Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 13 It’s useless even if you have all the muscles!

Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang came on stage, and Zhang Jiunan and Gao Jiucheng, who had performed a poor job in the previous show, messed up the towels, fans and gavel on the table.

So Qi Long started to tease him directly: "The last performer was from our Deyun Society's Jiu Zi Division, and they performed a very exciting show: "Nine Cities Dog Walking"!"

Dongqiang, who was cleaning the table, immediately turned around and asked: "Jiucheng walking the dog?"

"Yeah, isn't that right? Isn't it time to walk Jiunan around on the stage? Look at the mess on the stage, it's like a Husky destroying the house. It's all because Jiucheng didn't take good care of Jiunan!"

The audience laughed. The crosstalk artist Zhang Jiunan and the team leader Zhang Helun were both full of enthusiasm when they went on stage.

However, Zhang Helun's enthusiasm is mostly expressed in small actions, while Zhang Jiunan's enthusiasm is expressed in big actions.

Many Deyun Society crosstalk enthusiasts jokingly called him "Zhang Gounan" because he sometimes acted like a mad dog on stage.

Gao Dong pushed Qi Long and said, "What do you mean by nephew? Is there anyone who calls a child a husky? He is a Shiba Inu, so you should show some respect!"

This joke made the audience even happier.

After the laughter, Qi Long continued, "You two have brought a moment of laughter to everyone. Let them go down and have a rest. It's our turn to come up. Let me introduce myself first. My name is Qi Long!"

"Mr. Qi!" Gao Dongqiang pointed at him and said.

The audience clapped in unison once again, but since they had already clapped when he went on stage, the applause this time was relatively quiet.

Qi Long waved his hand: "Thank you all for your compassionate applause!"

As soon as these words were spoken, everyone applauded vigorously to show their respect.

"Thank you everyone, let me introduce this person next to me, Mr. Gao Dongqiang!"

Gao Dongqiang also bowed, which received applause.

"Everyone, we have been partners for many years, but to be honest, our private hobbies are different. It doesn't mean that crosstalk actors who work together have the same hobbies. Take my senior brother Guo Degang and his senior brother Yu Qian for example, they have different hobbies!"

"Correct!"

"Teacher Yu Qian likes to smoke, drink and perm her hair, but Teacher Guo Degang is different!"

"What's the difference?"

"I used Teacher Yu Qian's cigarette butt to burn my head," Qi Long said, and then he acted it out. He pinched a fan between two fingers and pretended to light the cigarette butt on his head: "Dangdangdangdangdang, nine times in total!"

Gao Dongqiang interrupted his performance: "Brother, are you going to become a monk or something?"

"Yeah, then she has already shaved her head and become a nun. There is only a peach left on her head!"

"never heard of that!"

When Guo and Yu were mentioned, the Deyun crosstalk lovers present resonated with the topic and started laughing.

You know, when Master Guo is on stage, except for Brother Qian who occasionally makes an offensive comment or two against him, other people, especially his disciples, speak of him with great respect, and few people make fun of him. It's different with his close junior fellow apprentices.

"Mr. Gao and I have different hobbies!"

"What's the difference?"

"As for me, my personal preference is that I like women!"

"Yes," Gao Dongqiang replied subconsciously, and immediately realized that something was wrong, and pushed Qi Long again: "What do you mean? I am also a female!"

The audience and the actors on the side stage laughed together.

The rhythm of this joke is so perfect. If Gao Dongqiang didn't say "yes" subconsciously, the humor would have been greatly reduced.

"Don't worry, I haven't finished talking yet. He also likes women, but the types of women we like are quite different!"

"Please explain it clearly!" Dongqiang complained.

"He prefers athletic women, and his ideal type is also someone who likes sports!"

"That's true!"

"Why? Because he likes sports very much. This gown doesn't show his figure. In fact, my partner is full of muscles. His eight abdominal muscles can be used as a washboard. When my former wife, an actor in the crosstalk club, got angry and asked him to kneel on the washboard, Dongqiang would be called over to lie down and people would kneel on him." "Do I have such a function?"

"That's right, but let me tell you, your muscles are useless after getting so big!"

"Why is it useless?" Dongqiang immediately expressed his dissatisfaction.

"You'll cry if I punch you with your muscles, do you believe it?"

Dong Qiang shook his head blankly: "If you don't believe me, why am I crying?"

"You have to cry and beg me not to die!"

This was the joke that the two people used when they were chatting privately, and they used it directly on the stage. The audience was surprised by the unexpected turn and laughed out loud. The joke was considered to be a hit.

"Besides, can you hit someone in a society ruled by law? Even though you work out every day and have muscles, you can't do many sports!"

“What can’t I do?”

"Swimming! You can't beat this guy! He's not even a professional athlete, he's just a crosstalk performer from the Deyun Society!"

"Ah? Who am I not as good as?"

"Guo Degang!"

Gao Dongqiang was puzzled: "He is a great swimmer!"

"Hey, my senior brother, don't look at his small size, but he is a skilled swimmer; don't look at his short stature, but he can spin in the pool; those little arms and legs, when they paddle, they are so fast that even swimming trunks can't catch up with him!"

"Swimming naked?"

【Hahahahahahaha! 】The audience burst into laughter and talked about his senior brother again.

"Yes, he's swimming this way, but his swimming trunks are still there. However, my senior brother has retired from swimming for a while, mainly because he was blacklisted!"

"Of course not. Which swimming pool would allow him to enter if he swims naked?"

"Not only that, he also peed while swimming on his back, just like a little whale!"

"Okay, let's not talk about the details."

"You can beat him. You dare to swim on your back."

"I won't do it, I won't do it. All right, all right. I can't swim as well as he can!"

"Oh, that's right. You're not as good at swimming as others, and you're not good at basketball either. It's the same. You're not a professional athlete, but an actor from the German Arts Society. You still can't compare to them!"

"Who?"

"Guo Degang!"

Gao Dongqiang was immediately dissatisfied and pointed his hand at the height of the table: "With his height, I can't beat him in basketball?"

Qi Long said proudly: "Don't be dissatisfied, my senior brother is a point guard, and he has a unique skill on the basketball court!"

"what?"

"Dribble through the crotch!" Qi Long said and acted out again: "Others can't do it with their height. He dribbled the ball and passed through your crotch with the ball, and you couldn't find him!"

During the performance, Qi Long began to perform the act of looking for someone underground, lifting his foot to look at the sole of his shoe: "Where is Guo Degang? He was here just now? How come he disappeared? Who stepped on him?"

On the side stage, looking at the audience bursting into laughter, Zhang Helun pulled his partner Lang Heyan.

"Why don't we talk about Master and try? The audience all know Master, and talking about him will have a better effect!"

"Try? Not a good idea, right?"

"What's wrong with that? Crosstalk is about: on stage, there is no hierarchy, but off stage, there are rules! As long as the effect is good, it's fine. Later, let's change the jokes to talking about the master, and try it!"

(End of this chapter)