Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!
Chapter 52: Don't Let the Comedians Improvise
Chapter 52: Don't Let the Comedians Improvise
"Mr. Qi!" Sun Honglei clasped his right hand in a fist and said in a fake bow.
Qi Long bowed politely and said, "Director Sun, you invited me here."
"There is a professor in our country B who loves to listen to operas. He specifically asked to hear you sing!"
"It's my pleasure!"
Director Sun turned and walked towards the Longmen Hotel. Qi Long lagged behind him half a step, following him with his head slightly lowered.
"Welcome!" Gao Dongqiang, the doorman at the side, bowed to the two.
After the two men left, the camera stayed and turned to film Dongqiang.
Dong Qiang spat, "You traitorous dog A, and that grandson of country B, you are a monkey in human form, but you can't learn the etiquette of my country A well. You are a grown man, but you are bowing with your right hand on top. Bah!"
"Dongqiang!" Luan Yunping walked over.
"Hey, cousin!"
"Your parents introduced you to my company, so work hard and don't hang around on the streets anymore. Who was the distinguished guest who just came in?" Luan Yunping patted Dong Qiang's arm.
Dong Qiang said, "Director, there is also that famous actor, his name is Qi Long!"
"My name is Qi Delong, why did you take off the word 'people'?"
"It's a disdainful act to betray one's ancestors!" Dong Qiang said with disdain.
"Shut up, don't say that again. Mr. Qi is a guest of honor of the officer of Country B. If you don't want to die, don't talk nonsense. Think about your parents and your relatives. The war between the two countries has nothing to do with us ordinary people. Do you understand? I'm going to entertain the guests!"
As Luan Yunping walked towards the reception room, the camera followed him. Along the way, he told the chef Shaobing to work hard and chatted with the apartment worker Cao Heyang.
After entering the restaurant, he saw Qin Xiaoxian and Zhang Helun who were eating. He asked them to order, and the camera moved away and walked towards the main table.
At the main table, Sun Honglei, Guo Degang, Qi Long, Guo Qilin and Meng Hetang were sitting together.
"Professor Guo, let me introduce you. This is the famous actor here, Qi Delong, and this is our friend from country B, Mr. Meng Hetang. This is... someone who studied abroad at a university in country B?" Sun Honglei was stunned halfway through his speech and looked at Meng Hetang.
"This is my friend, Guo Qilin, who studies literature!" Meng Hetang introduced with a smile on his face.
From here on, the one-shot ends and the actors begin to perform freely.
Guo Degang glanced at Guo Qilin and said, "He doesn't look like a college student at all. He looks like a middle school dropout!"
Guo Qilin laughed dryly: "I look uneducated, just like my father. My father is like that. He is obviously an old scholar, but everyone looks at him like a fool who didn't even graduate from elementary school!"
"Can your father also be compared to a fool?" Guo Degang sneered.
"Can't we compare?"
Qi Long held back his laughter. Why did he end up on "Eight Screens"?
This is the scene that occurs in the crosstalk "Eight Screens". It is not okay for the funny man to criticize the supporting man's culture, so the supporting man calls me a "fool", "reckless", "rascal", "not a human being", "dog" and so on, asking the funny man not to take him seriously.
The funny guy is very serious. You can't compare with the words you say. Then there is a piece of running lines, for example, the reckless man refers to Zhang Fei!
When Guo Degang asked, Qi Long thought he was going to recite the passage from The Fool.
Unexpectedly, Lao Guo changed the subject: "Mr. Qi is a famous actor in Country A, proficient in various traditional operas. Please tell him who is a fool!"
Qi Long was stunned for a moment. How did he get to me?
How come a good variety show has turned into an impromptu test like "Thank God You're Here"? Fortunately, he was familiar with the traditional jokes, so after a brief pause, he opened his mouth:
【Thinking back to the time when Confucius and Yan Hui were in the company of Yan, Zeng, and Si, Yan Hui and Confucius were looking forward to seeing each other. Yan Hui did not understand what the sage said. He said, "My disciple is really a fool!"】
As Qi Long finished reciting the verse.
Guo Degang pointed at Guo Qilin and said, "Listen, only the disciple of Confucius can compare himself to a fool. Is your father worthy of this?"
"You're totally unworthy!" Qi Long immediately responded.
Guo Qilin looked at Lao Guo's encouraging eyes and said, "Yes, yes, my father is just a reckless person!"
"Bah, he can compare himself to a reckless person? Mr. Meng seems to have studied traditional folk art. Tell me, what is a reckless person?" Qi Long, who was already prepared to recite, shut up silently.
Well, it became Lao Guo testing his apprentice.
Meng Hetang stood up: [There was a reckless man in the Three Kingdoms of the Later Han Dynasty]
After telling the story of Zhang Fei, someone said that Zhang Fei was the reckless person. Does your father deserve to be called that?
"Then..." Guo Qilin was speechless.
"Then his father is not a human being!" Qi Long said.
"Hey, what right do you have to scold my dad?" Guo Qilin immediately showed his anger.
"Why do you praise his father?" Guo Degang shouted.
"Are you still praising me?"
This time Lao Guo came himself and told a story about Cao Cao. After Cao Cao was spared by Guan Yu at Huarong Pass, he lamented that he was really not a human being. Can your father be compared to Cao Cao?
In fact, there is also a dog. The story about the dog tells the story of Xiaotian Dog, saying that Xiaotian Dog is a good dog and you are not even as good as a dog.
However, Sun Honglei has begun to push the main storyline forward.
He almost couldn't hold it in just now. These crosstalk actors were so talkative when they improvised, and they kept scolding Guo Degang in front of him. It was a very absurd and funny scene!
It was Lao Guo himself who took the lead. Is there anyone who sits here and starts scolding himself?
He interrupted quickly: "Okay, okay, let's not talk about his father anymore, let's just listen to Mr. Qi sing, shall we?"
Guo Degang nodded: "Okay, I want to listen to "Zuo Gong" from "Silang Visits His Mother"!
Qi Long was embarrassed: "Mr. Guo, that part needs two people to sing. The couple sings very fast, so one person can't do it!"
"No, no, just the part called 'Calling Xiaofan' will do!"
Are you waiting for me here? Let me be high-profile.
Well, then come on: [When I saw the princess steal the imperial edict, I couldn’t help but feel happy, and I stood at the palace gate and called Xiaofan! ! ! ]
You can still sing it.
Guo Degang clapped his hands and cheered: "Okay, come on, Mr. Qi, have a drink!"
The two drank it all in one gulp. Qi Long took Guo Degang's wine glass on his own initiative, turned his back to help him pour the wine, and then put the drug that could make people knock out into a daze, completing his main task. He turned around and looked at Sun Honglei.
"Director Sun, I have a piece of traditional allegro here. Would you like to listen to it?" Qi Long asked.
Sun Honglei, a professional actor, had always been in character and immediately frowned: "Why are you asking me, Mr. Guo?"
"Listen, listen, listen!" Guo Degang shouted immediately.
Qi Long took out a clapper from his pocket: "A traditional clapper, called Huaqiang Buys Melons, for you all!"
Upon hearing this, the four people at the table were stunned. Huaqiang buying melons?
Isn't that the famous clip when Sun Honglei played the ruthless Liu Huaqiang? The melon vendor was being cunning and Huaqiang found out and pretended to buy a melon and stabbed him!
Is this called traditional allegro?
Qi Long didn't care which one it was. When he saw Sun Honglei, he remembered the clip he had seen on the video website and immediately started clapping:
[Everyone praises Liu Huaqiang's deeds. He has played with flowers since he was a child. He is as majestic as a demon, brave and good at fighting, and has traveled the world. It is said that one day, Huaqiang felt a little thirsty and wanted to have a big watermelon. As a man of action, he did not hesitate and set off on his will-o'-the-wisp. The road turned quickly, just because Huaqiang never squeezed when riding a bicycle, and he just let go of the handlebars along the way.]
Sun Honglei, who had been able to hold his composure just now, immediately became happy and started riding his bike. The scene started!
Guo Degang also clapped: "Yes, yes, this is an old poem, good!"
The new fast-paced section is the work of UP host, Fast-paced Metaverse!
(End of this chapter)
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