Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 33: Wen Xun Tu

There is no time requirement for the encore performance, just tell a quick joke, and the audience knows that they are actors pulled together at short notice, so they don't have any psychological expectations and just come to watch the fun.

But Qi Long is a man who would not go on stage unless he was there, but once on stage he would unconsciously perform crosstalk with all his might.

Besides, the atmosphere is good now, so let’s play for a while longer.

"How about this, we two will each perform a talent, crosstalk, storytelling, singing, and comedy. Qin Xiaoxian will go first and perform one."

Having said that, Qi Long paused, giving the audience some time to guess what Qin Xiaoxian would play.

Qin Xiaoxian was already confused. Didn't the side stage say that? Didn't they say to just sing the quick beat? Why should I act? What should I act?

Qi Long shouted out the answer: "Disco!"

The scope of storytelling, learning, joking and singing was defined before and after, and Xiao Qin and the audience guessed from these four, so this word was unexpected and it immediately worked.

"Ah?" Qin Xiaoxian: "Is there any dancing involved in learning to sing and dance?"

"Learn!" Qi Long replied as a matter of course: "Learning includes a lot of things, such as flying in the sky, running on the ground, floating in the water, jumping in the grass, shouting when buying and selling, speaking of people from different provinces, various operas and songs. Can't you just learn to dance?"

When Qi Long finished speaking, he was facing the audience, and someone immediately responded, "Okay!"

Qi Long nodded: "Look, everyone has answered for you. Come on, is the sound teacher ready?"

After a three-second pause, he pointed at Qin Xiaoxian and said, "He Qingbeng!"

"Qingbang?" Qin Xiaoxian looked at Qi Long in a daze.

The audience burst into laughter, and the side stage was also bent over with laughter. I have heard a cappella singing, but I have never heard a disco a cappella dance.
"Yes, to be honest, Xiao Qin is actually a good disco dancer. He taught us how to dance backstage and even summarized a set of formulas. I memorized them all!"

"Ah?" Qin Xiaoxian was still stunned. What mantra? Why have I never heard of it?

Qi Long took out the clapper board: "Have you forgotten what you said? Didn't you say it? (clapper board) Draw a dragon with me on your left, draw a rainbow on your right, cover your forehead and shake your hips, as if you are worried about something, make a Guo Fucheng on your chest, shake your head on the left and right, and your two index fingers are like two flying monkeys, pointing at the shining light ball!"

When the audience heard it, they were surprised that it was quite smooth and rhymed.

Qi Long heard this clip from a song from another world. Ever since the coins were no longer freely drawn, the videos he watched were no longer limited to crosstalk. Occasionally, he would click on other videos to take a look.

Although Qin Xiaoxian never said this mantra, he really did go disco dancing.

Moreover, they had agreed before going on stage that he would listen to his uncle-master and do whatever his uncle-master told him to do.

So when Qi Long was beating the clappers again and singing this passage, Lao Qin started flapping his left hand to make a wave, and drawing a semicircle with his right hand like a rainbow, and then he covered his forehead and began to shake it, followed by Guo Fucheng's classic "endless love" move, shaking his head and pointing to the sky.

The audience and actors on the side stages were some who were following Qi Long's commands, while others were laughing uncontrollably at Qin Xiaoxian's stiff performance.

"Very good, Lao Qin is here to learn how to dance, let me show you one!" After praising Qin Xiaoxian, Qi Long turned around and got down to business.

He beat the clappers and chanted, "There is a sheep on a high mountain. This is the length of my short segment. Thank you, everyone. The performance is over!"

Qi Long bowed and left the stage. Normally, if there was no scene to be performed, the leaving of the stage would be fake and the supporting actor would have to do it. However, Lao Qin was a beat slow to react and also bowed and left.

Fortunately, Qi Long has a more reliable partner.

Gao Dongqiang quickly came out from the side curtain and pushed him back onto the stage.

"My dear partner, you told me that there was not enough time and pushed me back." He looked at Lao Qin, looked at the audience, and looked at Lao Qin again, and finally sighed again: "Ah"

The same sigh as at the beginning, was met with the same laughter.

"Then let's sing a longer one, Xiao Qin, which part do you want to sing?" Qi Long turned around and asked.

Qin Xiaoxian heaved a sigh of relief. It was finally his turn to say the words he had to say as a supporting actor: "I'm getting married. Please give me a quick rap!"

This is the most important sentence in this short segment. Say the key paragraph and let them perform. If the supporting actor doesn't say it, the funny actor will be left on the stage.

For example, in the drunken version of "Fenhe Bay", Yu Qian, who was drunk, kept not mentioning "singing Fenhe Bay", which made Guo Degang sweat profusely. Qi Long immediately looked at Qin Xiaoxian: "How old are you? Are you going to get married?"

"I don't care, I'm going to get married!"

"You can't get married!"

"Why can't I get married?"

"You are an idol. Even idols can't fall in love, and you still want to get married?" Qi Long said seriously.

Qin Xiaoxian stammered: "I am not an idol, I am a crosstalk actor!"

"You are so handsome, the audience comes for your face. No one will look at you if you get married, do you know that?"

"Uncle, you are more handsome than me!" Qin Xiaoxian retorted.

Qi Long looked at him with a stunned expression and slowly raised his thumb: "That's a good point! Indeed, with our looks, we may look like idols, but we are actually talented!"

This statement was naturally met with boos from the audience. Although you are really handsome, I don’t care about your smug look.

"Okay, then it's a deal. You don't want to be an idol, but learn crosstalk! What did you say you wanted?"

"I want to get married!"

Qi Long picked up the clapper board and said, "Okay, if you want to get married, tell me and I'll buy you a car. If you get married, I'll congratulate you and buy you some gifts. We've got so many gifts and I'm afraid your house is too small to store them all!"

When he got to the penultimate sentence, Qi Long hooked his chin, reminding him that it was time to continue.

"What are they?" Qin Xiaoxian asked.

"There is a big refrigerator, rice cooker, air conditioner, computer, car, massage chair, boss desk, big wreath and urn. Where should we put all these things?" Still the second to last sentence, Qi Long hooked his chin.

Qin Xiaoxian pushed him and said, "Put it in your house!"

Qi Long put down the clapperboard, looked at Qin Xiaoxian, looked at the audience, and sighed: "Ah"

After the sighing joke made the audience laugh, Qi Long began to play two roles. He first looked to the empty right and imitated himself as the supporting actor: "Wait, what are you going to give me?"

Then he imitated the funny joke: "What's wrong with me giving this thing? What's wrong with a big refrigerator? A big refrigerator, three layers, refrigeration, freezing and ash."

The supporting actor: "What the hell is this!"

This live teaching in which one person played two roles amused the audience, the side stage, and even Lao Qin himself on the stage.

Qi Long looked at him helplessly: "What are you laughing at? Are you teasing them?"

The laughter increased.

The main activity of this quick-talking segment is that the actor keeps referring to happy events as funerals. The supporting actor has to interrupt him quickly when he mentions funerals and ask him to correct himself. Once the crucial point is missed, the punchline cannot be delivered.

So in the subsequent performances, whenever Qin Xiaoxian sang too slowly, Qi Long would play both roles and explain to him. Once the rhythm was right, he would give him a thumbs up and praise him. Both methods were very effective.

The further along, the smoother Qin Xiaoxian's connection became. Qi Long sighed, "My nephew has grown!"

Finally, we get to the last joke: "The bride got out of the car, holding the urn in her arms!"

"Or is it an urn?" Qin Xiaoxian pushed Qi Long.

"Very good!" Qi Long praised and bowed to Qin Xiaoxian, and the encore segment officially ended!

This crosstalk was performed by Zhang Heqing and his junior Wang Longjie from the Dragon Class at the closing performance of Deyun Fifth Team last year. It is a textbook example of how to make people laugh if the supporting role is not good enough. I recommend it to those who haven't seen it, haha
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(End of this chapter)