Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 61: Planing the Letterpress "Ba Ma Gua"

In the past, when Deyun Society performed "Ba Ma Gua" and Guo Degang's disciples showed their talents on the side, the old couple would look down on them and say, "I can sing all the songs you sing, please sing something I can't sing." The disciples were so anxious that they said they wanted to quit.

When it comes to Qi Long's version, whatever he sings, Guo Degang praises it.

When singing a ditty, Guo Degang praised her: "You sing really well, and you are quick to respond. You can answer any question you ask!"

When singing Peking Opera, Guo Degang praised him: "My junior brother sings really well!"

Yu Qian said: "It doesn't even have the bangzi flavor!"

Singing the songs he released, Guo Degang said: "If my junior brother becomes a composer and singer, others will have nothing to eat!"

Qi Long was very proud, but then he changed his mind and said, "No, brother, I am so capable and better than you in everything. Why should I work for you? I want to start my own business!"

"Ah?" Old Guo was immediately dumbfounded.

Qi Long waved his hand and said, "I'm going to set up a club called: Dangan Deyun!"

As soon as these words were spoken, the audience immediately understood. Those who follow Deyun Society know that the resigned disciple Cao Yunjin set up a club called "Ting Yun Xuan". The characters he wrote are in traditional Chinese characters, and the character "Xuan" is on the left and is particularly large.

The traditional Chinese character for “听” is also written as 聽, which is the same as the right half of the character “德”.

A crosstalk lover joked that the name of your theater is "Dan Gan Deyun"!
The audience who reacted immediately applauded. On the Deyun stage and in front of Lao Guo, only Qi Long, Lao Guo's close junior brother, would bring up the Ting Yunxuan joke. How could the other disciples dare to talk about it?

"Someone called this name!" Yu Qian flipped over his bag, causing an explosion again.

Qi Long listened to the advice and said, "Then I will be called Dangan Degang. If someone as good as me goes out to work alone, you brothers will definitely not be able to withstand my pressure. Look back at the hot search terms, Guo Degang is cracked!"

Guo Degang held his waist and said, "Junior brother, your Guo Degang is cracked, is it not a white spoon?"

Yu Qian reacted for a moment, and acted surprised: "You did it so cruelly?"

The whole audience burst into laughter. This joke was too vulgar. From the beginning, it was safe to enter and leave, to the end, it was so vulgar that he opened the door for him.
Qi Long looked bewildered and waved his hands: "Hey, what are you two thinking about? 'Split' is an internet term, which means a person is sad, desperate, speechless, and about to split apart. Like this 'split'!"

Lao Guo said, "Right, I was afraid that everyone might misunderstand me, so I asked, Brother Qian, what do you think?"

Yu Qian responded quickly: "I think so too. Uh, your senior brother is still supporting you. He is still speaking for you even when you are about to fight him alone!"

"Why am I so cheap?"

"Come, Degan, let me have a word with him!"

Yu Qian stood in the middle and asked Qi Long if he really wanted to go out and work alone. After getting a positive answer, he took off his jacket.

Qi Long struggled hard, pushed Yu Qian away, and swung his hands like children fighting, driving Yu Qian away.

Guo Degang slammed the table and said: "My junior brother also knows martial arts!"

"Senior brother, how come your partner's hands are so quick? He stripped people's clothes on the stage!" Qi Long complained while buttoning his clothes.

Guo Degang: "Nonsense, let Qiansao's hands be faster!"

Yu Qian turned around and spat: "Go to hell, I'm busy with work, Qi Long, if you want to go, leave your jacket for me!"

This is the real work. According to the setting, Qi Long's jacket belongs to Yu Qian, but it was borrowed by Qi Long from Qian's wife. Qian's wife said that Qian Ge always spoke in a vague and incoherent way outside, which often caused others to laugh at him.

Please ask Qi Long to help him make amends so that he won’t be laughed at again.

As soon as he said this, Yu Qian started to talk nonsense, saying, "We live in the suburbs. A few days ago, there was a strong wind. It blew away a well more than 40 meters deep in our yard and blew it outside the yard!"

Guo Degang interrupted Yu Qian's nonsense: "You are just making things up!"

"Why am I so vague? If you don't believe me, ask him. He saw it!" Yu Qian pointed at Qi Long.

Guo Degang nodded and turned to this side: "Junior brother, it is said that a person's well was destroyed by a strong wind and ran away outside!"

"What the hell? Only someone with dihydrogen monoxide in his brain can say that, right?"

"Dihydrogen monoxide?" Lao Guo was puzzled.

Qi Long looked at him with disdain: "That's right, chemical knowledge is a bit advanced for your Guo family. The highest level of education is the second grade of junior high school. If you haven't touched it, it's just water!"

"Then why don't you just say water? And dihydrogen monoxide? What you mean is that this is impossible!"

"impossible!"

Yu Qian immediately came up and pulled off Qi Long's jacket: "Take it off!"

"Why are you taking it off?" Qi Long hit Yu Qian's hand, and this time he pushed Yu Qian away with both hands.

Yu Qian shouted, "The well was blown outside by the wind, that's what I said!"

"You said so!"

"Yes, that didn't happen!" Guo Degang watched the fun from the side.

Qi Long immediately shouted: "Yes!"

He said it very firmly and asked Qi Long to explain. Qi Long began to look embarrassed: "Speaking of this well, how did it get blown outside? (Ang) How did this well get blown outside?"

Qi Long spoke slowly, as if he was thinking of a solution, and said the same thing twice in a row.

The third time begins: "Well!"

Guo Degang said the second half of the sentence with him: "How did it get blown out? Junior brother, did you see it?"

Qi Long slapped his head and said, "Oh, that's right. I remember now. This is a dry well. All the dihydrogen monoxide in the well is gone, so it was blown away!"

"Has dihydrogen monoxide entered your brain? Even a dry well can't be blown away!" "How can a dry well not be blown away? When a strong wind comes, the house will be destroyed, let alone a well?" Qi Long said righteously.

"The house was blown away, and the well was also there!"

"I remember now. It wasn't the well that was blown away. It was the wall of their house. The fence was blown into the yard. When Qian got up and looked, he thought the well had been blown outside!"

The above is the normal process of spreading lies. The person who is trying to cover up the lie needs to think about it, talk nonsense to buy time, and then give a relatively reasonable explanation!

Yu Qian was very satisfied with Qi Long's explanation: "You can wear the Ma Gua for another month. I live in the suburbs, but my parents live in the city. They got 400 million yuan from the demolition some time ago, but they didn't tell me and moved. Later I found out that they moved to Taiyangli."

Before he could finish his arrogant nonsense, Qi Long suddenly spoke.

"I know this. Someone from the moving company told him. The person had an accent and said that the couple moved to Taiyangli, but they actually moved to Kaiyangli near the Second Ring Road!"

After Qi Long finished speaking, Guo Degang and Yu Qian looked at him in confusion, as if they didn't understand at all. Why did you suddenly reveal the truth?

Guo Degang: "Junior brother, I haven't even answered this question yet!"

"He has told this story several times. I know it by heart. I have explained it. Let's continue. It's still a mystery."

Yu Qianyi gritted his teeth and said, "I am a filial person. My mother lost both thumbs while working in a factory. I was afraid that the old lady would feel inferior, so I bought her all gold jewelry, including a necklace, earrings, and ten large rings, one for each finger!"

"That's because the old lady was born with six fingers, a total of twelve fingers, minus two there are ten left!"

Guo and Yu were confused again.

Qi Long was proud: “I’ve heard of it!”

Yu Qianyi was furious: "That day, a group of us were having dinner, and halfway through the meal, a roast duck flew in through the window!"

Qi Long: "The duck roaster was carrying a duck on a pole. He got into an argument with someone and couldn't help hitting the person with the pole. When he swung the pole, the duck flew up!"

Yu Qian: "Our mule."

"Dropping a tea bowl and drowning? That's because you exchanged a mule for a cricket, and the cricket drowned!" This time, Qi Long answered the question before he finished speaking.

Yu Qian: "Our dog."

"Can you tell what time it is by looking at the dog's tail? There's a watch tied to the dog's tail!" Qi Long reacted faster this time.

Yu Qian was completely stunned, and the audience never stopped laughing.

It was the first time I saw the use of scraping in "Ba Ma Gua". As soon as the roundness came out, the bottom was scraped away. It was visible to the naked eye. Both Guo and Yu were stunned.

In fact, this is a superb performance by the two of them. Although Qi Long seems to be unconventional and innovative, the real talent lies in the two performers, especially Yu Qian, whose emotional transitions are very important.

Relying on Qi Long in a mandarin jacket to cover up his lies, he spoke arrogantly at first. But when Qi Long dug him up, he panicked and became anxious, and began to speak quickly. Qi Long dug him up quickly, and he became even more panicked in the end.

Qi Long was proud: "You're out of words? During the year I was in the hospital, you've heard all the confusing things you said! If you have the guts, come on and say something you haven't said before!"

Yu Qian wiped the sweat from his forehead, the audience shouted "Come on!", and Guo Degang was still enjoying the show.

"Brother Qian, let's step down, okay?" Guo Degang poked his fan on the table and jokingly said.

Yu Qian took a deep breath and said, "Oh, I got it. Last time I was riding my motorcycle, it had 82 cylinders and it crashed. All of them were damaged. Didn't you tell me about this?"

As he told a new story, the audience began to applaud.

"No!" Guo Degang immediately turned around and looked at Qi Long with a gloating look: "Is there a motorcycle with 82 cylinders?"

This time it was Qi Long's turn to be embarrassed. Yu Qian said: "If you can't do it, take off your jacket!"

"Okay, let's talk about this motorcycle. How come it has eighty-two cylinders? This motorcycle, how come it has eighty-two cylinders, motorcycle..."

"How come he has eighty-two jars?" This time the three of them said it together.

Qi Long talked for a while and then started talking about the history of motorcycles, starting with the history of motorcycles.

"In 1885, German Gottlieb Daimler installed an engine into a frame machine, and the world's first motorcycle was born."

To put it in a biased way, he was just stalling for time. Guo Degang quickly stopped him and said that there was no time left, Yue Yunpeng was waiting to go on stage, can you do it?
"Okay, I get it. He said that his motorcycle crashed into someone's yard. All 82 pickle jars in the yard were cracked and damaged!"

As Qi Long finished his explanation, the audience began to applaud.

Yu Qian was also satisfied with the nonsense: "You can wear the Ma Gua for another three months. Some time ago, I went to Mercury with a friend. Later, we found a golden fish on Mercury. When we were about to catch it, the fish flew away. The fish flew away, so we flew too. We followed the fish soaring in the sky and flew to Venus together."

Guo Degang couldn't stop Yu Qian, and his words became more and more outrageous.

Qi Long began to take off his jacket.

Guo Degang: "Brother Qian, that's enough, that's enough, you are talking nonsense!"

"If you don't believe me, ask him!"

"Junior brother, he said they went to Mercury"

"He's talking nonsense!" Qi Long immediately shouted, "I'll return your jacket to you!"

After saying that, he threw his Ma褂 on the table. The three of them smiled at each other, took a step back, and bowed to thank the audience.

The audience burst into thunderous applause. The hilarious interludes, excellent talents, and innovative performances were all very impressive. Just this crosstalk alone, today's tickets can be described in four words:

Great value for money!
Personally, I think the latter part of San Ge's "Ba Ma Gua" is very strong and novel, and it shocked crosstalk fans overnight. However, the front part is a bit fragmented. He Lun's introductory part is better. This is just my personal opinion.

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(End of this chapter)