Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

"What did the old man study?"

Qi Long nodded: "That's right, my father loved reading when he was young. At that time, his unit built a library specifically for him and let him be the librarian!"

Dongqiang was puzzled: "I am your father, godfather"

After a short pause, which allowed the audience, who had only applauded in shock but not enjoyed much while listening to "Huluwa", to smile again, Dongqiang continued.

"Isn't my godfather a civil servant? He works as a secretary. How come he is a librarian?!"

Qi Long shook his head: "That's all fake. I told you that. Actually, my father is the librarian of their unit. He is in charge of building the library. After it's built, he will be the administrator!"

"Oh!"

“On the first day the library opened, hey, the library was identified as a dangerous building.”

"what?"

The audience laughed, and Qi Long sighed: "My father didn't understand economics and was cheated by others who cut corners. Now I am not afraid of being embarrassed. The old man was sentenced to 12 years."

"Is this a frame-up?" Dong Qiang asked in surprise.

"You see, that's why he can see through the trap even when he sees a giant gourd boy. It's because of his own experience!"

"I just said that normal people can't see so many things when watching a cartoon!"

Qi Long continued to sigh: "To be honest, when I was a kid, I didn't dare tell anyone that my dad was in prison. I was afraid that people would laugh at me, so I lied. When I went out, I gave myself this identity. I said that my dad was a fisherman who fished in the Yellow River all year round, and he caught sharks. When my classmates heard it, they were extremely envious!"

"Where are the sharks in the Yellow River?"

"I only found out when I grew up. I didn't know it then. I can't use this excuse anymore. I'll change it. When you go out, you give yourself an identity. I said my father is a secretary and he travels around the world with his boss every day!"

Dongqiang suddenly realized: "Is that how the rumor about your father being a secretary came about?"

"That's right. Later, when I grew up, I realized that leaders usually don't bring male secretaries with them when they go out. If they bring female secretaries, they can get more things done!"

"Oh, can do it!"

Originally, there were more laughs when Qi Long said it, but Dong Qiang emphasized a key point and it directly ignited the scene, with laughter overwhelming and reaching the ceiling.

"What are they laughing at?" Qi Long looked confused.

"I don't know, I just agreed!" Dongqiang also pretended to be stupid.

Qi Long shook his head: "Let's not talk about this. I found that the male secretary's excuse was not working. I thought of another idea. I'll just lie."

The two brothers said in unison: "When you go out, you give yourself an identity!"

Qi Long continued: "I said my father is the king of Mauritius, and I am the prince who came to China to study."

"Wow, this identity is too great!"

"I later learned that Mauritius has no king."

"We have to change again!"

Qi Long waved his hand: "No, no, no, those classmates don't know there is no king, they surrounded me, the prince, every day, that was the best time of my life, but it's a pity that the good times didn't last long!"

"what happened?"

"My dad is out of jail!"

The whole audience burst into laughter at this "filial son" remark.

"Who are you? It's a good thing that the old man is out of prison!"

"What good is that? When my dad was released from prison, he wanted to find a job, but nobody would hire him because he had been in prison. Without a job, he gave up on himself and became addicted to alcohol. He would go out drinking with a few of his friends every now and then!"

"That's not a good thing!"

"The worst thing is that every time he finishes drinking, his friends always send him back. Every time I send him back, I have to send him off politely to the uncles!"

"That's hospitality!"

"I went downstairs to see a few uncles off, and when I got back my drunken dad slapped me in the face: Why did you come back so late? Do you think I was wronged?!"

A short joke caused laughter again.

Qi Long thought that he couldn't go on like this, he had to find a hobby for his father to make him love life again and stop indulging in alcohol.

Thinking about how his father loved reading and his dream of becoming a librarian, Qi Long decided to open a library for his father.

"The library, that would cost a lot of money!"

Qi Long shook his head: "I can't afford to open a big library, so I cleaned up our living room and made it into a community library. People in the community who want to read can come to our house with their library cards and borrow books. There is no need to pay for borrowing books. It will give my father a job!"

"That's good!"

"My dad was also very happy and said to me: Son!"

"Yeah." Dong Qiang subconsciously responded in a supporting role.

Qi Long immediately looked at him in surprise, the audience immediately laughed, Dong Qiang slapped himself in the face and said: "Hey, I was so engrossed in the story."

"Son," Qi Long turned around and said, "Why don't you put on the pad?"

"You want to take advantage twice!"

"Son, you've grown up now and know how to think about your dad. Don't worry, I will run this community library well and never drink again," he said, and then he went to write the rules and regulations for borrowing books.

"Hey, that's good!"

“Take out the brush and put some calligraphy on the wall to increase the cultural atmosphere!”

"What are you writing about?"

"On the wall to the left of the entrance, it says that one cannot achieve his ambitions without being indifferent, and one cannot achieve his goals without being calm!"

"Zhuge Liang's "Admonitions to My Son", where is the right side?"

"Establish a heart for heaven and earth, establish a destiny for the living and the people, carry forward the unique teachings of the past saints, and create peace for all generations!"

"Wow, the four lines from Hengqu."

"In the living room, there are famous sayings and quotes, all of which encourage learning."

Dong Qiang started talking next, and Qi Long spoke each sentence fluently, which was very enjoyable for the audience, who applauded.

"That's all very well, but I have doubts about the two words my father has hung in the middle of the living room."

"What word?"

"Slut!"

There was laughter from the audience. After being so serious for so long, it became vulgar as soon as these two words came out!

"Ah? Isn't it all destroyed now?"

"I think so too, I said, Dad"

"Hey," Dongqiang agreed and took back the advantage he had gotten before.

Qi Long glared at him: "Son!"

"Hey!" Dongqiang was puzzled: "Aren't you calling your dad?"

"This is my father's reply to me, son, what's wrong?"

"have to"

"I said your characters are all good, but what does slut mean? After my father explained it to me, I realized that it should be read from right to left, and that character is not fu, but tan, the tan in tank, but the tu radical is written like the nu radical, and the dan in yuan dan next to it is not sealed on the left side and looks like the fu in women, and it was originally pronounced tan dang."

"Oh, that's what happened!"

Afterwards, Qi Long introduced the library and said that his father moved out his collection of books and various Chinese studies, and the library was officially opened.

The result was not satisfactory. After all, now is the information age, people can read e-books, so who would borrow books? The library was deserted.

"I had no choice but to take a photo of my home library and hand out flyers in the neighborhood. Wow, it actually worked!"

"Are there guests?"

"A lot of people came here, and they all asked where the slut was. You guys are such a headline party, you put up such big words saying slut, why didn't the slut come out!"

Dongqiang said "oh" amidst his laughter.

"My father quickly took off the frank words, and the guests dispersed immediately. However, there was an old lady who stayed. This old lady was also a famous person in our community. Her children were not around, and she was obsessed with the e-book of Shuangwen.

The key is that she didn’t read the official novel website, but the pirated one. As a result, she believed the health care product advertisement on the pirated novel website and was defrauded of a large sum of money. Her children were so angry that they confiscated her mobile phone. At that time, there was a loud noise in the community! "

"What's the quarrel?"

"His son and daughter are so loud. We work so hard outside to provide you with food and clothes, but all you do every day is play with your phone. You even top up your phone to buy so many useless things. Is that reasonable? Check quickly to see if there are any elderly people who can get a refund. Give it to them!"

“Where are the refunds for senior citizens?”

"No, the old lady's cell phone was confiscated, and she was depressed every day. When she heard about our library, she came to ask my father to borrow books." Dongqiang: "That's good. Your library doesn't charge for borrowing books, so there's no need to worry about being cheated."

"The problem is that we don't have the books she wants to read."

"What does she want to see?"

Qi Long counted on his fingers and said, "'The Overbearing CEO Falls in Love with Me When I'm Older' (Ah?), 'The Overbearing CEO Falls in Love with Me When I'm Divorced' (Wow!), 'The Overbearing CEO Falls in Love with Me When I'm Retired' (Hey!), 'The Overbearing CEO Falls in Love with Me in a Nursing Home' (Hmm?), 'The Overbearing CEO Falls in Love with Me in an Urn'."

"Hey hey hey" Seeing that Qi Long's words were getting more and more outrageous, the audience burst into laughter, and Dong Qiang also reached out to stop him.

But Qi Long didn't finish yet, and he ended with this sentence: "The overbearing president fell in love with me who had been buried for three years."
Dong Qiang shouted: "The overbearing president is overbearing, not stupid!"

Dong Qiang's voice was a bit sharp and quite magical, and coupled with the rhyme, the audience burst into laughter for no apparent reason.

"We don't have this book. The customer left disappointed, and our library has no customers anymore!"

Seeing that his father was depressed because no one visited the library, Qi Long came up with an idea.

"Let's first lure people in with some interesting novels."

“That’s called attraction!”

"Yes, yes, yes. Attract them and cultivate their interest in reading. Then slowly more people will borrow Chinese classics books!"

"That's a good idea!"

"But buying books alone costs a lot of money. I have an idea. Let's hold a book donation meeting in our community. It's called "New Book Donators". If everyone contributes, the fire will burn brighter. If everyone donates their own books, there's no need to buy them. Whoever donates the most popular books will be directly awarded the Book Donation King certification!"

Dong Qiang: "That's a good idea!"

"Soon, a book donor arrived. A neighbor brought us a copy of the famous novel, The Plum in the Golden Vase, with illustrations. I thought, 'You are testing me with this? If our bookstore is shut down, I will go back in."

"Yes, yes, this cannot be spread!"

Qi Long nodded: "So I quickly put it away and hid in the bed to review it first."

"You just want to see it."

"There are pictures in it, but it's just a picture of a bed with a tassel hanging on it, and a cat scratching the tassel. There's nothing illegal about it. So I went to find my neighbor and asked him, 'Brother, this book is wrong. The pictures don't match the text!'"

Dong Qiang: "So they are going to bring an army to investigate the crime!"

"My expectations were in vain. My brother told me not to be impatient. Look at this cat. Cats only grab things that move!"

The audience burst into laughter after a moment's reaction, and Dongqiang also acted as if he had suddenly realized something.

This is a metaphor, the bed is moving so the ear is in the east, so the cat is grabbing the ear!
"That's great. There are no violations. It's even been approved. Let's put it on the shelves. Everyone is rushing to circulate it. All of a sudden, this guy has become the book donation king in our community. People don't even walk properly anymore. They all walk like this!"

As he spoke, Qi Long pursed his lips, clasped his hands together, kicked his gown and started walking.

"This brother's surname is Guo, right?"

"His boasting made Brother Yu from the neighborhood unable to bear it anymore, so he came over and said he had something good, too."

"What good stuff?"

"The disc moves!"

"what?"

"I said you can't do this. You are harming me. Who can stand this kind of test? Stay here and I will review it privately first."

Dong Qiang: "Are you reviewing it? You just want to see it yourself!"

“I saw it, the scene was very simple.”

Dong Qiang put on a smile that showed he understood: "Yes, yes, yes!"

“No scene change!”

"really."

"Two people."

"Yes"

"A man."

"Yes."

"There is another man."

"Huh? Two men, who the hell is watching?"

“I watched it half the night!”

"You see two men watching each other for half the night?" Dong Qiang was shocked.

Qi Long nodded, but looked puzzled amid the laughter of the audience: "Yes, it's the best crosstalk works by Guo Degang and Yu Qian!"

Hilarious.

After the laughter, Qi Long asked, "What do you think?"

"I thought it was our crosstalk!"

"We both watch videos on the Internet, but we have never recorded a CD. When this CD came out, our library was packed with people. Many people rushed to get it. Uncle Yu became the king of donations. He went out every day with a beer bottle and a cigarette, showing off!"

"I need a perm!"

"Some people couldn't stand his boasting, so they donated restricted stuff to our house. Our family became more and more popular, but my father was worried. Finally, a volcano erupted. Go, go away. I want you to study, not to treat my place as a private cinema!"

After driving everyone away, Qi Long's father cleaned up the room and found that a batch of Chinese classics had been borrowed by the auntie who sold breakfast at the door.

Qi Long's father was moved and asked Qi Long to buy breakfast. It turned out that the books were used as table legs. Because the table was not high enough and people were not comfortable sitting on it, they were used to pad the table.

The hardcover book box is used by people to store change.

"The book has the embodiment of the golden house!"

"Are you kidding? The old man must be heartbroken!"

"Who said it wasn't? I was getting angry, but my father stopped him: Who said books are just for reading and memorizing? Being able to support the table legs also plays its role. In this world, some people think it is right, while others think it is wrong; some people think it is moral, while others think it is immoral.

Just like what is written in the Tao Te Ching, existence and non-existence give rise to each other, difficulty and ease complement each other, length and shortness contrast each other, high and low lean towards each other, sounds harmonize with each other, and the past and the future follow each other. This is the constant! "

"Master, are you trying to attain enlightenment?"

"I found out something was wrong with my dad. He had the power to hold up a kite!"

"How do you say this?"

"Crazy!" Qi Long's words made the audience, who were a little serious because of reciting the Tao Te Ching, laugh again.

Dong Qiang: "Are you still making a joke?"

"No, he's already using your books as a cushion for the table legs. Who cares if he wants to use his own books? My dad said he doesn't care. It's their business how they use the books they borrowed. They can just exchange them back in the future. Then he went home and wrote two words: Do Nothing!"

“This is the Taoist thought!”

"After that, my father never cared about the number of people in the reading room. As a result, he no longer cared. Instead, some people who were going to take the postgraduate entrance examination and the civil service examination gradually came to our reading room as a study room. It also attracted some book lovers to borrow Chinese classics. The library gradually became better!"

"really not bad!"

"My father was supernatural, reading his own books and writing his own words every day. Suddenly one day when I was sleeping, he woke me up and said: Son, son!"

"Hmm!" Dongqiang slapped himself again: "Why did I agree to it again!"

This small design also serves to continue the atmosphere. Otherwise, when the crosstalk comes out at the end, everyone will still be in the state of value and it will be difficult to have fun.

"Read ten thousand books, travel ten thousand miles, I have finished reading ten thousand books, it is time to go out and see the world, I want to go to Mauritius!"

"Be a king?" The joke turned around and the laughter grew.

"He just wanted to go and take a look, but he didn't let me go with him. He said he wanted to travel around the world, see everything, and pursue the path he wanted. I sent my father to the airport, waved goodbye, and tears were about to fall. I didn't know when my father would come back after he left.

He also saw my reluctance, so he took out a piece of paper opposite the security check, wrote a line of words, and gave it to the service staff to send over. "

"What are you writing about?"

"Should I leave or not? I have to leave. Should I stay or not? I can stay!"

Dong Qiang translated: "The old man is leaving and asked you to keep him!"

"I yelled, 'Dad, don't go yet (speaking coherently), what's the bank password?'

"Is this what you are reluctant to part with?"

The two brothers took a step back and bowed in laughter. At this point, a crosstalk that you can listen to for pure fun or you can sense the depth in it has come to an end.

The passage is talking about his own father, but actually it is talking about Lao Tzu who sees through everything. It is talking about the father, the Lao Tzu, also the Taoist Lao Tzu!

Of course, there are still many things that can be explored in depth and make people think, but these are not the responsibility of Qi Long and Dong Qiang. What the audience thinks is their business@
We just need to tell good crosstalk! (End of this chapter)