Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 36: Old Songs, New Songs
Dongqiang said he wanted to change the program, and Qi Long proposed to change it to "Focus on Interviews". His reason was the same as that of "Focus Together", that it was just one person talking seriously, which lacked fun, and that the Tianjin Allegro should be added.

After that, he performed a piece of Tianjin Kuaiban, a classic excerpt from Tianjin Big Baozi.

[After hitting the bamboo board like this, let’s not praise anything else, let’s praise the traditional food Jinmen big steamed buns. Its thin skin has eighteen folds and looks like a flower! ]

Qi Long finished singing this part, and Dong Qiang followed with the same rhythm:

[This is used to describe a dumpling. You can't use it carelessly. If you say that this girl is as beautiful as a flower, you must not say that this girl looks like a dumpling! ]

After the clapperboard performance, Qi Long said, "How about using this clapperboard to broadcast "Focus on Interviews"? It will be very popular then. But I can't show it to you today because I don't have the clapperboard with me."

"I have it with me!" Gao Dongqiang took out a clapperboard from his pocket: "I want to see how you use the Tianjin clapperboard to broadcast "Focus"!"

Gao Dongqiang started to play the clappers, and a musician played the yangqin beside him, playing the classic tune of Tianjin Allegro.
Qi Long was directly put on the stand: "You are being beaten with a bamboo board like this. I won't praise anything else. What should I say on today's "Interview Focus"? What should I say? What should I say?"

After repeating this several times, Gao Dongqiang couldn't help it anymore and increased the force of hitting the board, shouting with him: "We need to say something!"

The classic trick.

"Let's get to the point!"

Qi Long nodded: "It is said that the WTO will hold a meeting in our country this year. The O of the WTO is round and big, with a thin skin and a large filling, and eighteen folds."

While singing, he turned to Baozi. At this time, Gao Dongqiang stared at him in confusion.

Qi Long immediately changed the subject: "It can't be a guaranteed deal. The trade agreement is a bit difficult to sign. After our hard work, we finally got it. But the representative of the Free Country is a woman. She added more conditions just after the agreement was signed."

"Hmm?" Dong Qiang said.

Qi Long suddenly clamped his throat and used a high-pitched voice to imitate a woman's speech: "I don't want to eat anything else at the banquet tonight. I want some Tianjin big buns. I can eat three in one bite."

"Ouch!"

"Although she is a female representative who is usually dignified and chic, when the buns were served, she grabbed them with her hands and smacked them with her mouth. (pseudo-voice) Not bad, not bad, it tastes great. In our language, it's called wai rui gu de, biabiabiabiabia (smacking lips)."

Everyone in the audience was so amused by Qi Long's magical clapper sound that they were laughing and joking.

"I am the one reporting this interview. My name is Qi Long and I look like a flower. Please don't say I look like a bun!"

"Your name is Qi Long, but you don't look like a flower. You've turned the talk show into a steamed buns shop. Even though you don't have wrinkles on your face, you still look like steamed buns!" Gao Dongqiang counterattacked by clapping his hands.

Qi Long was puzzled: "Why are you talking to me so nicely?"

"Can it be changed like this? Adaptation is not fabrication. How can a negotiation be related to steamed buns? No, no, it can't be changed like this!" Gao Dongqiang waved his hand.

Qi Long nodded awkwardly, then his eyes lit up: "Then let's change the sports program?"

"Sports program? With the bamboo clappers beating like this, let's not praise anything else, but I'd like to praise the men's football team for playing like the big buns in Tianjin?"

"it is good!"

"What's so good about that? Sports programs also include Tianjin Allegro?"

"We can't sing Jinmen Kuaiban in sports programs, we have to sing Jingdong Dagu!" Qi Long said with a proud attitude: "As far as I know, I am the only one in the country who can sing Jingdong Dagu."

[The fiery red sun has just risen, and the morning glow covers half the sky]

By the second line, Gao Dongqiang started singing along: [Two people were walking on the road, an old man and a young man, ah ah ah.]

Qi Long was not convinced and continued to sing the next part: [Old man Zhang is over 50 years old this year]

[His daughter, Zhang Guilan, followed closely behind him.] Gao Dongqiang followed closely behind.

In this way, the two of them finished singing the passage that needed to be sung at the end of the comedy while bickering with each other.

This fighting technique is also a very common technique in crosstalk. I say I can do it, then I show it and then you can do it too. In order to know more than you, I make it up on the spot.

This is the job of "Singing Taiping Lyrics in a Wrong Way".

"How can this Jingdong drum be changed into a sports program!"

"Don't worry about it, just listen to me. I can't show it to you today because I didn't bring the sanxian." Gao Dongqiang interrupted again: "I brought it! Secretary Wang, bring the sanxian here!"

The staff came up with a prop sanxian, and someone brought a bench to help him adjust the microphone. Gao Dongqiang showed off his sanxian skills, and then looked at Qi Long: "Come on, start broadcasting sports programs with Jingdong drum."

After that, he began to play the strings. After the prelude, Qi Long asked, "What are you singing?"

"Women's football!"

Qi Long started singing: "The flaming red sun has just risen, half of the field has come out, and the Chinese team has two players on the field."

"several?"

"Um, eleven, and an old man." When Gao Dongqiang sang to this point, he glared at Qi Long.

Using expressions to question, where are the old men in women's football?
Qi Long immediately made up for it and sang loudly: "That's the coach!"

"Introduce the team members!" Gao Dongqiang reminded.

"Shanshan is over 50 years old this year."

"How old?"

"Fifteen or sixteen, twenty-five or twenty-six years old, followed by his daughter, no, the female players, all are beautiful women. Captain Shanshan is not simple, she carries the load and bounces the ball, you see this ball, it has a thin skin and a big filling, with eighteen folds, Tianjin's big buns are not so round, the female players come up and let Shanshan take a break and smoke a cigarette"

When Qi Long sang the part about the female captain carrying a load on her shoulder, Dong Qiang stared at him in confusion, and became more and more confused as time went on.

"Shanshan said, smoke after scoring the goal. Shanshan raised her foot and shot the ball. Hey hey hey hey (classic interlude of traditional folk art)"

Gao Dongqiang was anxious: "Did he get in?"

"Look at this ball, it's facing that goal, hey hey hey (interlude)"

"I asked you if you went in!"

"If you want to know whether the ball went in or not, we'll talk about it next time."

The folk art celebrities in the audience also started to applaud and cheer. They changed a traditional ditty into a piece full of jokes. That's real talent!

"How about it? Report it like this!"

"You are destined to be beaten. Will there be a next-time breakdown of the TV broadcast? You can't change it like this. Change it!"

Qi Long played the last program: "Weather Forecast".

"The snowflakes are as big as flowers? If you look closely, they are all big buns from Tianjin?" Dong Qiang asked back.

"Hey, no allegro or bass drum, we need to use a pop song secretary, bring up the guitar!"

Qi Long began to play the guitar and sang Cui Jian's classic rock song: "Rock on the Road Walked by Our Predecessors"

[I have heard of and seen the beautiful land of China. Walking across it for five thousand years, the mountains and rivers are magnificent. The wind is gentle and the rain is smooth, and the people are happy. The country is rich and the people are strong, and the weather is good all over the country, oh oh oh.]

"The weather is good all over the country!" Gao Dongqiang added: "Hey, isn't it windy in foreign countries?"

"What did you say?"

"Isn't there wind in foreign countries?"

"shave!"

"A few levels?"

【One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! 】

As the rock song was being sung, the classic tune of Tianjin Allegro was interspersed. Qi Long could not help but start to sing the Tianjin Allegro: "The bamboo clappers are played like this. I won't praise others. Others say that I, Qi Long, am like a flower, and that Dong Qiang next to me looks like a steamed bun!"

"Did I provoke you?"

At this point, the crosstalk ended, the two bowed, and received warm applause!
(End of this chapter)