Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 48 Dongqiang's Weight Loss Diary
The fact that Deyun Society is recording a group variety show is no secret, as actors have already mentioned it on stage before.

For example, Zhang Jiunan from Team 6 complained bitterly more than once on stage that he was not included in the group variety show. This was also for the promotion of the group variety show.

Now that the recording of the first episode has ended, the actors who participated in the recording will go on stage in a small theater and will mention the group variety show in their introduction part.

Of course, we are all crosstalk performers and know that we cannot dig up the work, so the specific content of the group variety show was not mentioned. It was just like a trailer to stimulate everyone's interest.

For example, Qin Xiaoxian, when his partner Sun Jiuxiang went on stage, expressed his envy of him for participating in a group variety show. Qin Xiaoxian immediately waved his hands and said, what is he envious of? He was badly cheated, and the one who cheated him the most was Uncle-Master Qi Long.

Wouldn't the audience be curious about how he managed to do it?

Then there are Shaobing and Cao Heyang. When they mentioned Luan Yunping on stage, they directly called her "Xiao Luan". Why? Go watch the show!
In short, everyone is talking about it, and the crosstalk lovers in Deyun Society are all looking forward to it.

Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang also need to talk. Their performance at Tianqiao Theater was a great success.

The Deyun team 4 was led by Yan Hexiang. Guo Qilin went to take part in other variety shows and Yan Hexiang was not going to perform either, so it was natural for the two of them to take over the job of being the closing act.

"Next, please enjoy the crosstalk "Dongqiang's Weight Loss Diary", performed by Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang!"

Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang took the stage and bowed: "Dongqiang, we have gained a lot from this group show!"

"What did you get?"

"I'll be in Team Four when I get back!"

"That is!"

"Do you know why? I made Guo Qilin cry in the group show. He cried so hard that his voice became hoarse and he couldn't come. It was natural for the two of us to be the last one!"

"You are so wicked!"

Why did Qi Long make Guo Qilin cry? Go watch the show!
"What's wrong with being immoral? I'm immoral for the two of us! If I were not immoral, our names combined would be Qi Delong Dongqiang."

The opening joke was a name joke that was thrown out to cause laughter.

"Speaking of group shows, Dongqiang, you are lucky. Five years ago, you definitely wouldn't have been able to participate!"

"why?"

“Too fat!”

"Oh, fat people are not allowed to participate!"

"Of course not. Deyun Douxiao Club is an outdoor entertainment program. If he is too fat, he can't run!"

"That's right, it requires physical strength! Then why did Yue Yunpeng go? Isn't he very fat?"

"Oh, what you said, Xiao Yue looks fat when he is alone, but in fact he is often overlooked as a fat guy! (Why?) Because there is an even fatter Sun Yue standing next to him, the one who raises elephants, his role is to make Yue Yunpeng look not that fat!"

"Five years ago, Dongqiang and Sun Yue stood together. Oh, that was incredible!"

"what happened?"

At this point, the audience will think that it may be saying that Sun Yue doesn't look fat when he is next to Dong Qiang, which echoes the previous words, and the guessed joke may not be that funny.
So Qi Long’s burden was not this, but: “It’s just like Sun Yue taking an elephant out for a walk!”

The audience laughed, which not only showed how fat Dongqiang was, but also provided some witty material.

Next, let’s talk about Dongqiang’s weight loss. From now on, the weight loss effect has been very successful. He recorded his weight loss experience in a book called "Dongqiang Weight Loss Diary".

"Teacher Dongqiang's diary is a serious diary!"

"Correct!"

Qi Long immediately changed his tone to that of a movie star: "Who would write a diary if they were serious? Can what is written in a diary be what is in their heart? Can what is in their heart be written in a diary? It's despicable!"

"Why am I such a slut?"

"You don't understand this, right? I've read your diary carefully, and I found that the most classic and effective way to lose weight you summarized in this diary is clapping!"

The audience understood as soon as they heard it and immediately applauded.

After the applause died down, Gao Dongqiang looked at Qi Long with disdain: "Your way of asking for applause is too low-class. Ouch, I'm so embarrassed!"

"I'm really embarrassed. That's not the kind of applause I'm clapping for!"

"That is?"

"Clap for love!" Qi Long showed a rather obscene smile.

"Clap for love?" Gao Dongqiang wondered.

Qi Long stretched out his hand and clapped three times. Some audience members understood immediately and laughed, while others were confused.

Gao Dongqiang was confused at first, but then he suddenly realized: "So my weight loss diary is a verb?"

"That's right, I've kept a record of it for more than 700 days. Life lies in exercise! Otherwise you will lose weight quickly!"

With this joke, coupled with Qi Long's response, even the audience who didn't understand the joke got it and burst into laughter. It was such a high-level dirty joke.

"Don't talk nonsense, there is no such thing!"

"Just kidding. Teacher Dongqiang used himself as an experimental subject and tried all kinds of weight loss methods. He summarized the effective weight loss methods. I wrote them all down! First of all, the first one he tried was called Bigu (pi)!"

"Bi Gu, why are you talking about something else again!"

"Yes, yes, yes. In short, he didn't eat anything. It was the Little New Year at that time, and he changed the formula from Little New Year to New Year's Eve into a fart. Bigu version!"

"You mean the 23rd, the sticky candy, and the 24th, the house-sweeping one?"

"Yes!"

"Then I am twenty-three:"

"Hungry for a day!"

"Oh, if you're hungry for one day, that means you can't eat. What about twenty-four?"

"A day for fasting! It is a day for people to avoid eating anything. They don't eat anything."

"Twenty-five:"

"On an empty stomach!"

"I've been hungry for three days. It's time to have something to eat, right? Twenty-Six:"

“Look at the meat!”

"Just looking at it? Oh, twenty-seven:"

"Look at the chicken!"

"Twenty-eight:"

"Smell the duck!"

"Twenty-nine:"

"Send you away!"

"Ah? I left?! Is that what I wrote in my diary?"

"Yes, I remember it very clearly. You were so hungry that you fainted that day. I sent you to the hospital, and the doctor said that you can't diet to lose weight, you have to eat!"

"This is right!"

"You just ask the doctor what you can eat. The doctor said you can just search online for good foods to eat for weight loss. Dongqiang was weak at the time and asked me to search for him, so I copied the diet on the Internet and sent it to him: 1. Nuts (these are high-quality fats), 2. Eggs (these are high-quality proteins), 3. Cucumbers (dietary fiber vegetables), 4. Apples (these are fruits, vitamins), 5. Sweet potatoes (carbohydrates with lower calories)"

After finishing speaking, Gao Dongqiangmei said: "Look at this, everything the human body needs is listed here!"

"Oh no, after a while you asked me to take you to the hospital again!"

"Why am I sick again?"

"After seeing you, your stomach is as big as a ball. Tell me (weak), one nut, two eggs, and three cucumbers are no problem. Four apples are barely enough. Five sweet potatoes will make me die!"

“I eat by the number, right?”

"Later, he knew that he needed to eat in moderation, eat less rice and more fruit. He often brought fruit with him when we went out together. I remember one time, he brought a mango!"

"Mango is good, low in calories and delicious."

"But he was wearing a T-shirt and had nowhere to put it, so he put it behind his crotch. When he was riding the bus, the mango cracked with a "pop" sound, and yellow water flowed out all over the ground!"

"Ouch."

"Everyone on the bus ran away. Dongqiang got anxious. To prove that he was not running away in public, he picked up the sticky mango and stuffed it into his mouth. When people under the bus saw this, they all vomited!"

There was laughter from the audience, and the picture appeared!
Let me tell you, we mainly write crosstalk, and then write outdoor variety shows, interspersed with daily life

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(End of this chapter)