Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 339: Misinterpretation of "The School of Philosophers"

Qi Long successfully captured two people who were doing hidden tasks and confirmed the skydiving challenge of Wang Xun and Zhang Yixing.

Next, the three of them did another blindfolded and clapping movement, and the two people hugging each other were safe. Sun Honglei and Luo Zhiqiang found each other. Huang Bai, who was left alone, signed with Wang Xun and Zhang Yixing, trained, boarded the plane, and parachuted.

The three brothers formed a skydiving team and decided to avenge themselves.

On the ground, Qi Long and Sun Honglei were hiding in the corner of the gym chewing pig's trotters, Luo Zhiqiang was being trained by Gao Dongqiang, and that guy took advantage of the opportunity to record his little broken station program.
After returning from skydiving, this recording officially ended.

For a period of time afterwards, Qi Long had almost the same schedule every week, recording three variety shows and a small theater performance. He would go for commercial performances if there were any, and stay at home to watch over the decoration if there were no commercial performances. Occasionally, on weekends, he would go to the study society to teach his apprentices.

After the second season of "The Comedy Club Season 2" was finished, the special episode of "Let's Run" with all the members won the highest ratings of the week.

"Extreme Man" was officially launched on Shanghai TV the following week. The first episode won the highest ratings on Sunday, which was also the highest ratings of the week. "Let's Run" ranked second.

The following week, the "Infernal Affairs" series of Extreme Men also shined, and the audience said it was still a familiar taste, leading in ratings and online broadcast data.

It was not until the third week that "Let's Run" reversed the situation and brought out a special episode of "Qi Shuangying's Return". Qi Long and his assistant Qin Xiaoxian used water guns to kill all the members again.

In the last shot, Qi Long gave Qin Xiaoxian a water gun and asked him to point it at himself. If he fired the water gun, Qin Xiaoxian would be the protagonist of the next water gun special. If he didn't fire it, the two would continue to cooperate in the next episode.

Qin Xiaoxian pressed the water gun button without hesitation, but the water gun turned around and hit him, and Qi Long won alone again.

This episode of the show beat the special episode on the 80s by Men's Gang.

The two programs began to compete for the ratings championship. In the big companies, the planning teams of the two programs worked so hard to think of the segments and compete with each other. More and more interesting designs appeared in the two programs, which made the audience enjoy the show.

As a key figure in the two programs, Qi Long's popularity has skyrocketed. With Qi Long's program dominating the charts in recent weeks, Deyun Society has pushed the two of them to organize a super-large commercial performance that can seat more than 6,000 people.

Guo Degang and Yu Qian’s largest commercial performance was in front of more than 13,000 people in a stadium.

To use the words of crosstalk, the audience who bought the cheapest tickets were several miles away from them and could not see the people on the stage at all. They could only see them through the screens on both sides.

Qi Long and Dong Qiang's previous special performance attracted more than 2,700 people at the Beijing Exhibition Center Theater. The doubling of the number of people this time was also a recognition of their crosstalk's ability to attract audiences. The moment the tickets were released, they were sold out in an instant. Many people could only find scalpers on the Internet to get tickets.

Deyun Society also attaches great importance to this large-scale commercial performance of the two. Yu Qiandu was sent out as their supporting actor. He will perform a group crosstalk with Mr. Shi Fukuan, Gao Dongqiang, and the three uncles from their school.

In addition, Yue Yue and Gao Luan, two of the most outstanding pairs of Deyun Club, also came to support.

Except for the troupe owner Guo Degang, it can be said that everyone who could come came.

At the beginning, Yan Hexiang joked when he was arguing with him about being the young boss: "All the elite soldiers of Deyun Society are here. If Uncle Qi Long has any rebellious intentions, he will smash the cup here as a signal, and the swordsmen around will come out and put knives on our necks. Deyun Society will change today. From now on, Deyun Society will belong to Qi Long. Without Gangzi and my master, what will happen?!"

In the second show, Qi Long came on stage and echoed his joke, pulling out a plastic cup from his pocket and throwing it on the ground: "Where is the axeman? Today, Deyun Club changed its surname to Qi!"

Dong Qiang stopped him and said, "Teacher Qi, don't worry. Our swordsman set out from Tianjin, but was detained at the train station for carrying controlled knives!"

This design, which was made up on the spur of the moment after hearing Yan Hexiang's joke backstage, also caused laughter from the audience.

Wow, more than 6,000 people laughing together, the sound was so deafening that Qi Long even felt the stage was shaking!

"Thank you, everyone. I didn't expect that the venue with a capacity of more than 6,000 people would be packed. For me personally, it was really surprising!" Qi Long said with emotion.

Gao Dongqiang glanced at Qi Long's belly: "Frightened? Congratulations!"

From his state, Qi Long knew that Dong Qiang was also very excited today, and he went straight to the dirty stuff.

The audience burst into laughter, and Qi Long wondered, "What are they laughing at?"

"I don't know either. Maybe you were frightened by Gao Xing!"

"No, no, I was talking about something like spoiling someone and surprising them."

Dong Qiang: "Do you mean to say I'm flattered?"

"Right, right, right. Think about it. It's okay for a concert to have more than 6,000 people. Everyone can sing and dance along with the atmosphere. If we can get so many audiences to support us just by chatting with our two mouths, we are really flattered!"

"That's right!"

Qi Long immediately pursed his lips, squinted his eyes, and imitated Guo Degang and said: "The people of the country can tolerate me and not make money by committing sins in the world. Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang, on behalf of more than 400 crosstalk performers of Deyun Society, pay tribute to my parents who provide me with food and clothing."

After saying this, he kicked off his coat, clasped his hands together, and walked out of the range of the microphone.

Dong Qiang quickly pulled him back: "The executioner is not here yet, and Deyun Club hasn't changed the weather yet!"

"Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang, on behalf of our senior brothers Guo Degang and Yu Qian, pay tribute to my parents who provide me with food and clothing!"

After the brief introduction, Qi Long began to move forward according to the outline they had prepared earlier.

This show is a comedy program called "Laozi Laozi", and Qi Long, who is always talking nonsense about culture, is here again.

He first praised Dongqiang for his culture, and then said that he was not bad either.

"Recently I have been studying various schools of thought. I am bragging if I say I have studied all of them, but I have studied more than ten of them."

Amid the boos from the audience, Dongqiang asked on their behalf: "Are there so many companies handed down? Can you tell me which dozen or so you have studied?"

"Taoists and Mohists, novelists, legalists and eclecticists, diplomats, military strategists, farmers, yin-yangists, Rujia and IKEA, Hailan Home, writer and painter Dongqiang's home"

Dongqiang was counting on his fingers earlier, but when Qi Long mentioned Home Inn and IKEA, Dongqiang stopped counting on his fingers along with the audience's laughter.

When they arrived at Dongqiang's house, he immediately pushed them forward: "What a mess! What does the various schools of thought have to do with IKEA and Heilan Home? Painters and writers are all here, and the most outrageous thing is our family. Why are you filling in the blanks with me?"

Qi Long smiled embarrassedly: "I was exaggerating a bit, trying to appear more capable. Actually, I didn't study that much, just a few!"

"Just tell me what you have researched!"

"Then let's talk about Dongqiang's family. His father is here today. Let me look for him. If I see you, cheer!" Qi Long stretched out his hand and looked at the entire audience with the gesture of Sun Wukong, meeting the eyes of most of the audience. Wherever his eyes went, there were cheers.

"Well, they are all my dads, and female dads too!"

"Then there are probably male mothers as well."

Dong Qiang interrupted the male audience as they were howling: "Go ahead, talk about the various schools of thought, stop mentioning our family, do you know any of them?"

"Yes, then let me tell you about Confucianism, Home Inn, that is to say."

The audience burst into laughter, amused by this unexpected pun.

"Which Confucian school is the Ru family among the hundreds of schools of thought? What nonsense! If you don't know, let's change the subject and stop embarrassing ourselves!"

"I'm just kidding. How could I not know about Confucianism? It is the thought inherited by China from the previous year. Its representatives include Confucius, Mencius, and Gou Zi?"

Qi Long counted on his fingers and made everyone laugh with an uneducated typo. Dong Qiang said in a muffled voice: "Do you have any eggs?"

"There are also ducks and pigeons. What a mess. Why did you turn your discussion of academic matters to animals?" Qi Long turned around and complained.

Dong Qiang pushed him: "Didn't you come first with a dog? Are there dogs among the representative figures of Confucianism?"

"Yes, the word 'ju' in the sentence under the grass radical is pronounced as 'gou', which means you are doing something shameful!"

Dong Qiang retorted: "That was Japan"

"Do you have to make it so clear? When it comes to shameful things, be civilized and don't come back day after day to perform in our commercial performance!" Qi Long shouted righteously.

More than 6,000 spectators burst into laughter, and the laughter once again shook the entire venue.

When the laughter was about to end, Dongqiang pounded the table and said, "I just realized it. No, I meant that the character "日" in the sentence is not "口", but "日". And the character is not pronounced "勾", but "迅"!"

Qi Long waved his hand and said, "Look at how ignorant you are. Cao Cao had a counselor with the same name, Gou Huo!"

"That's Xun Yu. Next time you come across a word you don't know, don't just read halfway. Let's bring a dictionary!"

Qi Long scratched his head and said, "Really? That's fine. I haven't done any research on Gou Xunzi. Let me talk about the first two, the sage Confucius and the second sage Mencius!"

"That's right!"

"Let's talk about Confucius first. He is the founder of Confucianism and a famous educator. He mainly talked about the word benevolence. Confucius said he would become a benevolent man. He had 3,000 disciples!"

"Absolutely right!" Dong Qiang exclaimed.

"Let's talk about Mencius. He is the best inheritor of Confucianism and a famous filial son (huh?). The main thing he emphasized is the word filial piety. There are three thousand mothers."

Dongqiang grabbed him and said, "You are talking nonsense now. Who has three thousand mothers?"

Qi Long pointed at the audience and said, "You have more than 3,000 fathers, so shouldn't you have more than 3,000 mothers?"

The audience laughed and applauded simultaneously. This gag was really powerful, connecting with the previous one and having a foreshadowing in the previous part. You thought it was just an ordinary ethical gag to make the audience take advantage and have some fun, but it was actually a foreshadowing.

"Is that reasonable? There are only 3,000 mothers?"

"This all has a history. Haven't you heard of the story of Mencius' mother moving three times? It's about Mencius' filial piety and the fact that he had three thousand mothers!" Qi Long said nonsense in a serious tone.

Dong Qiang stretched out his hand: "Is this the explanation for Meng's mother moving three times?"

"Yes, there are explanations elsewhere!"

"where?"

"Mencius's own work is called Mencius, one of the Four Books. In one of the chapters, The King Hui of Liang, Part I, he said: Respect the elderly as much as you can, and respect the elderly of others as well!"

“There is this sentence!”

"This sentence means that when supporting and honoring your elders, you should not forget other elderly people who are not related to you by blood. So Mencius was not only filial to his own mother, but also to other elderly ladies who were not related to him by blood. He recognized 2,999 godmothers. In ancient times, they were not called godmothers, but adopted mothers. He looked at whoever he felt sorry for, and he knelt down and kowtowed to them, recognized them as his adopted mothers, and respected them well. This is called Mencius's way of righteousness."

The whole place burst into laughter.

This is how literary crosstalk can create earth-shattering situations, using sentences that everyone knows to make people laugh and create jokes that everyone can understand.

Just take the first part, Mencius' mother moved three times, respect the elderly as well as the elderly of others, Confucius said to become a martyr, Mencius said to pursue righteousness, these are all familiar sayings to everyone. The crosstalk actor integrated these knowledge points that everyone knows together and came up with a bizarre point of view, which immediately triggered laughter from everyone.

"Oh, so the meaning of Meng Yue is that Mencius knelt down and acknowledged two thousand nine hundred and eighty-ninety godmothers?"

"Yes!"

"What are you talking about? You are just a drunken thunder god. Mencius' mother moved three times so that her son could learn well. It's not that he has three thousand mothers. I know that you can't spit out ivory from your dog's mouth!"

The Confucianists showed their weakness, and Qi Long scratched his head.

"My research is not that in-depth. I just did some simple research. I mainly studied the Legalists and Li Si. Do you know me?"

"Oh, I know, Li Si, the Prime Minister of the Qin Dynasty!"

Qi Long nodded: "Li Si is a bad guy. He participated in many cruel things such as burning books and burying scholars. Those who followed his will could stand in the court, and those who went against him would be killed. No matter who he met, he would have a way to win them over to his faction or suppress them to death. Later generations even created a classic masterpiece based on his methods. Did you know?"

Dong Qiang was puzzled: "Oh, I really don't know this, can you explain it to me?"

Qi Long opened his mouth and uttered five words, which were extremely nonsensical: "King Kong Calabash Brothers!"

"Cartoon? Was it made by Li Si? You're not even close!"

"Big Boy is extremely strong, he must be a person of outstanding ability, right? How to deal with him? You have to lure him with benefits, so Big Boy got caught because he was obsessed with money!"

"Huh?"

"Erwa has clairvoyance and hearing, and represents a person who knows the world. How can the snake demon deal with him? He uses evil spirits to deal with him, and entraps him with rumors, until he becomes blind."

"This is really something. Where's Sanwa?"

"Sanwa is invulnerable to swords and guns, and immune to all poisons. He represents a person of integrity. How can the snake demon deal with him? Make things difficult for him, make him isolated and helpless, and finally capture him."

"Oh, where are the fourth and fifth kids?"

"The fire-breathing symbolizes being swift and resolute in doing things. The snake demon asked him to cook a big pot of rice, which takes a long time to complete, and also poured cold water on him so that he would no longer have confidence. Wu Wa's ambition represents a broad mind, but the snake demon poured dirty water on him, making him tainted and he could only go along with the crowd!"

Dongqiang, who knows the words, is expressing surprise, and the audiences in the audience are truly shocked. Is there such a saying in "Huluwa"?
Then Qi Long talked about Liuwa and Qiwa, the invisible representatives who were at peace with the world, so he covered him with a golden cymbal and put false charges on him.

Qi Wa seemed indestructible, so he was destroyed from the inside by using moths to eat the gourd inside.
"Of course, the most classic one is the one against the Calabash Brothers. The seven Calabash Brothers are so powerful after they combine together."

"How did you deal with it?"

"He was given a little butterfly, a female fairy, who seduced him right away. Who can resist such temptation? Hehehehe!"

"Is this all Li Si's trick?"

"Oh, right. This is a common method used by treacherous officials in ancient times. Do you think I have studied it thoroughly?"

Dong Qiang nodded: "Oh, you are really good at research, I didn't expect it."

"Really? To tell you the truth, this is all taught to me by my father!" This brings us to the Laozi in the crosstalk title "Laozi Laozi": the Laozi that refers to my father! (End of this chapter)

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