Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 28 Qi Long's Guankou Demonstration

The performance continues. This program is that the assistant actors give the actors some difficult problems in a prescribed situation to see how the actors respond.

Sometimes the difficult question is just like the ridiculous topic in the traditional crosstalk “Ba Ma Gua”, making it difficult for you to think of how to respond at the first time.

This time Qi Long faced a difficult problem.

"When our chairman was making the dish of smashed cucumbers, he thought of such a good name as 'Buqiangzou'. Let's hear from the chairman why!" the actor who played the manager raised the question.

The two sloppy customers also looked at Qi Long expectantly.

"Oh yes, I was slicing cucumbers when the kitchen knife fell and cut my foot. My foot was injured and I couldn't move my strength and had to walk with the help of the wall. That's when I thought of the name of this wine!"

The logical and impeccable answer made the audience applaud.

"Oh, I see. Then I have another question. Our program is not promoted on major TV stations, radio stations, shopping malls, cinemas, or subways. Why is it so well-known? What is our promotion method?"

"MLM!" Qi Long shouted immediately.

"Ah?" The NPC actor was confused.

"Hahahahahahaha!" The audience was shocked by Qi Long's shocking words and started laughing.

Qi Long ate peanuts leisurely: "That's why I put the winery in the mountains!"

The humor in crosstalk is not nonsensical, it must have a beginning and an end. With this said, hey, it completes the previous joke.

Then they started tasting wine. The manager locked the car keys of the two sloppy customers in the safe, saying that it was a rule set by their chairman. Qi Long gave the answer without even thinking: "Don't drink and drive, and don't drive after drinking."

The actor followed up by saying, "That's right. Our chairman got into a serious accident after drinking and driving. He didn't come back all night. The next day we found that his car had been driven into a tree at the east end of the village, and he was holding the steering wheel next to a dry well at the west end of the village."

At this time, another question came up: "Chairman? How did you manage to park your car on a tree at the east end of the village and be in a dry well at the west end of the village?"

"I was drunk and I didn't even know it!" Qi Long answered confidently.

The audience burst into laughter.

Then, no matter how the extras asked questions, Qi Long was able to resolve them perfectly.

Until such a difficult problem came up: to drink this "Wall-Holding" wine, one needs a special skill, which is to draw a "wine" character in cursive script with the wine glass in the air without spilling a drop!

Qi Long was confused. How come there were action scenes besides language?

How could this full glass of wine not spill when it's swaying in the air?
Hey, there it is!

Qi Long began to shake the wine glass and drew the number nine, and a lot of water in the glass naturally spilled out.

"Chairman, didn't you say not to spill even a drop?"

"That's right, I spilled it all over!" Qi Long pretended to be drunk and answered righteously.

The audience burst into laughter again.

When it came to the last question, the manager said that the chairman had personally formulated a plan that customers who bought 50 boxes of wine from us at one time could enjoy 15 preferential items. The chairman would explain the details.

This requires you to improvise fifteen projects, which is not easy, but Qi Long has a way.

"Chairman, what is the first item?" "The first item is to treat important customers to a big dinner!"

"What's in the dinner?"

"There are steamed lamb, steamed bear paws, and steamed deer tail." Qi Long immediately started to recite the dishes that he had memorized countless times in his crosstalk.

His body was swaying as if he was drunk, but his pronunciation was very accurate. Everyone could hear every word of every dish clearly and applauded.

"Okay, that's enough. What about the second item? Chairman!"

"The second item is to take you on a tour. We will go to Qinghe, Shahe, and Changping County."

This time it was a running comment, a geographical map! There was also a round of applause, and after the applause, the supporting actor interrupted his performance to ask the third question.

"The third one?"

"The third item is to give you a set of weapons, including swords, spears, halberds, axes, hooks and forks." This time it was a string of eighteen kinds of weapons.

"The fourth item is to show you some boxing techniques, such as Flying Tiger Fist and Subduing Tiger Fist." This is the running line, talking about boxing!

The fifth item is to take you to listen to storytelling. There was a reckless man in the Three Kingdoms of the Later Han Dynasty.
The sixth item is to listen to the Kuaiban. Tong Ren Tang was originally an old medicine shop.
The seventh item is to take you to climb Linglong Tower, Linglong Tower, Linglong Tower.
Before Qi Long could continue speaking, the host Nicometti pressed the button to end the performance, and Qi Long's challenge was officially completed!

Later on, Qi Long planned to take them to listen to Peking Opera, Pu Opera, and Bangzi Opera. In short, they could all come!

"Good!!!" The audience applauded and gave warm applause to Qi Long's impromptu performance.

It’s amazing. He didn’t feel panicked at all, and every word he said was funny, making everyone laugh.

"It's amazing. He took the initiative to set the pace with his status as chairman. Our actors were almost led away by him!" said the special audience, who is equivalent to the judge of this program, the TV host Sister Yueliang.

“I still remember the work in the last crosstalk competition. It’s still so great watching it now. I even feel like I watched a complete skit!” Old acquaintance Gong Hanlin also gave it high praise.

In fact, this is still far from a complete sketch. If the improvisational settings are removed, the funny level will be greatly reduced!

After finishing the recording, Qi Long returned to the dressing room to remove his makeup. The program director, Director Xie, even made a special trip to thank Qi Long for saving the day and expressed his hope for more cooperation in the future.

Qi Long's performance made him remember this young crosstalk actor, who has strong improvisation skills, strong stage control ability, and good variety show effects. Such a talent!
Qi Long is still very interested in being on the show. He is happy to increase his popularity and earn more coins.

Because he discovered yesterday that the software can be upgraded, but it requires ten thousand coins. The efficiency of the roulette wheel draw will be higher after the upgrade. It seems that more work needs to be done!
Therefore, he politely said to Director Xie: "It is my great fortune to be able to participate. Thank you for giving me this opportunity!"

The two sides happily exchanged contact information!

After coming out of the TV station, Qi Long had no plans to go home. There was a small theater performance in the evening, so he simply went to Sanlitun, found a coffee shop, ordered a cup of the cheapest coffee, found a corner and sat down to play with his phone.

Almost all the hundreds of audience members at the scene today liked his performance. Including the coins he earned online in the past few days, Qi Long already has more than 4,000 coins. He decided to draw another prize to see what he can win.

As expected, Qi Long only won the guaranteed grand prize of the fifty consecutive draws. This time the prize was: listening knowledge (with a listening experience card).

What does listening mean?
Qi Long clicked on the experience card, and the background music of the cafe changed.

The original background music was a normal melodious tune, with the saxophone playing in the background.
Now, hearing this music, his brain automatically responds, it sounds like: Re-mi-so, Re-mi-so, So-la-mi-do-re-la-mi-do.
Absolute pitch?! Qi Long was overjoyed!

(End of this chapter)