tokyo first love

Chapter 352 Don't Want to Lose You (5K)

Getting along and contacting people is not just about appearance and material support, the key is feeling.

Sometimes, the atmosphere, the timing, the right emotion, even simple holding hands and touching the head can make people extremely happy and happy.

"I absolutely want to be with her!"

Just a kiss, a slightly shy and evasive words directly ignited Kurosawa Hikaru's heart.

At that moment just now, he couldn't even describe how charming Miss Ninomiya was.

But at that moment, it felt like when he fell into the cliff and lost all thoughts, a hand suddenly stretched out and pulled him up, as if he had been reborn in a lifetime.

"How could he be like this..."

The mouth to mouth kiss made Ninomiya Chizuru's mind go blank.

Because Kurosawa changed the way he addressed her, and even acted like a baby to her, she couldn't hold on to her psychological defense, so her heart softened.

But her soft heart was to agree to him and let him kiss his face, it wasn't a kiss at all.

Still, the kiss felt so good.

The scorching breath, the touch of soft skin, like a warm current pouring into her icy body, very comfortable.

This kiss lasted for more than ten seconds before Kurosawa stopped.

With the separation of her lips, Ninomiya Chizuru still had some unfinished thoughts. After she came to her senses, she raised her eyes and met a pair of beautiful eyes that were as black as ink.

Eyes are the windows of the soul... Through these eyes, she can feel Kurosawa's hot and strong love.

"I want to go back."

Seeing this scene, Ninomiya Chizuru woke up instantly, her heart was flustered, she was even a little scared, she turned around and left immediately.

But the moment she turned around and took a step, a hand suddenly reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"do not go."

Immediately afterwards, an eager urgency to stay sounded from behind, causing Ninomiya Chizuru's actions to stop.

"..."

Ninomiya Chizuru instinctively wanted to turn back, but she still restrained her inner impulse, shook her head, and struggled to move forward.

"Are you leaving again?"

Hikaru Kurosawa, who stood still and pulled her wrist, felt her weak struggle, and couldn't help saying.

With such strength alone, it was impossible for her to escape his palm... But that struggling movement was very hurtful.

Is it because my behavior just now was too aggressive?
But he couldn't help it. Feeling her closeness and pampering, how could he remain rational.

Hearing these distressing words, Ninomiya Chizuru couldn't help turning her head to look at him after all.

"Kurosawa, I'm afraid that I will hurt you by going back and forth like before."

Facing his persuasive and expectant eyes, Ninomiya Chizuru couldn't help but said.

"Break out?"

When Kurosawa heard this, his expression was a little stunned.

"I was sorry that day. I thought I could accept that you had three girlfriends and that you were a playboy, so I mustered up the courage to kiss you... But I found that I couldn't bear it at all, and I couldn't bear it anymore. I can't accept such a thing, and it hurts you."

After all, it was face to face, Ninomiya Chizuru saw that he was unconscious, took a deep breath and confided his heart.

At that time, she was on the verge of a mental breakdown and couldn't bear such a blow at all, so she chose to turn around and leave.

But when she turned around, facing Kuisawa's persuasion, she avoided again and again.

Every time she thinks about this incident, she feels pain and guilt.

If she could have thought earlier that she couldn't accept it at all, if she didn't kiss Heisawa, she wouldn't be like this.

"You don't have to say sorry."

Hearing these words, Kurosawa let go of her wrist and stopped holding her.

When a person wants to leave, even if you use all means to keep her and imprison her, there is no way to destroy her will.

"Kurozawa, I'm afraid I'll hurt you again...can you give me some time to think clearly?"

Realizing that he let go, Ninomiya Chizuru felt that his mood was depressed, and while explaining, she begged.

"How long do you need? A day? A month? A year? A lifetime?"

Kurosawa took a deep breath, stood with his hands in his pockets, and looked at her with complicated eyes.

During this period of time, he has thought of many ways to reconcile with Qianhe.

Until today, after hearing the voice of Fujiwara Rokka in the office, he thought he had found the right way forward, that is to admit his mistakes and express his sincerity of repentance, which would definitely prevent the meeting of several girlfriends.

But in the end, the fundamental reason why Qianhe kept a distance from him was not because of this incident, but because of his character.

It is a truth that a smart person can learn to make a decision before acting, and he naturally understands it.

But this principle does not apply to most situations in reality, especially love relationships.

If someone can retreat completely in love, grasp the propriety, and wait calmly, it can only show that this person does not love the other party at all.

It is precisely because he loves Ninomiya Chizuru deeply that he makes many decisions and actions without consideration and calm thinking.

"I don't know. You kissed me just now. I wasn't angry. In fact, I was very happy. But we can't do this before I'm sure I can accept it. That's too hasty."

Facing his questioning, Ninomiya Chizuru was at a loss and explained.

In all fairness, she really wanted to hug Kurosawa, act together like before, travel together, play together, and make progress together.

But she knew very well that this was acting on impulse regardless of the consequences.

"We must see the result clearly before we can reconcile? Do you only read the last page of the book?"

Kurosawa stared at her, unable to help himself.

It is very unrealistic to look at the result before starting, unless you have the super power to predict the future.

"Kurosawa, I'm afraid I'll delay you."

Facing his pleading and eager eyes, Ninomiya Chizuru was at a loss for words, and then smiled wryly.

"Are you afraid that you will delay me?"

As soon as this remark came out, Kurosawa seemed to have heard a joke, and was suddenly amused, the corners of his mouth slightly raised, confirming.

"I'm afraid that if we don't have a future, I'm afraid that we will be separated in the end... What I'm most afraid of is that I will hurt you again."

Seeing his sudden smile, Ninomiya Chizuru's heart trembled, and she hastily added.

"it is good."

Hearing such words, Kurosawa stared at her, thought for a long time, and nodded slightly.

Seeing the change in his expression, Ninomiya Chizuru couldn't help but thump in her heart.

What kind of expression change was that... from self-deprecating and ridiculous, to guilt, sadness, regret, and a deep sense of powerlessness.

"Kurosawa."

Realizing this, Ninomiya Chizuru was very distressed and regretful, and couldn't help reaching out to him, wanting to grab him.

But when she stretched out her hand, just when she was about to touch Heize, it stopped in mid-air.

But after a brief pause, she continued to reach out and touch his chest.

"Is that so?"

Kurosawa looked down to see her every move, raised his eyes to see her complicated expression, and was conscious.

He was already fully aware of the fact that even if he had a system to help him, trying to reconcile with her by all means would be as difficult as heaven.

Because Ninomiya Chizuru has not reconciled with him so far, not because she still remembers what happened that day, but because she has a psychological shadow.

On that day, I personally tore her heart apart.

Even though her heart gradually healed with the passage of time, the scars could not be erased.

Powerless, too powerless, completely helpless.

His thinking was too naive, he thought that as long as he summoned up the courage to stay and make amends, he would be able to get back together, just like before.

But the reality is cruel, there is no way to restore the broken heart, just like when he heard Ninomiya Chizuru say sorry, he would instinctively feel terrified.

Today's Ninomiya Chizuru, even if she wants to touch him, she must summon up courage.

"Sorry, I was too impulsive, you go back first."

After thinking a lot, Kurosawa took a step back and chose to bow his head and apologize.

"Are you angry?"

When Ninomiya Chizuru found out that he was no longer keeping her, she couldn't help feeling a sense of panic in her heart.

She felt that if she really left like this, the disconnected connection between the two people would be severed.

"I'm not angry, I just figured it out."

Kurosawa shook his head.

Under the influence of the dating task, because he was able to find out how much she loves and cares for him, he was even grateful for it, and he had to push forward to let her pamper him by acting like a baby.

He is happy, but what about Ninomiya Chizuru?

Even when she was scarred and wronged in every possible way, she still loved him and pampered him.

He only noticed that Ninomiya Chizuru's love for him did not consider her difficulties, but now he realized it.

"What do you want to understand?"

Ninomiya Chizuru found that his expression became very calm, which was a bit scary.

"Your words reminded me... You said you were afraid of hurting me, so why am I not? I think if I continue to pester you, it will only hurt you more."

Seeing her timid reaction, Kurosawa still spoke his mind.

Long-term pain is worse than short-term pain. Looking into the future, everything is full of uncertainty. Even if he is determined to reduce the meeting between his girlfriends as much as possible, there is no way to guarantee that they will never see each other.

No one can tell what will happen tomorrow.

It was as if not long ago he was still dating girls from other schools online, every day was sweet, but he was sold in a blink of an eye, and the system was awakened, and his life changed drastically from then on.

"How come... You are still willing to coax me, I am very happy."

Hearing these words, Ninomiya Chizuru only felt that he was talking about breaking up, and immediately became anxious.

Although their current relationship is very stiff and they have quarreled, not long ago they were called by their surnames, they were not intimate at all, and they didn't look like a couple at all.

But she knew that before the fight, they were more like a couple than any couple.

Go to the amusement park together, travel together, play by the creek, have a picnic, hold hands, hug, and kiss.

"..."

Hearing her words, Kurosawa just remained silent.

What happened that day at the Budokan has endless troubles.

He was dejected, painful and heartbroken.

She once broke down and cried loudly.

"Kurosawa, don't do this, okay? I was wrong."

Seeing that he was silent, Ninomiya Chizuru stretched out her hand again, grabbed his wrist, and begged.

"Don't accommodate me like this anymore... I can't guarantee that I won't hurt you in the future."

Facing her pleading, Kurosawa Hikaru was a little soft-hearted, but he still tried his arms to break free.

"I'm not afraid."

Ninomiya Chizuru grabbed his wrist again, this time very hard.

"You are obviously very afraid, you are afraid of delaying me, you are afraid that we will break up in the end, and you will hurt me, but why am I not like this."

Hikaru Kurosawa shook his arm, unable to break free easily, he could only harden his heart and speak clearly with her, struggling while speaking, gradually exerting strength, and the excitement exploded.

After what happened just now, he has personally verified Ninomiya Chizuru's true feelings.

Letting go earlier is better for both of you.

"I'm afraid of these things, but I'm even more afraid of losing you!"

Although he was very strong, Ninomiya Chizuru still grabbed his arm tightly, refusing to let go, also excited, and said loudly.

"!"

Hikaru Kurosawa, who was still very excited at first, heard this cry, as if his soul was hit by something, his body, thinking, and even emotion were all frozen.

The look and emotions that were so agitated gradually calmed down, and Hikari Kurosawa looked at her in astonishment.

"I know I'm accommodating you, but I am willing!"

Seeing that he was no longer struggling, Ninomiya Chizuru's inner thoughts couldn't be restrained at this moment.

"I wanted to leave just now, not because I was angry, but because I was afraid that I would not be able to restrain myself and do more things with you impulsively.

I need time to think clearly, because I am afraid that I will be like the day before, clearly promised you, gave you hope, made you so happy, and ended up making you so sad.

Even though it's hard to accept, I'm still getting used to it slowly, because I really don't want to lose you!
In the end, you are like this, and you still say that you can't continue to entangle, do you just want to break up with me? "

Emotions broke out completely, and Ninomiya Chizuru found that he was silent, and his voice became louder and louder.

She was really scared just now, so she was very angry.

"If I really wanted to break up with you, I wouldn't have sent you a message before. I said at the beginning that I would respect your decision, but in the end I still sent you a message with the cheek, because I don't want to lose you."

Kurosawa looked at Ninomiya Chizuru who was clenched fists in front of him, so excited and anxious that he seemed very angry, and responded.

"When I went to your house before, even if you stared at me with the eyes of a heartless person and said all kinds of words in a strange way, I still stayed there with a dead face, because I didn't want to lose you.

And what did you say that you were afraid that you would hurt me again? I never felt that you hurt me that day, because I was in the same boat, and I was not so shameless that I dared to get angry when I was wrong. "

The two faced each other, talking loudly as if they were arguing, completely losing their usual calmness and rationality.

"really?"

Confiding his heart, Ninomiya Chizuru was not afraid to see him so angry and excited, but asked.

"It's all true."

After the excitement, Kurosawa calmed down a bit, and said affirmatively.

"You never felt that I broke your heart?"

"No." Kurosawa shook his head.

"You obviously did. The way you looked at me at that time was very sad, painful, and desperate!"

Ninomiya Chizuru didn't believe his nonsense.

"I was so distressed when I saw you crying, that's why I did that."

Kurosawa was really speechless.

"I'm crying because I like you so much that I can't be like them. I just watched you kiss other girls, and I can't easily accept that you are intimate with other girls."

"I feel sorry for you because I know that I love you, and I know that what I have done has hurt your heart. I thought I was going to lose you, so I was so desperate."

"I……"

Being retaliated by him, Ninomiya Chizuru originally wanted to respond, but she choked on the words.

Because after she calmed down, she found that such a conversation was very embarrassing and not reserved at all.

After the quarrel, it returned to calm, and the two looked at each other speechlessly.

The face-to-face replay of what happened that day revealed their hearts, and they realized each other's true feelings.

Without mind reading, no one can guarantee that they know what other people are really thinking.

Maybe I can feel the general idea, but the specific details are not clear.

Because I love you, that's why I broke down so much when I saw you kissing other women.

Because I love you, I feel so desperate when I see you leaving.

The feelings of the two are similar, but after the quarrel, they clearly felt the other's intentions.

I don't want to lose you, and I want to be with you.

"Drink some water."

Ninomiya Chizuru felt a little thirsty and couldn't help saying.

"Ah."

Kurosawa nodded.

After all, Ninomiya Chizuru sat back where she was before, and then picked up a glass of water.

As for Hikaru Kurosawa, he stood up and picked up the water glass, and drank vigorously.

The cool water flowed down the throat, washing away the hotness of the body, but the heartbeat of the two of them was still very fast.

Because when people quarrel, their emotions are often very agitated.

Soon, Kurosawa finished drinking a glass of water, licked his lips, and looked at Ninomiya Chizuru.

At this glance, he met a pair of eyes, but quickly staggered.

Compared to his heroic way of drinking, Ninomiya Chizuru's way of drinking is very ladylike and elegant.

She was sitting on the sofa, her snow-white and slender beautiful legs were put sideways together, holding the cup with one hand, putting it in front of her mouth to drink slowly, and secretly peeking at him.

However, after her eyes met, she pretended not to look and moved away.

"You really don't want to lose me?"

Seeing the change in her arrogant little eyes, Hikaru Kurosawa's heart moved, he mustered up the courage to walk up to her, sat down and asked.

"If I wanted to lose you, would I still be sitting here now? Wouldn't it be better for me to go to bed earlier?"

Facing his actions, Ninomiya Chizuru gave him a sideways look, and was speechless.

Asked knowingly, I just said what I said so clearly.

"That's right."

Maybe he asked the question knowingly, but Kurosawa Hikaru never got tired of it, he just smiled.

The relationship between people is maintained by social software, and continuous contact is necessary so that the relationship will not fade, but it is impossible to get better.

This is especially true for couples who are disconnected. Relying on mobile phones alone to maintain the relationship between two people is of no avail.

Instead of hiding behind social software and worrying about gains and losses, it is better to meet with each other and speak clearly.

Only in this way can the relationship be further advanced and courage can be brought to people.

　One update, but this chapter has more than 5 words, which is almost equivalent to two updates.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)