forgive himself regardless of the past, and forgive his wrong actions.

forgive?

Yes, it must be.

In fact, my brother never forgave himself.

All along, I still have a grudge against myself!

That's why I calmly said to myself just now that I was dating Qiyue.

That's why he lied to himself, he lied to himself.
lied to myself
He still lied to himself.

Just like my mother, I lied to myself
Tianhai Jiuliuli raised her face, it was a face that was still beautiful in tears.

She clenched the trembling fruit knife with both hands, her eyes were still red.

"Brother, you must still be angry, right?"

"Why are you still thinking about this?" Sakakihara tried to approach her.

"Brother, you must still be angry, right?" Tianhai Jiuliuli raised the fruit knife a little bit higher, forcing Sakakihara to stop.

"Liuli, I don't deny that I was very angry—"

"It's because my brother is still angry with me, so he did this to me? Because I am not very important to everyone, because I am not very liked by everyone. Ling didn't like me, seven Yue didn't like me, my aunt couldn't talk to me, and even Le Jun hated me."

"I never denied you! Even at that time, I thought you had a reason to do that to me."

"How can I trust you now! You have been lying to me all the time!"

Tianhai Jiuliuli yelled out loudly, her voice tearing in pain.

It is too dangerous for Tianhai Jiuliuli, who is emotionally unstable, to hold a knife in her hand, and Sakakihara wants to take the opportunity to pull the knife out of her hand.

"do not come!"

"Then why is Liuli willing to believe me?"

Sakakihara Raku went straight over.

"Don't come here!!" Tianhai Jiuliuli's voice became a little louder, pointing the tip of the knife at his eyes.

Sakakihara Raku stopped walking.

"Liuli, I understand how you feel at this time because I was in the same way before, very painful and uncomfortable, and kept denying myself. But now I understand what I did, so I won't try to justify anything. You want to leave I, I will also respect your choice, but now, I think you should put down the knife, now your mood is very unstable, don't do some impulsive things."

"Stable.? Am I unstable?"

The girl suddenly froze.

Seeing that what he said had an effect, Sakakibara added, "Yes, Liuli, you just got caught in the rain, are you cold? Are you uncomfortable? Why don't you put down the knife and talk?"

Tianhai Jiuliuli sniffed, her eyes were red, and her nose was sore, she laughed:

"Le Jun is still telling me how to be stable, I don't want to see you at all now."

"There are many ways to solve the matter. If you don't want to see me, I will leave immediately, and you will also put down the knife. Please calm down, okay? I am still very worried about you. I know you don't want to talk to me. I will ask Ah Ling to accompany me. How about you? She likes you recently, and she even called you Sister Liuli. Liuli, I always hope that you can make your own choices, whether you choose to leave me or try to continue."

Le Jun is still saying these words.

Le Jun is still thinking about making his own choice.

Why why why why why.

Why are you still saying this to yourself!
Tianhai Jiuliuli closed her sour eyes, recalling in her mind the passage from childhood to adulthood.

选择
Do you have any choice?

piano?

This is from my mother.

Even the techniques are taught by my mother.

She told me that I am very talented and that I am the most likely person in this century to win the world championship with the youngest complete victory posture.

I still remember that when my mother said these words, her expression was full of longing, confidence and courage.

At that time, I can't help but look at my hands and ask myself.

'Really, can it be done? '

'Really, can this be done for mom? '

After discovering my mood, my mother smiled and said to me, "Yes, as long as it is Liuli, it will definitely be possible." '

After hearing my mother's words, I felt a flame in my heart. The flame made my heart beat faster, made my body temperature hot, and filled me with the power to move forward.

yes i can.

Glass can do it.

'As long as this is done, I will take Liuli to see the place where my mother lives in England. It is a long street with red maple leaves on both sides and cafes full of customers. Every autumn When it comes, the whole street is full of the smell of maple leaves and coffee.Over there, there is a wishing fountain full of white doves, a ground paved with cobblestones polished by time, street artists in kilts playing bagpipes every afternoon, painters sketching, and pianists Play Beethoven's Ode to Joy for everyone on the side of the road. Everyone likes the air here, the season when the maple trees are full of red leaves, and the quiet and beautiful maple leaf street. '

Since my mother said this to me, I have been looking forward to the day when she can take me there.

Take a look at the red leaves all over the street, take a look at the fountain surrounded by white pigeons, take a look at the street that has been polished to shine by time
This sentence made me want to let her take me there every time I saw my mother standing on the plane and leaving in the wind.

I wanted to call my mother and ask her, 'Can you take me there? '

However, every time the response I get is always a flat one: "Liuli can go with her mother if she works harder." '

Try harder.

Try harder.

This vision has been with me for 12 years.

In 12 years, in fact, at this time, I already understood that my mother might be lying to myself.

She never planned to take herself out, never planned to fulfill what she said.She probably forgot, maybe that place was made up by her, she just wanted to pass a wish, so that she could take the initiative to move forward in her direction and move forward according to her expectations.
At the very beginning, my mother would occasionally take me out to eat, and would buy me some gadgets for me.
But until later, because of the downturn in her mother's career, she became more and more irritable.

Not only was she disappointed and sighed that I hadn't accomplished her goal, but because I hadn't accomplished her goal, she negated the promise she had made at the beginning, and she denied the request to take me to the playground to play the game console.

She is willing to give herself less and less
But why do I continue to follow my mother's words?
Because I think, except that I can play the melody of the piano with both hands now, there is no other reason to move on.

I don't know what I want.

I don't understand why July can keep reading so intently.

I don't understand why July resolutely ran out alone after returning from a trip.

She and I were both only five years old at the time.

Seeing my sister grabbing the money she stole from her father, watching her run out of the house resolutely, seeing her running on the road, running into the distance, until she completely disappeared from my sight.
The back view of my sister, the firm words my sister said to me before I left, my sister shook her head without listening to my dissuasion.

I still remember that I was leaning over the second floor of the villa, by the window of my father's study room, watching the way July left with my own eyes.

I envy her very much.

I envy my sister very much.

I also really want to be like July, and like her, I can have the same motivation to persevere in one thing.

Have dreams, goals, and expectations.

And pay infinite power for it.

For me at that time, the only person who could allow me to achieve this condition was my mother.

So, I stuck to the idea my mother gave me.

So even after I realized that my mother was lying to me, and that she was just using me and her identity as a mother, I was still willing to continue.

Because I believe that as long as I fulfill my mother's last wish, she will definitely take me to the place full of maple leaves and the place where Ode to Joy is played.

Because I know that although my mother has been using me, I am still her daughter, even if there is only a little bit in her heart.

However, on that day, I overheard a conversation between my mother and my brother.

That day I realized that my mother had already forgotten her previous promise, and all she had left was to use her motherhood.

She said mercilessly, never treating herself as a daughter.

What she saw in me was only talent, only learning ability, and only dreams that she could not achieve when she was young.

She never regarded herself as a daughter.

So, on that day, I cried out.

Fortunately!

That day, a person who understood me suddenly appeared.

He is still angry with me, I did such an excessive thing to him, he even said that he would never forgive me, but he was still willing to come over that day, when I was crying in the corner, and give A hug for me to relax.

I still remember the feeling at that time.

So warm.
Being approached slowly by him, being said that I haven't forgiven you yet, he took the initiative to pull me into his arms.

I tightly pulled the clothes on his chest, squeezed my head into his arms, tears fell on his clothes unstoppable.

Seeing that I was crying so hard, he patted my back with his hands
That kind of hugging himself in his arms and comforting him carefully.

I always remember.

From that day on, I noticed that he had changed a lot in my eyes.

He has become more handsome!It's getting sunnier!

Become more beautiful smile.

Every time I see him secretly, my heart beats faster, and every time I eat the food he cooks for me, I feel a warm current in my heart.

I really want to get close to him.

I really want to be close to him.

Fortunately, I want to hug, I really want him to treat me well.

And whenever I was still struggling with whether I was forgiven by him, he would smile and tell me it was okay.
Nothing
This is such a heavy sentence for me.

He had previously moved because of this.

For this reason, I moved away from the home that I have been working hard for!
Because of my own mistake.
I have seen him lock himself in the room without eating or drinking, and have seen the door of his room kept closed.

Seeing his calm face, and then deciding to move out of the family.

sorry.
I'm really sorry.
——Facing the smile he smiled at me later, the feeling I wanted to say to him in my heart became more urgent.

The guilt, the warmth, the support and care he gave.

It makes me extremely firm - I can completely trust him!
I have really found the way to go on that I have never been able to find since I was a child!
I like him.

Want to see him move forward, see him move forward with himself
But, in the end.

It's all fake.
"Liuli, Liuli." Sakakihara Raku called the name of the girl with firm eyes who held her hand.

He is far less like his sister, far less in tune with him than his sister, far less happy than his sister can make him.

Dad has Aunt Sakakibara.

Mom, I also concentrate on my career.

My younger sister also got her persistence all the time.

Only oneself is redundant.

extra.
Yes, redundant.

Tianhai Jiuliuli sucked in the cold air, tried her best to hold back her tears, and turned her eyes and the tip of the knife to Sakakihara Raku:
"Mr Le."

"What does Liuli want to ask?" Sakakibara was happy to see that she seemed to have calmed down a lot.

"To Le Jun, what am I?"

".There are too many things to say. In short, it is very important. If you don't believe it, I will try my best to defend it."

"Is that so? I'm relieved. Actually, I'm not qualified to question you at all, Le Jun. I understand."

Sakakihara also took a deep breath, "Of course you are qualified to question me, after all, I concealed it from you."

"Um"

"Are you feeling better?"

"It's better." Tianhai Jiuliuli said quietly.

"That's good, how about you put the knife down. Of course, if you want to stab me, then you can come here as long as you can calm down."

"No need, Le Jun." Tianhai Jiuliuli shook his head, "Le Jun, I really don't want to make the atmosphere like it is now."

"How about putting that knife down?"

".it is good."

Tianhai Jiuliuli agreed in such a low voice, relaxed the knife from the raised state, and her tone slowed down.

Sakakihara was pleased to see that she seemed to have calmed down a lot, and he also breathed a sigh of relief, slowly approaching her, "But I still have to say sorry to you, Liuli."

"I want to know. Can you tell me why you agreed to July?"

". At first I was threatened by July, but then I gradually understood the feelings of July, and I also remembered the things when I was a child. Indeed, I am very sorry for her."

"Sure enough. That's true." Tianhai Jiuliuli lowered her hands, her whole body was in a powerless state, "So, you can't really blame Le Jun, can you? After all, Le Jun told Qiyue a long time ago Having said so much, it's no wonder that she would go to Shikoku Island to find you after she came back in July, after all, after thinking about it, there is no way."

"...you can't say it's not my fault."

"Le Jun, what are you thinking now? To me, to July."

"...I said this to July. I can only give half of my love for her."

"So, July promised you?"

"I don't know, but let's say I agreed. She didn't do anything after that."

"July. There must be some conditions for Le Jun, right?"

"Yes. If you have anything to say, Liuli, you can tell me now."

"Request. Yes, in fact, you can still ask Le Jun. Le Jun, you must promise me everything now, right?"

"Yes, you can tell me whatever you want, and I will agree."

"However, Le Jun, who has already promised to July, is no longer willing to break the promise."

"Varied--"

Sakakihara Raku's pupils suddenly widened, and Tianhai Jiuliuli, who seemed very weak at first, suddenly raised the fruit knife and stabbed it towards her body.

"Wait--"

I didn't even have time to say the words.

Blood stained her wet white shirt.

(End of this chapter)

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