Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 27 Thank God You Are Here
At noon the next day, Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang came to the CCTV office building and waited for Sa Beining, who had some free time, in the conference room. The three of them rehearsed crosstalk together.

This group crosstalk tells the story of Sa Beining who came to the backstage of a crosstalk competition to choose a hosting partner for a new program. He happened to meet Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang who were rehearsing. After explaining his purpose, Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang both wanted to be Sa Beining's hosting partner, so the two brothers started a showdown.

Sa Beining set questions to test the two people from all aspects.

It is carried out in four aspects: image, eloquence, improvisation and rehearsal broadcast.

The image aspect is just passing by.

In terms of eloquence, there is a segment where Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang demonstrate their abilities in a tongue twister competition.

In terms of improvisation, Sa Beining took out a piece of news on the spot and asked the two of them to report a segment based on the news.

The rehearsal broadcast was done by Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang sitting behind the crosstalk stage, simulating the hosting of the broadcast. This was the funniest part of the entire crosstalk and it was also considered the real work!

For the host Sa Beining, hosting a duel between two contestants is no different from his job, so the three of them rehearsed very quickly, during which Sa Beining also put forward some personal opinions.

For example, you can talk about your academic qualifications, and then both of you report your college entrance examination scores.

Sa Beining said that we can’t just rely on the college entrance examination scores, and my college entrance examination scores are not good either. Qi Long, who had a low score, excitedly asked Sa Beining how many points he had, and he said that he was recommended to Peking University.
Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang basically accepted Sa Beining's idea of ​​adding more content without affecting the structure of crosstalk.

Of course, Sa Beining is not a professional crosstalk performer, and the structure of the added jokes still needs to be designed.

How to get rid of burdens is also a science.

Why is it that some people find the same funny thing funny while others find it awkward? It’s a matter of skill.

The three of them made some revisions and then rehearsed together a few more times. After they were satisfied with the overall result, they ended their first private rehearsal.

Sa Beining politely saw the two of them out. As soon as he walked back to the TV station, he saw a row of anxious staff members: "Be careful, what's going on?"

"Teacher Sa, Teacher Sa, will you be free later? One of the guests on our show was exposed today for having an incorrect stance. This person is no longer available. The leader asked us to find a host who has nothing to do temporarily to perform a segment!" The staff saw Sa Beining as if he had seen a savior.

Sa Beining shook his head: "I will have another video soon, you guys should find someone else."

After saying that, he reacted: "Wait a minute, I can recommend someone, you go ask your director and leader if he can do it!"

Qi Long, who was waiting for Gao Dongqiang's car at the door of the underground garage, was called back to the TV station and asked to participate in a program called "Thank God You Are Here".

After saying hello to Gao Dongqiang and signing a contract with a salary of 50,000 yuan, Qi Long was taken to the dressing room.

I don’t know what it’s like in another world, but in this world, the appearance fees for artists from CCTV are not high, but most artists flock to it. After all, it is the largest TV station in the country, and it is of great benefit to increasing their popularity.

In the dressing room, she put on a suit that was obviously much larger than the skinny Qi Long, and put on some makeup.

While putting on makeup, a staff member told him about the setting of the show.

Without knowing it, the actors enter the prescribed situations set by the program team and perform impromptu performances. No matter what the NPC says, you can only say yes, not no, and you have to continue acting out the situation.

What is tested is the actor's improvisation ability, and the actor does not need to prepare much.

When Qi Long was rescuing Deyun Club before, he almost improvised a conversation with Jin Henan, and the incident spread on the Internet, so his improvisational TV director reluctantly approved and invited Qi Long over with the idea of ​​giving it a try.

This is the only program that doesn't re-record after a guest has a problem but instead invites a guest on short notice, because there is no script!
"Applause to welcome the next challenger, the crosstalk artist, Qi Long!" The host Nigo Maiti shouted while looking at the temporarily modified script in front of the stage. The audience did not applaud enthusiastically. Obviously, although Qi Long had some fame, it was not very high, and the crosstalk competition was not broadcast on TV.

Qi Long, wearing a loose and obviously ill-fitting suit, walked into the studio and stood next to Xiao Ni.

"Qi Long, what role do you think you are?"

Qi Long glanced at his suit, then touched his slicked-back hair, and speculated: "It could be a college student who wore his dad's suit to go on a date! Isn't that what the song says? Comb your hair like an adult and put on a handsome suit!"

"Haha, okay, then is it consistent with your guess? Please open the door!" Nicometti pointed to the small door on the side of the stage covered by the curtain.

Qi Long took a deep breath and opened the door.

It would be a lie to say he wasn't nervous. He felt unsure since he didn't know anything. This isn't crosstalk, so it's not something he's particularly professional about.

As soon as he walked through the door, a scene similar to a private room in a luxury hotel appeared in front of Qi Long. There were three people in the room. They bowed to him 100 degrees when they saw him. Two of them were quite dirty and looked very sloppy.

Qi Long bowed as well out of habit.

"Thank God, you are here, Chairman, hello!"

Qi Long understood that he was a chairman, so how could his subordinates dress like this to meet the chairman?
He pointed at the two scruffy actors and asked, "Did you two have a fight?"

Before the actor could respond, he put on a gossipy and curious face: "Who won!"

The crosstalk performer's funny expressions made the audience laugh.

Faced with Qi Long's questions, the actors were stunned for a moment. In the past, no matter which guests came to this program, they would wait for their performances before giving more information, but this guy took the initiative.

"Chairman, you are such a joker. We climbed the mountain to get here!"

"Yes, Chairman, I just don't understand why you want to build your winery on such a high and remote mountain?"

Qi Long sat directly on one of the seats: "I'm afraid of the inspection by the Commerce Bureau, right?"

As soon as he said this, the laughter burst out.

"Oh, that's how it is!" The actors didn't dare to continue this topic and had to change it.

"Chairman, why do you climb mountains and look clean?"

Qi Long immediately responded: "I took the tunnel!"

The audience was delighted, and the actors kept saying: So that's how it is.
Qi Long was eating peanuts on the table, feeling regretful. If the actor opposite him was Dong Qiang, he would have said: Climbing the mountain and taking the tunnel?
This way you can turn over the baggage again.

Unfortunately, the NPCs’ acting skills are poor and they can only perform according to the script.

At this time, Qi Long's nervousness had eased a lot. In a crosstalk performance on the stage, there were many cases of three people setting traps for each other when they were filling in the gaps. Without this much reaction time, how much of a loss would he suffer?

(End of this chapter)