Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 66 Crosstalk: "I Want to Take the Postgraduate Entrance Examination"

On the way back, Qi Long and Sa Beining had already agreed that if Nicomati and Gao Dongqiang asked them what the program was, they should insist it was traveling, a leisurely and enjoyable travel.

We have to arouse their anticipation, and then the sudden challenge will make the show more effective!

This program is not a fixed program yet, it can only be regarded as a trial broadcast. Director Xie was inspired by the outdoor variety show "Deyun Douxiaoshe" and also plans to move the recording scene to the outdoors.

We are currently planning to produce three episodes. If the results are good, we will make it a seasonal variety show and invite regular guests and guest stars.

Director Xie was naturally very satisfied with Sa Beining and Qi Long's performance of being hard-working, finding joy in adversity and being able to reach new heights, and he simply circled their names.

If it becomes a seasonal variety show in the future, they must be invited.

The return journey was also quite long, with several hours in the car, plus several hours waiting at the airport. Sa Beining opened his iPad and started watching the latest episode of "De Yun Dou Xiao She".

In this episode of Douxiaoshe, the people from Deyun Culture Co., Ltd. with limited education are set as students taking the college entrance examination. The time is the year when the college entrance examination has just been resumed. Everyone first does farm work, then studies late into the night, memorizing simple knowledge points, and experiencing the life of the young people who went to the countryside during that period.

The last ten people stood on the glass above the swimming pool and started answering questions. If they got them wrong, they would fall down. Luan Yunping took first place and chose Qi Long as his partner in the crosstalk theater.

This crosstalk performance was held near the Imperial Capital University City. It was performed for many college students who were returning to school early as their vacation was about to end. Many of them were members of the Student Union. Qi Long created a new show called: "I Want to Take the Postgraduate Entrance Examination!"
This program is not a crosstalk from another world, but a lecture video of a postgraduate entrance examination tutor from another world, but it has the label of crosstalk.

So Qi Long clicked on it.

Then, a person who had no intention of taking the postgraduate entrance examination and was not even in the same world as him, was actually so engrossed in it that he did not even fast forward for the 50 minutes and watched it from beginning to end. This humorous lecturer made the students in the class laugh from time to time.

Based on what he said and the differences in this world, Qi Long came up with this crosstalk.

"Teacher Sa, let's watch it together!" Director Xie suggested.

The entire bus was filled with staff from the program crew, so there was no possibility of turning on the loudspeaker to disturb other people, so Sa Beining turned on the loudspeaker and listened to the crosstalk together.

As soon as he came on stage, Qi Long started the topic by saying that he envied Luan Yunping.

"Are you from Tsinghua University?" Qi Long asked.

"Self-taught exams are nothing!" Luan Yunping said modestly.

"Great, I can tell from your voice. Come on, three gentlemen, come and give me a bath. Boss, can you give me some salt?"

"I'm a bath scrubber, right?"

"Aren't you from Tsinghua University?" Qi Long looked surprised.

Luan Yunping: "I'm from Tsinghua University!"

"Oh, yes, yes, I'm a professional researcher on how to remove dirt from the human skin!"

"Isn't that still a bath?"

"I envy you. With this diploma, you can be a senior executive in Deyun Society, but I can only be a small actor. I am thinking that I also want to get a diploma and take the postgraduate entrance examination!"

"Graduate school entrance exam? Are there any comedians in Deyun Society who are taking the postgraduate entrance exam?"

"You look down on me, don't you? No one had ever eaten crabs before the first person ate crabs."

"Aren't you talking nonsense?"

"I want to be the first comic actor in Deyun Society to get a postgraduate degree. I have studied everything that is required for the postgraduate entrance examination. There are four subjects, not singing, acting, and singing (that is crosstalk), not singing, reciting, acting, and fighting (that is opera), and not voice, stage, and appearance (that is acting)"

When Qi Long spoke, he had to raise his head and think for a while, as if he was quickly realizing what he wanted to take the test on.

"It can't be a scam!"

“That’s an actor from the Deyun Society!”

"Huh?" Qi Long was confused by him.

The audience inside the phone and the people in the car outside the phone laughed in unison.

Then we talked about the serious subjects, political science, foreign languages, mathematics and professional courses. Qi Long said that the most important one is mathematics, because mathematics plays a very important role in pulling up the score. The difference in scores between political science and foreign languages ​​is not too big.

"For example, in political science, there are very few people with scores above 80 and below 50. Most of them are in the 60s or 70s. There are not many people with scores below 50, and even fewer with scores below 40. They will soon disappear!"

Luan Yunping asked: "Why?"

"Take them all out and shoot them!"

"Hi"

"It's not realistic to get a score below 40 in political science at Hua Xia! The same goes for foreign languages. It's hard to get a high score. A score of 40 is basically the pass mark for most schools."

"Oh, a score of 40 or so is enough? What if I can score over 50?" "Then you'd be good!"

"What about 60?"

“That’s pretty good!”

"70!"

"You are awesome!"

"What about 80?"

"You're so awesome! Everyone has to call you a genius student!"

Luan Yunping asked excitedly: "What if I can score over 90?"

Qi Long turned his head and said, "If you can get more than 90 points in the exam, I will set up a stall for you at the Capital Zoo, and you can charge admission. I will have CCTV make a special program for you. Approaching science is approaching you, and man and nature are man and you. A new species is born, and that's you!"

"what?"

“That’s basically not something a human can do!”

At this time, a staff member who had never been involved in the postgraduate entrance examination asked graduate student Sa Beining: "Teacher Sa, is this true?"

Sa Beining raised his head, spread his hands, and shrank his neck: "I don't know, I was recommended by the graduate school."

Qi Long covered his face and said, "You are really good at pretending! Invisible pretense is the most deadly!"

In the crosstalk on the phone, Qi Long began to talk about the difficulty of mathematics.

[People can do anything when pushed into a corner, except math. If you can’t do math, you just can’t do it, no matter how hard you push it.]

[If you don’t know how to answer a big political question, you can just write something based on your feelings; if you don’t know how to answer a big foreign language question, you can just copy the reading comprehension questions; if you don’t know how to answer a big math question, you can only write down the solution! ]

"Hahahahahahahahaha!" Everyone in the car was laughing so hard.

Real, so real!
"Uncle Master, you are really knowledgeable. Which university do you plan to apply to?" Luan Yunping asked.

Qi Long started to show off: "I won't take the exam lightly. If I have to take the exam, I'll have to take a top one. I don't like ordinary colleges."

"Ouch!"

“I won’t even take the 211 exam!”

"Hoo ho!"

"985, I don't even want to study in an ordinary 985!"

"Hoo ho ho!"

"I want to study in one of the thirty-four universities that have the ability to set their own admission scores for the postgraduate entrance examination, referred to as the thirty-four universities!"

"Which thirty-four?"

"Listen carefully. The capital has Tsinghua University, Peking University, Renmin University, Beijing Normal University, Beihang University, Beijing Institute of Technology and China Agricultural University. Tianjin has two 34 universities named Tianjin University and Nankai University."

The staff on the bus were also stunned when they heard Qi Long's clear and new interlude "Report the Name of the School" and they applauded like the audience.

After mentioning 34 schools in a row, the audience began to applaud.

Luan Yunping spread his hands and said, "Oh no! There are new lines to learn for crosstalk!"

Next, Luan Yunping asked Qi Long what he knew about these universities. Qi Long told him to ask anything he wanted, as he had researched them all.

Why are Wuhan University and Huazhong University of Science and Technology claiming to be the best in Hubei Province?

Nanjing University and Southeast University wanted to merge in Jinling but couldn't agree on the name. Why couldn't they agree? Nanjing University said, "You guys have a name of Nan, we have a name of Jing, and we still call it Nanjing University." Southeast University said, "You guys have a name of Nan, we have a name of Dong, and we still call it Southeast University."
In Harbin Institute of Technology in Harbin, there are always students who report the wrong name because of the similarity between the names, like Harbin Institute of Technology, Harbin Engineering University, etc.

After a while, Luan Yunping asked Qi Long which university he wanted to apply to. Qi Long said he wanted to apply to the best one, which was of course Tsinghua University!
As soon as these words came out, Sa Beining pressed the pause button and looked at Qi Long who was sitting next to him: "I want to correct your misconception: Peking University is the best!"

"Hahahahahahaha!" Everyone in the car laughed.

"Wait a minute, Teacher Sa, didn't you say before that Peking University is okay? It's just okay!" Qi Long's words continued the laughter.

"Nonsense, if you go to Tsinghua University, your life will be ruined!" Sa Beining shouted righteously.

The whole car laughed even louder!

(End of this chapter)